Riding on Instinct

by Burton, Jaci

  The fact she was falling in love with him, and knew how fruitless those feelings were.

  But for now, he was here. In her room. He’d come to her.

  Did anything else matter?

  She allowed sleep to take her over.

  SIXTEEN

  SHADOE AWOKE ALONE IN HER ROOM. IT WAS LATE, AFTERNOON she’d guess. God, she was going to be so screwed up when this assignment was over. Staying up all night, sleeping all day. Bleh. Her time clock was messed up. She slid her palm along the side of the bed where Spence had slept, and felt a moment of melancholy sadness.

  Get over it. Soon enough your life will be like this again. Sleeping alone.

  When she got out of the shower her phone rang. It was Spence, saying AJ and Pax were at his room and she needed to come up. She dressed in a hurry and rode the elevator up one floor to Spence’s room, used her key to slide in, and closed the door behind her.

  Pax and AJ were having coffee and breakfast in the sitting area. Spence was pacing. Shadoe poured a cup from the room service cart and grabbed a roll to nibble on. “What’s up?”

  “Guess who visited DeLaud’s room last night?” Pax said.

  “Who?” she asked, sliding into one of the chairs.

  “Lance.”

  Her gaze shot to Spence. “Cheri’s husband? Why?”

  “Good question.” Spence frowned. “We’re trying to figure that out now.”

  “Maybe he’s buying drugs.”

  Spence shook his head. “He could do that from a lot of people, including the two guys you bought from yesterday, Pax.”

  Shadoe scrunched her nose. “You think Lance is DeLaud’s connection at the club?”

  Spence nodded. “It makes sense. We’ve suspected all along that DeLaud had a connection to the club, someone on the inside to help him make contacts in a legitimate location away from the docks.”

  Shadoe thought that made sense, too. “He’s pretty high up on the food chain there. Brandon told me Lance takes over for him as manager whenever he’s away or unavailable.”

  “So he would have keys, access to everything at the club,” AJ said.

  Shadoe nodded. “You know, Brandon offered me another bodyguard after Spence and I had our very public breakup last night.”

  “I’ll bet you think Lance would make a good bodyguard,” Pax said.

  “Why not? I’m already in with DeLaud. If I pick up Lance as a bodyguard and those two are thick as thieves, it’ll be perfect.”

  Spence frowned.

  “You’re right,” AJ said. “You’d be close to both of them.”

  Spence still hadn’t commented.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “I don’t like it. It’s too dangerous. What if the deal goes down and you’re right in the middle of it?”

  “Isn’t that what we want?” she argued.

  He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I guess so.”

  “You’ll all be there to protect me, Spence. And besides, I’m a trained agent. This is my job.”

  He nodded. “Yes, I try to remember that.”

  He looked as if he wanted to say something, then slid his gaze over to AJ and Pax, who watched him expectantly. He closed his mouth and walked through the bedroom and outside onto the balcony.

  “Dude, that was interesting,” AJ said.

  Pax shrugged. “Never seen it before.”

  Shadoe’s attention flitted between both of them. “What?”

  Pax stared at the balcony doorway, then brought his attention back to her. “He’s bugged.”

  “About?”

  “You,” AJ said.

  “Me?”

  “He cares about you.”

  She let her gaze drift down to her lap, to the cup of coffee balanced there. “Oh. Well, yeah.”

  “Yeah is right. He’s about as fucked up about it as I’ve ever seen him. The mission is primary to Spence. Always has been.”

  “Until now,” AJ said. “You’ve really messed him up.”

  Shadoe snapped an angry glare at AJ. “What the hell does that mean?”

  AJ’s eyes widened. “Hey, don’t get all female on me. I just meant you’ve messed him up in a good way. He needs someone to care about him.”

  “He has all of you guys.”

  Pax laughed. “Yeah, but we don’t fuck him.”

  Her face flamed hot, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “I sure hope not.”

  “Look,” AJ said, keeping his voice low. “This is screwing with his head. He feels something for you. He’s protective and concerned and he doesn’t know what to do with that. Normally he wouldn’t care if a fellow agent put herself in harm’s way. That’s the job, ya know?”

  “Yes. It is my job.”

  “But your job could get you killed. And he cares about you. As mission leader, he’s giving the okay for you to put yourself in danger. He’s conflicted.”

  “Whoa. You studying psychology in the bathroom, AJ?” Pax looked appalled.

  AJ snorted. “Yeah, I sneak in Advanced Psych textbooks under my Hustler magazine.”

  Shadoe shook her head. But what the guys had said gave her pause. She’d thought her feelings were one-sided.

  Maybe they weren’t. Which didn’t change things at all. When the mission was over, they were history.

  But maybe she wouldn’t be the only one upset about that. It gave her a little bit of comfort to know that Spence might actually care as much as she did.

  She stood and put her coffee cup on the table. “I’ll go talk to him.”

  Spence was leaning over the balcony, staring down onto the street. Shadoe came up next to him and laid her hand on his back. “I’m going to be fine. I know how to take care of myself.”

  He turned his head and smiled. “I’m sure you do.”

  “Do you know I’m trained to kill a man with my bare hands?”

  “I’m glad I haven’t pissed you off, then.”

  She laughed, leaned in, and kissed him. “I’ll have a weapon on me at all times. I’ll be fine.”

  “And we’ll have your back. I’ll be listening in via the transmitter attached to you. I get all that. But it doesn’t mean I won’t worry about you.”

  She didn’t want him worrying, but she liked that he cared that much. “Thanks.”

  He straightened and faced her. “I worry about everyone on my team. It’s my responsibility if something happens to you. I have to plot all this out so I can . . . minimize the potential for losses.”

  “I see.” Now he was trying to pretend she was just one of the guys, that he didn’t worry any more for her than he would for anyone else on his team. “Good to know I’ll have you as backup, then.”

  She didn’t want to push him, but she didn’t want him to pull away either.

  She didn’t think she was going to be able to have it both ways.

  After a long tactical conversation about the possibilities and restrictions of what Shadoe could and couldn’t do with both Lance and DeLaud, AJ and Pax left. Pax was off to see if he could follow up on the drug deal he’d made yesterday, and AJ to keep an eye on DeLaud. Spence decided to go with AJ to provide backup in case he needed it. Shadoe wanted to spend a few early hours at the club today to see what she could dig up from the girls. Spence said he’d stay wired to her in case anything went down he needed to be aware of.

  CHERI WAS ON THE STAGE WORKING ON HER MOVES. SHE SHOT Shadoe a dirty look. Shadoe didn’t bother to acknowledge her. Lance winked at her though, and she gave him a wide smile. Shadoe waved to Brandon, who was behind the bar helping the bartender unpack bottles of liquor. She went into the back room and found Star, sullen and quiet as usual, and Spitfire, talking Elan’s ear off while Elan sat patiently listening and smiling.

  “What’s up today, ladies?”

  Spitfire looked up, sniffed, and grinned. “We’re chattin’, darlin’. Come join us. Would you like some coffee? Or maybe a drink, though I think it’s too early to indulge but maybe not for you. Some people l
ike to start their cocktail hour sooner than others. Not me, though. Nuh-uh. I don’t drink alcohol. Straight soda or water for me. Anyway, I was tellin’ Elan about this great sale on shoes. I got me a new pair. See?”

  She lifted her foot to show off a pair of clear acrylic fuck-me shoes. Shadoe blinked, first at the rapid-fire conversation, then at the amazing six-inch heels. “Wow, those are cool.”

  “I think so, too. And they were half-price. I bought a pair in red patent leather, too. I need to get me a new act and I want to go all red to match my hair. Wouldn’t that just kick ass? I could so see me in a red leather G-string. Did I mention how much I love your black leather getup, Desi? Wow, the guys just drool over your costumes.”

  “Thanks.” Shadoe moved to her locker, watching Spitfire turn back to Elan, who must have the patience of a saint to sit and listen to Spitfire’s nonstop, all-over-the-place jabbering. And the way Spitfire constantly rubbed her nose, and the glassy-eyed look about her led Shadoe to believe that it wasn’t the redhead’s natural exuberance that made her chatty.

  Spitfire was on something. Cocaine or meth would be Shadoe’s guess. She wondered if Spitfire was involved with DeLaud or with Lance in any way. She’d have to keep her eye on the girl tonight, see if she engaged the two men at all.

  She visited with all of them for a while. Spitfire, of course, was the most talkative, but she was one of those people who talked nonstop without really saying much. It was hard to get her to focus. When Shadoe quizzed her about what she did on her off-time, she said she “partied,” then crashed, that she had lots of friends, rattled off a ton of names unrecognizable to Shadoe, so it wasn’t helpful at all. Shadoe couldn’t badger her, so she let it go.

  She hung out with Ariele for a while, who said she liked to spend a lot of her free time in dance class—or having sex with AJ and Pax. And that she didn’t want details about. Ariele didn’t seem to be a likely suspect, so Shadoe left the dressing room and went out into the club area, where Lance greeted her while he watched Cheri dance.

  “I hear you’re in need of a new bodyguard.”

  She smiled. “Yes, Spence and I broke up last night.”

  “I’m sorry. That’s rough.”

  “Nothing you have to worry about, though. It must be nice to be able to take care of your wife and work with her, too.”

  His smile died. “Uh-huh.”

  Hmm, maybe Lance and Cheri’s marriage wasn’t all paradise. Shadoe could play on that. “So are you offering your services as bodyguard?”

  “Well I’m here, I’ve got the time, and I’d be happy to look out for you. You’re pretty popular so you need someone to watch over you.”

  “Thanks.” She directed him over to a table. They went over hours and money and they came to a quick agreement. Cheri darted scathing looks in their direction every few seconds, but Brandon had walked to the front of the stage to talk to her when her dance ended, which prevented her from storming over and causing a scene. Good, since Shadoe didn’t want that. She needed to hook up with Lance as her bodyguard for tonight, then see what happened after that.

  “Is this going to be a problem?” she asked when they stood.

  “What?”

  “You being my bodyguard. Cheri doesn’t look happy.”

  He let out a short laugh. “You let me worry about Cheri.”

  “Works for me.” They shook hands and Shadoe went to find Ariele. They grabbed something to eat before the crowd started to arrive, then came back so Ariele could get ready for her first show since she went on much earlier than Shadoe.

  Which meant Shadoe could actually wander around for a while before she had to dance.

  When the doors opened at four P.M., people came in. Kind of early, and it wasn’t a heavy crowd, but apparently men and women both were thirsty and happy to get out of the sweltering heat and have a seat to watch the dancers.

  Shadoe sat at the bar and nursed a diet soda, visited with the bartender and Brandon, who remained back there to help since the second bartender wasn’t due to come in until seven.

  “So you hired Lance?” Brandon motioned with his head toward Lance, who had already taken position nearby, discreet but close enough to come to her aid if she needed him.

  “Yes. He offered and it’s convenient since he already works here. I hope that’s not a problem.”

  “Not at all. If it keeps our star dancer safe, I’m for it.”

  Brandon frowned when the door opened and sunshine spilled in along with a throng of new people. Shadoe swiveled in her seat and fought a smile.

  Spence came in with the group. She turned away to face the bar.

  “Why does he keep coming back in here if the two of you broke up?” Brandon asked.

  She shrugged. “Probably to piss me off, though I think he’s taken with Spitfire, too.”

  “Does that bother you? Because I’ll toss his ass out.”

  She laughed. “No, really, don’t. I don’t care what he does. I don’t feel anything for him anymore, so he can do whatever, or whoever, he wants.”

  “Okay, but if he causes trouble for you, he’s history.”

  “Thanks, Brandon.” She turned back around in her chair and gave Spence her best smug smile when he walked by. He arched a brow, said nothing, and grinned when Spitfire threw herself at him and kissed him.

  It was a good thing Shadoe figured Spitfire was a drug user and Spence was just trying to get information from her, or at least have a good reason to be here at the club. Otherwise she might care that the gorgeous redhead was rubbing her breasts all over her man’s chest.

  Her man. He wasn’t though, was he?

  She refused to think about it. It made her head—and her heart—hurt.

  Spence moved off to a table with Spitfire, and Shadoe forced her attention elsewhere. She studied some of the newer dancers’ acts since they went on early, then her gaze wandered to Lance, who nodded at her from his position against the pole near the bar. Cheri walked by, clearly irritated at her husband, since she lifted her chin as she strolled in front of him. Lance didn’t seem overly happy with his wife, either. Cheri stopped at the other end of the bar and crooked her finger at Brandon, who sighed and walked over to her, listening while she whispered in his ear. He frowned at whatever she said, shook his head, and started to walk away, but Cheri latched on to his wrist and held it, said something else. Apparently whatever she wanted was urgent—at least to Cheri—because there was fire and anger in her expression. But Brandon jerked his arm away, much to Cheri’s irritation. She pivoted and flounced away, this time not even glancing at Lance. Lance was looking at her, though, and he wasn’t happy, probably because she was causing shit with the club owner.

  Whoa. What drama. And what a diva. Guess Cheri wasn’t going to be happy with anyone tonight, was she? She really wanted to get the scoop from Brandon on what all that was about, but didn’t want Brandon to think she was digging up gossip.

  As the crowd thickened, she slid off the barstool and mingled, chatting up the guys at the tables. Lance did a good job following her around but maintaining a discreet distance. Shadoe couldn’t find Spence so didn’t know and tried not to care where he’d gone off to. AJ and Pax had slid in a few minutes earlier and taken a table in the corner with a good view of the entire club. She went over to say hello to them, but then Ariele came by and Shadoe moved off, so she didn’t get a chance to ask them if anything happened today. She’d have to do that later.

  She tingled with anticipation, as if something major was going to happen tonight. She had no idea what, and maybe it was because the wheels had been set in motion and she was right in the middle of it all. The atmosphere felt charged with energy.

  “I want to talk to you.”

  She turned at the sound of Spence’s voice, tinged with anger. His gaze flitted to Lance, who had started to make a move toward her. She held up her hand. “It’s okay, Lance.”

  She walked over to a corner, her arms crossed, her expression fierce. “What�
�s going on?”

  Spence kept his own anger as he bent and whispered. “Wanted to give you a heads-up. We followed DeLaud to the docks today. The ship is in.”

  She tried to keep the surprise off her face. “Did he meet with anyone?”

  “No. He just walked by, but nodded at the two guys he had breakfast with the other day. I expect the deal to go down tonight.”

  Instead of nodding, she shook her head as if they were arguing. “Do you think DeLaud will be in here?”

  “This is allegedly the place where he brokers his deals.” He grabbed her arms and she pushed him away. “Be careful.”

  “I will. You, too.” She turned and walked away. Lance came to her side.

  “You all right?”

  “Yeah. Just a little argument about money he thinks I owe him.”

  Lance cast a glare at Spence over his shoulder. “Want me to take care of him?”

  “No. He’s all talk.”

  Lance stopped, turned to face her. “If you need my help, I’m here for you.”

  “Thanks, Lance, I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be fine, really. I can handle Spence. We’ve fought on and off for years. I should have just broken it off before I came to the Wild Rose, but I didn’t want to come alone. Stupid, really. Now I’m embarrassed he’s causing this shit with me here at the club.”

  She sniffled and Lance put his arm around her. “It’s okay. You’re not alone now.”

  He caressed her back, then let his hand drift lower. She allowed it, mainly because Cheri came out right then, spotted them, and walked by as if she didn’t care.

  Shadoe pulled away then. “I need to go get ready. Thanks, Lance.”

  He looked at her like she was water and he was dying of thirst. “Anytime.”

  She went through the doorway toward the dressing room and blew out a breath. Wow. For a couple supposedly married and in love, Lance and Cheri didn’t seem to be very happy together. Maybe Cheri’s ambitions were getting to be too much for Lance. And then again, maybe Lance’s attention was focused elsewhere.