Sally Wentworth

by Semi-Detached Marriage (lit)

  Simon was still battling with his problems in Scotland; several times Cassie came home late from an evening spent with Tom after he'd picked her up straight from work, and found that Simon had left a message on the answer-phone for her. She had told him, of course, that she was showing Tom round London, but that was at the beginning and since then she had played it down, knowing that there was no harm in her going out with Tom for the couple of weeks he was to be in England, but afraid that Simon wouldn't see it the same way.

  Only Tom showed no sign of hurrying back to America. He had found premises for his new branch quite quickly and had ordered all the necessary equipment: computer, telex, word processor, that kind of thing, and had placed ads for staff in the London area papers. That he was a dynamic businessman behind his lazy grin and casual air, Cassie found out almost at once when she went with him to an estate agent's office and they attempted to keep him waiting for someone they thought would be a more financially rewarding client. Tom didn't say much, but what he did say made the red-faced estate agent give him his immediate and undivided attention. So she knew that he could get things moving when he wanted to, but now he showed no signs of hurry, taking his time in interviewing staff and driving all over the place to follow up contacts and leads for new business.

  Cassie saw him nearly every night now as a matter of course, and she no longer suggested somewhere for them to go; Tom had quickly got to know London and now took her to places she would never have dreamt of going with Simon, such as to watch greyhound racing, Japanese wrestling, or to an open-air jazz concert in the grounds of a mansion in Hertfordshire. During the latter they had shared a bottle of champagne and were merry and laughing on the way back in the car that Tom had hired. Tom was singing old Colonial songs and making Cassie join in the choruses even though she protested that she couldn't sing, so that she was still gurgling with laughter as she let herself into the flat.

  Tom followed her in. 'You okay now?'

  'Mm, fine.' Cassie turned to face him. 'Goodnight, Tom. Thanks for a great evening.'

  'My pleasure.' He bent to kiss her goodbye and Cassie giggled and put a hand up to rub her mouth. 'What is it?'

  'It's your moustache, it tickles.'

  He laughed and put his hands on her arms, holding her. 'It does, huh? Now I know how to get at you, then.' And he teasingly bent to try and kiss her again while Cassie laughingly pulled away. Only his hands were holding her so firmly that she couldn't move and had to submit to his teasing. She wasn't quite sure how or when it happened; one minute they were both laughing and she was struggling to get free, the next his hands on her arms were tightening, hurting her and the laughter had gone from his face, to be replaced by a look of intense desire. And then his lips were on hers, not friendly or teasing anymore, but filled with a passionate hunger as his mouth pressed against hers, hard and insistent, demanding that she open her lips and yield her mouth to the hot importunities of his. For a few brief minutes, Cassie submitted before jerking her head away and saying sharply, 'No! Tom, don't.'

  Immediately he lifted his head, but his fingers still bit into her arms and his breathing was unsteady.

  `You-you'd better go.'

  'Cassie?' His voice still sounded thick as he put a hand up to her chin, made her turn and look at him. 'Look, Ii know I shouldn't have done that, but you're so darned lovely that I…' He broke off and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead, then stepped away from her. 'I know I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. But it just happened. You don't have to be afraid, I'm not going to make a pass. So don't think that anything's changed, okay?' He came near her again, raised his hand as if he was going to touch her but then shoved it in his pocket. Cassie looked at him, her eyes troubled, knowing in her heart that it couldn't be the same again and yet willing to believe that he meant it because that was what she wanted, too.

  'I'll pick you up tomorrow; we'll go for a drive in the country, right?'

  'Ii don't know.'

  'Honey, trust me.' He grinned at her. 'Just pals, huh?'

  Cassie laughed and said in a mock Cockney accent, 'Right y'are then, me old mate.'

  Tom's eyes widened and he gave a full masculine laugh of appreciation. 'You're crazy, do you know that? Beautiful but crazy.' He kissed her very lightly on the forehead. 'See you tomorrow.'

  Cassie lay awake for some time that night, telling herself that Tom had just got a little carried away, that was all. That it was just a kiss, and what was one kiss nowadays? Why, if she'd been single she'd have thought nothing of it, would have been surprised, in fact, if Tom hadn't tried to make a pass. But even though she told herself that it was nothing, the fact remained that no other man had kissed her like that since her marriage, and she felt strangely guilty, knowing that she should have pulled away earlier, that she hadn't protested forcibly enough or said no, she wouldn't go out with him again. And yet, at the same time, the very fact that Tom obviously found her attractive and desired her was a heady excitement. Simon had been away for so long that she had begun to doubt her own power and looks, and it was intensely satisfying to have them reconfirmed by someone as good- looking and macho as Tom.

  But even so the fact that it had happened at all frightened her, and she wished fervently that Simon would come home. It had been so long now, over two months since she had seen him. She remembered that it was his birthday next week; usually they went out to the theatre to celebrate, but this year they might as well be a million miles apart for all the chance there was of him coming home. Cassie stirred restlessly and thumped the pillow. For heaven's sake, it was only half a day's journey away, you'd think he'd be able to get home for his damn birthday! The thought gave her an idea; perhaps he could be made to come home.

  The next morning she started phoning round their friends, inviting them to a party the following Saturday, Simon's birthday. Then came the more difficult part. She dialed the number in Scotland, imagining the numbers singing along the telephone wires, clicking into place and the phone ringing in the house by the sea. But it was the maid who answered and told her that Simon had gone into Kinray, so she had to leave a message for him to phone back. Tom called to collect her before he did so, however, and it wasn't until she got home that evening that they made contact.

  `I phoned earlier,' Simon told her, `but you were out. You seem to be out quite often lately.' 'Do I?'

  Simon resisted the challenge in her voice and asked,

  `Where were you, at your mother's?'

  'No,' Cassie hesitated for the briefest second. `I was with Tom. We went to see the Hell Fire Caves at High Wycombe.' She went on hurriedly, before he could speak, `Simon, I've had a wonderful idea. Everyone's been asking me how you're getting on—all our friends, that is—-arid you haven't seen any of them for so long that I thought it would be great if we could get them all together at the same time, so I-well, I've arranged a party for next Saturday for your birthday. Don't you think that that's a great idea?' she added on a note of desperation.

  Simon's voice sounded tired. `Yes, darling, I do, but you know the situation I'm in here. AU the negotiations are at a very delicate stage and I have to be on hand in case any problems crop up. If you'll just be patient until the new contracts are all agreed on, then I promise I'll take a couple of weeks off and we'll go away together somewhere.'

  `Oh, and when do you think that will be?'

  `If all goes well it could be at the end of this month.'

  `If all goes well. If one of the unions doesn't decide that someone else is getting more than them. If…'

  Cassie, listen…' Simon broke in.

  `No, you listen. I'm sick and tired of listening to your promises. It's been over two months now. I want you here for that party next Saturday. Do you understand, Simon? I want you here!'

  There was a pause in which she could hear her own heart beating. She gripped the receiver until her knuckles showed white, striving to control the mixture of anger, fear and yearning that had gone into her demand.<
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  'Cassie, has something happened?'

  For a moment she was tempted to tell him about Tom, but what was there to tell, just a kiss that had gone a bit deeper, that was all. So she answered, 'No. I just want you to be here, that's all.'

  His voice hardened. 'So you decided to pressgang me by arranging this party?'

  'Call it that, if you like. If your head office sent for you, you'd be on the next plane,' she pointed out furiously. 'Well, now I'm sending for you. I want you here on Saturday, so just-just be here!' Then she slammed the phone down, afraid that she would break down and he would hear her.

  During the rest of that week, Cassie saw Tom as often as before, and though at first she had been afraid he would follow up his pass, he made no attempt to do so, was just as friendly and attentive as he'd been before, so that she was able to relax in his company again. For a while she had been in two minds about inviting him to Simon's party, but now she did so, and he immediately offered to buy all the drink.

  'Oh, but I couldn't let you do that,' Cassie protested.

  'Why not? Call it my birthday present to Simon, if you like.'

  And he overrode her objections, entering into the organisation of the party with enthusiasm and coming round on the Saturday afternoon to bring all the drink and staying to help her with the food.

  `What time's Simon arriving?' he asked her when they had more or less finished and were having a well earned cup of coffee.

  'I'm not sure, it depends on when he can get away,' Cassie prevaricated. Actually she had only spoken to Simon once since she had issued her ultimatum. That had been on Thursday evening when he had phoned briefly to say that he would try to get home on Saturday but couldn't guarantee it or give a time. And that was it. He had then rung off, obviously still angry with her.

  'I'm sure looking forward to seeing him again,' Tom remarked casually.

  'Yes, I expect you'll have a lot to talk about,' Cassie answered absently, her mind still on Simon's abrupt telephone call. Tom said something else which she didn't catch. 'I'm sorry, what did you say?'

  'I said that Simon was a lucky man.'

  Cassie turned towards him and found that Tom was watching her.

  'Lucky? Oh, why? Because he works for Mullaine's still?'

  'No, because he has this,' he told her, putting out his hand in a sweeping gesture to take in the flat, 'and because he has you.'

  Cassie shook her head and opened her mouth to protest, but before she could speak Tom went on, 'Of course I also think he's kind of crazy.'

  'Why?'

  'Because he's gone to Scotland and left you alone here.'

  Cassie's face hardened. 'And just what's that supposed to mean?' She set down her cup and stood up angrily. 'Just because Simon's away it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to be unfaithful to him, you know.'

  Tom, too, stood up and came over to her. 'Hey, simmer down! I didn't say it did.' He put his hands on her shoulders. 'I merely meant that any guy who can stay away from someone as beautiful as you for so long must be crazy, that's all.'

  'Oh! I'm sorry, I suppose I must be a bit edgy.' Cassie became aware of his hands on her shoulders, of his closeness, and moved away. 'Giving parties always makes me nervous.'

  Tom watched her for a minute as she fussed over the table, rearranging some of the dishes and straightening the serving spoons. 'I also think that you're not the kind of girl who likes being alone.'

  Cassie turned to him, shaking her head and laughing. 'Oh, but that's where you're wrong; I'm very independent and self-sufficient.'

  'On the surface, maybe.' He moved to her side, his blue eyes fixed on her face. 'But underneath I think you're as vulnerable as the next girl. You need a man around, Cassie, someone to take care of you.'

  His eyes held hers as Cassie gazed back at him uncertainly, then she quickly turned her head and said, 'No. No, I don't. I'm quite content to be on my own while Simon's away.'

  She changed the subject then, and Tom left soon after to go back to his hotel to change for the party, but when he had gone, as she was herself getting ready,

  Cassie looked at her reflection in the mirror and wondered why he'd said that. Was she vulnerable? She'd never thought so before. But then she had never been alone for any length of time before; she had lived with her parents right up until her marriage and since then had only been by herself on the occasions when Simon had been away on business for a few days at a time. Never long enough for her to have to rely on her own resources or to get lonely or bored. Is than what's wrong with me? she wondered, her green eyes staring back at her from the mirror shadowed by doubt. Am I incapable of being alone? Do I need someone, a man, to take care of me?

  Then she made a face at herself in the mirror, shrugging off the idea. Of course she didn't need anyone, she could manage perfectly well by herself. But even so the thought came to her that the first three months without Simon had been almost unbearable, so what would the rest of the three years be like?

  The party was as successful as any party can be when the guest of honour doesn't turn up. Everyone Cassie had invited came and they all brought birthday presents for Simon. She told them all that he would be there later on and concentrated on being the hostess.

  Julia and John Russell were there, of course, Julia looking young and sparkly and flirting openly with her husband, teasing and laughing at him, so that John, too, looked happier than he'd done for some time. At first Cassie thought that this must be because Julia had given up her affair with another man and turned her attention back to John, but then she realised that it was because the affair was still going on that Julia was so vibrant and alive, and that some of her happiness had rubbed off on to the husband who now looked at her with such pride and pleasure. Cassie watched them both and wondered how on earth John could be so blind, so complacent.

  Determinedly she switched her attention to the other guests, putting on a happy face and trying to take their sympathy, as the time went on and Simon still didn't show up, with as much bravado as she could muster.

  'Never mind, Cassie, perhaps he got caught up in another strike at Heathrow, or something. I'm sure I saw something in the paper about some kind of disruption that was threatened there,' Sue Martin told her.

  'Yes, I expect it's something like that,' Cassie agreed, but not really believing it. She poured Sue another drink and one for herself. Although they didn't know Simon particularly well, she had invited the Martins to the party because Sue had seemed so down lately; she looked a little happier tonight, with her husband by her side, but she still had a lost, almost frightened look behind the social smile. Chris, though, seemed to have changed since Cassie had last seen him, he appeared to be far more confident and self-assured; evidently his new responsibilities at work had been good for him.

  Tom came up to Cassie then and demanded that she dance with him. Cassie took a long swallow of her drink and stopped thinking about Simon and gave herself over to just plain enjoying herself. The music was good, there was plenty of food and drink, her guests were having a good time to judge from the talk and laughter, and Tom was being as attentive, and looking at her with as much admiration as any girl could wish. So what the hell did it matter if her husband cared more about working out some damn pay scheme than coming home to his own birthday party Cassie looked up at Tom and gave him a brilliant smile as she moved into his arms for a slow number.

  He had a great sense of rhythm, moving to the music, taking her with him. Cassie could smell his aftershave.

  It was different from Simon's, he used a tangy-smelling one, whereas Tom's had a more subtle, musky aroma. He held her close, but not too close, his hands an her back, warm through the thin material of the black harem outfit she was wearing. The room was rather crowded and Cassie stumbled against him as someone knocked into her. Tom's hands tightened and she felt the hardness of his chest against her breasts. She muttered an apology and went to draw away, but he held her there and she felt his face -against her hair. Quickly she
looked up and found him gazing down at her. For a long moment their eyes met and held, then Tom smiled at her and she relaxed against him, gradually letting her arms move upwards until her hands were resting on his shoulders.

  The record came to an end and someone put on an aggressive reggae disc, changing the mood of the party completely for a while. Afterwards Cassie was busy serving the hot moussaka she'd made for supper while the guests helped themselves to the French bread, salad and other cold dishes that she'd set out beforehand. There was also a birthday cake with thirtythree candles around it, but this she took back into the kitchen and pushed into a corner. For a minute she stood looking at it, her mouth set into a bitter line, but then Tom came in looking for clean glasses and she switched back into the party again.

  It was nearly three before the first people began to leave. Cassie had expected John and Julia to be among the first to go, but Julia had explained that they'd got a baby-sitter who was willing to stay overnight and so they could stay out late for a change. John, though, had begun to wilt earlier, sitting down in an armchair to watch while Julia danced with Chris Martin or some other man, and looking more frequently at his watch, then muttering about the golf tournament he was to play tomorrow.

  By four there were only half a dozen couples left. The music was low now and smoochy for fear of waking people in the other flats. John had gone to sleep in his chair and Chris was dividing his time between his wife and Julia and evidently enjoying himself. Tom had taken Cassie's hand an hour ago and they had been dancing together ever since, except when they stopped to drink or say goodbye to people who were leaving. And it had seemed natural, after the way they had danced before, for him to draw her to him, his arms round her, her head on his shoulder.