Foxing the Geese

by Janet Woods

  He remained standing and cleared his throat. ‘Miss Fox … I am looking for a wife.’

  She tried him with a little gentle humour to lessen the tension. ‘Do you have a description of her?’

  He gazed at her, a wrinkle pleating his forehead. ‘You do understand I’ve never been married.’

  No sense of humour.

  ‘I was teasing, My Lord.’

  ‘Ah yes … I don’t find the matter one of amusement. I imagine you would like to know what I have to offer you.’

  Definitely no sense of humour!

  ‘There’s no need to go on, My Lord. You are practically a stranger to me, and I have no intention of marrying you.’

  ‘But your aunt said—’

  ‘Mrs Goodman has no say in the matter. I’m sorry you were put to the embarrassment of presenting your petition, and thank you for your consideration.’

  ‘Aye well, I won’t be fobbed off that easily, lassie. At least let me have my say, otherwise you’ll be sorry you turned me down. It’s not as though you have anything of substance to bring to a marriage, or a string of admirers waiting in a queue … except that penniless nere-do-well LéSayres, who has drunk and gambled his way through a fortune, or so I’ve been told.’

  ‘You do the earl a disservice, My Lord. I believe you are mistaking him for one of his relations.’

  ‘Be that as it may, that sort of behaviour is bred in the blood.’ His colour rose. ‘Och … but now I see you up close, lassie, you don’t look the type of woman who would breed easily.’

  She bit back a gasp at his vulgarity, though she would have rather sunk her teeth into his leg. This man was certainly no gentleman … but he hadn’t finished.

  ‘Your aunt said you might be difficult, and indicated she was eager to be rid of you since she expects to announce her daughter’s engagement any day.’ He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to protest. ‘Kindly allow me to finish.’

  ‘You have finished as far as I’m concerned.’

  He raised his voice. ‘Your aunt informed me you have an argumentative disposition. Behaviour can be modified by discipline though, so I’m willing to take you off her hands. You’re a bonnie lass in your own way, and we can be wed by special licence and be on our way to Scotland by Sunday. I’m not one to dilly-dally so make up your mind quickly, girl.’

  Lord Statham would probably expect her to breed once a year, until she’d produced enough children to form a bagpipe band. And how on earth had Alex got into the conversation?

  She bit down on the outrage that welled up inside her. The whole proposal had been ludicrous. Argumentative? He didn’t know how argumentative she could be. Laughter trickled stealthily into her mind to blend with her anger. It had a hysterical edge and it took all of her effort to keep it at bay.

  She crossed to the bell pull and gave it such a jerk that she mentally apologized to the bell at the other end.

  To her relief, the footman, Matthew, appeared just as she was saying to Statham, ‘I find your manner to be objectionable and your choice of conversation inappropriate. Let me put you right about one thing, since you saw fit to raise the subject – Lord LéSayres presents himself as the true gentleman he is, one who is of modest habit as well as means.’

  She turned to Matthew. ‘Show Viscount Statham out before … well, before I strike him.’

  ‘Yes, Miss Fox, should I use force?’

  ‘If he resists.’

  Matthew opened the door, surprising Vivienne’s aunt who had her ear to the keyhole and who staggered backwards and only just regained her balance. ‘I dropped my handkerchief and stooped to pick it up,’ she said.

  The expression on Matthew’s face told the Scottish lord he’d welcome the chance to kick him in the rear. ‘This way, sir.’

  ‘I know the way,’ Statham growled. After a moment of hesitation he picked up his hat and coat and departed.

  ‘Oh, my goodness,’ Aunt Edwina gasped, one hand clutching the newel post for support, the other fluttering against her chest. ‘Whatever did you say to him, Vivienne?’

  ‘I told him he was being objectionable and his conversation was inappropriate.’

  ‘How could you?’

  ‘Quite easily, especially after he’d insulted me several times.’ She turned to Matthew. ‘My thanks.’

  ‘It was a pleasure, Miss Fox.’ He bowed and headed towards the servants’ quarters.

  ‘We must talk, Vivienne. I can’t have you insulting guests in my establishment, especially guests of honourable intent.’

  ‘I will not discuss what took place with you, since there was no honour attached to it. However, I understand you took it upon yourself to discuss my circumstances with him.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘I also object to the fact that you told him I was argumentative, and you couldn’t wait to get rid of me. He told me discipline would modify my faults.’

  ‘Oh, what a to-do,’ Adelaide said from the top of the stairs. ‘I wish I’d been there to watch you see him off. I can see you are quite put about, Vivienne, but there, I placed a wager with Freddie Lamington and I’ll share the prize money with you. Freddie bamboozled Statham by telling him you were pining with love for him and he should propose.’ Her laughter sounded forced. ‘I told him you’d turn the man down.’

  ‘Are you telling me that you and Freddie Lamington brought this mockery about?’

  ‘And his friend Simon Mortimer as well. He’s such a wit. It was only fun, Vivienne.’

  ‘Fun for whom? It’s not fun to single out a man and make a fool out of him. He came here with the right intention, an intention that had been bolstered by your falsehoods, and he left here horridly embarrassed. Worse … he will think I was involved in your silly game. You have caused animosity where previously there was none. I shall have to write an apology to him and explain the circumstances.’

  ‘Oh, I shouldn’t bother. It will be all over town within the hour and I will beg his pardon myself, and in person. He likes me; he said so. It’s because I’m shorter than him. He finds your height intimidating. Goodness, Vivienne, what has come over you? You used to be such fun, but you’ve turned into a stodgy old maid.’

  ‘While you’re still acting like a child.’

  ‘Enough, Vivienne,’ her aunt cried out. ‘This is such a carry-on over what can only be described as a silly prank. Perhaps I should remind you that it’s not your duty to chastise my daughter. Goodness, you are giving me such a headache. I shall not attend the picnic after all, and I doubt if Lord Statham will join us now.’

  ‘I hope not,’ Adelaide said irreverently. ‘He’s a vulgar old man who can’t remove his gaze from my bosom, and he leers.’ She shuddered. ‘I’m not sorry I played that trick on him, but I am sorry if I caused you embarrassment, Vivienne.’ Adelaide threw her arms around her. ‘Say you’ll forgive me.’

  Vivienne nodded, knowing it would be churlish not to forgive her cousin after such a genuinely offered plea.

  Aunt Edwina sighed. ‘Despite the situation, you have turned your back on a perfectly good suitor, Vivienne. I despair of you. I suspect you have no intention of entering the state of wedlock, and shall not encourage any more suitors to call on you. As for the viscount’s hurt feelings, I will send him a note explaining the matter myself and apologize on your behalf.’

  ‘Pray do not, for I have no intention of doing so. The proposal of marriage and my response to it was a private matter.’

  ‘Very well, my proud missy, I shall write to your father regarding your lack of respect towards your elders and your odd behaviour in general.’

  ‘As you wish, Aunt.’

  ‘Hah! It’s not what I wish … it’s not what I wish at all,’ she said. ‘It’s my duty. Now go to your room, for I don’t want to see you for the rest of the day. I will tell the earl that the picnic is cancelled.’

  Adelaide almost flung herself at her mother. ‘No, Mama … please! You mustn’t. I’ve been so looking forward to it, and besides, I�
��ve arranged for Lord Lamington, and Mr Mortimer and his sister, to meet our party in the park. They are much in demand, and such fun … especially Freddie Lamington. He’s a baron now.’

  Adelaide collected a sharp look from her mother. ‘Am I to take it that the baron is taking a serious interest in you, when he seems to be too shallow and flippant to be serious about his pursuit of you?’

  ‘Oh … but he is serious, he just seems to be that way to people who don’t know him. We love each other.’

  ‘Very well, Adelaide, since there is safety in numbers, I suppose it can still go ahead. Vivienne, until the earl arrives you must stay in your room and reflect on what has taken place. After that you can resume your chaperone duties for the day. By that time I hope your disposition will have improved. There is nothing more irritating to a man as a petulant woman.’

  She swept past her daughter. ‘Adelaide, follow me into the drawing room. You will tell me all about the two gentlemen you’ve just mentioned.’

  Alone in her bedroom, Vivienne supposed her behaviour had been less than ladylike and she’d been more outspoken than she should have been. She just wished her aunt would stop harping on about her lack of suitors. How could she attract a husband when her aunt told them she had a temper like a viper?

  Vivienne drew out her London journal and wrote on Lord Statham’s page: Wealthy: Yes. Looks are indifferent. He has no manners or sense of humour. This is a gentleman in name only. He’s a dour, self-opinionated and rough little man and there is a hectoring tone to his voice that warns me he might be a bully. A thousand times, no.

  She turned to Alex’s page and ran her finger over his name.

  Alex arrived in a horse and carriage hired for the afternoon, just as the clock chimed eleven. She beat Matthew to the door and the smile Alex offered her bathed her in warmth, so any tension still left in her body from the earlier argument fled before its onslaught.

  His gaze lingered on her face. ‘Are you sure you’re recovered from your headache? You look a little strained.’

  ‘I’m fine, really. The flowers you sent me are so pretty. I’ve pressed a couple to keep for when I’m old and need pleasant memories to sustain me.’

  After a quick look around he kissed her on the forehead then said softly, ‘You look delightful, my dear.’

  ‘So do you.’ He was wearing his dittos. Black suited him. It made him look slightly sinister, and she trembled with pleasure at the thought of spending the afternoon with him.

  ‘Lord Statham and my aunt will not be in attendance, so there are only three of us left, though some friends of my cousin may join us there. You have probably heard of Freddie Lamington. There will also be Freddie’s friend, Simon Mortimer, and his sister, Miss Mortimer. Are you still happy to escort us? You’re under no obligation.’

  ‘Most definitely … unless your wish is to be in the company of younger men?’

  Surely he didn’t mean that, and she looked at him, uncertain. ‘Certainly not, I value your friendship and your companionship highly. It would be fair to say I feel I can trust you, Alex, and besides, you couldn’t be described as old.’

  His chuckle tickled up her spine. ‘Neither could you, and as for the declaration of trust … that’s a blatant attempt to gain access to my finer feelings.’

  ‘It certainly was not … do you have any finer feelings?’ She laughed with him. ‘I hadn’t realized you were so conceited, Alex LéSayres.’

  ‘You also haven’t realized what a flirt you are becoming. It’s very enticing.’ He stooped to kiss her, but on the mouth this time.

  Surely their mouths must have been specially created to cling together so lovingly, she thought, even while knowing she shouldn’t encourage his attention. All the same, she hadn’t meant to fall in love with him, it had just happened. She returned his kiss.

  They were driven apart by the sound of a footfall on the stair above. For the space between a heartbeat their gazes deepened and clung and she was drawn into the naked depths of his thoughts.

  She murmured his name, a tiny whisper that would have been audible only to him. ‘I should not have allowed that.’

  ‘You’re a baggage.’

  She didn’t know whether to laugh or scold him at the tease.

  He rescued her with a smile. ‘I’m not going to apologize because I enjoyed every second.’

  ‘So did I.’ It had been a beautifully intimate start to the day. She could have him if she wanted. All she need do was tell him of the fortune she possessed.

  She argued with her conscience.

  Purchase him, do you mean? What happened to your noble intention to love and be loved?

  I do love him. Look, he’s kissed me twice, and he’s brought me flowers so I think he likes me.

  Think? You need to be sure if you want to be happy. Too many women have fallen into the trap of thinking a man was in love with them and lived to regret it. Have the courage of your convictions.

  She wavered. Must I? What will I do if in the meantime Alex meets a woman who has everything he needs in a wife? Languish in my room for the rest of my life, or die of a broken heart?

  She had no answer to that. The first solution was too melodramatic to be anything but laughable, the second too morbid to contemplate. She stiffened her resolve. She would not perish over a man, even if his kiss did rob her of common sense.

  Maria came down the stairs carrying rugs to spread on the grass. The food hampers were brought up from the kitchen, along with a rug and pillows for the ladies to seat themselves on. Matthew also brought a small folding table to act as a servery, and everything was placed in a donkey cart.

  The three of them seated themselves in the carriage. They were about to set off when her aunt hurried out of the house, looking flustered. ‘I’ve decided to come after all. It’s no good moping at home when the day is so pleasant.’

  Adelaide sucked in an annoyed breath.

  ‘Allow me.’ Alex helped Edwina into the carriage.

  It was a bright afternoon and they found a shady spot under a tree, and not far from the bandstand. The bandsmen looked smart in their blue uniforms with red trouser stripes, gold braid and a black and red hat with a jaunty red pom-pom. Military marches were played and small boys marched up and down, saluting each other as they passed.

  Adelaide’s gaze roved over the crowds, her mouth pulled tight and down at the corners. Just as the food was being served she underwent a sudden metamorphosis. She smiled, then waved, calling out, ‘Here we are, Freddie.’

  There were introductions all round. Miss Mortimer resembled her brother with eyes as dark as her hair. She was exquisitely gowned in pale green with white lace, with matching parasol. Graceful, and with a tinkling smile, her glance swept over the party in acknowledgement, then settled on Alex, who’d offered her his spot on the blanket.

  ‘How sweet of you,’ she cooed, and detained him with a silk-gloved hand when he stood. ‘I’m sure there’s room for two of us.’

  Simon Mortimer sat between Vivienne and his sister. He said, ‘I have caught up with you at last, Miss Fox. I do think you’ve been avoiding me.’

  ‘I assure you I haven’t, for I have no reason to.’

  ‘You’re looking well this year. One can almost believe the rumour that you’ve inherited a fortune in the form of a West Indian sugar plantation.’

  So Simon had managed to scratch the source of her supposed fortune out of the dirt? She recalled that he was an attorney-at-law, and he might have learned of it through his colleagues. He was reputed to be quite wealthy, and was exceedingly handsome.

  ‘Really? How amusing, Mr Mortimer. Pray, do tell me all about it.’

  ‘Oh no … please do not,’ Aunt Edwina begged. ‘The suggestion is preposterous. My niece is tired of the subject and so am I.’

  Simon ignored Aunt Edwina’s remark and his amused eyes gazed into Vivienne’s. ‘My sources are very reliable. Either you’re a very good liar, Miss Fox … or I have been misled?’

 
; ‘A liar … misled? Some might find your remarks objectionable, Mr Mortimer,’ Vivienne warned, but lightly.

  ‘Fox by name and Foxy by nature. Can it be that the lady is also a little vixen? Be careful of her, Simon, she might bite.’ Freddie laughed at his own wit, and Adelaide, along with her mother, dutifully tittered.

  ‘Well?’ Simon said, giving a chuckle. ‘Are you going to tell us?’

  ‘Tell you what, that I received a legacy? Yes, I did. There, I’ve admitted it.’

  Adelaide laughed. ‘Don’t get your hopes up, Simon, My cousin inherited enough money to refurbish her wardrobe … though I don’t admire her taste in fashion.’

  ‘Some men prefer modesty in a woman,’ Alex said.

  ‘Except in private,’ Simon suggested.

  His sister gave a tinkling laugh. ‘Her gown is of excellent quality and cut and it seems to me that Miss Fox makes the best of her appearance – what do you think, Simon?’

  He patted his sister’s hand then turned to Vivienne. ‘I would certainly agree with that, Sophia. Tell me though, is it true, Miss Fox … did you squander all your inheritance on new gowns?’

  ‘Not all of it. I purchased what I needed and I do have an amount put aside.’

  His eyes flicked over her, faintly dismissive. ‘That gown wouldn’t make much of a dent in say … fifty pounds.’ His eyes snapped up to hers, as if to catch her unaware.

  She gazed at him, hoping her expression was incredulous enough to fool him. ‘Considering your profession, I would have thought you’d rely on facts rather than rumour, Mr Mortimer. Besides, the cost of my wardrobe is nobody’s business but mine and I have no intention of discussing the cost of my apparel with you.’

  ‘You should perhaps reveal the sum of your dowry. It would stop the conjecture.’

  ‘As I told you, Mr Mortimer, I’m not very good at calculations, but I’ll tell you all a secret,’ and she gazed round at them all and lowered her voice. ‘It fills my father’s study from floor to ceiling. There is so much money there that we can hardly open the door to get in or out.’