Faking It

by Dorie Graham

  “Oh, yeah. And he’s been having difficulties for the past six months or so, but he hasn’t breathed a word to the rest of his family. He figures they’ve had enough grief.”

  “Oh, my God. This is going to devastate them.”

  “No shit. He’s not going to have much choice now.”

  “About what?”

  “About whether or not to have the same surgery that killed his sister.”

  Fear welled up inside Erin. “We don’t know that’ll happen. There’s no use in panicking until we know what’s happening. This might not even be a heart attack.”

  “Well, I’m going to call his mother. I’ve met her a few times. Better the news come from me than a stranger.”

  A stranger. Erin stood rooted to the driveway as Amanda headed back into Jack’s condo. That’s what she was. She’d hardly known Jack for a week and so much had happened in that time. It had been one hot, intense, out-of-control week, and now this. He had a whole life history that she knew nothing about. He’d been sick way before he met her.

  What if sleeping with her had worsened his condition—had brought on a heart attack?

  With a heavy heart she dragged herself inside to retrieve her things. Amanda spoke soothingly into the phone. Erin turned from her, her gut clenched.

  Where were her keys? She had to get to the hospital. She might be a stranger to his family, but she was no stranger to Jack. And she had to be there for him, no matter what.

  ALL HOSPITALS HAD THAT sterile, cold feeling. No amount of bright colors or homey curtains could change that. Erin hugged her arms to her chest and waited patiently while a man and woman spoke to the attendant behind the counter at the emergency check-in.

  Fiberglass chairs hugged the walls and sat in joined rows inside the waiting area surrounded by mauve-colored walls. Half a dozen people or more sat in small groupings, murmuring in soft conversations. One young boy cried and a dark-haired woman comforted him.

  The couple moved off, clipboard in hand, and Erin stepped up to the window. “Hi. A friend of mine was just brought in by ambulance. Would it be possible for me to see him?”

  “What’s your friend’s name?”

  “Jack Langston.”

  The woman flipped through some pages on a clipboard. “I don’t have him. Let me see if he’s been entered into the system yet.”

  “Thank you.”

  Amanda arrived, moving beside her at the counter. “How is he?”

  “She’s checking to see if he’s in the system.”

  The woman turned from her computer screen. “I’m sorry. He hasn’t been entered yet. Let me call over and make sure he’s here.”

  “Thank you.” Erin turned to Amanda. “You spoke with his mother?”

  “They’re on the way.”

  Erin nodded, feeling bereft. She didn’t even know who “they” were.

  The attendant hung up the phone and turned to them. “Jack Langston has just been admitted. The doctor is looking at him now. It’s going to be a little while. You might as well have a seat.”

  “Okay, should we just check back here?” Erin asked. “He has family on the way.”

  “After the doctor looks at him, he’ll tell the family members what his condition is, but he can’t release any specific information.”

  Amanda smirked. “HIPPA regulations.”

  “Exactly. We can’t tell you anything unless Mr. Langston signs a paper saying we can. You ladies can wait if you’d like.”

  “Thank you.”

  They moved off to two chairs in a corner of the waiting area. Amanda held her purse in her lap. “I was afraid something like this was going to happen. I just hoped it wouldn’t.”

  “How long have you known Jack?”

  “About five years. We met on the beach.” She shook her head. “You don’t have to worry. We’ve never been anything but friends.”

  “So what else don’t I know about him?” Erin asked.

  “Let’s see…. He’s a great cook. Did you know that?”

  “Yes. He made meat loaf.” She cleared her throat. “I guess we never actually ate it, though. But it smelled heavenly.”

  “He was pretty young when his father died. He became man of the house then. He took over pretty much everything, not just the cooking. I don’t know how his family would have made it without him. They still struggle to manage. He’s been trying to wean them, but I’m not sure how that’s going. Jack has a hard time letting people down, even if it’s in his best interest.”

  “He never mentioned any of that. He told me he got tired of eating out. He never really told me much about his family, other than that they were important to him.”

  “They are. He visits fairly often. His mother still lives in the house he grew up in. Her sister lives with her. It’s a big house. The two of them rattle around in it. I visited with Jack over the holidays last year. His brother Bobby lives nearby. He keeps a closer watch, but he reports everything to Jack.”

  “They sound like wonderful people.” Erin paused, then asked, “Why do you think he didn’t tell me about his heart condition?”

  “I don’t think he’s told anyone but me. We power walk the beach together. It became apparent that he was having trouble. He didn’t want his family to know for obvious reasons. He said they’d just worry, and since there wasn’t anything they could do, he didn’t want to burden them.”

  “I understand that, but I wish he’d confided in me. I know I haven’t known him for very long, but I thought we were closer.” She had certainly felt closer to Jack than she’d ever felt to anyone else.

  “Oh, he’s nuts about you, let me assure you. I saw him the other day after you’d dumped him. He was a mess. I’ve never seen him so distraught.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Erin, look, I’m not sure what made you go to see him today and I know you care about him and he cares about you, but I think the best thing you can do for Jack is to stay away from him.”

  “Oh.” Erin straightened. “I was kind of thinking the same thing myself, but why do you think so?”

  “I don’t know that you’re what he needs right now. We’re not even going to contemplate his not making it. Once he gets over this, he’s going to need lots of rest and relaxation. I get the idea the two of you haven’t exactly been relaxing.”

  Warmth filled Erin’s cheeks. “We have a very strong chemistry between us. We both tend to get a little…out of control.”

  “There you go. Well, I’m guessing he’s not going to be up to any of that for a while. That and I don’t know what you did to him, but he has been sick as a dog since he met you. It isn’t what I thought would happen at all.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Amanda’s eyes widened. “I mean, I figured when he met someone new it would energize him. You know, give him a new outlook.”

  “So he was better before we met?”

  “He had the heart stuff—tightening in his chest, fatigue, occasional dizziness—but none of that other stomach stuff he’s had going on.”

  “I was afraid of that.”

  “Amanda.” A pretty woman with Jack’s coloring rushed up to them, followed by another woman and a young man. “How is he? Can we see him?”

  Amanda rose and Erin followed suit, while Amanda made the introductions. “Grace Langston, this is Erin McClellan, another friend of Jack’s. She’s the one who found him. The doctor is with him now. Hopefully we’ll know something soon.”

  “But what happened?” Grace asked. “We saw him Saturday night and he seemed fine.”

  Amanda took her hand. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to find out like this. He hasn’t been well for a while. He didn’t want to worry you. That’s why he didn’t tell you.”

  “So he’s seen a cardiologist and it’s a congenital defect?” Grace asked.

  “He said that it’s the same as with his father and sister.”

  “And his grandfather,” the second woman added.

  G
race closed her eyes. “My poor Jack. He should have told us. What did his doctor say? Did he recommend surgery?”

  “He did, but after what happened with Stacey, Jack was looking into alternative treatments,” Amanda explained.

  “What kind of alternative treatments?” Grace asked. “You can’t treat something like that with herbs and diet.”

  “No, but he was looking at different types of energy work.” Amanda’s gaze flickered over Erin. “Like reiki and acupuncture.”

  A feeling of foreboding settled over Erin. Good God, what was Amanda saying? Surely Jack hadn’t known about her family when he’d walked into her shop that day?

  “For Pete’s sake.” Grace seemed almost ready to collapse.

  Amanda motioned to the chairs. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

  Jack’s mother extended her hand to Erin. “Please call me Grace, both of you girls. Erin, this is my sister, Rose, and my son, Bobby.”

  Erin shook hands with Rose and Bobby, who looked like a younger version of Jack. Bobby smiled. “You’re the one redoing his place, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. We signed a contract just last week.” Last week. It seemed an eternity ago.

  Grace cocked her head. “Oh, yes, the girl he mentioned at dinner. You must be very special to him, dear. Jack never mentions his girlfriends.”

  “Why don’t we all sit down?” Rose suggested. “Bobby, maybe you can find us some coffee or something. Don’t all hospitals have cafeterias or those little vending machines?”

  “I’m on it, Aunt Rose. What can I get for everybody?”

  Rose and Amanda gave their orders, while Grace and Erin declined. Then Amanda left with Bobby to find the coffee. Grace turned to Erin. “So how long have you known my son?”

  “About a little over a week, though it seems much longer.”

  “Just like you and Stan,” Rose said to Grace. “The two of them had a whirlwind courtship. They were married within a month after meeting each other. I thought they were insane. Told them it would never work.”

  Grace smiled a sad, tired smile. “Well, she was wrong. I was all of twenty when we married and we were together for fourteen glorious years. I’ve no doubt we’d be married still if Stan was with us.”

  Grace’s pain drew Erin and she reached for her, placing her hand on the older woman’s. “He’s going to be all right.”

  Jack’s mother nodded. “We have to believe that, don’t we?”

  “Yes. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Whatever happens, please don’t be upset with Jack for not telling you.”

  “Oh, of course not. He was trying to take care of me, just like he always has.” Her gaze warmed and she placed her other hand on top of Erin’s. “I’m not sure what you are to him, but I have a wonderful feeling about you. I’m so glad you’re in his life and you can be here for him right now.”

  “To be honest, I’m not sure what I am to him either, but I promised him while we were waiting for the ambulance that I’m not going anywhere,” Erin said.

  The doors that led to the care units swung open and a nurse called the name Langston. Erin waved her over. The nurse stopped in front of them. “Are you Jack Langston’s family?”

  “I’m his mother and this is his aunt and this young lady is a very good friend of his. How is my son?”

  “He’s stable, but we’re keeping him for observation. You can see him two at a time. I’ll take you back.”

  “You two go,” Erin said to Grace and Rose. “I can wait.”

  Grace nodded and gave her hand one last squeeze before she stood to follow the nurse.

  13

  THE DOOR TO THE HOSPITAL room scraped and Jack opened his eyes. His mother and aunt moved beside his bed. He smiled and tried to sit up but got tangled in the IV and wires connected to his chest. “There are my two favorite sweethearts.”

  His mother sank into the chair beside the bed. She smoothed his hair from his forehead. “Look at you, all plugged in.”

  “Doctors. They have to run all their tests. How are you doing?”

  Her eyes widened. “Do you hear that, Rose? He asks how am I doing? You’re always looking after me, aren’t you, Jack? I’m hanging in here, dear. The question is how are you?”

  “Tired. Having people wait on you isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

  Rose leaned on the bed rail. “We understand why you didn’t tell us you were having trouble, but what did the doctor say?”

  He blew out a slow breath. God, he was exhausted. “Seems I had just a very small…minor…heart attack, but I’m okay for now.”

  “For now.” Grace exchanged a worried look with her sister. “And what about surgery, Jack? Did you talk to the doctor about that?”

  “The E.R. doctor actually got my regular cardiologist on the phone. The two of them talked. Dr. Carmichael had already recommended that I have the surgery months ago. I’m going to stay here overnight for observation, then he’s going to work me in tomorrow so we can talk about options.”

  “What options? You have to have the surgery,” Grace said.

  He gave her hand a squeeze. “Don’t worry, Mom. I promise I’ll take care of this. I see the surgery as a last resort.”

  “Sweetie, what happened to Stacey doesn’t have to happen to you. That was a fluke, a bad reaction to the anesthesia or something. Who knows? They do valve repairs all the time. Every surgery has its risks, but in this day and age the odds are in your favor.”

  He fisted his hands at the worry in their eyes. How could he have let them down like this? “I do understand that. I just want to make sure that I’ve exhausted all alternatives before I let them cut me open.”

  “What alternatives? What is this about you looking into—what was it?” Grace asked Rose.

  “Energy work. Acupuncture.”

  “Acupuncture. Thank you. How is that supposed to help? What did you do? Did you let some quack doctor stick needles in your chest?”

  “He stuck them all over my body, actually. Very strange experience, not nearly as bad as I anticipated. The needles are really sharp. You can barely feel them.”

  “Jack, that’s nonsense. You can’t be serious about any of that,” his mother said.

  “Amanda’s been telling you a little too much.” A sense of unease gripped him. “Where’s Erin? Did she come?”

  “She’s in the waiting room. She’s a wonderful girl, Jack. She’s very worried about you. Surely she doesn’t support you in this quest for…alternative treatments.”

  “She didn’t know I was defective.”

  Rose patted his leg. “You’re not defective, pet. Your valve’s defective. That’s not quite the same.”

  “Thank you, Aunt Rose.”

  “Bobby and Amanda are both here, too, but the nurse said you could only see two of us at a time.”

  “I would really like to see Erin, if you two don’t mind.”

  “Not at all.” His mother leaned over him and kissed his forehead. “I love you, my big, sweet boy. You get yourself better. Please call me later and let me know how you’re doing.”

  “I will. ’Bye, Aunt Rose. Don’t forget to send Erin back.”

  He closed his eyes again as they left, the weariness taking him. He could sleep for a week after this. Then maybe he’d wake up to find it had all been a bad dream and he was as healthy and hearty as ever. All a dream except the part about Erin, of course.

  “Jack?” Her soft voice drifted to him as if from the dream.

  He opened his eyes, his lids seeming to weigh two tons each. Erin stood beside his bed, her face drawn with worry, her green eyes watery. He reached for her and pulled her toward him, but the damn bed rail got in the way. He let go of her to wrestle with the thing and she helped him to lower it.

  Then she sat beside him. “Oh, Jack, you scared the hell out of me. Your mom said that you had a heart attack.”

  “Just a teeny-tiny one.” He pinched his fingers together to show her. If this was how he felt after a mino
r heart attack, what would happen when the real thing came along?

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He took her hand, savoring the warmth that flowed into him. “You really do have magic, you know. I can feel it now. Your touch is golden.”

  “What if my touch put you here?” Tears glistened on her cheeks.

  “Oh, baby, is that what you think?” He moved his arm to hold her, but his IV got in the way again. “If anything, you probably kept this from happening sooner.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Erin, listen, I understand how you feel, but you have to understand that I don’t care if being with you made me a little queasy afterward. It was well worth it. It always passed, and I swear to you when the nausea was over I felt energized and vibrant. Other than making love to you, there isn’t a better feeling.”

  “Jack—”

  “I’d been having symptoms—tightening in my chest, shortness of breath, sometimes I’d get dizzy and feel like I was going to fall over and I didn’t have any energy. That all stopped the moment I met you.” He stroked her hand. “I don’t care what you say. You have magic and I know it’s helped me.”

  “You knew, didn’t you?”

  The hurt in her voice drew his gaze to her, tightened his throat. “I knew what?”

  “You knew about my family. You came to my design studio looking for me that day not because you wanted to have your house redone. You came looking for a sexual healer, didn’t you?”

  He closed his eyes as his world crashed down around him. “Yes.”

  She didn’t respond. He glanced at her, remorse choking him. She sat with her head down, her shoulders shaking with silent tears.

  “Baby, don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I should have told you. I just… I didn’t want to lose you.”

  “Why?” She looked up and tears streaked down her face.

  She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Her tears brightened the green of her eyes, and it wrenched his gut to see the misery he’d caused her.

  He struggled with the IV and gripped her arms. “Please, Erin, don’t be upset with me. I was desperate enough to seek you out and hope you might be able to help me. I didn’t have a plan when I walked in your door. I didn’t know how these things worked—if we’d strike up some kind of business deal.