by Jacki Renée
I pull at the silk around my wrists with my teeth.
In the background, I hear the tinkle of a belt coming undone.
The knot in the tie loosens a little.
He grips my ankles. I'm yanked back so hard my chin scrapes the sheets. An after-burn smolders on my skin.
My ankles are now restrained like my wrists.
Bryan’s beside me. A dark and dangerous alpha male stares me in the eyes. I try to head butt him. He twirls my ponytail around his hand and gives it a quick yank. His eyes are void of emotion. His face, within inches of mine, takes on the appearance of a predatory animal.
For the first time in my life, I know the real fear of being defenseless. And it’s Bryan who scares me.
Slowly, he unravels my hair from his hand. I’m flipped onto my back. Pain shoots through my wrists.
The stillness in the room makes me shiver.
Blood from Bryan’s nose flows over his lips, down his chin, and stains the dress shirt. He doesn’t bother wiping it away. The corner of his bottom lip is swollen and also bleeding. Small red, crescent-shaped marks tarnish the spots where my nails tore through the material of his shirt and broke the skin.
Bryan climbs off the bed, unbuttoning the shirt. Pulling it tight, he covers my face with the shirt. Physically I know I can’t be suffocated, but the mental feeling is sobering.
The sound of water running in the sink wafers through the door. Immediately my mind goes to being waterboarded. I fight the panic and draw on my mental strengths as a boxer.
“Untie me from this bed, Bryan,” I shout.
No response. For all I know, he could be standing over me with a pitcher of water.
I jerk and wiggle. Use my mouth and tongue. The shirt covering my face, blocking my vision won’t budge.
My foster father didn’t teach me to defend myself once I’m literally defenseless. That’s because he always told me not to allow myself to be put in a situation where I am defenseless.
Bryan’s silence is eerie. I wait for the sounds of him moving around the room.
Nothing.
His stealth mode brings on a new level of fear. I’m trained to see and hear my opponent attacking.
His demeanor is cold. Unfeeling.
The tears begin to flow. “Please, untie me, Bryan. Please.”
My helpless cries fill the room.
“Please,” I sob. The need to curl into a ball is strong, but he’s in control. I’m at his mercy.
Minutes seem more like hours. Finally, my ankles are set free. The shirt lifted off my face. Restraints around my wrists loosen, then disappear. My hands are placed on my stomach.
I open my eyes.
Bryan’s hand shakes as he reaches for my face. Instinct has me flinch away from his touch. He just showed me a side he’s kept hidden.
My tears flow heavier and I turn away from him, curling into a ball.
The bedroom door opens then closes.
***
The sound of Dani crying on the other side of these doors is slaying me. Today, I met the monster within. The one that lurks within every member of Phantom. Mine was dangerously close to going too far, and that scares me.
Danielle isn’t the enemy.
What the hell was I thinking?
Only she can make me lose control.
Inhale. Slowly exhale.
Would I really have followed through? Or was I just trying to scare her into giving up the fight? The line is blurry. I can’t see the answer.
Leaning against the door, I try to pull myself together. Tony and Ig are back from their mission and we were supposed to meet in the office at nine, but I really should go back in there and apologize.
Kourt’s voice stops me. She sounds like she coming up the stairs.
“Where’s my mom?” her voice trembles.
“I’m sure she’s getting ready so you guys can go,” Willis replies.
I take another deep breath and step away from the door to head her off. I’ll calm her fears first. Before the day is over, I have to apologize and hope Dani forgives me. Deep down, I need it. I’ve always needed it.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I sit up and put the ring back on my finger. Even though that burden crashes down on my soul, I welcome it. It’s familiar.
Blinded by tears and stumbling from the weight, I make my way to the bathroom. Sobs cause my body to vibrate as I splash water on my face.
There’s no way the Bryan who made love to me would manhandle me in the light of day. But he just did.
For years I abstained from sex and should have waited longer. Gotten to know him before things got complicated.
Okay it happened—now what do you do? Defiance asks.
I’m done crying like a helpless woman.
Good, keep going, Defiance encourages.
Take Kourtney and disappear!
Sounds like a plan, Defiance confirms.
I dry my face and leave the bathroom.
The closet door slams into the wall. My suitcases are in the back.
I grab one and carry it back to the bed.
The second suitcase I fling onto the mattress.
Like a tornado, I whip through the closet, sweeping up my belongings. Leaving empty hangers swinging on the rod or falling to the hardwood floor. Empty drawers are left tittering in their slots.
All the while, I curse the day Bryan Kendall Hawk IV strolled into my life.
I drop clothes, shoes, and accessories from my arms into the open suitcases, not caring if they’re neat and orderly.
The bedroom door opens. Immediately my shoulders square, ready to face my opponent. Back heel slightly off the ground. Weight mostly on front foot. Knees bent. Elbows down and in. Fists up. Chin down. Ready to fight my way out of here.
Marie walks into the room, raising her hand in surrender when she sees me. I relax my stance and march back into the closet.
“Why are you packing?” Marie asks.
“Kourtney and I are leaving.” I come out of the closet with my arms full.
Her disapproving frowns and tone were warnings I didn’t pick up on. I got caught up in the fantasy; turned a blind eye to the reality.
“Don’t leave,” Marie begs.
“We can’t be here.”
“That apartment isn’t safe.”
“We’ll stay at a hotel until I decide my next move.”
“Mom, we can’t leave. You said we’re staying for the holidays and the party is tonight.” The hurt tone of her voice pulls at my heart. I’ve never seen her so happy since we moved to Colorado.
Kourtney’s standing in the doorway watching me. What do I do?
Emma runs in, wrapping her arms around my waist. “You can’t miss the party, Dani. Please don’t leave.”
“You promised, Mom.” It’s not a reminder. It’s a statement. Tears pool in her eyes as she stares at me. I haven’t broken a promise to her, and she’s letting me know this is one she’ll hold against me if I do.
Emma squeezes me tighter and I wrap my arms around her. I don’t want to disappoint them, but that’s a part of life.
The girls are not at fault. They don’t deserve this. I count to ten as I exhale.
“We’ll stay for the party.” But we’re leaving in the morning.
“Willis is waiting downstairs. I’ll unpack for you.”
“Please move my things to the other guest room for tonight.”
An escape plan forming in my head, I lead the girls out of the room.
We put on our coats and leave the house to get ready for Mr. Hawk’s holiday party.
In the car, I call the hair salon, changing our appointment to later this afternoon. We head to the mall first.
***
I make a point of staying out all day to avoid Bryan. His back-to-back calls go to voicemail. I delete text messages and emails without reading them.
We return a few hours before the party is scheduled to start. I have Kourtney and Emma b
ring their dresses to the guest room and lock the door.
They get dressed first. I touch up their hair and send them to Emma’s room until I’m ready to go.
The lighting in the bathroom is perfect. I apply the basics of makeup standing in front of the mirror. Instead of allowing the hair stylist to give me a fancy up-do, I told him to straighten my hair and turn the ends under.
I unlock the bedroom door for Marie. She’s already dressed for the festivities. The party started an hour ago.
I slip into the emerald curve-hugging gown with a V that reaches down to the small of my back. Marie zips the hidden zipper.
From far away it appears as if I’m wearing a strapless gown that leaves my back bare. Up close the sheer, flesh-tone material is visible.
I step into my heels and put in my simple diamond earrings.
“You look beautiful, Danielle.”
“I don’t feel beautiful, but thank you, Marie.”
“You and Bryan will work things out.” She gently squeezes my hand the way my foster mom did when I was upset.
I thought Marie was against my relationship with him. What could have changed her mind? Whatever, the reason no longer matters. Kourtney and I are out of here in the morning.
I grab my clutch and wrap and go to Emma’s room.
“Mom, we’re staying for the holidays, aren’t we?” Kourtney asks.
“Come on, girls, we’re already fashionably late.” I will not lie to my daughter.
“You didn’t answer the question.” When she frowns like that, she looks so much like her father. My heart hurts.
“Kourt. Can we get through tonight and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow?”
Her mouth twitches. “May we wear lip gloss?” she asks.
This morning knocked me off my game. I vaguely remember the questions she asked while we were at the makeup counter in the mall. She knows I’m not an advocate of young girls wearing cosmetic products. We don’t have time for a battle of the wills. I open my clutch and hand her the tube of clear lip gloss. “Don’t put on too much.”
Kourtney hesitates, must have expected me to say no. She takes the tube. They rush into the bathroom and I follow to supervise them. When they’re finished, we go downstairs to put on our coats and leave the house to join the party.
The four of us walk the covered lit path to the enclosed gazebo constructed for tonight’s event. Whoever Bryan uses to decorate did a beautiful job outside. Even the first row of bare trees is lit by clear lights. The path is covered with a white material that matches the tented archway.
A young man dressed in old-fashioned white tails and top hat stands at the door to collect the guests’ coats. I keep my wrap.
The outside was beautiful, but the inside is a winter wonderland of white satin fabric draped around the room, twinkling clear lights and branches painted white to add to the ambiance. Crystal icicles hang from the ceiling. Splashes of green, red, blue and silver showcase the beauty of the season. The subtle scents of pine, cinnamon, and vanilla add warmth to the room. The grand floor-to-ceiling green noble fir stands near the entrance. Guests stop for a quick photo shoot in front of the tree. It’s decorated with white poinsettia leaves, big champagne- colored balls, white ribbon, and clear lights.
Tom, Max’s husband, snaps a few pictures of us.
Vin is the first person I spot. He’s at the bar with a drink to his lips, while Anthony and Ignacio talk to two women off to the side.
The woman standing next to Anthony is laughing. On second look, I recognize her. She’s the woman he danced with at the club. Tiffany is her name. I think.
Ignacio smiles but looks preoccupied. The woman in front of him is all but doing jumping jacks to get his attention.
Max sits at a table, talking with his dining companions. I assume the vacant chair next to him is for Tom.
“Willis is waiting for me. Try to have a good time, dear.” Marie pats my shoulder.
Bryan has a lot of business associates. The women are wearing gowns and dresses of different lengths and colors. The men are dressed in black tuxedos of various styles.
I continue to search the room until I see him.
Bryan is talking to a raven-haired woman in a shiny silver dress too short to be called a cocktail dress. Her body language screams, I’ll gladly screw you in this room full of people if that pleases you.
The Horny Toads could learn from her. She has his complete attention.
I check the room again to make sure those Toads are not here. Their antics are the last thing I need tonight.
The buffet table is to the left. I escort the girls over to it. The selections are mouth-watering. I haven’t eaten all day. My breakfast was ruined... Never mind, I won’t dwell on this morning.
While I help the girls put food on their plates, a hand touches the small of my back. My body stiffens and the hand retracts as if burned.
“You are beautiful, Dani,” he whispers.
Kourtney and Emma turn around.
“Wow. Girls.” He kisses their cheeks. “You guys look like princesses.”
“Daddy, what happened to your lip?”
I turn and look at him, fighting the smile of pride threatening to break free. Yeah, Daddy, tell them how much of a jerk you are.
“I played a little too rough with a friend,” he tells her, and his eyes briefly look my way.
“You look nice, Bryan.” Kourtney nods appreciatively.
He turns around like a model on the runway, giving us a three-sixty view of him in his tux.
“Come on, girls, I see three open seats.” I walk away from the buffet table, happy someone chose that moment to stop and chat with him.
“Are these seats taken?” I ask the couple sitting at the table.
“No. They are not. Please sit. Join us.” He rises out of his seat.
A waiter brings me a glass of wine and lemonade for the girls once we’re settled at the table. The centerpiece is made of three big, shiny red balls stuffed with holly leaves and berries. The laser-engraved message reads, Happy Holidays from Hawkeye Close Personal Protection.
“You are exquisite.” The gentleman stares at me.
“Thank you. Your wife is beautiful too.”
The woman offers me a quick nod, but her eyes watch the room.
“Excuse me, sir. I like your accent. Where are you from?” Kourtney smiles at him.
“I’m from Saudi Arabia.”
“Really!” She sits up in her chair.
Oh boy, here we go.
“Did you know Saudi Arabia has the world’s largest sand desert and you have a king, not a president like we do?” Everything she’s ever read about his country will be the topic over dinner. “Why aren’t you wearing your traditional robes?”
I give him an apologetic smile. Kourtney can be a walking, talking wealth of knowledge and endless chatter when the topic interests her.
“For security reasons, when I travel, I dress in business attire.” He looks around like a spy in a movie. He beckons with his index finger. “Can you keep a secret?”
Kourtney and Emma lean in, nodding like bobble-head dolls.
“I am Jawad bin Ali Al Omran. Crowned Prince of Saudi Arabia,” he whispers.
Kourtney’s fork drops to her plate. For once, my child is stunned silent.
I spittle in my glass of wine, slam it on the table, thankful the glass didn’t break, and reach for my wrap off the back of the chair, covering my chest. I don’t want to offend Bryan’s guest.
“How do you ride a camel?”
Emma’s question makes him rear back and laugh.
His laughter is infectious, soon the whole table is laughing with him.
“Danielle, you do not have to cover for my sake. I understand American women do not cover themselves like they are required to in my country. Your appearance does not offend me.”
I keep my wrap on anyway.
Wait! We haven’t introduced ourselves.
“How do you know my name
?”
His indulgent smile piques my interest. “I make it my business to know beautiful women.”
Kourtney and Emma begin to riddle him with questions, preventing me from finding out how he knows who I am.
Emma’s interested in the horses and camels and any other animals associated with his country. Kourtney’s interested in the land and the government. Her inquiries about the king, surprise me.
Prince Jawad answers their questions, even the one about why he’s allowed to so have many wives. Their conversation isn’t interrupted by the dishes being taken away, or by the delicious desserts served.
“I see you’ve met my girls.” Bryan stands above me.
The prince looks at me, his eyes hiding something.
“Yes, I have, Mr. Hawk. I find her charming and lovely.”
Bryan comes around to stand next to me. I gaze up at him.
“She’s stunning,” he says, not taking his eyes off me.
The girls giggle.
Tension creeps into my body as his hand hovers over my shoulders, but he doesn’t touch me.
“I’ve had the pleasure of dining with your three beautiful girls.”
“Formal introductions are not needed then.” That is the voice of a possessive alpha male.
“You must bring them with you on your next travels to my country. They will be my guests. I would love for them to experience my culture and traditions firsthand.” His eyes shift to me then back to Bryan.
“It will be awhile before I travel East.” Bryan’s tone drips of a warning.
“Perhaps they can travel without you. I would be more than happy to arrange it and they will be safe with me.”
There’s more going on than an invitation to Saudi Arabia.
“If you’ll excuse us, Prince Jawad, there are people I want to introduce them to.” Bryan pulls out my chair offering his hand.
I rise unassisted.
Bryan walks over and pulls out Kourtney’s and Emma’s chairs too.
The prince stands, taking my hand in his. His lips brush my knuckles. “It was a pleasure, Danielle. I hope to see you again. Soon.” He turns, bowing to Kourtney and Emma.
I was expecting Bryan to throw a punch. Instead he leads us away from the table.