The Tiger Within

by Amanda Anderson

  “You were very high spirited a moment ago with the animal, and now you are quivering in the face of the man. I must admit I am not sure how I feel about any of it”

  “I will admit that the animal frightens me less than the man.”

  He turned her in his arms. “Why are you frightened of me? I love you. I would give my life for you. You are my mate, made for me by God, as He made me for only you.”

  “Is that the truth? There will be no other once we are together?” She had always heard rumors that once a man married he would seek a mistress. Her parents were the exception to this rule.

  “There has been no other for some time now and never will again.”

  She was astonished. “You can’t possibly mean...”

  “I saw you at your father’s country estate, the day you were born. I held you in my arms and I knew that you were meant for me, your heart called out to mine in your first moments of life. Your father refused to allow me to be near you. I had to come to you in secret and only as the animal. He suspected of course, but he was powerless to stop me.” As he spoke he stroked his hands down her back. “Then three years ago your scent began to change. Being only fifteen, you were too young to deal with the stresses of the change its self. He asked me to stay away form you. I did not, but I no longer allowed you to see me. The fact that your mother is not of our kind makes it difficult to know what to expect from you. Your father had hoped that you were human and would not have to suffer the life of our kind. Your hair and eyes are different from any I have ever seen. Your scent was dormant until you reached your sixteenth year, another anomaly in you, and has grown in its intensity since. It is now very strong due to the proximity of your mate. Being that I am your mate I find it most alluring. This is why you must listen to me now. I need you to know everything. I cannot allow your ignorance to go on any longer.”

  “As you wish, My Laird,” she said and strode to her sitting area near the balcony. It wasn’t until she sat and looked in his direction that she realized he wore no clothes. She blushed crimson and averted her eyes.

  Chapter Eleven

  He strode to her and kneeled at her feet. “Please, Amelia, do not turn away from me. You must accustom yourself to the male form. Not only mine, but the men of the estate as well. We cannot always carry our garments with us, so there are times when it is easier to leave them at home. When we arrive at my,” he trailed off and then continued, “estate you will see many men and boys without clothing. There are few women, but they too will be seen from time to time. They will not see the need to hide themselves since your scent is of our kind.”

  “No girls? Are there no girl children?” Her mind was filled with questions.

  “Yes there are girl children. There are four that live on the estate. It is law that all female children of our kind must live inside the walls of the estate. They must be carefully guarded. They are always clothed and guarded discreetly, but carefully.”

  She felt apprehension well in her. “Why?”

  “That is what you must know that I am most uneager to explain.” He sighed and tried to gather his thoughts. “A female of our kind can only be awakened by her true mate. It usually begins around the age of sixteen. At that time the relationship between mates is not sexual. They simply begin to be aware of the need for the other. Over time the female’s scent becomes distinctly female. The males are drawn to her, even those who are not her mate. It is a pleasant aroma, but not so desirous that it cannot be denied. Her mate however, will find it increasingly more difficult to resist her. I began your awakening at the crush of the other evening. It began with our nearness and continues with my touch during our dance and increased again when I placed my scent upon your neck.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I awakened you further that night when I came to you here, in my other form. I tore your night dress from your body and I touched you. I encouraged you to touch me and allow me to rub against your bare flesh. You rubbed your body against mine and I scented your neck again.” He paused for her reaction.

  She narrowed her eyes and focused her accusing stare upon him. “Why can I not remember any of this?”

  “I forced your mind to block the memories. May I go on?” At her nod he continued, “After the female is awakened by her mate and her sexual maturity is complete, her mate must then mark her and take her to his bed before any other male can possess her. If he succeeds then she will be able to complete her change and produce children, with her true mate only. If her mate fails to find her and she is taken by another she becomes barren and unable to complete the change, ever. Most cannot stand the strain and take their own lives,” he sighed deeply and looked into her crystal blue eyes before he dropped them to his hands. “Our race is dwindling. We need women and children. We need new blood as well. You are an answered prayer. I have waited countless years for you.” He raised his hopeful eyes to hers.

  “Why do others wish to dishonor me then? Should they not be glad for us?”

  “Some wish to gain from my death, which will surely be forfeit if you are lost to us. My life would be worthless without you,” he said simply. “Others are of other races, such as wolf and lion and are our natural enemies. The one who attempted to take you last evening was a tiger and the one from today was lion. Both were thought to be friendly. The young tiger has been trusted by your family for years and at one time was believed, by your father, to be a possible mate for you. The lion was unexpected. He was thought to be an ally. No one suspected his intentions. He sought to mate you. Cross breeding does not occur with our people, but he believed it possible because of your mother. There are also wolves that hate all cats and will simply kill you.”

  She shivered. “Why have you not taken me then? It seems foolhardy to wait when so much depends on our union.”

  “I would prefer to wait until we arrive at my home. You will be safe in either form there. Your first change will be difficult for you and you will require a great deal of space to exercise your new found form. I have made arrangements to leave immediately, but I have been unable to convince your parents. It is too dangerous for you here.”

  “We shall leave as soon as it can be arranged. I do not care to wait around here to be ravished by an enemy or killed by a dog. May I suggest that you acquire a special license, my Laird? That would take care of the wait. I understand that I may be overstepping, but I would like to get this done as soon as possible.”

  He laughed. “My estates are in Scotland and there we may wed when we choose. There is a bit more. I will be honest. I want as many children as you are willing to provide. I want to see our race prosper again, but I will not do anything to jeopardize your health. I am most anxious to see our cubs though. I cannot help but wonder which one of us they will take after.” As he said it he lifted her hair to his mouth and kissed it.

  “What do you mean? Am I to be so different?”

  “Indeed, I believe your tiger will be white. I have never seen one of our kind with your coloring. Your father was certain of your humanity because of your hair. You appear almost other worldly, like your mother. Your father is like me, you know, orange and black. You, my love, will be a marvel. I am convinced that your amazing anomaly has protected you. I cannot figure your mother out, but it must some how come from her. Regardless, you are a jewel beyond measure.”

  “What if one of them does get to me before you are able to change me? What will become of me then? Will you simply leave me?”

  “I have more money than I could ever spend. I hold titles here in England as well. If that should occur I will simply step down as the leader of our people and we shall move to another estate and live out our lives happily together. My love for you transcends race. It will endure any hardship we may face.”

  “You would not seek another mate?”

  “Listen; there can never be any other mate for me. Only you forever. I will be unable to desire any other. I already am. I admit that I have not been without women in my life, but I will have only you
from now on.”

  “I see,” she said quietly. “You also mentioned your age. How old are you?”

  “I am fifty seven years old,” he smiled at her look of astonishment.” Do not fear that I will leave you a widow. I may live to be more than a hundred years old before I begin to visibly age, and many years after that. I was thirty-nine years old when you were born. I had lost all hope of finding my mate. Your mother knew before you were born, somehow. She allowed me to be present at your birth, even though your father was against it. I was the first person to hold you after the physician tended you. I cleaned you and placed you at your mother’s breast.”

  “So, you know my mother well. Have you known my father very long? Is my father very old?”

  “Yes, I have known him all my life. He was a trusted advisor to my father and a great warrior. He left us after he was jilted by a young changeling. He was in love with her, but she was not his mate. When she was mated to a stranger and unable to fight it, your father refused to accept such a cruel fate and left us. He found your mother and did the unthinkable by mating a human. He is eighty.”

  “Eighty? He looks no more than fifty. You scarcely look more than thirty.” She squinted her eyes and examined his face thoughtfully. “Will I live a very long time too?”

  “I do not know. I fear your mother’s blood may shorten your life, but so little is known about her uniqueness that no one can be certain. Her age is also a question to us. She still appears very young, but must be at least forty. I of course will never ask her age. I fear the repercussions.” He stated seriously.

  “I understand,” she said and tried to hide a smile.

  “All will be well. You will be revered and greatly loved.”

  “Or feared and scorned?”

  “No. You do not understand. I am the leader of our people. You will be liken to a queen. Your beauty will be unmatched and our children will be greatly desired.”

  “What should I do now?”

  He met her eyes. Desire swirled in his as he looked at her. “I would like nothing better than to feel your hands on my body again. Would you be interested in exploring the man as you explored the animal?”

  She blushed. “It is different with the man, I fear. I do not think I can be so bold.”

  “I would ask you to try. After all I have seen and touched you in both of my forms now. You have nothing to fear from me.”

  “But, Henry…” she trailed off as her stomach rumbled loudly.

  “Ah yes, perhaps you should be fed first. Tonight then?” He kissed her and rose to dress himself for the evening meal.

  Chapter Twelve

  Did he expect her to be able to eat after that? They walked downstairs and greeted her parents. He father was still concerned and he probed her mind. She notices the angry looks that passed between the two men.

  “What? Why do you glare at one another in such a way?” When no one answered she continued. “I insist you explain yourselves.”

  Her father glared at Henry. “He is refusing me access to your mind. He is determined that only he should be allowed to comfort you in this way.”

  She glared at Henry. “I will have you know, Laird Stewart, that no one will ever deny my father to comfort me. You will stop controlling my mind or I will shut you out permanently.” As she said it she closed her mind and saw both men wince. “I do not have to put up with it.”

  Her father turned astonished eyes on her. “How did you do this?”

  “I honestly do not know, Papa, but I am certain it will be most useful.” She turned and made her way to the dining hall.

  Henry exchanged worried looks with Richard and followed Amelia and her mother into the dining hall.

  Throughout the meal Amelia felt both men probing her mind. She finally grew too weary to block them and opened her mind again. She immediately noticed both men relax. Then she felt the familiar peace that her father instilled in her as well as the calm Henry gave her. She paused. There was another. It felt more demanding, but also familiar. There was now another mind reaching for her. She felt the overwhelming urge to eat her food. She looked around the room, but there was no one new. She knew it couldn’t be her mother for she lacked the talent. She continued to eat even though her stomach was full. She looked to Henry, seeking his help and he noticed her distress. He quickly pulled her weariness from her which allowed her the strength to close her mind again. She threw down her fork as if it had burned her.

  “My Love, are you well?”

  Amelia was shaking. “There is another. Who is it? Who was making me eat although I no longer feel hungry? I demand to know!”

  “Do not be troubled, my dear. It is your Mrs. Chambers. She once lived with my family. Her mate was killed around the time you were born. She wrote to me asking if she could be of service, and I employed her as your nurse and later your lady’s maid. I felt more comfortable with her protecting you.” He father explained.

  Amelia was astonished. “Can she change?”

  “Yes. She had not change though for many years, before the night you were attacked. She changed when she realized he carried a knife and meant to use it on me. She was hit instead. She is fully recovered now though. We heal very quickly.” He smiled at her shocked expression. “There was no way to know if you were of our kind or not. I wanted to be prepared.”

  “Well!” She threw up her hands. “I am going to bed.” When Henry started to rise she remembered the events that had taken place in her room. “You do not need to accompany me. You are not yet finished, my Laird.”

  “I am quite satisfied, my Lady. I will see you to your room.”

  “Of course.” She relented and heard her mother’s giggle. He looked exhausted. “Are you well, My Laird?”

  “Yes. I took your fatigue to allow you to block us. You were angry earlier when I did it for you, so I only helped you this time. I didn’t realize the extent of your exertion. It will take me a little while to recover.”

  She smiled. He had been considerate of her wishes. “Very well.”

  By the time they reached her door she was extremely unsettled. He allowed the emotions. He wanted her anticipation, but she was also exhausted and he wasn’t certain he could reassure her anyway.

  “Laird Stewart, about what was discussed earlier…”

  He stopped her words with his finger. “It is time, Amelia. I will not allow myself the pleasure of your body, but I would have you touch me. You do not have to touch all of me.” He said with an understanding look. “I will even leave on my trousers. Would that make it better for you?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” She visibly relaxed.

  He chuckled at her relief. “My lady, you unman me with your relief.”

  She was instantly repentant of her actions. “I beg your pardon, my Laird. I did not intend to insult your manhood…”

  “No, you simply do not wish to explore it.” At her look of extreme distress he took her chin and kissed her gently. “I am teasing you. I love you, Amelia. I know that your feelings for me are not as clear as mine are for you and I will remain patient. I also understand that you have never been this close to a man before. It is to be expected that you would have some misgivings. It is natural. I will not ask anything that you are not willing and eager to accept. That I do vow.”

  She was so relieved that tears leaked from her eyes to course down her cheeks. “Thank you, my Laird. I will admit that I have been afraid. I thought you might… demand things.”

  He simply took her in his arms and held her. “We have a very long time to take care of all of that. I admit, I would prefer to have it done tonight so the threat to you would decrease, but I want you to be ready. I want you to desire me as I do you.”

  “Oh,I do, but even that frightens me. The intensity of my feelings for you steals my breath away.”

  Hearing her words made pride swell in his chest. “You have made me very happy, Amelia. Would you now forgive me for our earlier squabble and call me Henry again?”

  Sh
e nodded and threw herself into his strong arms. “I love you, Henry!”

  He kissed her. This time it grew into passion quickly. They began to breathe heavily and when they began working to undress, he finally found his senses.

  “Stop, my Love. We cannot.”

  Henry stood before her wearing only his trousers. She looked down at the state of her own clothes and gasped. She stood in only her shift. The thin garment did little to conceal her aroused body. She reached to cover herself and Henry stayed her hands.

  “I have seen you already. There is no need to hide from me. I will not take advantage, but I would like to look at you,” at her gasp he went on, “just as you are.”

  “As you wish.” She stood before him and felt the heat of his gaze burning her body.

  “Touch me, Amelia. I beg you. If you will not have me in the flesh allow me to change so that I might feel your hands on my hide.”

  The anguish in his voice broke through her apprehension and she reached her hand out to him. The springy matt of dark hair tickled her palm as she ran her hand over the hard plains of his chest and felt the muscles ripple under her hands. She felt emboldened by his sighs and groans and became bolder. She led him to her bed and pushed him down upon it. She then ran her lips across his chest where her fingers had been. He arched to her. She was mesmerized by his warmth and the difference between their bodies. She ran her hand down his trouser clad thigh and back up. Before she could touch his manhood though, he grasped her hand.

  “No. I am not strong enough for you to touch all of me yet.” He sighed in frustration. “I need to change. I am afraid that if I remain as I am that I may take you in the night. I would like for you to watch me change. Do not worry. It is not painful. I want you to know what to expect. You will see it so often that you will soon think nothing of it. I am more alert in that form as well as stronger. I will be more able to protect you.”