Mari’s and Skinner’s scowls intensify.
‘Hey, let’s not turn on each other,’ I say. ‘We’re trying to find out if this guy has the wallet. Let’s not point guns at each other, shall we?’
‘Of course he fucking took the wallet!’ Mari swings her gun back to Calvin.
Calvin – with an expression hinting at an imminent heart attack – says, ‘OK. Enough. I threw it on the freeway.’
‘What the fuck!’ Jaxson yells at Calvin.
‘Uh uh!’ Mari says. ‘You’d better get your ass over to that freeway and find that, bitch.’ She moves her handgun up and down Calvin’s face. ‘Look, motherfucker, you fucked up my meal. You’d better find Acid Joey’s wallet and bring it back or there’s a lotta people you’re gonna have to answer to – including me!’ Panting furiously, she circles his face with the gun – forehead, temples, chin – as if deciding where to shoot him.
Skinner puts his gun behind Calvin’s ear.
‘How can you consider yourself Joey’s friend if you could just walk in his fucking house and take his shit?’ Mari asks.
‘I don’t know. I’m so sorry,’ Calvin says, crying.
‘You have no idea how sorry you’re gonna be if you don’t find that fucking wallet!’ Mari yells.
Assuming Calvin will never find it, I put him on a repayment programme. He pays the debt in full.
Chapter 36
‘I’m gonna introduce you to someone you’re gonna fall in love with,’ says Salt, a Chinese striptease dancer I’m cuddling at a rave in the Icehouse, a large warehouse in downtown Phoenix.
‘Who?’ I ask.
‘My friend Amy. She lives in Tucson. I’ll bring her to the Icehouse next week.’
‘What’s she like?’
‘She’s a U of A student. Looks like Denise Richards—’
‘Ooh, Wild Things.’
‘Yeah. She’s intelligent, and she’s got a perfect butt.’
‘OK, enough, enough. You’ve got me all excited.’
The next weekend, I exit the Icehouse for fresh air and eavesdrop on a conversation between Fish and what looks like a Texas beauty queen turned glitter girl. She’s wearing a blue silk top with spaghetti straps and dark-blue tight trousers, spandex at the top, boot cut at the bottom, her hair curled and pinned above a face adorned with sparkly make-up. Fanning out from big, green, dreamy eyes, her fake eyelashes flutter invitingly. The sight of her raises my blood pressure.
‘I can’t feel this X,’ she says. ‘I got sold bunk shit!’
‘How long ago did you take it?’ Fish asks.
‘Over an hour.’
‘It should have worked by now. Who did you get it from?’
‘It’s a cap of pure MDMA from English Shaun.’
Waiting to enter the conversation at the perfect moment and about to laugh, I bite down. I ponder how to win her over.
‘English Shaun actually sold it to you, did he?’ Fish asks.
‘No, but the guy I got it off told me it was from English Shaun.’
Fish laughs and I join in.
She turns towards me, frowning. ‘What’s so funny?’
‘Hello,’ I say, smiling. ‘I’m English Shaun.’
She puts her hands on her hips. ‘Well, thanks a lot for selling bunk shit!’
Taken aback, I say, ‘I’m sorry you got ripped off, but if we’ve never met before, how can I possibly have sold you bunk shit? My friends are only selling Mitsubishis tonight. We keep the pure MDMA for our after-parties.’
‘But the guy said he got it off you! He swore it was from English Shaun, blah, blah, blah.’
‘That’s his sales pitch. Did you see him get it off me?’
‘Well, no,’ she says, calming down.
‘You’re lucky he didn’t put PCP in it and mess you up, which is what happened to a bunch of my friends recently.’
‘What am I supposed to do now?’
‘Have a Mitsu on me,’ I say, handing her a pill.
‘I take a lot of X. Is one going to be enough?’
‘You’re delightfully hardcore. I guess I’d best give you two, then.’
Salt joins us. ‘Amy, I’ve been looking all over for you.’
‘No way!’ I say. ‘This is the famous Amy?’
‘You’d better believe it!’ Salt says.
‘Amy, do you mind if I ask you something personal?’ I say.
‘Ask away.’
‘Is it true that you have the perfect butt?’
‘Salt!’ Amy yelps.
‘Amy, don’t act shy,’ Salt says. ‘Anyway, our ride wants to go back to Tucson.’
‘I want to stay,’ Amy says.
‘How’re you gonna get home?’ Salt asks.
‘I’ll run her home,’ I say, winking at Salt.
‘Fine by me.’ Amy turns to Salt for approval.
‘You’ll be safe in Shaun’s hands. I’m outta here.’ Salt hugs and kisses Amy. The sight of their tongues intertwining stirs up a feeling in my loins.
‘So, what do you do at the U of A anyway?’ I ask.
‘Chemical engineering.’
‘Does that mean you have the knowledge to manufacture illegal drugs?’
‘Not yet. But I’ll sure find out.’
‘You might come in handy,’ I say, high on her smile.
We sit on the curb, chatting at length, ignoring the party. My dealers emerge to talk shop. I get rid of them fast, giving her my full attention, hoping she’ll want to see me again. When the rave ends, we set off for Tucson.
Cruising along the freeway in the RX7, I say, ‘I love the blood-red sky at this time of the morning.’
‘Have you seen it when the mountains look like they’re on fire when the sun’s rising behind them?’ Amy says. ‘It’s so beautiful.’
‘Where you from originally?’ I ask. ‘Have you always lived in the desert?’
‘It’s kind of like a strange story, you know. Do you mean where I was born or where, like, my family’s from?’
‘Both.’
‘I was born in Saudi Arabia.’
‘What?’
‘My parents were teachers at an American international school overseas, and we lived in Saudi Arabia and Kwajalein—’
‘Where the bloody hell’s Kwajalein?’
‘The Marshall Islands. They’re literally a couple of dots in the South Pacific. Then after that we lived in Côte d’Ivoire.’
‘You’re truly an international person,’ I reply, impressed.
She giggles proudly.
‘How come you came back to America?’ I ask.
‘I guess ’cause my parents decided to move back here … and … er … they got a divorce, and I’m still indefinitely stuck here.’ Amy pouts, distracting my gaze from the road, tempting me to kiss her. She directs me to her mother’s home, a mansion on a hilltop.
‘I guess it’s time to say goodnight, then?’ I say, sad to part ways.
‘Yes, English Shaun. Thanks for the great X. I’m still rolling.’ She squares her face to mine and challenges me with her eyes.
Kiss her! Get stuck in! What you waiting for?
I lean forward.
She doesn’t flinch.
I look at her lips and eyes.
She looks at mine.
I smile. Tilt my head. Open my mouth.
She puts her tongue in.
I tingle all over.
I drive to Phoenix singing in my seat.
At the next rave, I introduce Amy to my inner circle. ‘Here’s Sallywack. They call her Turbo Dyke.’ I hug Sally.
‘I like girls, too,’ Amy says.
‘I noticed,’ I say.
‘Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,’ Sallywack says, running her eyes over Amy.
Amy giggles. They French kiss. Partiers stop to watch. They chatter for a bit.
Later, Sallywack takes me aside. ‘Shaun, this bitch is fucking fake.’
Jealousy. ‘Sallywack, all creatures must flourish in our garden. There’s good and
bad in everyone, and I try to concentrate on the good.’
‘I bet I can fuck her before you can.’
‘Now, now, Sallywack, be nice. Amy’s come all the way from Tucson to see me.’
In an outdoor area, alone with Amy, I say, ‘You kissing Sallywack was so sexy. How long have you been into girls?’
‘Oh, gosh, OK, er … it’s, well, actually only one girl so far. Her name’s Lisa.’
‘How did that come about?’ I ask.
‘She’s a dancer at Starbutts. Oh, by the way, I also dance at Starbutts. I decided to work there ’cause I went there and fell in love with Lisa from the moment I saw her. So, I literally became a stripper just so I could spend time with her.’
‘Wow! You’re a real go-getter. And you guys, like, got together?’ I ask, hoping for details.
‘One thing led to another. She ended up giving me X and taking advantage of me while her boyfriend was out of town doing a porn shoot.’
‘One thing led to another. What do you mean by that?’
‘She had one of those silver-bullet vibrator things. I’m up for trying anything …’
Laughing, I feel my erection press against my jeans.
I whisk Amy off to an after-party. I leave her alone while I collect money from my dealers, but when I return she’s sitting on the carpet surrounded by admirers, one massaging her neck. Jesus! Where’d they all come from? I only let her out of my sight for a few minutes. I sit next to Amy. To get rid of the masseur, I pick her up and drop her on my lap. Hours later, boisterous on GHB, I hug my friends goodbye, throw Amy over my shoulder and head for the door.
‘No, don’t go!’ Sallywack yells.
‘We’re getting a room at the Mesa Hilton,’ I say.
Sallywack yells, ‘Amy, you don’t know what you’re getting into!’
Amy’s cackle confirms that she likes getting abducted by a wild Englishman.
In a room, we drink GHB. Semi-conscious, we wobble removing each other’s clothes. Admiring her rear, I decide to leave the lights on. I pick her up and throw her on the bed. When she stops bouncing, I kiss her all over, impassioned by her shrieks and groans. Although it’s all I can think about, I postpone getting on top of her until she demands it. High on GHB, we kiss forcefully, frantically, but keep passing out during sex and having to wake each other up. Heavenly chaos. Hours later, relaxing in bed, Amy reveals she did lesbian Internet porn with her girlfriend Lisa, who played a striptease dancer in a recent Hollywood hit comedy.
Driving Amy home, I jokingly say, ‘Why don’t we fly to Vegas and get married next weekend?’
‘I’d love to go to Vegas! You’d really take me there?’
‘Of course,’ I say, smiling.
‘Wow. I’ve never been. I really want to see the Siegfried & Roy show.’
‘How come?’
‘Because I love the tigers, and it’s just so incredible. My mom always told me to see it. Where will we stay up there?’
‘How about the Luxor? I really like the pyramid.’
‘That’s perfect. I love Egypt ’cause it’s so close to Saudi.’
After we sober up, we decide against getting married but still go to Vegas.
I’m collecting drug cash from DJ Spinelli at his house in Phoenix.
‘You should try Viagra,’ he says, his big friendly eyes beaming encouragement.
‘I’m horny enough.’
‘Just try a piece of a pill. If you don’t need it, it’ll turn you into a porn star.’
‘Like how?’
‘It keeps my dick hard for days. It’s completely transformed my sex life.’
‘I’m getting hard just fine, and GHB postpones my orgasms anyway.’
‘You don’t understand. This will turn you into a fucking porn star! You’ll have the hardest dick you’ve ever had in your life.’
‘A porn star,’ I say, visualising what I can get up to.
‘Yeah. And if you take this, you’d better have a woman who can last a good day or two. It’s a shame to waste such a precious erection.’
‘OK. You’ve got me sold. Break me a piece off right now.’
‘Here you go. These things are golden. I can’t give you any more anyway. I need them for myself,’ he says, hiding his stash of diamond-shaped blue pills.
While I’m driving home, the fabric at the crotch of my trousers starts to rise towards the steering wheel. I push my penis down, but it just springs up. I think of something that had always worked in high school – the square of the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides – but the words of Pythagoras have no effect. If anything, my penis hardens.
I call DJ Spinelli. ‘You’re right. I’ve never had a boner like this before. As we speak, it’s helping me steer the Pathfinder.’
‘This is just the beginning. Wait till you put it to some good use. Your sex life will never be the same.’
Not wanting the erection to go to waste, I rent a room at the Pointe Hotel and invite Amy over. After having an orgasm, I’m surprised that my penis stays hard. Desperate to urinate, I can’t figure how to aim my penis towards the toilet. In the end, I lean against the wall at a 45° angle and push it down.
Chapter 37
Our regular after-party spot is a jacuzzi villa at the Scottsdale Hilton, with a massive central room where I station DJs Keoki and Hotwheelz with turntables, and a well-polished kitchen for cooking up ketamine. Each side of the villa has bedrooms and bathrooms. There is a jacuzzi on the balcony and a jacuzzi bathtub adjacent to the master bedroom. After closing the blinds, we take the paintings down and serve drugs on them.
In the master bedroom, a group of us are naked. Amy starts riding me. Sallywack, Alice and Lexi are kissing and licking each other.
‘I wanna go down on Amy,’ Sallywack says.
‘You are the best at that.’ Amy dismounts for Sallywack.
‘Anyone who wants to learn anything about oral sex just needs to watch Sallywack,’ Amy says. While Lexi goes down on Alice, Amy gasps and moans and slithers, her eyes rolling around.
‘My turn on Amy,’ Alice says, nudging Sallywack.
Alice goes down on Amy, Sallywack on me, while Lexi plays with Sallywack. Lexi switches with Alice, so Alice is playing with Sallywack, and Lexi goes down on Amy.
‘Raise your ass, Lexi,’ Sallywack says.
My brain tries to absorb what’s happening in the room. My eyes can’t believe what I’m seeing – until a harsh knock on the door disrupts everything.
‘Keoki’s locked in his bathroom!’ Acid Joey says. ‘He’s not responding to anyone! We’ve got to break the door down to see if he’s alive!’
‘Let Keoki fucking die!’ Sallywack says.
‘Oh, no. Someone has to check on him,’ Amy says.
‘You’re right. We’d better go check,’ I say, devastated to leave my present company.
In the main room, Jaxson says, ‘Keoki must have OD’d. We’re gonna have to push the door in.’
‘Fuck it. Do it,’ I say, following him into Keoki’s room.
Acid Joey and Jaxson shoulder-barge the door open. Keoki is in an empty tub, his face drained of blood as if a vampire has sucked him dry.
‘Check his pulse,’ I say.
Lucas grabs Keoki’s wrist. ‘It feels irregular, but he’s alive.’
‘All our pulses are probably irregular,’ I say.
‘Let’s get him onto the bed,’ Jaxson says.
We gather up Keoki and put him on the bed next to his bodyguard, Leon, who is snoring.
‘They’ve both snorted way too much Zek,’ Skinner says, referring to our cocktail of choice: Xanax, Ecstasy and ketamine.
‘He’s breathing OK,’ I say. ‘He’ll come around. I’ve got an idea. Let’s go to Walgreens, buy loads of candles, so when he wakes up it’ll be dark and there’ll be candles everywhere, and he’ll think he’s died and passed on to some other world.’
To block out the sunlight, we put
bed sheets over the windows. Candles are flickering all over the place. By the time Keoki revives, we have converted the villa into a dark, candlelit cathedral. He emerges from his room to us all sitting around in a circle. ‘Where … am … I? How … did I … get here?’ His usually strong voice is feeble. Our laughter wipes the concern off his face. ‘Oh … shit! Where’s the Zek at? No … no … I mean, a line of speed?’
‘The glass is in the freezer,’ I say.
‘I’ll get it.’ Hotwheelz goes to the kitchen and brings an ounce of super-strength crystal meth on a plate. ‘Whose is that fucking sub-machine gun in the fridge?’
‘Security’s,’ I say. ‘They stay well-armed. Skinner has a raver friend who knows a soldier who steals them from the military. I think you’d suit an Uzi or an MP5, Mike. We got Grady one, and he sprayed his living-room wall with it by accident and shot a piece of his finger off. There’s holes right through his house, and the police didn’t even come out.’
‘We don’t have guns in our scene in LA. We don’t have sketchy motherfuckers like you lot running around packing heat.’
‘Most guns are legal in Arizona, but not these ones,’ I say. ‘I’m an illegal alien, yet they gave me a concealed-weapons permit, and the classes I went to are taught by Glendale police. God bless America. Skinner’s even got himself one of those Gatling machine guns on a tripod. Proper World War II movie shit. You should see it.’
A line of glass revives Keoki. ‘Ladies, I’ve got some clothes to give away. Here’s a see-through nightie,’ he says, rummaging in his luggage. He doles out all sorts of fluffy attire.
Amy is delighted with a short white see-through robe with long sleeves and feathers running around the hem. ‘Thank you, Keoki. I was feeling rather naked.’ Amy puts the robe on and twirls around to show it off.
Keoki puts make-up on a male raver. ‘I love the candle effect.’ He hums a long Ommmm … like a Hindu, and the rest of us chant like Gregorian monks. Propped up by meth, he spins records and the party resumes. Some skinny-dip in the jacuzzi on the balcony. Glitter girls dance naked or in body paint. Every now and then someone bicycles or skates around the room. In the bedrooms are games involving sex toys, spanking and candle wax.
A loud knock on the front door panics everyone into thinking that the cops have arrived. ‘Let me handle this,’ I say, dashing to the door. Through the peephole, I see a pizza-delivery man holding a box. ‘Who the fuck ordered pizza?’ I yell, ready to send the culprit home.
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