By the end of the day, Nick had a plan. Now he just needed an opportunity, and he got one handed to him on a silver platter. Bear was fussy—or so Nick assumed. He hadn’t figured how hard it would be to understand a kid who didn’t make any noise. The boy was wriggling and flopping and scowling and no matter what Tanya did, it only got worse.
“I need to take him home. He’s super cranky.”
Doreen looked around. “The closing dance…well, if he needs to go, we’ll go.”
Nick heard the disappointment in Doreen’s voice and jumped at his chance. “I can take you home later, if you want to stay.”
Doreen rewarded him with a huge grin. “Really? You’d do that for me?”
Her joy was so real that Nick almost felt bad for having ulterior motives. “Of course—if it’s okay with Tanya, that is.” They both turned to Tanya.
Nick didn’t like the look on her face because it was the same look he’d been seeing a lot—one of optimism and hope mixed with a healthy dose of skepticism. Was she on to him, or was this just more of what he had coming?
“Sure,” she said slowly. “That would be great.” It didn’t sound great, but he took it.
Tanya kissed her mom goodbye, and then Nick carried Bear back to Tanya’s rust bucket of a car. Nick recognized it as the same car Doreen had been driving years ago. “This still runs, huh?”
Tanya was silent for a moment, leaving Nick to wonder if he’d managed to insult her again. But then she said, “Yup. At least I don’t have to worry about Bear trashing it, you know? Not like that car of yours.” Her tone was light, but not suspicious. Perfect.
“Hey, no big deal. And I got a vehicle we can put the car seat in, just so you know.”
Tanya looked up at him through wary eyes. “Bought a new car, did you?”
“Actually, it’s an F-250 extended-cab truck. Figured I’d need something to handle winter weather sooner or later,” he added, so she wouldn’t think he’d bought a truck just for child transportation reasons.
Tanya sighed, her shoulders drooping down. “I can’t get used to you throwing money around, Nick. I just can’t.”
That he understood. It had taken several years for him to get to the point where he bought things for the fun of it instead of stuffing the money under a mattress like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter. “I want to see you again.”
“Me or Bear?”
No, she didn’t trust him. “Both. You have a standing invitation to come to my place. I bought a toddler bed for Bear and everything, so you wouldn’t even have to pack.”
“Where would I sleep?” She asked it carefully, as if she knew exactly what sort of detonator was on that bomb of a question.
If they were back in her little house instead of in the parking lot of a powwow, he’d kiss her. Hell, he was thinking about kissing her anyway, but he was pretty sure he’d get punched for his trouble. He’d undoubtedly stirred up an epic hornets’ nest by showing up at all, let alone spending the afternoon playing with Bear. People were going to figure out he was Bear’s father sooner or later, but sooner didn’t have to be this instant.
So he leaned back even as he kept his eyes locked on hers. “Babe, you may sleep wherever you want.”
“Oh,” was all the answer he got, but the way her cheeks colored up with a beautiful pink told him plenty. No, she didn’t have to love him. He didn’t have to love her either. It wasn’t a strict requirement. But she still wanted him.
Luckily, the feeling was mutual.
Seven
Tanya had Bear tucked under the blankets in record time. The poor boy was exhausted. With all the excitement at the powwow, he’d missed his nap and passed out in his car seat before she’d made it half a mile down the road.
She was almost as tired, but she didn’t think she was in danger of falling asleep anytime soon. Nick’s words still waltzed around her mind, spinning her in tighter and tighter circles.
Want. That was the word her brain was stuck on. He’d asked her if she still wanted him. He’d told her she could sleep anywhere she wanted. He wasn’t asking her to do anything she didn’t want.
So what did she want?
What seemed like a simple question made her so dizzy that she had to hold on to the sides of the shower while she rinsed her hair. Nick had shown up at the powwow. And he’d been correct—she’d asked him to go. But she hadn’t thought he actually would come. She still couldn’t believe it. In fact, she didn’t. She’d just dreamed that Nick had sat with her mother and played with their son, his eyes always watching Tanya. She’d imagined that he had publicly acknowledged Bear—well, not acknowledged. As far as she knew, he hadn’t told anyone he was Bear’s father. But he’d publicly accepted the boy in a drama-free way, which was practically the same thing. And if that wasn’t good enough, he’d even driven Mom home. Tanya hadn’t been so sure that Mom would be glad to see Nick, but he’d managed to win her over. The day had been so perfect that she wished she’d taken a picture of it to make it last longer.
It bordered on too-good-to-be-true. The only thing she couldn’t reconcile was the Nick who had shown up today with the Nick who had flinched in horror a few days earlier at the mention of the powwow. She couldn’t shake the feeling that Nick was doing a damn fine job of faking his sincerity.
Maybe she was overthinking this. She had been known to do that, after all. Maybe she’d just caught him by surprise after scraping up his dashboard. That car had to have cost him a fortune. It wasn’t like he’d come here and trashed her stuff. He’d just been upset, that was all. Maybe he’d gone home and decided he wanted to come, to be a part of their lives. Maybe—just maybe—he had no other motives.
Maybe she was the one who was wrong—about him.
He’s the one who left me, she tried to remind herself, but the thought rang hollow. She was digging deep for some excuse to throw up between them. Too deep. That thought felt like a desperate avoidance of a reality she couldn’t bring herself to grasp. What had he said, back during the fight in his office? That she didn’t believe he could’ve given her what she wanted? What had he meant by that? She’d always known he could be anything he’d wanted—and he’d done nothing but prove her right. He’d wanted to be the smartest, richest man in the tribe, with the nicest things. Isn’t that exactly what he’d done? Why he’d left her behind?
Unless she had it wrong. He’d seemed hurt—and not a calculated, intentional hurt. He’d acted like she’d rejected him. How was that even possible? It wasn’t, unless… A new idea cropped up. Maybe Nick hadn’t left her just because he wanted to be rich. Maybe he had another reason for leaving and not coming back until now.
She didn’t know what that reason could be, but the realization that there could be another side to the story had her questioning her entire position. What if, instead of her being the wronged woman, he had been the wronged man? “In fact,” she remembered him saying, “if I recall correctly, I asked you to come with me.” Had he really? Or was he just remembering things to his advantage?
Tanya squeezed the water out of her hair and slipped the light cotton nightie over her head. She was way overthinking things. It was late, she was tired and obviously, her mind was spinning out of control. She should just get some sleep. There was bound to be more clarity in the morning.
She padded to the kitchen to get a drink of water and some aspirin. She was getting old—well, older, anyway—and a day spent dancing in thin-soled moccasins on uneven ground meant that her feet were going to be sore for a few days.
She was putting the glass into the sink when she heard it. Tap, tap. She froze, her ears straining, but she’d know that sound anywhere.
Tap. Tap.
Someone was knocking on a window with an index finger. And only one person knocked like that.
Nick had come.
Her heart began to pound in what felt like a highly irregular clip, probably because she couldn’t tell if she was excited or terrified. She was in her jammies, her hair sti
ll damp from the shower. This wasn’t exactly putting her best foot forward.
But more than that, Nick’s intention was obvious. He wasn’t here for some quality father-son bonding time. Tapping on her windows after he knew Bear had already been tired? That could only mean one thing.
Nick had come for her.
Tap. Tap.
Suddenly, she was kicking herself. She hadn’t gotten any condoms. First off, she hadn’t exactly had the opportunity to pick up some. But more than that, she’d told herself she didn’t need any—she was not being charmed into anything by Nick. Not yesterday, not today and most certainly not tomorrow. No scratching of Nick-sized itches allowed.
Except that had all changed tonight. All of the arguments she’d had—good arguments for keeping Nick out of her bed and, to a certain extent, out of her life—seemed unfounded after today. More than ever before, he’d been everything she’d wanted.
Tap. Tap.
The final round of tapping snapped her out of her paralysis. Still not entirely sure what she wanted to happen next, she hurried to the front window.
Nick stood there, straddling the lone clump of black-eyed Susans that Tanya had managed to keep alive. When she peeked through the blind, she saw the worried look on his face. Goodness, she’d taken so long that he’d thought she wasn’t coming. Then he raised his finger to tap again and saw her.
Even through the glass and the blinds, she felt the full heat of his smile. He pulled his hand back and tilted his head to where his big, shiny truck was a shadow behind him.
Two long years of sheer sexual frustration slammed her low in the belly. No, it was more than that. True, she’d been with Nick two years ago—she had the son to prove it—but one wild night had barely made a dent in the backlog she’d accumulated in the previous two years. That meant she just had one night with Nick in the whole of four long years.
It wasn’t enough. She had to have been nuts to think it had been, because right now, she felt more than a little crazy.
She opened the door. She had to move slowly to keep the door from squeaking. Life is funny, she thought. Two years ago, she’d done the same thing, but then it had been to keep from waking her mother. Now she was desperate not to wake up her son. The rough concrete of her stoop was cool underneath her feet, but the sensation was enough to let her know she was not dreaming this. Not by a long shot.
Nick stood at the bottom of the three steps, one foot propped up on the bottom step. He still had on his hat, but it was tipped way back on his head. The dim gleam of moonlight caught his eyes under the brim, and Tanya would have sworn they shone with the same aching desire that she felt.
“I got a truck,” he said, his voice pitched low.
That’s what he had always said, all the times before when he’d tapped on her window in the middle of the night. True, it wasn’t quite three in the morning—more like ten-thirty—but Tanya felt that she was lost in the past and surging through the present at the same time. Who knew what the future held?
Nick’s eyes skimmed over her bare legs and lingered on her chest. “Wanna go for a ride?” he added, and she heard the strain in his voice. She suddenly got the sense that he didn’t know what her answer was going to be. He didn’t consider her a sure thing anymore, but he wanted her enough to ask and keep asking.
Another part of her reserve melted. He’d always said that, too, and in that second, Tanya wasn’t the conflicted, tired mom, but the wild-in-love girl she’d always been. And Nick? He was the same boy she’d loved since she was twelve. Nothing had changed. It never would, she saw now.
Nick held his hand out to her. It wasn’t too late. She could still say no—if she wanted.
What did she want?
For the second time that day, she was struck dumb by Nick’s sudden appearance. How could he be the same boy she’d always loved but also this man who she wasn’t sure she understood?
He took one step up. One step closer. “We don’t have to go anywhere. I know you can’t leave Bear…” He cleared his throat. “Just tell me what you want, Tanya. If you want me to go, I’ll go.” Another step up. Now they were eye to eye, close enough that Tanya could feel Nick’s body heat through her thin nightie. His hand circled around her waist, pulling her in. His chest was firm against hers—strong where she was weak. He leaned his forehead against hers, and even that simple touch had her melting. “Tell me what you want, babe.”
What did she want? What she’d always wanted. “You won’t leave me?”
He shook his head, a slow, deliberate movement that told her this wasn’t some knee-jerk answer. “I’ll stay all night if you want, babe.”
All night. Not forever. A small, insistent part of her vigorously shouted that his answer wasn’t good enough. She wanted him not just for now, but for always, and she’d settle for nothing less.
But then her heart—and her body—overruled that dissenting thought. She loved him; at the very least, he cared for her, much more than anyone else ever had. She had a Nick-sized itch dying to be scratched. Her body ached for the release that only Nick could give her.
Then he kissed her. His tongue swept over her lips and then through them, scratching that itch at the same time it drove it deeper underneath her skin. Oh, how she’d dreamed of this moment, having Nick back in her arms. Whatever resolve she had left wilted under the direct heat of his kiss. He had come back for her, just like she’d wanted.
She threw her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers in his short hair as she kissed him back. The freedom of the choice unexpectedly took her desire from a dull ache to a searing pain—but a good pain, the kind that left a woman stronger on the other side. She crushed her body against Nick’s, trying to remember every sensation, every touch—just in case she had to wait another two years for the next time. He might leave her in the morning, or when his case was done, but she knew now that there would always be a next time. He would always come back to her.
Suddenly, with her implicit approval, Nick took the kiss deeper. The last two years fell away as his hands left their heated mark on her back, her hips, her bottom. Then he was pulling at the edge of her nightie, pulling it higher and higher.
As quickly as it had come on, her desire dropped off a high cliff. She untangled her hands from his hair and jerked her hem away from him. “Don’t.”
He pulled back in confusion, and she mentally kicked herself. The first thing she could come up with was “don’t”? How utterly lame. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe it was a really, really bad one.
“Why not?” Nick was all but panting, and she could feel the straining bulge below his belt buckle. Despite that, his tone was careful and hardly disappointed at all.
“Because—well—” She forced herself to take a deep breath and try again. “Because I’m not the same girl I used to be.” That girl had had a different body. She was embarrassed at how ashamed she was of her post-baby body. It was killing the mood.
A funny smile crossed Nick’s face, and the next thing Tanya knew, he’d swept her right off her feet and was carrying her to his truck. In seconds, he had set her down on the lowered tailgate. Then, with great deliberation, he stepped between her legs.
So maybe she hadn’t killed the mood—hadn’t even dented it, because that bulge below his buckle rubbed against her bare flesh and threw her right back into that needy place where only Nick had the answers. Then, his eyes locked on to hers, he lifted her nightie up and free of her. The shock of being completely naked before him in the back of a truck jolted Tanya even harder against that bulge. Even though his face didn’t change, she heard the low groan come from deep in his throat.
“The girl I used to know,” he began as his hands settled on her shoulders, “liked this.” He lifted her still-damp hair to one side and leaned down, tracing the tip of his tongue against the edge of her ear with the barest hint of pressure.
Tanya couldn’t have kept back the gasp that broke loose if she’d tried. All Nick had ever needed to do
was come up behind her and lick her ear. He hadn’t forgotten. He remembered her.
“The girl I used to know,” Nick went on, his voice so very low and warm in her ear, “liked this, too.” Then he scraped her lobe between his teeth—not hard enough to hurt, but just hard enough to make her entire body shudder against his.
“Yes,” she heard herself whisper. She’d loved that feeling of being devoured, of being so delicious and special. That hadn’t changed, not even a little bit. She wanted him to consume her. She ran her hands through his hair again, feeling how different the short was from the long of her memory. Right now, it didn’t feel like a personal attack on his heritage. In fact, it wasn’t getting in the way, but left her plenty to hold on to. Maybe she didn’t hate his new hair. She rubbed her cheek against it, feeling the ends tickle her skin. Maybe she liked it—hard to tell, though, what with Nick sucking on her ear and rubbing her shoulders and pressing that hard bulge against her. Hell, she did like it. She liked it all.
“The girl I used to know liked this, too.” Nick’s mouth moved down, where he nipped at the spot where her neck met her shoulder. Then his body was pushing her back until she had to brace herself with one hand so she didn’t tip over. Nick’s hot mouth closed around her left nipple, those teeth scraping along with the just-right amount of pressure to drive her wild. His other arm wrapped around her waist to hold her steady while he nibbled and licked and sucked on her breast like it was dinnertime and she was the main course.
“Yes, oh, yes,” she heard herself saying over and over. Nick switched to the other breast, but instead of continuing to hold her up, one of his hands caressed around the side of her waist and down her thigh. He lifted her leg up and wrapped it around his waist, which caused her other leg to do the same all by itself. When she had him firmly within her grasp, he leaned forward, driving that bulge against her opening center. “Oh!”
A Man of Distinction Page 8