by T. L Smith
I’m not afraid. I’ve seen worse in my dreams.
“You took two of my men, Harlin. You were only meant to come for me.”
One hand goes to her hip. “Did you come when I said so? No, you dick. Now remove your hands or I’ll make it painful.”
He clicks his tongue at her, and the moment he does, she fires. My chest grips hard with tension at the sound of the gun firing and aimed in my direction. Clenching my hands, I watch her fire, and then the bullet comes straight toward me. My body freezes, I’m unable to move from the position I’m stuck in. Then a sickening sound as the bullet pierces his head and blows out the back of his skull as it continues through and skims past me. His hands drop from either side of me while his body slouches. My arm is pulled forward as Harlin grips me tightly, then I hear a loud thud as his body hits the floor. She smiles when she looks up at me, her hand comes up wiping the bridge of my nose.
“Blood… sorry about that.” Harlin’s hand stays on mine as I follow her.
The maker of death herself.
“You haven’t spoken,” she says as I sit in my car out front of where she’s just killed three men.
“Do you do that often?”
Her lips pucker before she answers, “Sometimes twice a week. Sometimes once a month. Depends, really.”
“You enjoy it? The killing?”
Her body moves as she turns in her seat to face me. Her face is covered in blood, her clothes would be too but they’re black, and you can’t really see anything other than the shiny surface where the splatters obviously cover her.
“At first… no. Especially when I know the person. But I am good at it, Milanka, and have been for a very long time.” She glances up to the ceiling of the car. “You enjoy it… don’t you? What you’re good at?”
My hands clench on the steering wheel. “I love it. Yes.”
“Exactly. Ours are both sins. One’s just messier than the other.”
Sex and killing. She’s comparing them as if they’re both the same.
“How did you know?” I realize I’ve never told her much about me.
“There’s a file on you. I read it. You really love sex as much as I love my job. There’s not much difference really.”
“A file?” I ask in disbelief.
“Of course a file. How did you think he knew where you lived? Your name? That he could bed you with just one conversation.”
“I… I didn’t know that.”
“Obviously, and you really need to talk to him about that. Because you both are so miserable right now it’s kind of depressing, actually.”
“He’s miserable?” She laughs at my words. “And how do you know this isn’t just me?”
“For one, I’ve seen you. You smile a lot with him. But you never smile now. Two, I know Connick. And he’s a miserable prick right now and aggravated as fuck. I could kill him myself most of the time. We shall call him snappy. It’s a pleasant name, I could think of much worse right now.”
“He keeps things from me.”
She smiles. “We keep things from all those we care about. Do you want to know why?” Her eyes grow serious as they pinch together. “We’re afraid. Afraid if they see us they won’t like us. Because baby, we’re all fucked and twisted. It’s all about the level of fucked and twisted, and that some of us hide it better than others.”
“I need to shower.”
She laughs at my change of subject as I start the car up. “Don’t tell him that I brought you here. I do quite like my head attached to my body.”
“He knows what you do?”
“He was the one who got me into it.” She winks at me.
Chapter 13
Connick
The day that impacted me the most with Milanka, was the same day at the coffee shop. Though it wasn’t our conversation, or even the look of her. It was what happened after that which piqued my interest in her.
She was meant to be a job and nothing more to me. A lot changed that night, a shit load of a lot. I sat watching Milanka outside the coffee house as she spoke to that woman—her doctor. I watched as she walked out and went in the opposite way of her house. Then as I followed her, everything changed.
Coffee House: Past…
Malinka walked into a store while I sat out the front and waited for her to come out. She had a carton of milk in her hands. The sky was darkening, and if my eyes weren’t trained on her so hard, watching her every move like a stalker, I would have seen Derrick coming before she did. I should have stopped it, but in a way I was glad I didn’t, because it gave me insight to who she really was and that started my obsession with her.
Derrick was directly behind her, his footsteps matched hers perfectly. She was blind to it at first until she started to slow down her steps, then she halted. I watched as he stepped closer to her frozen form, whispered something in her ear, then it was like watching a movie you just couldn’t turn away from. Her body language didn’t want him to touch her, but she did because her hands touched his hips and his lips touched her ear.
Derrick was happy, the happiest I’d ever seen him, and that scared me because why was he happy to see her like this? I could tell something was wrong with her just by looking. He was up close and personal with her, yet he didn’t care. Is that what he wanted? This side of her?
Derrick pulled away and they started walking together, hand in hand down the street, both eyes were on each other as they turned down an alley. I didn’t want to follow thinking they were going to have sex, yet I couldn’t stop myself either. What was it that they were hiding from? Why after so many years did he want her back all of a sudden? He couldn’t have just missed her and gotten sick of his own wife, Derrick told me this. I was not sure it was entirely accurate, though. There must be something else he hadn’t spoken of. So I followed them down the alley. He had her up against the wall, her leg hiked up as he kissed up her neck, pulling her shirt up so he could run his hands up her bare skin.
“Yo.” A dark and large voice boomed from back further in the alley, but they didn’t stop or even recognize it had spoken as they continued to make out.
What was happening?
“Yo.” This time the guy was walking closer to them, coming nearer so he was almost touching them. Before he could touch either of them, Derrick released his grip on Milanka, leaned in and whispered in her ear. He handed her something—a knife. She stepped toward the man that had interrupted them, and in one quick motion, plunged it into his neck. Derrick smiled at her, and I knew I had to walk in. It was like he’d placed a spell over her.
“Derrick.” My voice echoed the same way the man’s did. Both turned around to look at me. Derrick took the knife from Milanka’s hand.
“Leave, Connick.”
Milanka watched me but didn’t say a word.
“What did you do to her?”
His hand reached out and wrapped around her waist. “I told her about the knife, she froze, but then she came out to play.”
“What has the knife got to do with why she’s like this?”
His hand ran along her face. “It’s the same one she used all those years ago. I’m guessing she remembers now.” Looking back at her, I could tell something was wrong. Her eyes started rolling, then she dropped to the ground with a loud thud. As she landed on the man, who she’d just killed, she was covered in his blood.
“She won’t remember you, will she?” I asked him, stepping forward, intending to take Milanka away from him.
“I’m guessing not. She didn’t remember the last time.” He stepped in front of Milanka to block her from me.
“Move, Derrick.”
“No. This is how I want her, and I’ll keep her locked up to get this part of her every time.”
“You want her just for this part of her? That isn’t her, Derrick.”
“It is. I love her.”
“You love yourself. Now fucking move before I have to move you myself.”
Derrick looked down at her one final time befo
re he walked away. I waited until I heard his footsteps go off in the distance before I reached down to pick her up. She was so light, and her face carried so many burdens, even when unconscious. I wondered if she would remember. I wondered if she would remember me.
Milanka didn’t move or make a noise as I placed her in the car, buckling her up, and I wondered where I should take her. My only thought at that moment was to take her away from Derrick.
Driving around, I pass a hospital, the same one her doctor practiced in, so I pulled up to the emergency entrance. A nurse was standing there watching me as I pulled her from the car. She went straight into action and called for a bed. The moment I placed Milanka on it, she was rushed inside. I didn’t follow her, there was no need for her to know I was even there.
I planned to see her again, but under a more controlled setting, one where she would possibly remember me. Driving off, I wondered how long it would be before I gave in and saw her again. Maybe I might go to her place of work. Then again, maybe I might kill my brother earlier than expected.
Present…
My father is very powerful, he comes from a family with a respected name. This is how he was able to grow his business to the extent he has. I had always admired and wanted to be like him when I was younger, but as I sit now watching as he walks in with Derrick’s mother attached to his side, I wonder why. His eyes bore into mine. Derrick’s mother, Taryn, searches the room as if she’s looking for something. He pulls a seat out for her to sit on, then takes a seat in the spare one opposite me. He leans forward, looking at what’s on my desk then back again, crossing one leg over his knee. Our father doesn’t visit. He’s usually off traveling, and to see him here today is very abnormal and unsettling.
“What can I help you with today, Father?”
“We’ve been speaking to your brother,” Taryn speaks first as I watch my father for a reaction. He’s a closed off man but I have come to know his tells very well.
“And what did Derrick have to say?” Closing my computer down, I wait for her to answer. She looks to my father then back to me.
“He complained. You know the rules, Connick. You must play nice with him.”
Rules.
Rules.
What I would like to do with those rules.
“Taryn, can you check with Cherry and ask her to bring us all a coffee.” Father looks to her which makes her turn to me before she stands. She knows he wants to talk to me without her in the room. We watch Taryn leave and shut the door behind her, and the minute she does, he faces me again.
“He called her, complaining that he came to you for help, and you turned it around on him and punched him in the face.” I want to laugh at the situation. Instead, I stare with no response to his accusation. “This is it, okay? You have proved yourself. I accept that. You took this company to new heights, and for that you deserve it all without her rules attached to it. I don’t care what happened between you and your brother. I know that boy has issues that are thanks to his overbearing mother, who’s just outside that door. But…” he looks up to me, his stance straight as he sits in the chair, “… that is your stepmother. She is my wife. Taryn loves you both, but Derrick is her son, as you are both mine. A new contract will be drawn up, I am releasing it all to you.”
I’m shocked, my hands have stayed still on the desk and my mouth remains closed. I go to open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
“I never wanted the contract. The company was always yours, Connick. I trained you for it. This was all Taryn’s idea in hopes it would bring you two closer. Did it?”
“As you said, I hit him, so I’m guessing not.”
He nods his head. “I suppose I’m to blame for that as well. You worked for what you wanted, but Derrick was given it all. That stops now. He needs to stop expecting handouts. I’m cutting him off.” He stands, straightens the tie around his neck, then offers me his hand to shake. “The lawyers are sending the new paperwork over today for you to sign. Congratulations, son, I hope you have a child of your own to pass it down to.”
“Thanks, Father.”
He nods his head, and I realize this is the most polite conversation we’ve ever had. Has it taken him this long to see that I can actually run his businesses by myself?
Taryn opens the door and looks to both of us.
“Taryn, we need to see that son of yours,” my father says, and I want to laugh at his words. I look down at the desk before I look back up to her.
“You aren’t doing it. You aren’t cutting him off.” She knows, he must have told her before this meeting.
“He’s a grown-ass man, he can start fending for himself.” He waves back to me without looking and walks out the door, followed by my furious stepmother.
“I heard.” Cherry smiles appearing at the door. “Why aren’t you happy?”
Scratching my head, I wonder why. This is huge for me.
“I don’t know. It’s good news, I guess—”
“Go and grovel. You aren’t going to be happy until you do.”
“To who?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. Oh… and by the way… you may want to speak to Harlin. She may or may not have taken Milanka on a hit.” Cherry shuts the door, and my fist connects with the desk almost breaking my knuckles. That little bitch.
Chapter 14
Milanka
Today I have decided to grab the day by the balls, as Harlin puts it, and go see Connick. We need to talk without any hands touching my body. Maybe I should ask him to come to a public area to keep me safe from having sex with him, because the likelihood of that happening is high every time I’m near him.
I started working last week, and haven’t seen or heard from Connick since before I started. The break has been good. To not have him in my constant presence has been uplifting, so I can breathe again and try to work things out that don’t involve him and his body. I have also not slept with any other man in months, except for Connick. He seems to fill every need and want I have with just him alone. I was always afraid of relationships, because how could someone like me stay with one person forever.
I like sex, and one person couldn’t possibly fulfill all my needs. Could they? He does, though. Every single one of my needs have been met and he has made me more addicted to him than necessary. I’ve forgiven Connick like a teenager forgives their cheating boyfriend. I’ve stayed with him like a wife with children, not in love anymore but afraid to leave. None of these reasons are the reasons I’ve stayed, though. He’s the sole reason, everything about him.
Now I want to know what’s happening. I want the truth to leave his lips.
Pushing open the doors that lead to the elevators which go to his office, I stop before the door closes behind me. Marina is standing at the elevator and next to her is Connick. Her hand is on his arm like they know each other intimately—more than friends—and her body leans forward so they’re touching and she plays with his chin, turning it toward her.
I feel like I’m stuck in a horror film I can’t quite work out as I watch them. The elevator doors ding open and they both walk in without even noticing I’m standing right there. Just before the doors close, I step in front of them. His eyes spot me first, and they go wide at the sight of me and before he can stop the elevator, the doors close, locking them away. My legs start running, running as fast as I can out of there. I run away from it all because that’s what I am good at. My legs take me all the way to a quiet neighborhood where I end up sitting on a park bench, looking out over the green grass. I hear and feel my cell vibrating and know it's him without even having to look at it. It doesn’t stop, and neither does my heart that beats fast or my questions that are flying around in my head.
Why was he with her?
They acted as if they knew each other.
Was this another secret he’s kept from me?
Sitting and playing with it all running around in my head, I know the only way I will find answers is from the source himself. Seeing him is not what I
want to do, though it may be the only thing I can do that will make me stop wanting him, once and for all.
Walking out to the street, I hail the closest cab, and on the way there, I try to think of all the appropriate questions I need to ask him. As I come to a stop at the front of his building, it’s quiet and only a guard stands there. It’s late, almost everyone will be going home or has already left for the day. Should I have called first? Too late now.
Walking to the elevator and pressing his floor number, my hands touch my bare legs. They want to dig in to break flesh and ease some of the pain which I know will help me forget about everything. Squeezing them hard, I release them as soon as the door opens and Cherry sits at her desk in front of his office. His office is the only one on this floor. The joys of being a boss, I guess. No smile touches my lips as I walk past her and straight into his office. He is pacing the floor when I push the door open with his cell to his ear. He turns, ready to bark out a command, then his mouth tightens when he sees me.
“I’ve had my people looking for you for hours, Milanka.”
Always so formal, I want to throw that up his ass right now.
“You aren’t going to be asking questions or demanding anything right now, Connick.”
His cell goes into his pocket, his arms cross over his chest, and his eyebrow raises at me. “I’m not?”
Shaking my head, I stay exactly where I am far enough away from him.
“You won’t come further in, Milanka? Too afraid I might touch you?” He knows me too well.
“I told you, no questions. If you ask one more, Connick, I swear this will be the last time you see me.”
Connick immediately shuts up. Looking around his office while he’s finally silent, I notice not one single family photograph sits anywhere. The walls are white and cold, the furniture is bare and minimal. Turning back to him, I notice him watching me, but ultimately listening to me and not saying a word.