A Chance of Stormy Weather

by Tricia Stringer

  “Tom’s fixed the house fence and built a kennel. I’ve been visiting Tarzan every day. Rowena’s fussing over him and he’s made a good recovery but he misses you…like me.”

  Paula lowered her gaze. He had such an imploring look she couldn’t bear it.

  “I wanted you to know…before I explain about Katherine.”

  Paula held her breath. So this was it. At last he was going to tell her. She exhaled and looked directly into his eyes.

  “Katherine and I were what you could call an item.” Dan stood up and moved around the kitchen as he continued. “We were together for about eight months. Katherine is an all-or-nothing kind of girl. We were pretty full on.” He glanced at Paula apologetically before he continued. “Her father had been our family solicitor. He and his wife had been through a messy divorce when Katherine was a teenager. He was a good man but he spoiled Katherine terribly.”

  Paula watched Dan but she didn’t speak. He sat down at the table again.

  “Some land came up for sale adjoining our property. We’d had some average years but it was good cropping country and I was keen to buy it. I didn’t want to borrow all the money I knew it would go for. I’ve seen too many people struggle with huge bank debts. Katherine’s father was a shrewd investor and he offered to go halves with me. I guess he thought Katherine and I were together so it was an investment in the family future.”

  Dan stood up and started to roam the room again. Paula would have preferred him to sit still but she didn’t want to interrupt him now that he’d come this far.

  “Katherine’s dad died at about the time I was coming to my senses and realising Katherine was not the one for me. She was his only child and already helping him manage their firm so naturally he left everything to her, including his share of our new property.”

  Dan stopped opposite Paula, the table between them. “So you see I was bound to Katherine by a piece of land. Then I met you and that was all the more reason to sever my connection with her. I finally convinced her that there was no point in her owning a half share and I arranged to buy it back from her with interest. I already had the bank loan for my share. I wanted to cut all ties.”

  Paula stood up and the two of them stared at each other across the table. “So it’s land that you are paying her for?”

  “Yes, I know I should have told you right from the start. Apart from the fact that Katherine is involved, it wasn’t fair to marry you without telling you about the huge debt I have to pay off. I’ve even thought of selling it.”

  “So you and Katherine don’t have a child?”

  “A what?” Dan stared at her in amazement. “No bloody way. What on earth made you think we would possibly have a child?”

  Paula felt silly. “I don’t know. Bits and pieces I’d heard, a combination of things…” She recalled the night of the party. “Something Katherine said.”

  Dan frowned. “Katherine is a nice enough person but she’s been very spoiled. Her mother moved interstate and they don’t get on all that well. Her father’s death was a terrible blow to her, and then our split. I think she had some weird idea the land might bring me back to her. She probably did think of it as our baby.”

  Dan walked around the table and wrapped his arms around Paula and this time she responded. What an idiot she’d been. There was no child. It was a piece of land that Dan was paying off. Who cared about owing some money? They could work that out.

  “I know I should have told you all this, right from the start. Rowena said I should have. She was worried about you feeling left out of the business but she agreed it wasn’t fair to make you a part of a partnership that was carrying so much debt. When we went to Adelaide that weekend I was so happy. Wool prices were looking good and I’d decided to borrow more and pay Katherine out. Once that was done I was going to explain it all to you but she pulled out at the last minute and said she didn’t want the lump sum. She wanted to continue with the payments. I was so angry with her.”

  Paula leaned her head against his warm chest. “Dan, I wish you’d told me.”

  “I know I should have. But the worst thing is, I decided to use some of the money to invest in more sheep with Ted Watson. Then Katherine changed her mind again but I couldn’t pay her out.”

  “If I’m going to be your partner, Dan, we should discuss these things. I don’t know much about farming but I understand business and money. I wish you had confided in me.”

  “So do I. We could be home right now, in our own place by the fire.”

  Paula melted against him as his hands began to roam over her. “I can’t believe I was so stupid as to think you had a child.”

  Dan stopped, his face serious. “Children aren’t a necessary part of a relationship. That’s a complication I reckon we don’t need. Just because the locals expect it, that’s not a good reason to bring children into the world. Look at Dara and Chris, they don’t have children and they’re perfectly happy.”

  Paula’s newly found joy ebbed away. Not only did he not have a child with Katherine but he didn’t want children at all. She dropped her hands to her sides as Dan continued to speak. His hands remained lightly on her shoulders.

  “That reminds me, Dara said to thank you for the information you sent. She’s ordered what she needs and she wants to know when you’re coming home so she can set a date for their official opening. I’ve got a return flight booked tomorrow. There might still be a seat for you if we ring now.”

  Paula stepped away from him. “I can’t come home with you, Dan.”

  “I can’t stay longer, I’ve got lamb marking booked.”

  “You’ll have to go back alone.” Paula was awash with misery again. “There are still things I have to sort out.”

  “Can’t you do them from home?”

  “No.” Paula had been prepared to tell him her news but now she couldn’t.

  “Is it something to do with this Marco character?”

  “No.” Paula looked at the hurt in his eyes then turned away.

  “What is it, then?”

  “It’s just…something I have to sort out here. Look, Dan, it’s late. We can talk some more tomorrow.”

  “My flight is an early one. We could talk on the plane if we can get you a seat.”

  “I can’t, Dan.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Please, Dan.”

  “Haven’t we had enough secrets?”

  He was right but he’d made it quite clear he didn’t want children. How could she tell him the doctor had told her that morning that she was pregnant? She moved away.

  “I’m sleeping badly. I’ll make up a bed for you in the other room.”

  “Don’t bother. I’ll get a taxi back to the airport. My flight leaves at six o’clock if you change your mind.”

  Paula watched helplessly as Dan walked out the door. She sat down again at the table and put her head in her hands. She was so stupid. Why didn’t she just tell him? He’d come all this way, spent money he couldn’t afford, to patch up their relationship and now she couldn’t bring herself to be honest with him.

  The problem was she hadn’t come to terms with being pregnant herself. It hadn’t been on the list of possibilities she had expected Belinda to give her when she’d returned to get the results of the tests.

  Paula had been incredulous. “I take the pill, for goodness sake,” she’d said.

  “A low-dose pill,” Belinda had explained. “That bout of diarrhoea could have been enough to stop your body absorbing the pill for a few days. Follow that up with the flu and pneumonia when you also missed a few pills.”

  “But won’t all that have affected a baby? Aren’t the early stages crucial?”

  “It’s too early to know anything except that you are pregnant. There are tests you can have later but plenty of women have conceived in far worse circumstances and delivered perfectly healthy babies.”

  Paula had left the doctor’s rooms in a daze. She’d walked home instead of taking the bus, onl
y to be confronted by Marco and his unexpected cheque. On top of all that, Dan had turned up, explained the truth about him and Katherine and then told Paula he didn’t want children.

  Paula turned out the lights and dragged herself back to bed. She was physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Eventually, she fell asleep but not before she had convinced herself she would probably miscarry the baby in the state she was in anyway.

  * * *

  She didn’t wake up until long after Dan’s plane had left.

  Her mother was waiting for her when she went out to the kitchen. “Good morning, sleepy head. Would you like some breakfast?”

  “Just tea and toast, thanks.” Paula sat at the little table in the kitchen where only a few hours earlier she’d sat with Dan. She remembered her initial relief at his explanation about Katherine and then her devastation when she realised he didn’t want children.

  “Is Dan getting up? I could cook him something.”

  “He’s not here, Mum.” Paula looked miserably at her mother. “He’s gone home.”

  Diane wrapped her arms around Paula as she began to cry.

  “I knew something was wrong,” she said. “What’s happened?”

  She sat Paula down and between sobs Paula tried to explain to her mother about Katherine and the land deal but it turned into a stumbling outpouring of people and events; Rowena, babies, two-way radios, long lonely days. Paula knew she wasn’t making any sense. Her mother kept patting her back and making soothing noises until, finally, Paula got to the part about her own pregnancy.

  “Darling, that’s wonderful news. Surely Dan was thrilled as well.”

  Paula looked at her mother through her tears. “He doesn’t know.”

  “Oh, Paula. Why on earth not?”

  “He said he doesn’t want children.”

  “Lots of people say that but when they have their own it’s a different story.”

  Paula shook her head and looked sadly at her mother. “We’ve had lots of misunderstandings but he was quite clear he didn’t want children.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me why you were so miserable, when you first came home?”

  “I knew you and Dad didn’t want me to marry Dan.”

  “Paula! That is not true.”

  “You kept trying to put the wedding off —”

  “That was only because of the short timeline. We managed it in the end.”

  “And Dad has given the impression I won’t cope with country life and will come running home...” Paula stopped and put her hands to her face.

  Diane looked at her and for once remained silent.

  “He’s been proven right, hasn’t he?” Paula felt sick as the realisation hit her. “That’s what I’ve done.”

  “Is it? I thought you came home to rest and meet your new nephew.”

  Paula looked miserably at her mother.

  “Look, Paula. You are young. You’ve had a relationship that didn’t work out. It was a tough time but you moved on. Dad and I don’t want to see you hurt. Sometimes he goes a bit too far trying to make things right for you girls. Usually I can get him to see sense and let you work things out for yourselves but he can be so stubborn. I didn’t know he was going to set up that financial agreement while we were at the farm. I found out after he’d done it. I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn’t listen. He loves you and he thought he was helping.”

  “Did you know about his deal with Marco?”

  “No.” Her mother’s brow creased in alarm. “What’s he done now?”

  “I guess I should thank him. Marco’s paid me a share from the sale of the apartment.”

  “So he should.”

  “But he wouldn’t have if Dad hadn’t stepped in.”

  “No, I guess not.” Diane picked up Paula’s hand. “Look, darling, the bottom line is you and Dan obviously do love each other. Marriage is a whole life of highs and lows but if you care for and nurture each other you’ll overcome the low times and have the most wonderful high times.” Diane ran her finger across Paula’s face, wiping a tear from each cheek and smiled. “Go home, darling. Tell Dan about the baby. At least be honest with him and give him the chance to make his own decision. This child is half his. He doesn’t strike me as the type to not care about his own flesh and blood.”

  “I’ve been so sick. What if there’s something wrong with the baby?”

  “Paula, darling, you always were a bit of a Henny Penny, worrying about things that may never happen. Whatever will be, will be.” Diane put a finger under Paula’s chin. “Now come on, clean yourself up. We’ve got to go and tell your sisters your exciting news and then we’ve got some serious shopping to do before you return to the outback.”

  Paula’s spirits lifted for the first time in weeks but she couldn’t help shaking her head at her mother’s retreating back. Diane still entertained strange ideas about life on the farm.

  CHAPTER

  29

  Two days later, at Adelaide airport, Rowena was waiting to meet Paula when she got off the early flight from Sydney. Paula had decided she needed Rowena’s help and had rung and asked her to come to the airport.

  “I’m glad to see you back.”

  Rowena’s warm smile and quick hug made Paula feel the welcome was genuine.

  “Thanks for coming, Rowena.”

  “I couldn’t resist.” Rowena took Paula’s cabin bag. “Did you bring all your bags back with you or is this a farewell visit?”

  “I’ve got another bag but whether I stay will be up to Dan. Once he’s heard what I have to say.”

  Rowena gave Paula a worried look. “What is it with you two? I thought he’d gone to Sydney to sort everything out. He’s been like a bear with a sore head since he got back. He won’t talk to me and he’s even being short with poor Tom, who’s been missing you nearly as much as Dan, I might add. Then I get a phone call from you asking me to meet you at the airport, but not to tell anyone you’re here. What is going on?”

  “I’ve got some things I want to go over with you and explain. Is there somewhere we can go where we won’t be disturbed?” Paula could feel the nausea stirring in her stomach. She glanced at the bag carousel hoping hers would be among the first. “I think I’m going to need a cup of tea and a biscuit.”

  Rowena raised her eyebrows but didn’t ask any more questions. “We can go to Austin’s. He has an apartment near here and he’s at work all day. We can have the place to ourselves.”

  Paula wondered if Rowena had told Dan about her relationship but she didn’t ask. She was too busy willing the contents of her churning stomach to stay down.

  A while later they sat by the front window of Austin’s well-appointed apartment, overlooking the sea at Glenelg. The furniture was modern and new, so different to Rowena’s house. There was a lovely big balcony but, although the day was sunny, there was a chilly wind blowing little white caps across the water and it was too cold to sit outside.

  Once she’d sipped some tea and eaten a biscuit, Paula felt better. She put the butterfly feeling down to nerves. Rowena had remained silent but now the time had come for Paula to explain. She hoped Rowena would agree to help with her plan.

  * * *

  Dan bounced the dual cab through the potholes and watched the road ahead. He’d driven back and forth between his place and Bruce’s so often over the years he could probably do it with his eyes shut. Tonight his eyes were open but his mind was far away.

  Bruce and Jane had invited him over for tea and while he didn’t really feel like talking he was sick of eating alone. Rowena had been in Adelaide for a few days. He was going to have to get used to that. He was amazed that she’d kept this Austin bloke a secret from him. She’d always been there for Dan. He would miss her but she deserved to live her own life.

  There had been no call from Paula. He was tired of telling everyone she was still holidaying in Sydney. He had thought that he could explain everything and she’d understand and come home but there was still someth
ing troubling her. He’d gone over and over their conversation and he couldn’t work it out. Her initial reaction to his confession about the land with Katherine had been delight, as he had expected, but then she had pulled away again.

  It was weird to think Paula had thought he and Katherine had a child. Katherine was far too selfish to contemplate having children, he felt sure about that. He’d seen her disdainful reactions to babies.

  He glanced sideways at the thick scrub along this patch of road. It was good to see it was recovering so well. It had been burned out by fire only a couple of summers ago. He wondered if he could be as resilient as the bush.

  He had hoped that he and Paula would have children one day but whenever babies were mentioned she’d acted like a startled rabbit and made it obvious she didn’t want them. When they’d talked in Sydney he’d done his best to reassure her it didn’t matter to him but still something troubled her.

  Dan slumped in the seat. Sooner or later he would have to face the truth. She wasn’t coming back.

  A kangaroo leapt from the side of the road and bounded in front of the dual cab. Dan swerved, then overcorrected. The vehicle slid and the back wheel slammed into the dirt bank on the edge of the road. He braced himself as the dual cab rolled. It seemed like it was happening in slow motion and he almost thought it would tip back but there was a slight drop on the other side of the bank. The front wheels were over the edge and the bounce from the back gave enough momentum to flip the vehicle right over.

  Things inside were flung around and Dan managed to reach down and turn the key just before one of the pieces of pipe he’d left on the floor flew up and hit him on the side of his head as it passed.

  * * *

  Paula went through the house turning on lights. Rowena had dropped her off a bit later than expected. The traffic leaving the city had been very heavy and a couple of sets of roadworks had slowed them up even more. Dan wasn’t home, so she had time to prepare herself. She wanted to make sure he would listen to what she had to say, with no distractions.

  It was wonderful to be back. In spite of all that had happened, she had grown to love Wood Dell. The apartment with Marco was just a piece of real estate. This was her home. She wasn’t prepared to give it up as easily as she had the apartment and she certainly wasn’t prepared to give up on Dan without one last try.