Deep Surrendering: Episode Eleven

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  He seemed like he was trying to make up his mind to kiss me or not.

  “You can kiss me, you know. That’s definitely allowed. Actually, it’s encouraged.” I shifted closer and ran my hands down the sides of his face and let them rest on his shoulders. Fin really had the most wonderful shoulders. He liked to exercise, but they weren’t too big. Just right. Just right for me.

  “I know I can kiss you. I want to kiss you. But I have all these images of you in my head wearing those shoes and nothing else with your legs in the air and I know if I kiss you, I’m going to want you to fulfill that fantasy and that doesn’t seem like the best idea.” I groaned and pulled away from him.

  “You know, this no sex thing would be a lot easier if you didn’t say things like that and get me all fired up. I mean, I’m fired up already just being with you, but that just makes it worse.” I never thought it would be so hard to say no to someone.

  He pressed his lips together and leaned back.

  “You’re right. Again. You have got to stop doing that.” I sighed like it was a big imposition.

  “I would if I could.”

  He smiled and started clearing up the mess leftover from our breakfast. That was a good idea. Put some space between us. Keep his hands busy. Hands that he could use to…

  And I had to stop doing that. Thinking about all the things he could be doing. The things that he could be doing to me. Behind me. On top of me…

  Fin cleared his throat and I realized I’d been checking out his ass.

  “Can you blame me? It’s pretty spectacular,” I said, my hands itching to reach out and grab onto it with both hands.

  “So I probably shouldn’t do this,” he said, slowly backing up and twitching his hips a little.

  “Tease. You’re a terrible tease!” I groaned, covering my eyes with a pillow. God, it was good having him here.

  “Hey, I’m only giving it back to you. I owe you for all the times you’ve done it to me.” I dropped the pillow and glared at him.

  “I could make things really awful for you if I wanted to,” I said. “You don’t want to push your luck with me, mister.” He looked at me over his shoulder.

  “I think I can handle myself, Miss Everly.” I laughed at the double meaning.

  “Well, you’re going to have to handle yourself for the foreseeable future, remember?” I held both hands up and wiggled my fingers. Playing with him like this was fun, I had to admit. Maybe this holding off on sex was going to work in my favor.

  His eyes narrowed and he pointed at me.

  “You are trouble.”

  “I know.”

  Fin and I hung out for a little while longer, but I had to leave to get to the spa to get myself ready for the ball. I pretended to pose for a “before” shot so he could take a mental picture.

  “I’ll pick you up at six,” he said, leaning in to kiss my cheek. He lingered near my lips, but didn’t kiss them. Instead he grinned and tapped my nose with his finger.

  “Until tonight, Marisol.” Now who was the tease? I shook my head at him as he walked out and he grinned back at me, very pleased with himself.

  In addition to getting my hair done, Chloe had also booked me for a manicure, a pedicure and a face mask. She wasn’t working today, but she’d left me a note that everything was on the house. I didn’t know what kind of strings she’d pulled to make that happen, but I had the feeling I was going to find out when she came to collect the favor I owed her.

  I relaxed in the chair as the technician massaged my feet and then set them in the foot spa again. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face.

  “I hear you’re going to a ball tonight,” the technician said. Most of the time I preferred not to make conversation when I was getting my nails done, but I wanted to burst with happiness and tell everyone about it.

  “Yes. My boyfriend just got back from a work trip so it’s one of our first nights out together.” I closed my lips so I wouldn’t babble on.

  “Oh, that sounds like fun. What’s your dress like?” She seemed genuinely interested and not just making conversation to get a better tip, or because she was required to, so I described the dress as she pumiced my feet and then started painting my nails. I went with a neutral color, even though my feet wouldn’t show in the shoes, and matched it on my nails.

  For my hair I went with it half-up and curled loosely. I could just picture Fin running his hands through them and then tugging on my hair as he pulled me into a secret alcove so we could make out and do other things that were definitely forbidden, but oh so good.

  “What do you think?” the hairdresser said for the second time. I’d gotten lost in a lustful daydream again. I looked at myself in the mirror and turned my head to the side and then stood up to check out the back with the hand mirror she gave to me.

  “It’s perfect.” The last thing was my makeup and I stuck with classic red lips and smoky eyes. By the time I was done, I had to rush to Sloane’s studio to put on the dress before Fin picked me up.

  Rory, Chloe and Sloane already had their dresses on.

  “What took you so long?” Sloane was frazzled, but gorgeous, as always. Her black hair shone like liquid down her back. Rory and Chloe were stunning as well. I had hot friends.

  “Sorry, sorry.” The studio was empty, so I quickly stripped down to the strapless bra and seamless underwear. They all helped me step into the dress and Sloane zipped it up before tugging and pulling to make sure it was hanging in the right places and didn’t show anything it wasn’t supposed to show.

  “Smile,” Rory said, holding up her phone. I was already smiling as she took the picture. Then we all got together and took the obligatory duck-face selfie that Rory promised not to share on social media. I hoped she kept that promise.

  We all gathered in front of the mirror to make last-minute adjustments.

  “I would just like to say that if I’d just met any one of you, I would want to bang you,” Chloe said and I rolled my eyes.

  “I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Rory said as someone knocked on the metal studio door. Sloane went to get it and in walked Rory’s redhead, Lucah Blythe. He wasn’t my type, but I had to admit that he definitely looked good. Rory put her arms around him and instead of kissing her, he whispered something in her ear that made her smack him on the arm.

  “Yeah, yeah. Enough of that. Turn around and smile,” Sloane said, holding up her phone. Rory and Lucah both turned and flashed dazzling smiles. “Okay, now do the prom pose.” Then Sloane asked them to do a whole variety of silly poses, which they did. As they were pretending to tango, there was another knock and I rushed to slide open the door to find my own dark prince.

  He took my breath away. He’d gone to extremes with the theme, donning a black tux, and black shirt; the only white being his silk tie. I had to stop myself from licking my lips. God, he looked good enough to eat.

  “You’re doing it again,” he said with a smirk.

  “Can’t help it. You look like a dream and a nightmare at the same time.” That was a good way to describe him, actually. A dream and a nightmare wrapped into one person.

  “So do you,” he said, brushing his hand across my shoulder and causing me to shiver with his touch.

  “Hey! Pictures,” Sloane called out to us and I let him in. Eventually we had to cut Sloane off or we’d be late.

  “Not to pat myself on the back, but can I sew or can I sew?” she said, beaming. Sure, I got a free dress, but Sloane got more out of this deal than we did. I’d wear anything she sewed because it made her so damn happy.

  “You definitely can sew,” Rory said, leaning against Lucah as we walked toward the limo we were sharing.

  “I just wish…” she said, trailing off and looking into the distance, like she was looking for something. Or someone. Rory gave her a look and Lucah got a little red and cleared his throat. I didn’t know what that was about, but I had my suspicions it had something to do with his brother and Sloane. I didn’t know the de
tails, but I was definitely curious. I made a note to ask Sloane about it later.

  We all piled in and of course there was champagne. Sloane nearly lost her mind when Lucah poured it out for fear one of us would get something on her dress.

  “Calm down. I know you have stain wipes in your purse,” Rory said. Sloane didn’t really get uptight except when it concerned her designs. Then she was like an overprotective parent.

  “Still. No one is allowed to spill. There will be no spilling!” She pointed an accusing finger at each of us.

  “She can be kind of intense,” Fin said softly in my ear, so low that Sloane couldn’t hear. I moved closer to him and he started stroking my bare shoulder. If the limo wasn’t full of my friends, I probably would have tortured him a little bit, but we had chaperones.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he whispered. “But remember the rule, my girlfriend?” Stupid rule.

  “Do you?” I whispered back, nudging his leg a little with mine. We had so many eyes on us that it was nearly impossible to do anything without being seen.

  “You. Are. Trouble,” he said, pinching my shoulder just a little bit. I nearly yelped when he did it, but was able to stop myself.

  I turned to face him. “And don’t you forget it, my boyfriend.”

  We arrived at the ball and we were a little late, but that didn’t matter.

  “Now we can all make grand entrances and everyone will see us,” Sloane said. Not to mention, they’d see her designs. It was definitely in her favor to make sure her designs were seen. You never knew what could turn into a networking opportunity, and Sloane had a way of talking people into things and making them think it was their idea in the first place.

  She went first, followed by Chloe and then Fin and me.

  “I want to watch you walk down,” he said. I’d thought we were going in together. He tried to pull away from me, but I wouldn’t let him go.

  “No way. I’ll walk down again later, if you want the full effect, but you’re not letting me go down these stairs in front of all those people by myself right now.” I wasn’t worried about tripping, just having all those eyeballs on me.

  He sighed, but he came back.

  “As you wish, girlfriend,” he said with a smile on his face.

  “I promise to walk down again later.” I clung to him as we walked down the stairs and it wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be. Most people were so busy talking and drinking and munching on the appetizers that they didn’t even look up. Still, I was glad when I reached the bottom step. I looked back to see Lucah pretty much jogging down the stairs behind us. He stopped at the bottom and then looked up expectantly.

  “See?” Fin said, holding me close.

  Rory ascended the stairs with a smile on her face, her eyes locked on the man waiting at the bottom for her. He held his hand out and she took it and I didn’t think I’d ever seen her so happy.

  “Okay, okay,” I said, hiking up my dress a bit. “Stay here.” I trekked up the stairs again and then turned around and descended. Oh. Fin was right.

  I watched his face as I walked down and he was… awestruck. Like he was seeing me in the dress again for the first time. I bit my lip as I got down to the last step and stood in front of Fin, looking up at him.

  “Now wasn’t that worth it, love?” he said, stroking the side of my face.

  “Totally,” I said as I took his arm and he led me to the bar so we could get a drink. I didn’t need one. I was drunk already. Drunk on being with the man I loved more than I could put into words. Drunk on the beautiful dress and the hair and Fin in his black tux. Happiness bubbled inside me and I wondered if it would always be like this. I hoped so.

  We shared some drinks and had a few bites to eat and then it was time for dancing.

  “I’m sure you’re good at this too, but I’m a little rusty, so go easy on me,” I said. He grabbed my hand and spun me around and then back into his arms.

  “Never.” One of his arms went around my waist and the other clasped my hand. As if they’d timed it perfectly, the orchestra started up a new song and then I was gliding across the floor with Fin. I would never underestimate his ability to lead me around a dance floor. His steps never faltered and just being with him made me a better dancer.

  “Wow,” I said, gazing up at him. His eyes were locked on my face.

  “What?”

  “Just… you. Everything. Us.” I loved saying the last word. Because now I knew it was real. No more questions or wondering if things were going to fall apart, or worrying that I wasn’t going to hear from him again. He was here and he was mine and I was his and I wanted to scream and cry and spin in circles.

  “You are so unbelievably lovely. Tonight and every night.” Being with him made me feel beautiful. With Fin I felt like I was the very best version of myself. Strong and confident, but silly and young and just… happy.

  “And you make me unbelievably happy.”

  “Good,” he said, pulling me closer so my head rested against his chest. We slowed our movements until we were just slow dancing, swaying back and forth. “My goal in life is to make you happy and keep you that way.”

  “Hey, that’s my goal,” I said. “Only in reverse. My goal is to make you happy and keep you that way.”

  “It’s good that we have similar goals. It means we’re compatible.” In a lot of ways, we weren’t compatible. We were two very different people, but somehow together we made sense.

  “Fin?” I asked, lifting my head up.

  “Yes, Marisol.”

  “Will you dip me?” He beamed and the next thing I knew I was looking at him from a different angle.

  “You’re so good at everything,” I said before he pulled me upright again.

  “The only thing I care about is being good at being with you.”

  After dancing until my feet started to hurt, we mingled. Rory’s parents were here and they fussed over Fin, but they seemed happy when he introduced me as his girlfriend. Rory’s mother even gave me a hug and said if Fin couldn’t be with Rory, then I was her second choice. I took that as a compliment.

  There was more drinking and I started feeling relaxed and warm. And turned on. That black tux was like a match to my libido and I knew by the end of the night I was going to be taking it off him. Or watching him take it off. Either way, he’d be taking it off and we’d see where things went from there.

  Fin wouldn’t stop touching me. Of course he had to touch me when we were dancing, but he didn’t let go when we stopped. Either his hand was on my back, or my shoulder, or he was stroking my hair.

  “Your very handsy this evening, Fin Herald. It’s making me think you’re having trouble keeping your rule.” He kept his face blank.

  “Not at all. I just like having you near me.” His jaw twitched just the tiniest bit and I smiled to myself. But really, I was having my own little struggle. We were hopeless, he and I.

  “I like that too. I’d like it even more if we could be nearer.” I slid my hand in his and pulled him away from the bar and toward the bathrooms. I’d investigated earlier and found that off the main room there were several others for different functions. They must hold a lot of weddings here because each room had a different feel and could accommodate quite a crowd.

  “Marisol,” Fin said, a warning in his voice. But he didn’t stop me from dragging him into the library. I knew this was the perfect place when I found it earlier. It looked almost exactly like the library in “Beauty and the Beast”, with bookshelves covering the walls and balconies to reach the higher ones. I led him past several sitting areas to a large leather couch situated in front of a massive window. The curtains were closed tonight, so no one would see us. I’d carefully locked the door behind us, but there was still the possibility of someone walking in and that turned me on even more.

  “Marisol,” Fin said again as I put both hands on his chest and pushed him backward until his legs hit the couch and he was forced to sit.

  “Fin,
” I said, matching his tone. “You know you want this. I want this. It’s silly to deny ourselves. I haven’t given you a proper welcome home and tonight it’s happening. We can go back to no sex tomorrow. But tonight, I can’t help myself.” I wanted to dive right on top of him, but I resisted. I was going to torture him just a tiny bit first. I turned slowly in a circle, letting him appreciate the view.

  “Sloane really does know how to make a dress, doesn’t she?” I said, looking at him over my shoulder.

  “I’m more interested in the woman inside the dress,” he said, leaning forward a little, hunger in his eyes. Oh, I had him now. I was intoxicated with the heady power of owning him. Fin might be a control freak, but right now, he was mine. I had the power.

  Sloane was going to kill me for this, but I reached for the zipper and pulled it down and then pushed the dress down until it fell on the floor, pockets of air making the fabric flutter. She’d really done an impeccable job. But then I pushed the dress aside with my foot and stood in front of Fin in just my bra and panties. And my silver shoes. Before I could do anything else, Fin was on his feet. He seized my arms, hard.

  “You are in so much trouble,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. I wasn’t afraid. I’d met this side of him before. I loved this side of him just as much as the flirty, silly guy who brought me breakfast this morning and shook his ass in my face.

  “Am I? Are you going to punish me?” I felt so dirty saying those words and it was good. So good.

  “Yes, I’m going to punish you,” he said, sliding his hand down my front and slipping it into my panties. Instantly, I had to reach out and steady myself. He stroked down my center and I thought I was going to combust from just that. It had been a while and I was already close to the edge.

  I moaned and he stroked me again. He was barely doing anything and it was driving me wild. I probably should have sat on the couch, but it was too late now. He got down on his knees and slowly pulled my panties down and then helped me step out of them. I still had my bra on, but he hadn’t told me to take it off, so I left it on.