by Jacki Renée
Bryan’s lips relax as his teeth grip the ring. I slowly retract my finger. The weight that’s been anchoring me is gone. I’m light. I’m free.
We lace our fingers to keep me from floating away.
Bryan lets the ring fall from his mouth.
In ultra-slow motion, the band flips over and over, the sun’s light reflecting off the gold. It falls into the hole.
Cling! The ring bounces onto James’s shiny mahogany casket.
Ding! The ring bounces again. It’s the sound of the bell at the start of a boxing match.
Ping! The casket’s lid flies open. James’s angry gaze fixates on me. His lips move, but no words are spoken. His arm rises, a gun pointed at my chest. Frozen. A flash of fire and smoke shoots out of the barrel.
Bryan pulls me into his arms.
My eyes fly open. I’m clutching my chest. My whole body shakes as my mind replays the dream.
Crickets call out to each other, and an owl hoots from somewhere in the wooded area. The sound of an unfamiliar nocturnal animal echoes in the night.
Bryan mumbles and rolls over onto his side, facing me. He’s asleep. The room is cast in shadows from the moonlight piercing through the glass doors, but I can see him.
His face is relaxed and those long eyelashes are at rest. His lips are parted and he’s breathing through his mouth. The covers lie around his waist. He’s shirtless.
I scoot closer to him, resting my head on his pillow. I know I shouldn’t, but I reach out and run a finger along his strong jawline, the stubble prickling my fingertips.
His eyes open.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whisper.
“Everything okay?”
“Had a bad dream.”
He reaches out, pulling my body against his. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Talking is the last thing I want. I press my lips to his. My tongue slips between his soft lips. I let this kiss answer his question.
Gently, I push his shoulder until he rolls onto his back, and I roll with him without breaking the kiss. I straddle his hips, pressing my body into his, the remnants of the dream chased way.
Resting my hands on his chest for balance, I sit back. For a moment, doubt clouds my mind and body. I’ve only initiated sex once in my life and my heart is fighting to break free from my chest.
His silent, sexy smile encourages me to keep going.
I grasp the hem of the sleep-shirt and arch my back. Bryan sits up and helps me pull the cotton material over my head. Carnal instinct takes over. The need for skin-to-skin contact washes away self-doubt. A sensual warmth spreads through me. My breasts brush the skin of his chest and my sex aches for a touch only he can give me.
Bryan rolls me onto my back and rains kisses on my face and neck. He moves down my body leaving wet caresses from his tongue on my skin to cool in the air in the room. The path glides along the center of my abs.
My mind grips the pleasure. His tongue paints an arrow on my mound.
Bryan kisses me through my panties. Teasing me. Making me squirm. The ache growing more intense. He does not linger. The warmth of his body leaves me.
“Dani...”
I open my eyes, not because he called my name, but because of the emotional restraint I hear in his voice.
Bryan stands at the foot of the bed, the front of his pajama pants failing to contain his erection. The tip peeks out from the waistband hanging low on his hips.
Words are unnecessary. He will stop if I don’t want this. He respects my body, and the decision is mine.
Every reservation I’ve had about him since that day at Back to School Night is erased. The memories of lonely nights evaporate.
I want this.
I want him.
I want us.
I reach for him.
Bryan steps out of his pajama pants, and the sight intensifies the longing in the core of my being. He crawls onto the bed.
We lace our fingers as he settles in between my legs. He touches his forehead to mine and stares into my eyes. What I find in his eyes gives me peace and reassurance that this is more than a friends-with-benefits relationship. This is not a booty-call.
Untangling one hand, he trails his fingers over the side of my body, reaching between us to guide himself to my passage. The secret words he whispers make my stomach jump and my body ignite with lust. My eyes close.
His hand reconnects with mine as he rocks into me. After years of celibacy, my walls welcome him home. My muscles stretch and mold around him.
“You haven’t been with anyone since...”
My eyes pop open. With a slow twist side to side, I shake my head before he can finish asking the question.
His hazel eyes search mine. He leans in, his lips against my ear. “You make me want things I’ve never wanted before,” he whispers, and then his teeth clamp down on my earlobe at the same time he pushes into me.
My breath pauses.
My focus divides between the sensual pain pulsing through my lobe and the satisfying pleasure of Bryan inside me. Reclaiming me.
No longer do I hear the sounds of nature outside. What invades me is the warmth of his body against mine. The emotional connection of our coupling. The taste of his tongue as he kisses me. We guide each other on the path toward an erotic ending.
We explore each other’s body. Set a rhythm that arouses our souls and feeds my heart. I rock my hips while Bryan rolls his. I roll my hips while he rocks his.
I like it when Bryan shortens his strokes to bring me to the brink of an orgasm, then shifts his hips to go in long and deep.
I like controlling Bryan’s sounds of pleasure.
When I stroke down on him, he growls.
I circle my hips and drag my nails along his skin. Bryan moans.
When I rock my hips, nibbling on his ear, he groans.
I grasp his butt and squeeze, Bryan grunts.
When I caress his skin, he sighs.
I lock my ankles around him, and Bryan whispers naughty things.
The tremble of culmination starts from my center. He strokes my G-spot gradually. Thighs quiver. Walls clench and release. My hips circle quick and fast, brushing my clitoris against him. The contrast between slow and steady, quick and fast drives me to that orgasmic crest. A sense of Zen pours through my being. I hum and moan his name.
Bryan’s body trembles. Mouth against my neck. A shudder goes up his back as he orgasms. His strokes are faster. Harder. He laces his fingers with mine. Our bodies rock together. I whisper visually graphic words in his ear and Bryan comes; my name becomes his creed.
He pulls out, rolls onto his side, cuddling me in his arms. “Talk to me, Dani.”
“I’m okay.”
A memory flashes of a time when after-sex cuddling was just as intimate as the actual act. The talks we had. The plans we made for our family.
That was eight years ago. My tears fall onto his chest.
His arms tighten around me. I don’t have to say it out loud. He understands. Those talks are what I miss most of all.
It’s hard to put into words how happy I am being with him.
We stay like this, listening to the nocturnal sounds.
My resolve firm, the tears dry up. I roll away, pulling off the wedding ring and setting it on the nightstand.
I’m free from what that piece of jewelry symbolized in my relationship with James. Friendship. Connection.
I now have that and so much more with Bryan—and want to absorb as much of it as I can. My leg stretches across him. I straddle his hips and rain kisses along his neck.
“I’m ready for the sequel.” I capture the tip of his ear between my teeth.
I make love to Bryan until we fall asleep, legs and arms tangled, our lives forever connected.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I sway to the music playing on the stereo, as I get dressed for our wedding. James really outdid himself with this CD mix. He hasn’t made me one since I moved here to Arizona. This one
is different from the ones I used to fall asleep listening to. He’s blended the songs together so it seems like one song is playing for hours.
James whispers in my ear. His words echo in the background of the music. “Don’t trust anyone. I’m your only friend.”
I turn around, but he’s not there. I’m in the cemetery standing over his grave. Bryan’s with me.
James floats out of the casket, stepping into the light. A gun in his hand, aimed at Bryan. Shots ring out. Bryan falls to the green grass.
I gasp. My eyes fly open searching the room for him.
It was just a dream, I chant to myself until my heart beats at its normal pace.
Today is the holiday party. Instead of waking up happy after the night and morning I shared with Bryan, my dream darkens my mood. The wedding band is still in the place I put it. An invisible string attached to it and my finger.
Bryan is already up and dressed. He’s sitting on the couch with papers in his hand, and talking on the cell phone. Steam swirls above the rim of the coffee cup on the small table in front of him. He’s watching me.
“Hold on a second,” he says into the phone and pulls it away from his ear. “Everything okay, Dani?”
Nodding without making eye contact, I climb out of bed and walk toward the bathroom.
“I’ll call you back,” Bryan says. He meets me at the door. “Did you have another bad dream?”
“I’m fine.”
He reaches for me, but I step around him, closing the door in his face.
I don’t regret what I shared with Bryan, and I want more nights, and days, with him. I’m just in a weird headspace right now. Hopefully as the day progresses, I can shake this feeling.
The girls and I have a lot to do, so I don’t waste time in the bathroom. I take a hot shower and go through my body-moisturizing regimen.
Bryan is back on the phone when I come out. I quickly dress in a pair of wine-colored winter leggings and a flannel button-down shirt with one of Bryan's black wife-beaters underneath. I hurry downstairs to the kitchen.
We have a nine o’clock hair appointment and it’s ten minutes to eight.
The girls are already eating breakfast.
“Good morning. How did you sleep?” I ask.
Kourtney and Emma wink at each other and rush me. “How did you sleep?” They tickle me.
“Like a baby.” I laugh, wiggling away from them. “Okay, tickle twins. Let’s get a move on it. We have a hair appointment in an hour. We have to look our best for Bryan’s party.”
Kourtney squints her eyes.
“They’ll be gentle,” I tell her.
“Good morning,” Willis shouts over the noise of drills and hammers. He pours coffee into the cup in his hand.
“What’s all that?” I motion in the direction of the sounds coming from outside.
“They’re getting ready for the party tomorrow night.”
Marie steps out of the laundry room with a basket of towels. “You couldn’t sleep in either?” she shouts, that Southern drawl making her words sound like a song. “Would you like breakfast?”
Maybe she’s old fashioned in her beliefs regarding an unmarried couple having premarital sex.
Are we a couple? Is that how I’m defining our relationship? Does he see us as a couple?
I’m not foolish enough to think he loves me just because we’ve been intimate.
Lost in my thoughts, I don’t hear Vin come in the kitchen until he speaks.
“Had a good night?”
He opens a cabinet, fighting a knowing smile that wants to break free.
Just his presence puts me on the defensive. The remembrance of a scent makes my stomach roll and fist clench.
“Leave her alone, Vin,” Marie warns.
With a coffee cup in his hands, he turns around, a smirk on his face. Vin walks toward me. Fish and old socks hover in the recesses of my brain. I push back in the chair and stand to face him head on.
He looks down at me. “Which one made you glow? Tom, Dick or...”
I sucker punch him in the mouth. The coffee cup in his hand crashes to the floor. Marie yells something that doesn’t penetrate my fighter’s brain. I concentrate on the tank wiping his mouth and nodding his cocky head. He’s about to make a move.
Bryan charges through the door. I don’t take my eye off my enemy.
“Danielle!” Bryan bellows.
With Vin momentarily distracted, I throw an unsuspected punch to his chin and get ready to use his momentum against him. I take a step to the side.
Bryan rushes me, stepping in between us before his friend can retaliate.
He throws me over his shoulder, fireman style. I flip Vin the bird as I’m carried through the door, kicking and screaming.
Marie’s yelling at Vin. I don’t understand what she’s saying. Her Southern drawl is too thick. And she's not speaking English. Plus Bryan and I are shouting at one another too.
“I never promised not to defend myself,” I pound on his back with my fist.
Bryan stomps up the stairs, unfazed by my attempts to squirm off his shoulder. Everything is his fault.
Bryan slams the bedroom door behind him and stops in front of the bed. He lifts and launches me at the rumpled covers. If I weren’t so mad, I’d be impressed by his strength. I bounce onto the center.
“Your caveman act is unnecessary,” I hiss, scooting to the edge of the bed.
“Shut up, Danielle!” He paces back and forth, stopping long enough to throw his jacket over a leather reclining chair.
“That was a private conversation between you and me. That’s not something you tell your friends!”
“Don’t give me some bullshit explanation for your actions.”
“My actions? What about yours?” I throw the accusation back at him.
He pauses and looks at me.
“Bring her back down here so we can settle this.” Vin’s voice carries from downstairs.
“Come up here if you’re man enough, stubby,” I yell back.
Bryan moves so quickly I don’t see him coming. His hand clamps over my mouth. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” His voice is calm. He stares into my eyes.
When he drops his hand, I stand, forcing my way past him. He grabs my waist, pulling me back and sitting me on the bed.
I stand and throw a hook to his ribs then a jab to his jaw. He blocks both and even the one aimed at his chin. His fingers enclose my fist and Bryan shoves me back onto the bed.
Scooting back, I kick him, getting him square in the chest. He stumbles and falls to the floor, but recovers quickly. Like a warrior.
He lunges at me.
Reflexes are spot on. I roll out of the way.
He grabs me. We wrestle on the bed until he pins me down.
“Why are you fighting me, Dani?” Bryan asks.
I don’t respond. Instead I jerk underneath the weight of his body.
“Stop. Moving.”
His command adds fuel to the anger roaring inside me. Channeling that energy, I gather the strength to throw him off and land a good punch to his temple. This time it connects.
I move to get off the bed.
Bryan leaps on top of me, pinning me down again. I push against his shoulders, trying to get him off. With my nails, I dig into his flesh through the mustard-colored dress shirt, tearing the expensive cotton material.
He captures my wrists in one massive hand, holding them above my head. His free hand pulls and tugs, then yanks off his striped tie. He wraps the silk cloth around my wrists and ties it to a post in the headboard.
Oh, I’m beyond pissed now.
“You’ve worn that ring for eight years because you made a promise to...”
“Don’t you dare speak his name. James didn’t tell his friends about our private moments. He didn’t allow his friends to speak to me like that. And he certainly treated me a lot better than you ever have.”
Bryan’s sinister chuckle sends a chill through my blood. “Name one of his frien
ds, Danielle.”
He waits for me to respond, but I can’t. In all honesty, after high school, I only met one of his friends. And that was after James deployed to Iraq.
“If you weren't so closed off, you'd know the dynamics of close friendships. My friends are my ride-or-die. We have no secrets.” His voice is so menacing, I pause to look at him.
He’s surpassed angry.
Self-preservation kicks in and I fight, squirm, and wiggle underneath him, shutting out the back and forth banter. With all my upper body strength, I pull against the restraint around my wrists.
“Stop before you hurt yourself,” he barks.
Keep fighting.
Protect yourself.
Legs open, lock my ankles in the middle of his back and squeeze his ribcage between my thighs as tight as I can.
He breaks the hold. Rolls off. Flips me onto my stomach. And lies on my back.
“You’re acting like a child and not like the educated woman I know you to be.”
He struggles to control me.
Keep fighting.
Protect yourself.
“I brought you up here to defuse the situation.” His lips brush my ear.
When you’re up against the ropes, free your mind and look for your opponent’s weak spot, then go in for the kill. My foster father’s voice comes to mind.
I jerk back, head-butting Bryan. The weight of his body falls off me. I pull myself up onto my knees, biting at the tie wrapped around my wrists.
A vise clamps around my ankles, yanking me back.
Humph, I fall to my stomach. My wrists out of reach. He pulls the Ugg boots off my feet and jumps onto my back.
“Please don’t make me kill one of my best friends for hurting you,” Bryan whispers in my ear.
“I’ll kill him for you.”
He growls.
“Abdicate the thrown, Danielle,” Alpha Male warns, hovering close to my head.
“No,” I shoot back, defiance speaking for me.
“I’ll keep you tied to this bed all day,” Alpha Male threatens.
I use his position to my advantage and head-butt him again.
“Shit,” he shouts.
I climb onto my knees, planting them on the mattress and sidekick him off the bed. Bryan, caught off guard, hits the floor. Hard.