Lipstick Diaries

by Anthony Whyte

  “I was asleep and didn’t set my alarm to call you. I’m sorry,” he apologized kissing me.

  “That’s okay. You never failed before. I guess I got used to it.”

  We spent the day getting my laundry done. We went grocery shopping and I decided to cook for us both before leaving for work. I made his favorite steak with onions and white rice.

  Two hours remained after dinner before I had to go. It was plenty of time for twelve-play. I aggressively slid my hands down his leg heading for his manhood.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m kinda tired.” He said and stopped me.

  My jaw dropped opened with surprise. I thought he was addicted to sex. Sebastian wanted me every chance we had but not today. He decided to leave and I got dressed then escaped to my alter ego. The whole incident replayed mentally as I danced.

  Sunday, I slept well into the afternoon. Sebastian hadn’t called me at five a.m. I called him when I woke up.

  “Baby, how are you?” I asked.

  “I’m fine sweetie. How was last night?” he replied hurriedly.

  “It was alright. I made even more money than Friday night. What did you get into last night?”

  I first wanted to hear what he’d say and chose not to mention the call.

  “Baby, I was working on a canvas and really got into it. And then I went out with the boys for some drinks, I got back around four am and feel asleep.”

  That was totally out of his character. No matter what Sebastian would always call or send me a text. He’d tell me every time he was hanging with the fellows. Sebastian suddenly changed and I didn’t know why. Our conversation was going no where fast. I changed the subject by informing him that I was staying at Elizabeth’s for the night. He told me he had hoped we could talk about Boston.

  I still wasn’t ready to answer that question. I hung up, changed and went to Manhattan. It was a beautiful cool afternoon, the leaves had started to fall and I loved the sound it made when it rustled against my shoes. I got to Elizabeth’s dorm and smelled spaghetti sauce from the elevator. She had limited cooking skills. Every time she announced she was cooking we knew exactly what we’d be eating; spaghetti with meat sauce. I got to her door right when she was on her way to the restroom. It was down the hall shared by students on the floor.

  “Hi sweetie” I said.

  She was frightened but quickly gathered herself and reached out to hug me.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said and she raced down the hall.

  I walked into her room and changed into my sweats. I kept a pair at her dorm. When Elizabeth returned, we ate in front of the TV. She showed me some new DVD’s and wanted me to pick some to watch while she made popcorn. The popcorn was ready by the time I had picked out the ones I wanted to see. We curled up on the bed and it was girl’s movie night. It was fun hanging with Elizabeth. Every once in a while I’d glance at the park.

  Sebastian called at ten and we chatted. He told me he had finished a new painting and wanted to show it to me. We talked and he asked to speak to Elizabeth. They chatted for a minute too long and I was exhausted at this point. Elizabeth handed me the cell phone. I wished Sebastian goodnight and went to sleep until I heard the alarm the following morning.

  On Mondays I had a heavy class schedule. I was looking forward to it since two of the classes I had were with Sebastian and Elizabeth. I had forgotten to mention the sexy pajamas situation to Elizabeth. I chose not to mention my birthday plans for Sebastian. It bothered her that I had such a great relationship going and she doesn’t get a lot of dates.

  Elizabeth and I were getting out of the restroom after retouching our lip-gloss. Sebastian was standing outside. He knew our routine so well. He kissed my lower lip gently. I saw Elizabeth staring and pulled away quickly.

  After classes it was finally time for lunch. We went to our usual spot and there was little talk. We were all hungry. I was caressing Sebastian’s leg under the table. I couldn’t wait to get home that night to be alone with him. He slipped his hand up my wool skirt and rubbed my clit. I was surprised Elizabeth hadn’t noticed. I didn’t care. I couldn’t bring myself to stop him. He knew exactly how to touch me and just then he stopped. He slipped his hand back out. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Elizabeth and Sebastian had one more class together. I left for my shift at the store, thinking if lunch was that good, tonight would be amazing.

  After work I headed home and immediately got in the shower. As soon as I was finished, the doorbell rang. Sebastian was early. I didn’t mind and opened the door. He had this look in his eye, grabbed me and pulled me close. I wrapped my legs around him and the towel fell to the ground as we kissed deep.

  He closed the door behind us. He drove me against the wall and his passionate kiss transported me to another world. He held me up with one hand, unbuttoned his pants and slipped his penis inside my warm moistness. Sebastian was thrusting with all his strength. It hurt a little, but I yearned for him.

  “Oh yes, baby,” I moaned.

  Then he grabbed my breast staring lustfully at me. I pushed my head back and closed my eyes. I raked his back with my fingertips. He carried me over to the kitchen sink and started sucking on my clit. I was climaxing as he kept licking. His lips were filled with my juices as he kissed me.

  “Ah…Sebastian, ooh!” I screamed when I felt him again inside me. His thrusts were more than I could bear. I held on to the edge of the sink. He closed his eyes and ejaculated inside me.

  “Oh Just!” He cried out as he came. I was speechless I was so aroused I wanted him again. I looked at him and he knew. Sebastian scooped my five-foot-eight frame and carried me into the bedroom. We made sexy love all night.

  When morning came, I looked over at the clock; we were late. I tapped him. He opened his eyes, saw the time and we both hopped into the shower. Before leaving, he stopped at the door, brushed my curly black hair behind my ears and whispered.

  “I love you.”

  “Ditto,” I replied returning his kiss.

  Too busy thinking about my baby…

  Thursday rolled around quickly. It was Sebastian’s birthday and I hoped he would love all I had planned. I spoke to him in the morning and we got through our day. I saw Elizabeth briefly but I still didn’t mention my plans for Sebastian’s birthday.

  There was a box sitting on the bed when he got home. It contained his first gift, a suit for him to wear tonight. I left specific instructions in the box for him. At six, a car would take him to Tavern on the Green Restaurant in Central Park. I was already seated in a tight, black Armai cocktail dress when he arrived.

  “Wow baby!” He said beaming with astonishment.

  “Happy birthday,” I smiled kissing him. He was stunning. The black suit fit him perfectly. He flipped through the menu carefully reading all the entrees. We ordered shrimp cocktail for appetizers and filet mignon.

  “This is too much,” he said.

  “This is only the beginning,” I replied with a seductive smile.

  Dinner discussion was centered on how we first met and the sweet moments we had shared. Sebastian was taking time to reflect. I loved the look in his eye. It was a combination of appreciation, astonishment and amour all rolled in one.

  We finished dinner and moved on to dessert. He had tiramisu and I chose the strawberry cheesecake. When his cake arrived it had a candle in it.

  “Make a wish baby,” I said.

  Later, I fed him the strawberries off the top of my cake. He looked at me like he couldn’t wait to get home. When we left the restaurant there was a horse carriage waiting outside. Sebastian’s mouth opened in disbelief. He was speechless and stared blankly at me.

  We went for a stroll around the park counting the stars in the sky. He held me so tight and I could feel the love radiating from him. We kissed several times as our ride ended back at the restaurant. We caught a taxi.

  “Thank you for making this the best birthday ever,” he said.

  “You’re in for a long night,”
I replied.

  The cab pulled up in front of Dangerfield’s. He looked at me and started to laugh already. His favorite comedian was in town. Inside we laughed till our stomachs hurt.

  “To Boston,” he said raising his glass with gin and tonic. I smiled not understanding why I couldn’t share the sentiment. I loved him dearly, but just wasn’t a hundred percent sure I was ready to leave.

  The show ended and we took a cab to the Copacabana. He was excited. What better way to close the show than to dance the night away inside one of the hottest Latin club.

  The curtains came down around four. I was exhausted but had a great time giving this gift. His smile was all the thank-you I needed. Outside, we caught a cab and headed to his place. As soon as we were in the door, he pushed the strap of my black cocktail dress off my shoulder and started kissing my shoulder gently. Sebastian continued until I was naked and every bit of my body had been touched by his lips. I groaned all morning in pleasure.

  Later I left a card on his pillow. I didn’t want to wake him. Smiling, I walked out because when he awoke he would read the card.

  For all that you are and all that you’re not,

  I love you, Jus.

  Friday was a beautiful, sunny, autumn day. I slipped my heels into new boots from Ralph Lauren. Elizabeth was waiting for me by the classroom door when I got to school.

  “Hi sweets, I tried calling you guys last night but no one answered,” she said.

  “I took Sebastian out for a romantic evening for his birthday. Just the two of us,” I replied.

  “Oh! I didn’t know about that.” She said then gave me a blank stare.

  “I tried to talk to you about it but you didn’t seem too interested,” I said.

  “That’s not true, Justice,” she said as we went into the classroom.

  That night I went to work at the club but didn’t have as much fun as usual. Elizabeth’s attitude disturbed me. I felt something was wrong. I kept thinking I’d talk to her tomorrow but that never happened. I never got around to mentioning anything.

  Elizabeth called on Sunday and said that she had some papers she needed help with. I told her I would call Sebastian and the two of us would come spend the night. We could do all our papers for Monday. It was a great chance to talk a bit and with Sebastian there, we’d get into all kinds of other discussions. Sebastian met me in the lobby of Elizabeth’s dorm.

  “Hello,” he greeted me with a kiss and we went upstairs. Elizabeth opened the door and her face lit up. It was nothing like the expressions she’d been wearing recently. We walked in and changed into our pajamas. Elizabeth made spaghetti, this time she added garlic bread.

  When we were all settled we started writing our papers. Elizabeth needed help with a paper that Sebastian had to do also. I didn’t have that class with them. To make it easier, the two of them sat on the bed and worked on their paper, while I stayed on the makeshift bed to write mine. I finished early.

  “What movies do you have?” I asked Elizabeth.

  “I don’t remember them all sweets, just pick out whatever you like. They’re over by the windowsill,” she replied.

  I headed over to the window and was enthralled by the view. It was raining. I stood staring, thinking of Sebastian and feeling aroused. We weren’t alone and I quickly dispatched the thoughts. I looked at all the movie titles. Elizabeth had a large collection. I chose Threesome. I hadn’t seen it and the title was catching. I popped it in and lowered the volume not to distract them.

  “I’m making popcorn, anybody want some?” I asked. Sebastian didn’t want any but Elizabeth nodded her head.

  Halfway through the movie, my eye lids felt really heavy. I relaxed and closed them. I knew Sebastian would wake me when they were done. I’d sleep next to him. I could still hear the movie.

  After some time had passed, I heard what sounded like kissing noises. I thought it was the movie. The sounds intensified and I continued to listen keenly. It had to be a dream. Sebastian and Elizabeth were passionately making out! I wanted to open my eyes but I just couldn’t make myself do it. I tried to move my arms, which were crossed over my chest. They wouldn’t move. I was screaming at the top of my lungs but no sounds came from my mouth.

  A tsunami of pleasure groans enveloped the room. The sound rang clear. They were having sex. My mind wouldn’t accept what was going on. I must be having a nightmare thinking I’m awake. Deep down in my heart I knew I wasn’t asleep. This was clearly not only true, it was incredible. So many thoughts and images developed in my mind.

  All we’ve been through, for me to be lying two feet away from my boyfriend and my best friend, enveloped in their own fantasies. They were getting down despite me being there. The thought jolted me to reality but I remained immobilized by my emotions.

  “Do you think she can hear us?” Elizabeth whispered to Sebastian.

  “No,” he replied grunting.

  I heard the squeak of the mattress as they continued. Completely frozen, I had no control over my body or my thoughts. My tears streamed down landing on the blanket below never making a sound. What had taken years to build was destroyed in a rainy evening’s long minute. She moaned through her climax and although she had held it down, I could hear her crying.

  Finally they were finished. I stayed frozen like a statue and heard rattling of clothing. It got as quiet as a cemetery after they fell asleep. Hours passed before I could move. I got up quietly and quickly. I grabbed my clothes and got dressed. My mind went completely blank. I stared numbly at them spooning while sleeping.

  I had so much to say, it was better to say nothing at all. I did just that. I opened the door right next to where their heads were. The bright light from the dorm hall lit the darkened room awaking them. They both stared at me with the same scared look on their face. I shot each a cold look then slammed the door behind me.

  The next several days, I avoided them and school. They called continuously. Sebastian made the mistake of showing up at my house. I didn’t answer the door. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but cry. I shed tears for days. The same man that begged me to trust him because he would protect my heart was the same man that destroyed it. I was considering picking up and leaving my life in NY. He never loved me.

  I was beside myself in anguish and didn’t know what I’d do when I saw them again. The following week I returned to school. I had lost weight from not eating and had bags under my eyes. I looked awful. I had a lot of work to make up. I called my professors and told them I had a death in the family. Luckily, I was an honor student and had never missed class. All my professors agreed to give me an extension.

  I walked down the hall and several friends approached me. I played it off not being able to tell anyone what had happened. It was bottled up so well, the only thing I could do now was to heal myself. Finally, I arrived at class where both would be. I sat in the back of the classroom close to the exit. I wanted to make sure I had a quick escape route in case the tears invaded.

  They were seated next to each other. Elizabeth turned around when the professor called my name. She passed a note like most students do in high school. I ripped it loud enough for her to hear. I decided exactly what I was going to do. My revenge would be to never allow either of them the opportunity to apologize, or even so much as speak to me.

  Class ended and I quickly exited the classroom. By the time they realized, I was already on the train. This continued until the end of the semester. They each tried at different times to approach me or call me. It was like I’d never known them.

  I kept to myself, focused on work and used dancing in the clubs as my escape. I always expected Sebastian to walk into the club and had security assigned to me while I was there. He knew it would be to no avail.

  Writing poetry became my other form of release. I got sucked in deeper and deeper into the nightlife and rarely came home before six a.m. I started to drink more than usual. I didn’t think about them when I was drinking. Sleeping was difficult. I’d be awakened
by the sound of her climax.

  The semester was slow to the end. I wouldn’t have to see their faces anymore. So far, I was successful in making sure they didn’t get a chance to speak to me. I changed my phone numbers when I got tired of their attempts at calling to apologize. I scared myself by drinking way too much. Nothing helped. How could it?

  Mentally, I went over everything in an attempt to see what had blindsided me. There were things I had noticed but always brushed off. Like his late nights, the sudden change when he’d call or text me. The way Elizabeth had changed.

  When she was with Sebastian and me, her face would light up and that defensive, upset look faded. It must have bothered her a lot when I mentioned his birthday and when we kissed in front of her. I wondered how long I was blinded. How long I was the other woman in my own relationship? I was thankful of one thing, he’d never know that I would’ve said yes. He’d never know how much he meant to me. I’d have moved just to be with him. He’d never know the true secrets of my heart.

  Six long years later…

  I still close my eyes and the sounds of Elizabeth’s moans can fill my head. I was unable to complete college because of financial reasons. Not going back eliminated the possibility of seeing them. I’ve moved to a fabulous apartment a block from where I used to live. It’s new, spacious and fully carpeted one bedroom. I invested so much time into decorating it. I had my friend Edgar driving me continuously to Ikea.

  My life has changed except for the fact that I still enjoy a great club or lounge. I’m working at a financial firm and making good salary. I no longer dance at the clubs but go out every chance I get. As time passed I was able to control my drinking. I went on a few dates and realized I couldn’t take anyone seriously if I didn’t have trust.

  I’m living the single life and feeling better in my skin. I’ve also gotten my spirit back and I’m ready to mingle some.

  “What time is it?” Marie asked.