by T. L Smith
Pulling back and looking at me, she starts to talk. “I had to cover for you. Connick said you had to go away for a family emergency.” Looking over to Von, I see he’s also waiting for my answer. The last time I spoke to him, I said to him if I went missing again to worry and call the police. I guess Connick covered for me on this one.
“Yeah, I just got back. I’m so sorry.”
She waves her hand and unties the apron from around her waist. “It’s no problem.” Handing it to me she turns facing Von. “I quit.” Then she walks out with a wave. Looking to Von, he looks like he’s about to blow his gasket, his lips hold in a tight line while his eyebrows scrunch together.
“I’m sorry… again.”
Von waves me off without a word, walking out the door she just left through.
I start behind the bar cleaning up, when a hand slaps down on the countertop. Looking up, a fifty is there and a woman. She’s a beautiful woman, stunning actually. Her arm is covered in tattoos. She has a nose ring, full red lips and is staring straight at me.
“You like to stab men often?”
A cough comes from behind her, and Von’s eyes are wide. I pretend to laugh and look back to her when Von walks out the back. She’s smirking, and the smile is still etched on her lips.
“Excuse me?” I ask her politely. She rolls her eyes at me before she points to the scotch, so I start pouring the yellow gold, waiting for her to speak.
“You’re kind of what I imagined you would be, and yet not. I thought you’d have more of a bite to you.”
“Do I know you?”
She takes the tumbler from my hand before I can even offer it to her. “You don’t, pretty lady, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know you.” Her words confuse me, I have no idea what she’s talking about. Taking her money for the drink, I give her the change then go to walk away to serve the next person. She watches me as I do so, sipping her drink, garnering attention from the people around her. Men try to speak to her, but she brushes them off casually as if they’re flies. “I’m not sure what they see in you. Derrick, on the one hand, is crazy. Are you crazy?” She looks me over then shakes her head as I stop in front of her on my side of the bar. “Connick, on the other hand… he is a business man. An excellent one. So, what does he see in you?”
“You’re friends with them?”
She laughs at me, placing her drink back on the bar. “With one, yes, the other not so much.”
“What do you want?”
She clicks her tongue at me. “You knifed my friend, I came to check you out.” She places more money on the counter, leaving the change where it is.
“So it’s Connick then?”
“Of course it is. I wanted to kill that other scum long ago, but Connick won’t let me.” She rolls her eyes, then takes the next drink I’ve made for her.
“You should… kill him, I mean.”
“You would like that, wouldn’t you? I know what he did to you. Heard all about it.”
My body freezes and my eyes go wide, but before she can say another word, I walk away and straight out the back into the cool night air. My hands drop to my legs, my breathing becomes heavy, and I wish I could go back in time and change everything. Including never meeting Derrick, for a start.
“I wasn’t sure how to take you. On the one hand he hides his feelings for you. On the other, you’re actually stronger than you seem.” Her voice is smooth as it comes from behind me. She starts to move, and the click of her heels is heard on the pavement.
Looking around, I see how she’s dressed—tight shorts and revealing top, with sky-high boots.
Who is this woman?
“Sexy… aren’t I?” She puckers her lips up using a kiss motion. “You know about sexy. You use it to your advantage as well, don’t you?”
Looking her dead in the eyes, I fire back at her. I have a feeling she’s trying to scare me in some way. “Why are you here… what’s your name?” I ask leaning forward.
“The name’s Harlin. And yes, it matches me. I am a harlot. One you don’t want to fuck with, to be exact.” She offers me her hand and I take it to shake. “You like sex as well, don’t you? You just like to hide behind that quiet exterior you have going on.”
“Sex is natural, everyone likes it.”
She leans in close, so she’s right near my ear. “Not as much as we do. It’s our power trip, much like addicts. We get high from it, and when we come down, you don’t want to be around us. Am I right?” Her breath touches my ear then she steps back.
How would she know that?
The only person who hasn’t made me feel dirty is Connick. He’s never made me shower for hours on end to remove everything from my body including my skin.
“Harlin,” a voice booms from behind her, and I know whose voice it is straight away.
She turns on her heels, places her hands on her hips, drops her head to the side as she faces him. “You’ve come to ruin my fun. I was being nice, you know.”
Connick looks to me then back to her. “Why are you here, Harlin? I never asked you to come.”
“I was bored and I had to actually meet her, instead of listening to you all. I’m not your pet you can keep hidden, because I will jump from the box and fuck you all up.” She waves at me with her hand as she heads for the door we came out of. The door slams shut behind her, and we’re left standing together, doing nothing but staring at each other. My hands start to fidget, and I hold back from digging my fingernails into my palms.
Connick doesn’t say anything and neither do I, so I go to walk past him to leave when his hand stops me at my waist. Looking down at his hand, I want it to hold me in more ways than one, but shake my head and step back.
“You’re blocking, aren’t you?” he asks.
“Blocking what?”
Turning to face him, his eyes are dark as he watches me.
“I see what you are doing, Milanka. You’re blocking it all, aren’t you? I suspect you have gotten good at that… hiding from what’s happened.” His words hurt because they speak the truth. I don’t want to remember him, or what he did, because if I do remember every aspect—especially the first night—I’m afraid I won’t be the same. The same Milanka.
How fucked am I?
“Fuck you.” Pulling at his hand, I attempt to move it, I try, but it doesn’t budge. My nails start to dig into his arms, hoping he’ll remove them. He doesn’t.
“You say words from your lips, yet you don’t want me to touch you.”
He’s referring to my love for him. I may love him. I may be in love with him, but I am not stupid either. And I won’t be a fool.
The moment I move to try and free myself, my stomach hurts. Forgetting about my sore ribs, a squeal leaves my lips, and I instantly stay still. Connick immediately drops his arm from around my waist and steps in front of me, his hands touch my face, and his finger runs over my split lip.
“Come back with me. Stay with me.” Shaking my head, his hand drops. “I can keep you safe. I can get you help.”
“You can’t. You can’t help me, Connick. No one can. That’s the beauty of being me.” Walking past him, I head straight inside. Going back to the bar, the money from Harlin is still there on the counter, but there’s no sign of her. Connick steps back in a few seconds later and sits silently exactly where she was sitting. I try my best to ignore him, and not serve him at all, but it’s hard when all he does is watch me.
Walking up to him, I stop in front and pour him a water. “Who is she to you?”
“Harlin?” he asks, and I nod my head. “I don’t have words to describe her,” is all he tells me.
“Have you fucked her? She seems pretty invested in you.”
He laughs at me, and I raise my eyebrows at him.
“No, Milanka, I have not fucked Harlin. And I never intend to fuck Harlin. The only woman I intend to fuck in the future is you.” His words shock me and I can’t seem to come up with something to reply, so I walk away and serve a customer, co
ming back when I’m done. He isn’t done with me, though. “To describe Harlin’s part in my life, you have to understand who I am.”
“I don’t know who you are?”
He shakes his head at me. “You don’t… and you never fully will. So, you need to accept that.”
I laugh at him. “I don’t have to accept anything. I told you already…” pointing to myself as I lean over the bar, “… I come first. Me. Do you understand that?” He goes to speak but I cut him off. “Goodbye Connick. Don’t come back ‘til you’ve figured that out, and stop keeping all your stupid secrets to yourself.”
Chapter 5
Connick
She doesn’t understand, but she’s also right. I can’t and won’t put her first, no matter how much I want her. Leaving her work, and heading to my office to see Cherry, I notice Harlin is there, sitting on Cherry’s desk, speaking to her. She smirks when she sees me and jumps off.
How does she not break her ankle in those shoes she wears?
“Don’t fucking start.” My voice is hard as I walk past her and into my office.
“I was good. I’ve been good. I like her. Does that count?”
“Fuck off, Harlin. Now.”
“Whatever.” She gives me the finger as she walks off. As she opens the door, Derrick walks in, barging past Harlin, who’s not impressed at all. She stops with her hands on her hips, and I know she’s going to cause more trouble than good if she doesn’t keep on walking.
“Stay away from her, Connick. I fucking mean it.”
Taking a deep breath, I walk up close to Derrick. He’s the same height as me but I’m a larger build than he is. “Milanka?” I ask, noticing Harlin smirking behind him. She never damn well listens.
“You were meant to follow her for me. You were supposed to scare her for me. Yet, you fucking fuck her like she’s yours.”
I crack my knuckles and pray I don’t knock him out on my office floor, the same floor that was once my father’s.
Two years ago…
He was a brat. That’s how I’d always seen him, nothing more. Ever since we were kids, he’d gotten what he wanted, when he wanted it, without any fight. His mother was a bitch and he was her pride and joy. He was standing outside my office, waiting for me to leave. He knew when I left because I had other businesses to attend to. His hands were in his pockets, and the minute I saw him I knew he was up to something. I hadn’t seen him in over a year. Our father’s birthday was the last time and this year I couldn’t make it.
“Connick,” his voice was too nice and it instantly put me on guard.
“Derrick.” He looked around keeping his hands in his pockets, then came back to me.
“I need you to do something… I need you to keep it discreet.” Baffled at his request, I laughed at him. “I know things, Connick, I know what you used to do before you took all this over.” He waved his hand at the building behind us, the same one my father built up to one day give us both, but it only went to me because Derrick didn’t want to work, he just wanted the money.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
My driver pulled up, and just as I stepped up to the door, his voice came close behind me. “I know of the man… the one you killed.”
Turning to face him, he was smiling, and I wanted to wipe that smile from his face. This was a game. I’d kill him too if I could.
“You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? His body was found, wasn’t it? In the creek? They still haven’t found the killer, have they?”
I wanted to kill him right then and possibly land him in that same creek.
What I did back then was not who I was now. I was young and found a liking for doing the wrong thing with the wrong crowd. Though, in saying that, that crowd is still to this day my biggest ally.
I had killed four men in my life, each one chipped away a little at my soul. Each kill changed you more so than the last. It wasn’t something I was proud of, and it wasn’t something I planned to do again. So, for him to bring it up, made me mad, because it made me want to kill him, instead of having my people do it for me. I couldn’t afford to get my hands dirty again, with who I was now.
“What the fuck do you want, Derrick? Spit it out, now.”
He pulled out a photograph and handed it to me. It was a picture of the same girl I saw with him when we were young. She was a looker then, and she was even more so now.
“Watch her. Scare her for me.”
“Why?”
He shrugged his shoulders, poking his hands back in his pockets. “Just do it. And don’t fuck her. I mean it, Connick. Do not fuck her. She is mine.”
While pocketing the photo, I looked back to him. “I won’t tell Father if you do it. I’ll keep your secret.” Derrick walked away leaving me standing there.
A head popped out from the car, and Harlin clucked her tongue while shaking her head. “Don’t do it. Don’t do whatever that snake wants.” She hated who I disliked, and I didn’t even know why.
“Quiet, Harlin.” She gave me the finger in her usual style as she sat back in the car while I climbed in.
“Just let me do it. Let me kill him.”
“Not yet.”
She clapped her hands. “Finally, more of an answer than no. You know Derrick’s only using you for his own purposes. He’s a snake. You’re a lion. He just hasn’t realized that yet.” She shut up, opening her cell, then started tapping away on it. Pulling out the photo, I saw a girl who clearly didn’t know her photograph was being taken.
Stopping at the club Harlin helped me run, I didn’t get out when she did. Instead, I told the driver to keep going once Harlin left the car.
We drove for a good hour until I spotted Milanka. She was finishing work at some dingy bar. It actually looked unsafe, and even I wouldn’t drink there. She walked to a beat-up car, opened the door and climbed in. Her hair was up high, and I wanted to see her with it down because it looked long and full.
My driver followed Milanka as she drove to a small house not far from where she worked. She didn’t even lock her car as she got out and ran up the steps, opening her door, and not looking back. After watching her like a stalker, we finally left, but I knew I’d be back tomorrow.
Watching Milanka had become my new favorite thing to do. She was quiet and primarily stuck to herself. Until today. Today she bumped into a man while she was walking to the store. She stopped and leaned down to pick up his items she had knocked over. When they both stood back up he smiled at her, and I knew why. Because she was beautiful. He looked her over when her head dropped to look down. She smirked at him, and before I knew what was happening she was following him. I followed behind because I couldn’t help myself.
They stopped at an apartment. He showed her inside and she went straight in. Walking to the side, I looked through the window. She was undressing, and soon she was completely naked, standing in front of him. He didn’t waste any time as he pulled his own clothes free and pushed her onto the bed.
I should have walked away, but I was fascinated by her. The way she moved so he could touch her, but she didn’t give him her mouth. The way she got on top, not once looking at him as she rode him. It seemed to be something she needed to do, instead of what she wanted to do.
The moment she met her climax, she dressed fast and walked out the door, not even giving the guy a chance to catch up with her. Walking from the side and back to the front, I bumped into her, but she didn’t even look up. She was too focused on the ground, and the jacket in her hand.
A simple, “Sorry,” left her mouth, then she kept on walking without looking up.
I followed her on foot all the way back to her apartment. She never looked at anyone as she walked home, or even when she arrived back at her house.
My cell started ringing, and she paused at her door, then went to look back. I thought she was about to look at me, but she looked past me, then turned back around, shutting the door behind her.
“Have you started?�
� His voice was like nails on a chalkboard.
“These things take time.”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
I hung up on him because I didn’t need to hear his shit. Not today nor ever again. Stupid fucker. It rang again, not helping my temper one bit.
“What?” My voice was hostile as I spoke into my cell.
“I found the information you were looking for. Sending you through the most recent text messages that have been exchanged.” His voice cut off, and straight away my cell started beeping. Only one number illuminated that she’d exchanged texts with. Her cell information was easy to get a hold of. The history came in the next email, of all the details of the person she talked to.
A woman named Marina—a doctor.
Searching for Marina’s number, I decided to make an appointment with her.
Chapter 6
Milanka
Present…
He doesn’t stay away even when I ask him to. He shows up to my house and to my work. I ignore Connick, not giving him any attention, even though that’s incredibly hard to do when I want something from him—his body. He looks better and better each time I see him, and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay away, and not take what I want from him. Because I know I could, I know Connick won’t say no to sex with me, it’s not how we’re built. But I can’t go there. That’s not going to fix us, or even fix me for that matter.
Connick can’t be good for me the way he is—keeping secrets that involve me isn’t good either. I understand we all have our demons, that’s normal, and I don’t need to know about all of them either. But the ones involving me, I definitely want to know all about. Especially, one that’s so big—Derrick’s his damn brother. If he’d have told me that from the get go, or even mentioned it, I would have never seen him again. Yet, he worked his way in, holding his secrets at bay.