by T. L Smith
“How’s your stab wound?”
He looks down at his stomach then back to me. “Healed,” is his short response.
“How’s your brother?”
His head drops to the side. “Breathing… for now.” His words take me by surprise. I don’t think Connick is an innocent man. Actually, everything has told me otherwise. Yet, his words speak of hatred for Derrick, and no one could hate that man more than I do.
“Why was Marina here to see you, Connick?” I use his name like he does mine, even in the same tone. Cold and formal. No emotion.
“You want the truth?”
Nodding my head, he walks to his desk and leans on it while he watches me. The distance is good, but he feels even colder now. “She was here to see me.”
“Why?”
“Because she wants more of me.”
“What did she get from you, Connick?”
He shakes his head. “Wrong question, love, it’s what I got from her.”
“What did you get from her?” I ask.
“You.” It takes me a moment to wrap my head around his words, then my eyes bulge. “You don’t tell Marina everything, do you? I thought you would have told her about the sex, but you never did.”
Taking a step back, my hands touch a wall. “What did you do?”
“You didn’t honestly think I knew all about you from Derrick, did you? He didn’t even know where you lived until that one night you ran into him. Marina talks, it’s her specialty, you should know that.”
“She wouldn’t have, she’s not allowed to.”
“Again… wrong questions, love.”
“Stop calling me, love.”
“Milanka…” he says, cold again.
“What questions.”
“You should be asking… why was I seeing her?”
“Why were you seeing her?”
“Initially, it was to learn a bit about you. Read her files. Fuck the information really. Then I saw you one night, do you remember? You were covered in blood, just after I had first spoken to you. Do you remember, Milanka?”
Shaking my head, he steps away from his desk and takes a step toward me. “You ran into him that night. Derrick. He said it was the first time he’d seen you in almost five years. He told you about that knife he had. And you… well… kind of switched. You became his, and an entirely different person.”
“My episodes,” I whisper. Connick nods his head. “They’re under control now.” I’d gone for years without one. The episodes were a thing of my past, or so I thought. Then they were back for a short amount of time. But now they’re done and never returning, I hope.
“They are, she told me that today. You most likely will never have another one again.”
“You were fucking her for that information?”
“She’s your doctor, she understood you.”
“Did she know about you and me?”
He shakes his head. “She came for me today. Wanted to see if there was a chance, but you see a black-haired beauty has worked her way under my skin.”
“What happened that night?” I want to know, I need to know. I still remember all the blood.
“You passed out. I saw you and drove you to the hospital.”
“You’re lying! You said you wouldn’t lie to me, Connick.”
“I’m not lying. That’s what happened when I reached you.”
“Where did the blood come from?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Have you come to speak about more than that? Or was it just that?”
I don’t even remember the reason I’ve come to see him in the first place.
Then Connick speaks again before I can. “Stay away from Harlin, Milanka.”
I laugh at him. “You have to be fucking with me, right?” I look around his office. “Do I look like one of your employees who you can boss around?”
He steps forward, cracks his neck to either side and straightens his posture. “I know where she took you. Stay away from her.”
“Fuck off.”
“Milanka.”
“Connick,” I whine back to him. “You think after following me, stalking me, and fucking with my life that it gives you the right to make orders when it comes to me?” I laugh dryly at him.
“Milanka…” he growls this time.
“You’re more fucked in the head than I am, and that’s saying something coming from me.” I turn to leave, but before I can reach for the door handle, his hand is on mine and he holds it closed.
“You could get killed.”
“Like I could have gotten killed twice by your brother, who you gave information about me to? That, you mean?”
“Do you want me to kill him right now?”
That’s so tempting, oh so damn tempting.
“Why do you care, Connick? You don’t do this… ” I swing my hands around in frustration, “… didn’t you say? Us, or relationships. Why do you keep pulling if you don’t do any of it?”
“I do you, Milanka.”
“I told you, I won’t be your sex thing when you need me, Connick. That won’t happen anymore.”
“I can’t give you what you want, Milanka.” His eyes have lost their hardness.
“You don’t even know what I want because you’ve never asked. Now move so I can leave.”
Connick stares at me then nods his head and lets me pass. He watches me as I walk away, out of his office to the elevator, and as the elevator doors shut, all I see looking back at me is a lost man.
Chapter 15
Connick
She’s right, I don’t know what I want. I want her, though, just possibly not in the way she wants me to want her. Is it just her body I want? Or is it more of her? I miss having her around, I miss laying my hands all over her body like it’s my own personal puzzle. Now she won’t even look at me as if she cares, which I have brought on myself. I wish I knew then what I was doing and how wrong it was.
But the past cannot be changed, only the future can. Slamming my door, I wonder if this day will ever end. First my father, now Milanka. Granted, Father’s news was better than the news I had to deliver to Milanka. Will she ever look at me again the way she used to? With lust written in her eyes and a body that moves with my every touch.
Have I fucked it all up so badly that there’s no going back from what I’ve done?
Marina, her doctor, who shouldn’t have said a word to me about Milanka, told me everything there was to know. Everything she knew, apart from one crucial factor, she is a sex addict.
Who does Milanka go to now for her to fill that need, especially considering she isn’t with me?
The need to place someone on her to watch her is scratching at the surface, but that would just be another thing I would have to tell her. Like the man she killed—no, that will never leave my lips, and I hope she’ll never find out about it either. I didn’t lie when I told her what I knew, I just withheld that one specific part, the part that was for her soul and not for me to gain anything from her.
Marina was here in the hopes that I would be with her again, one last time, in her words. I haven’t been with Marina since that night I took Milanka to her house, I just couldn’t fuck another woman once I had a taste of her.
Are Derrick’s words correct? Is she an obsession?
Or maybe she just isn’t like every other woman out there. Maybe she is more. Leaving my office, I drive straight to Harlin, who I need words with after what Cherry told me. Taking her to her jobs, her jobs that could potentially get her killed, is a no. Yes, Harlin is good, but Harlin looks after one person, herself. She always has, and that’s what makes her so good at what she does. No liabilities for her to fuck anything up. She’s standing out front of her house when I pull up, her bike is in front of her, and she’s looking down at something on it with a tool in her hand. She turns when I shut the car door, smiles, then drops it when she sees me.
“Connick, what a surprise.” The tool in her hand taps on her leg as I walk closer to her. Grabbi
ng her by the throat, my hands squeeze tight and her eyes go wide, then she wallops me in the head with steel. My grip loosens enough for her to get free. Rubbing my head, she stands ready for another attack. “Who fucking told you?” Harlin isn’t even mad. She doesn’t care, she knows why I’m here. She knows who I am, and not to fuck with me. Yet Harlin always does what Harlin wants.
“Doesn’t fucking matter… have you lost your mind?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I told you I liked her.”
“So you take her on one of your hitman jobs. Seriously, Harlin?”
“Milanka was fine, she knows how to look after herself. Stop thinking she’s incapable of doing so.”
“She is.”
Harlin laughs at me. “You keep on thinking that, and you will never win her back. She didn’t even flinch when I shot the man that held her, Connick, right next to her head, not even a flinch. How many girls you know keep that still when I fire a gun?”
“No one.”
“Exactly. Treat her as your equal. Stop thinking of her as being so fragile. She isn’t.” Harlin turns, not worried by me at all.
Placing my hand on my head, I feel the bump that’s rising. Fucking bitch.
“She knows… everything now,” I say
“She doesn’t know everything. She doesn’t know you're in love with her, does she?”
“I’m not.” My protest is weak
“And I’m a pig’s ass.” I raise my eyebrow at her. “I will hit you again.”
“Fine, whatever. I want her.”
“Yeah, we all know that. Milanka knows that. She just wants you to want her more than for sex, is all.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Good, neither do I. Ask someone who knows. Someone better equipped to deal with that shit than me.”
“You’re a real bitch, you know that?”
“I know. Now fuck off so I can fix my bike. I need these tools for the bike and not your head. Actually, you do have a few screws loose, you want me to fix that for you?”
“Ha, ha.” Turning to walk off, I reach my car and open it.
“No more, Harlin, no more of those places.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Just brothels then?” I stay quiet, watching her. “Fine, no brothels either. Go away, you party pooper.”
Driving away, I know she won’t do it again. Harlin is a girl of her word, that’s the only reason I let her in, and the only reason I keep her around me.
I drove past her house twice last night, wanting to go in to see her, and then turning back around. She’s right. Until I know what I want, I can’t keep on pulling her in.
Today, I’m standing out front of Derrick’s house, though. He and I have things to discuss, and I know he won’t like what I have to say, but he will listen. Knocking on the door, it opens straight away. Nicole stands there smiling when she sees me. I’ve always been pleasant to her, now I know who she really is and what a bitch she is, I guess that’s why she’s with Derrick. Two peas in a pod and all that shit.
“Connick, so glad to see you.”
“Nicole.”
She gushes, placing her hand on her chest. “Please, you can call me sister, you know.” I ignore her comment because that will never happen and follow her in. Derrick is lazing on the couch when I reach him. He looks to me then back to the television.
“You spoke to the parents.”
“My father.”
His mother is anything but my mother, mine is dead.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“We need to talk. Now. Alone.” He looks next to me where Nicole is standing, then waves her away with the flutter of his hand like she’s nothing. She huffs before she walks away, and his eyes go back to the television. I wonder what it was in him she saw in the first place. Our looks are completely different. The only trait we have that’s similar is that we’re both headstrong. Other than that, we are nothing alike.
“Hurry up, talk… I don’t have all day.”
Walking closer, I stand just opposite of the television so I can see him better, he looks to me then back to the television.
“No more. No more will you see Milanka. No more will you look for her.”
His eyes find me again and he leans forward on his elbows. “You think you can tell me who to see? You think you have a hold on her?”
“She doesn’t want you. When will you get that through your thick skull?”
“I don’t care if she wants me, I want her. End of discussion.”
“Listen to him, baby.” Nicole walks back through the door looking down at her husband.
He sneers, “Fuck off, Nicole.”
She throws the glass in her hand at him. “If you touch her again… go near Milanka, I’ll kill her.” Both of us face Nicole full-force. She watches the both of us and shakes her head.
“You won’t touch her again. Do you understand?” Derrick questions.
“Neither will you, Derrick.” My voice is low but very serious.
He turns to me. “You’re not the boss of me. I don’t work for you, brother.”
“If you touch Milanka or come near her again, without her consent, brother, the place you will end up won’t be at home with your wife and child. It will be seven feet under the ground. Do you understand me?”
“You can’t, Father would disown you.”
He thinks he’s protected. Derrick’s protection ended the moment I signed all the contracts, and now I have it all. Well, almost everything I want.
“He wouldn’t know, I’m superb at accidents.”
“Why are you both protecting her? What’s so special about her?” Nicole’s lips lift up in disgust, and I wonder what Derrick even saw in Nicole to marry her and have his child.
“She’s everything you could never be, Nicole,” Derrick says, the look in her eyes is all I need to see before I leave.
Walking away, I go to the door when their daughter comes running up to me, she wraps her hands around my legs, and I wonder how they managed to make her. Two evil souls creating something good, so precious. Thank God she’s with my father and stepmother most of the time, not stuck with these two imbecilic idiots.
“I’ve missed you, Uncle.” So tiny, her big blue eyes smile when she looks up to me. Kids are not my thing, I’ve hardly been around Bianca as much as an uncle should, though I see her on special occasions, and always have something in my pocket for her. She’s so quiet and timid, but I like that about her.
Pulling out a glass unicorn from my pocket I give it to her. Bianca smiles so brightly that I want to grab her and take her away from these insane losers right now.
“I love it. I’ll add it to my collection.”
Scruffing her hair, she squeezes my legs again. “Don’t forget, if they start yelling you call Grandad.”
Our father gave her a cell phone at the age of two. Yes, two, and the only number it calls is him, because deep down inside he knows what his son is like. She calls him every time they fight. Derrick hates it. I love that she has an outlet.
“Don’t come back, brother.”
“Don’t come near her, brother. I mean it.”
Derrick gets off the couch to slam the door behind me as I walk out. Now I have to work out what I plan to do with Milanka. She isn’t an object I can use at my discretion. What we once had has gone, and now it’s time for something new.
Can I handle new, though?
Chapter 16
Milanka
The sickness isn’t leaving and I’ve been struggling to get out of bed. I don’t know if it’s from everything that’s happened but I feel so depressed as well. Connick hid things from me, yet again, and still he’s on my mind. I wish I could banish all thoughts of him as easily as I have been throwing up, but that isn’t happening.
We both have secrets, there’s no doubt about that. I thought I could ignore them, his secrets. Do I even know all of them? I feel that there’s so much more and I don’t know the real him. I know so much about him. Yet he hides
parts away and secures it all within a shell of steel. One that’s impossible to crack.
He owns businesses, this much I know, but what did he do before? Why does he want to own so many? These are all things I don’t know.
I’m not one to judge, we all have issues, and sometimes those issues can be overlooked, especially when we both have them. I snap a few more photos with my photographer instructor telling me which angle is best. He knows I’m tired and isn’t pushing me hard today, it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning. By the time I’m finished, I want to sleep. I’m not giving this job my best, and that pisses me off because I love it. I love the way the natural lighting hits each spot perfectly, and the way everything zooms out from the camera in your hand like you’re looking through into someone’s life that you didn’t even know you had the privilege to.
Finishing up, I make my way to Serena’s, she’s having a lingerie party. I didn’t want to go, I wanted to go home to sleep but she insisted. She hasn’t been working either. Sometimes when Von is desperate, he calls her and she caves, a bit like Connick and I, I guess. We have an invisible string that keeps on pulling us in, and we can’t do a thing to stop them.
Serena’s house is full of ladies when I arrive. Serena eyes the car but doesn’t comment on it. I forgot she hasn’t seen it yet. What do I do about the car? I really like it now, and don’t want to give it back, but I know I should. The only thing is he took my old car and I need something to get to and from work. It’s a problem that I’m not sure I can solve.
“You’re going to love this, so many gorgeous outfits.” She pulls me into the room where everyone is sitting, some ladies smile and wave, some just look. The demonstrator starts pulling out lingerie for us to check out and passes it around. “This, this one is you.” She gives me a black set, thigh high stockings in black, a black lace bra with a matching G-string.
“I don’t wear any of this stuff.”
“Come on, you need to try it. I’m buying it for you as a gift.” Serena stands and walks away, leaving me sitting watching everyone.