by Bridle, Dee
He sent two words: Talk soon
I didn’t expect that response and I had to wonder what the hell was going on. I curled up in bed and tried to make sense of it as I fell into an exhausted sleep.
Late Sunday night, I felt weird and a little crazy from not hearing from him. I snuck out of the house and went to Noah’s, but there was no answer. Lights were off and cars had gone. What the hell had happened?
On Monday morning, I walked into the school grounds with Sophie and realized something big was going on. We entered the locker hall and looked around at all the whispering and giggling as everyone looked at phones.
Sophie stopped breathing, thinking it was her video.
“Please god, no.”
I spotted Tyler and I went straight over to him, taking Sophie with me.
“What is it?”
He looked at me and shook his head, apparently speechless. I grabbed his phone to see. Sophie leaned over my shoulder as I pressed play on the video.
I recognized Antony and Nathan straight away. They seemed to be sitting on chairs facing each other. It cut to a close-up of their faces, smiling and leaning their head backs like they were being pleasured. Then it cut to a scene of the two of them with blindfolds on, kissing each other, like they were really enjoying it.
“Oh, my god,” gasped Sophie.
“What the hell were they thinking?” said Tyler in disgust.
It continued on with different footage, close-ups of Antony and Nathan at different times, making sex videos, the girls faces blurred. It was a clever montage to two assholes, and as I watched the film end, I had realized what Zac had done. It was a hundred times worse than a beating. This would ruin both of them for the rest of their high school existence.
“Someone said they went to the hospital last night,” said Tyler.
“Really?” I asked, wondering just how far they had taken it.
“They’re apparently home now,” he stated.
I tried to hide my shock and the need to burst out laughing. Zac had ruined them.
“I had no idea about this type of outcome,” whispered Sophie.
I heard loud giggles from the classroom across from me and looked in to see a photo of Antony and Nathan on the projector screen. It was the two of them kissing. Phones beeped around us. Everyone was reading and responding to texts.
“It’s in all the classrooms!” said someone at the door. “It’s on all the computers!”
I was dumbfounded as I heard laughter and more phones beeping.
There was an announcement over the school speakers, “All students, please go immediately to the Assembly Hall.”
I followed everyone out and made my way to the hall. It seemed anyone who hadn’t seen the video was now watching it as we all assembled into our class groups.
The principal, looking red in the face with anger, stood in front of everyone with the microphone.
“Students, it seems there has been a security breach with our network of computers. I advise you all not to access any computer within the school until this has been rectified.”
There were murmurs around the hall and I looked over to Sophie, who looked over to me. She hid a smile and looked back over to the principal.
“Quiet,” he bellowed.
Everyone fell silent.
“It has also come to my attention that there has been some highly unacceptable footage that is being shared around. As we have made clear in previous announcements, sharing this type of footage is completely forbidden. If you are caught, you will have detention and the authorities will be notified.”
There were a few snickers around the hall.
“In light of this morning’s situation, I am now banning all phones from school grounds.”
There was a collective gasp.
“You will leave your phones at home or turn them off once you reach school, and leave them in your lockers. If you do not comply, it will be confiscated and detention will follow.”
“You can’t do that,” said someone from the back.
Other classes laughed and sniggered.
“This policy starts immediately,” he bellowed.
I quickly turned my phone to silent and pulled my uniform down a little and hid it in my bra. There was no way I was losing my phone.
As I left school that afternoon with Sophie next to me, I knew Zac had done what he had set out to do. Their reputations were ruined, secrets were out, and they looked like fools. I would have never imagined anything like this, not on this scale. I guessed that was where his experience and my innocence were leagues apart. It was another reason why he had put Shara in my place, knowing she would be able to take it to the next level. I had been worried about him for nothing, because he was in control of everything.
There was a car horn and I turned to see Tyler pulling over across the road. He waved us over and we crossed to see him.
“They’re both in a bad way,” he said straight away. “The school has involved their parents, and they’ve gone ape shit.”
“Excuse me while I don’t feel sorry for them, Tyler,” said Sophie.
“They’ve involved the police, apparently,” said Tyler looking at me. “They both say they were drugged.”
“And?” I said, pretending a calmness I didn’t feel.
“Apparently a blonde girl was with them. They reckon she was the one who drugged them.”
“Oh,” I said.
“Apparently the club’s cameras malfunctioned or something for the night, so there is no video surveillance at all. It doesn’t look too good for them on finding out who did it.”
I hid my instant relief. Zac had obviously thought of that, too.
“Get in, and I’ll give you both a lift.”
As Tyler pulled into my driveway after dropping Sophie off, he put the car in park and turned to me.
“You were pretty angry Saturday night.”
I grabbed my bag and put my hand on the door handle.
“I was just pissed Zac didn’t show up. It’s not a big deal.”
“Why didn’t he show up? He never said when he texted me.”
“Just caught up at another party,” I lied.
“If you were together, wouldn’t you be at the same party?” he asked.
I gave him a dark look, annoyed at his tone.
“No. We can have different friends.”
“But didn’t I see you arrive with two of his friends?” he continued.
I swallowed.
“What’s with the twenty questions?”
“I just wondered why you were with them and not him.”
“They knew Sophie and I really wanted to go so they took us.”
“And left you there?”
“To go to the other party that Zac was at,” I said through clenched teeth.
There was a car horn and then Sarah pulled up beside us. She waved and climbed out with her yoga gear on.
“Hey, guys.”
Obviously, giving up with his interrogation, Tyler got out of the car.
“Hi, Sarah.”
“It’s sweet that you gave Ava a lift home,” she beamed.
I rolled my eyes as I got out of the car, slamming the door closed.
“Anytime,” Tyler grinned at me.
“Would you like to come in for a drink?” she asked next, heading to the front door.
I groaned under my breath.
“I think Tyler needs to get home,” I said gritting my teeth.
“I’d love a drink,” said Tyler.
“Excellent, come in,” said Sarah chirpily as she went inside.
I confronted him, “You don’t have to do this. She was just being polite.”
“I want to have a drink. She’s nice.”
I rolled my eyes again and started to make my way in.
“Besides, I want her and your dad to like me, for when I start to date you.”
I paused at the door and turned to him.
“You’re talking like it’s a fore
gone conclusion.”
“According to me, it is,” he said, stepping past me and winking on his way to the kitchen.
I couldn’t believe his sureness of the situation. He seemed so confident that I would just forget Zac and date him. That would never happen. I would only ever want one person and Tyler wasn’t him.
I went upstairs to get changed, and tossed my school bag on the floor of my room. I didn’t want to do homework. I didn’t want to “chat” with Sarah and Tyler. I needed to get rid of my pent-up anger and energy. I needed Zac.
I got my phone and pressed his name. It went straight to voicemail and this time I angrily left a message.
“Only me. I wish you would tell me what’s going on. I’m worried,” I said pausing before I continued. “And now thanks to you, I have Tyler in my house, having a drink with my freaking father’s Stepford wife. What the hell were you thinking when you got him to drive me home Saturday night?”
I ended the call and dropped the phone onto my bed.
I quickly got changed and untied my ponytail, running my fingers through my hair and letting it fall over my shoulders as if it would help with relieving some tension.
My phone rang in the silence and I jumped on it. Zac.
“Hey,” I said quickly, my heart pounding.
“You sound pissed,” he said.
“I am. Where are you? Why haven’t you called?”
“I’m…away somewhere with the boys.”
“Where? For how long?”
“Not sure yet,” he returned.
I tried to listen for background noise to figure out where he was, but I only heard him exhale and realized he was smoking.
“What does that mean?” I asked, starting to panic.
“It means, I think we need to bring the end of our month date closer.”
I was silent, fear clawing at my heart.
“We need to move on with our lives and see other people. You’ve got exams coming up and I’ve got…stuff to do.”
“Are you joking?” I gasped, my legs starting to shake.
“Ava, I warned you about this. I’m not the one for you. You need to concentrate on your future, on maybe even…Tyler. Someone who will give you everything you need.”
“No, you don’t mean that,” I cried softly. “Zac, why are you doing this?”
“Because it’s not going to work, Ava.”
“But it does. I…I really like you, Zac, I’m in lo…”
“I’ve got to go,” he said abruptly. “It’s been fun. Take care, Ava.”
The call ended and I let out a sob, a thick dread filling me, making my limbs feel heavy and my head pound. I looked at my phone and then dropped it to the carpet. I then followed, dropping to my knees. I tried to breathe, but it came out as a big gut-wrenching sob. It was over. Just like that.
Zac
With my jaw clenched, I looked out to the waves rolling in, spinning my phone around in my hand and trying not to think of a reason to call her back.
“Did you do it?” asked Noah walking across the sand.
I nodded and looked back down at my phone.
“How did she take it?” he asked sitting down next to me.
“As expected,” I muttered.
“Remind me again why you’re doing this? She was an awesome girl.”
“It was time to move on. I cared too much. I can’t give her what she needs.”
He shook his head.
“Shit, Zac, most guys who love a girl, want to keep her.”
“She deserves more,” I said frustrated.
“Cut the crap, Zac man,” he said annoyed. “You’re just shit scared, because you finally found someone who you truly care about. You can’t use her and throw her away like the others. She got under your skin from the moment you met her.”
I was silent as I looked out at the ocean, my jaw still clenched so tightly that I was about to shatter teeth.
“Jesus, man, you seemed happy with her and I haven’t seen you like that in years. Why end something that feels good?”
I took a deep breath.
“Because it will eventually turn to shit. These things do.”
Noah sighed and shook his head.
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
I looked at my screen, finding Tyler’s phone number and then typed a text.
Zac: She’s officially no longer mine. Look after her…otherwise I will hunt you down
I pressed Send and then looked back out at the ocean, trying to ignore the pain in my chest. It travelled through me, the ache intensifying as it clawed at my insides. I listened to Noah walk back to the beach house and then I put my head down, closing my eyes tightly. I tried to shut the feelings down. It wasn’t going to be okay, because it was over, and it was because of me.
I had started to want her in my life permanently, and now I had made sure she was gone. She deserved better than me, someone who wasn’t already broken. She needed someone who could promise her the world and give her everything. A girl as amazing and beautiful as her deserved it all.
I was not enough. She deserved a guy with goals and a promising future, not a criminal record, a secret job with enemies, and a sister who needed constant supervision for fear of her breakdowns. I didn’t need to share my trauma with her, because she had enough of her own to deal with, even if she didn’t know it yet.
I felt a wetness on my cheeks and looked back out to the ocean, quickly swiping the tears away with the back of my hand. I hadn’t cried for fucking years, but knowing I would never be with her again, to touch or see or hear her laugh again, killed me inside. I would never feel that emotional connection that I had tried so fucking hard not to feel, but craved like my next breath.
Ava
He didn’t want me. He didn’t love me. The month wasn’t finished and he had dumped me. What had I done so wrong? What was wrong with me?
My heart had cracked open and the pain was unbearable. I didn’t know if I would survive this.
I didn’t go to school for the rest of the week. I pretended to, even some mornings walking out of the house, only to return when they had both left the house.
I spent my days in bed, crying and driving myself crazy over my need for him. I didn’t hear from him again. He had just cut and run.
I only had myself to blame, because I was the one that had fallen for him. He had warned me time and time again, and I hadn’t listened, because I thought he would feel something for me and change his mind. But I was wrong. So wrong.
Zac
“You are fucking nuts, Zac, you know that?” shouted Janey over the loud music.
“Cheers to you,” I said drunkenly putting my straight triple whiskey glass in the air towards her.
“I really liked her! Why did you have to go and ruin it all?”
“No one is stopping you from seeing her,” I slurred.
Janey rolled her eyes.
“She probably doesn’t want anything to do with me now because of you!”
I shrugged my shoulders without a care.
“Cry me a river,” I shouted back.
She stuck her finger up at me and headed over to the bar.
I eyed the girl beside me who had sucked my cock an hour ago at the back of the club. I suddenly hated her. I gulped my drink and looked the other way. My dark angel was never far in my mind, even when another girl’s lips were around my cock. The whiskey burned my throat, and I welcomed the discomfort. I pulled my phone out and turned on my tracking application, knowing that I shouldn’t, but I did it anyway.
She was at a club four blocks away and I wondered if she was having fun. Had she forgotten me and moved on to Tyler? Was she dancing and flirting with someone right now? I knocked back the rest of the whiskey and moved to the bar to order another.
Chapter Fifteen: Answers
Ava
It took me weeks to come across the photo of the envelope again on my phone. I was confused at the time, not knowing what it meant, but as I focused on it
closely, I suddenly knew I had to find it.
I searched everywhere—under the bed, in every drawer, under everything that I could move or lift. I finally found it as I pulled his hoodie off my desk and the envelope fell to the floor. It had been inside his folded hoodie the entire time and I knew that meant something. This sealed plain envelope that didn’t have my name on it was from him and I was suddenly afraid to open it.
I sat down on my bed and looked at it for a moment. My fingers were shaking as I slowly started to peel it open, not wanting to rip it. It was all I had left of him. Copied documents were folded inside, and I pulled them out. My heart stopped as I glanced over the first one.
It was a Death Certificate.
My mother’s name was next to the title – Deceased.
A sob escaped me and I covered my mouth. My eyes scanned the rest of the sections: Marriage, Children, Parents. I stopped on Medical.
Cause of Death – Accidental, Suicidal
Place Of Occurrence – Home address
Name of Coroner.
A sob tried to come out, but I choked on it and dropped the papers. My eyes filled up and I didn’t know whether to stay seated or run from the room. She was dead. She was gone forever. She had left me by killing herself.
I picked up the papers again. The second page was a detailed police report, outlining the scene, the time it happened, and my father’s interview. A torrent of tears started their way down my face, and I gulped for air. My father had lied to me. Everyone had lied to me.
The next page was a map of the local cemetery. An area had been highlighted in blue with directions. She had been there for the last five years. I had passed it numerous fucking times, completely unaware. Hard hot pain erupted in my chest and I felt like I was going to pass out.
The last page was a note and I clutched at my aching heart as I realized it was a note from my mother. It had been submitted with the police report.
I could no longer breathe
I am sorry that I failed you both
I will always be filled with a pain that cannot be eased and I am in a place so dark that I cannot see any light