Taking Summer

by Emily Bishop

  “Hello back, buddy,” I muttered.

  I grabbed hold of the horse’s brush and began stroking Crook, shaking off loose hairs.

  Summer was so close to me I could hear her breathe. But she remained still at my side.

  As I finished the task, I began padding Crook’s back and then slipped the saddle on, strapping it in extra tightly for Summer.

  The tense silence stretched on until I couldn’t take it any longer.

  “I get why you might be mad. The fact that I’ve been keeping things from you isn’t good. But have you ever stopped to consider there is a reason why I’m not ready to disclose parts of myself? It doesn’t make me a liar, Summer. It just means you’ll need a bit more patience with me, that’s all.” The words rolled off my tongue, lifting the weight that had anchored me down all morning.

  As I tightened the last buckle, Summer’s hand met mine on the saddle.

  The electric current was back, threading us together.

  “Get me up, will you?” Summer asked gently.

  Her green eyes glowed with warmth. The anger was gone.

  So I did. I rested my hands against her waist and lifted her small frame up, and she mounted Crook like a natural.

  Summer looked down at me now, beaming. “I’m taller than you for once,” she joked, before adding, “I’m a patient woman, James. I’d like to think I’ve been nothing but understanding with you. Through all your mood swings and your brush-offs, I’ve worked through them because I’ve seen something in you I really like. But James, what Bruna said yesterday…that really scared me. It made me realize I don’t really know you that well at all. It took me by surprise, that’s all. I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I shut down and turned to anger instead. I’m sorry if that was childish of me, or if I overreacted. The truth is, we barely know each other, so obviously I don’t expect you to open up completely to me. There are parts of me I’ve kept to myself as well.”

  Her words sunk in, calming my racing pulse.

  It was in that moment that I realized I might actually be falling for this woman. Hard.

  Gulping, suddenly I found it very difficult to speak.

  Summer prompted me. “Are you going to stand there ogling me till sunset or do we have work to do?” Her eyes danced in happiness and mischief as she looked down at me.

  I couldn’t help but smile. She was using my earlier words against me.

  Recovering quickly, I said, “Right on it. But first, are you sure you know how to ride a horse?”

  Summer stared down at me, clearly peeved, and then threw her head back and laughed. “Er, maybe I was exaggerating earlier about my confidence, but how hard can it be, right?”

  Chapter 11

  Summer

  This was impossible.

  Clutching at the reins for dear life, I flashed James my most carefree smile, as if I knew exactly what I was doing.

  Concentrate, Summer. Just do what they do in the movies. If that elf in Lord of the Rings could do it, galloping majestically through those woods, then so could I.

  “Come on, Crook, don’t let me down,” I muttered.

  Crook grunted in reply.

  See, we were all friends here.

  To be honest, I was finding it even harder to concentrate with the sight of James on his horse looking like a true medieval prince.

  Why was he so good-looking?

  It was hard not to open-mouthed gape at him. And the best part of it was that he had no idea how handsome he was.

  It was ridiculous, really, to be that good looking and not have a flying clue.

  I was brought back to the task at hand.

  James had just checked the fifth fence post to ensure it was shut.

  Ronaldo being born was one thing…but this, this was incredibly boring.

  I bit back a yawn building up inside me.

  Reading my thoughts, James barked at me, “Pay attention, Summer.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “Yes, professor.”

  He turned his head toward me. “Tone it down. Unless you want a lone cow to escape through the wires and run into a family, god forbid.”

  Touché.

  I suppressed back another urge to roll my eyes at him and summoned back my focus.

  Don’t fall from this horse. Don’t stare at James like a gushing teenager. Don’t fall asleep. Don’t think about food yet.

  It was too much, really.

  I yawned again, and James huffed. “You’re impossible,” he joked.

  He pulled at Tikko, commanding him to turn back, when suddenly we were interrupted by a loud rumbling noise that cut across the sky shrilly. It sounded awfully like an approaching helicopter.

  James turned to me with his mouth open as if to warn me, but it was too late.

  Crook neighed so loudly it sounded like a screeching siren, and then he plunged forward, breaking into a full gallop.

  I stumbled and careened dangerously close to falling over but managed to grab onto Crook’s neck at the very last second.

  All I had time for was a quick cuss, as Crook ploughed onward, racing to our doom.

  The wind whipped at my face, snarling, whispering at me to fall. I looked down at the swirling treacherous ground rushing past me in a blur. The uninvited adrenaline surged through my blood, and my heart exploded in a patter of beats.

  My hands were slipping against Crook’s neck, yet he didn’t care. He continued galloping as if his life depended on it.

  My skin chaffed against the saddle, and I cried out in fear.

  I realized there and then that if I fell, that would be it. I’d most probably end up dead.

  The thought alone crippled me.

  Not again. I couldn’t live through this a second time around.

  He shouted in the background, but I blotted it out.

  My breathing got shallower, and an impending panic attack was approaching me, threatening to take me under at the very worst second.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and fought against the nausea and anxiety. I started to count to ten in Spanish, just like last time.

  Uno. Dos. Tres. Cuatro—

  Crook neighed again, and this time he rose up, up, up. In the last millisecond, I grabbed on to the hanging reins and gripped for life.

  And then Crook stomped back on the ground and continued galloping.

  My resolve weakened. I didn’t know if I could hold for much longer.

  In that very moment, a blur of motion caught my attention.

  Cracking my eyes open, I spotted James by my side, on Tikko’s back.

  His entire face was etched in concern and concentration. He reached out with his arm and shouted, “Grab hold of my arm.”

  Shocked, I tore my gaze away from James momentarily to assess the situation. We were riding at full speed, and Crook was getting more and more restless. I had no option but to trust that James would catch me.

  Hesitating, I looked at James’s outstretched hand, and he caught my fear.

  “I won’t let you fall, Summer.”

  Trusting him with my life, I let out a yell and then grabbed his arm.

  In one swift motion, James swung me onto Tikko’s back, and I instantly wrapped my arms around him tightly.

  “I got you, Summer, I got you.” James kept murmuring to me, his voice shaking at the edges.

  As the shock rolled off my shoulders, silent tears followed, pouring out of me instantly, and a sudden urge seized me to get back on the ground.

  Reading my thoughts, Tikko slowed down until he came to a complete halt and James climbed down off the horse. He was by my side in a second, scooping me down and into his strong arms, into safety.

  As James set me on the ground, my legs wobbled and then almost caved, but James caught me in the nick of time, steadying me. His arms never left mine.

  “Are you feeling dizzy?” James’s question was laced in panic, as he scanned over me frantically for injuries.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think.
<
br />   The sobs came then, an onslaught of distress racking my entire body.

  Without thinking, I buried my head in his chest, overwhelmed with horror.

  “It’s OK, Summer. Hey, you’re OK.” I breathed in his familiar musky scent, feeling his fingers caress my hair and then finally my face. He tilted my chin upwards until our eyes locked, a torrent of pain, apprehension and torment blending into one.

  “Fuck, Summer for a second I didn’t know if I could get to you in time. I thought I was going to lose—" James’s voice broke again in distress, and his tortured eyes battled to take back control over the emotion washing over him. Seeing him struggle like that produced a fresh round of tears.

  “For a second there, I thought I was going to be toast.” I finally found my voice, but it was pathetically weak and raspy.

  I had escaped death once, and this…this felt too familiar. To real.

  The memories flooded in then, in the precise moment when I hung onto sanity like a straw.

  Stranded on a mountain.

  Bleeding from a head wound.

  Almost losing my life in the middle Maroon Bells in Colorado.

  My then boyfriend, Carlos, who was barely able to save my life.

  “Hey, hey.” I was brought back to the present by James’s large hands that captured my cheek and guided me back to him and his stormy sea blue gaze.

  “Where did you go?” he asked gently, his entire face etched in torment. Gently, he reached over and caught a tear that trickled down my face.

  “I thought I was going to die. Again,” I muttered, sniffling.

  I registered the surprise that flickered past James’s eyes.

  Slowly he exhaled. “I had no idea, Summer.” I watched the battle raging through him, the struggle to digest what I had just told him.

  Our moment was broken by Atohi who rode directly towards us, with no one other than Crook.

  Shocked, I watched as the stallion came to a halt.

  “I saw this guy wondering around the stables, with his saddle still on and everything. I had a horrible feeling—"

  Atohi abruptly stopped speaking when I caught his attention. His eyes widened in comprehension.

  “Shit, Summer, were you riding Crook earlier?”

  I probably looked as bad as I felt.

  I attempted to smile, but my next words came out all choked. “It was more like Crook rode me. He went a little crazy at the sound of a helicopter.”

  “Are you OK?” Atohi’s question rang in my mind.

  Yeah, I was just peachy. Almost died at the hands—er, hooves—of Crook, but yup, I was golden.

  Thankfully, James jumped in for me. “She’ll be fine. She’s just a bit shaken. Thanks, man, for grabbing hold of Crook. I was about to get him myself. How’s he doing?”

  “A little shaken, but other than that, right as rain. I was just going to return him to the stables. Summer, believe it or not I’ve had an episode with Crook as well. When I first started working here, actually. He almost kicked me from behind. It was a very close call.”

  Atohi’s admission grabbed my attention. I locked my gaze with the young man’s calm and gentle eyes. Something inside me softened.

  I smiled at him, half-heartedly. “I guess we’ve both faced Crook’s wrath and lived to tell the tale.”

  Atohi chuckled. “I guess we have. I’m going to return him now. If you guys need anything else, just radio in, ok?”

  James patted the walkie-talkie in his jeans pocket. “Right on. Thanks for that, Atohi. Meet you at the house for lunch?”

  Atohi nodded and then kicked Crook into a gallop, back out across the fields.

  James turned his attention toward me, his expression pained, and then he leaned down and kissed me.

  I tingled as his tongue slipped in dominantly to taste me.

  Holy shit, how he kissed me.

  He kissed with softness and passion, all in one, calming my anxiety and stamping out all fears of dying. His body pressed against mine, and the heat between us surged. His fingers rested against the nape of my neck as he drew me in possessively.

  Our heads tilted together in perfect sync as the kiss deepened, transcending borders.

  It went on and on until a whimper built up inside me and I was seconds away from shredding my clothes and giving myself to him, completely and unreservedly. But James stopped.

  He rested his head against mine and breathed in sharply, inhaling all of me.

  “Let’s go back inside, get you something to eat. You’re in shock. You need to process all of this.”

  I didn’t want to leave this moment. I wanted him now.

  I pouted, but I knew it was insanity to have him here like this in broad daylight amongst cattle and the wind.

  Tikko neighed softly, breaking James’s hold over me.

  “You OK to get back on the horse? I promise I got you,” James murmured in my ear, and I shivered in delight.

  It took me a couple of moments to collect myself again.

  “I trust you.”

  I realized there and then that I truly did trust him. With my life. James had proven to me, time and time again, that he had me.

  *

  James waited a full hour before broaching the subject of my previous near-death experience.

  I was wrapped up in his arms, facing the large French windows overlooking his ranch from his bedroom, calm at last.

  James bent down and planted a kiss on my head, before the question slipped out of him cautiously. “You mentioned earlier that you had a near-death experience before? I understand if you’re not ready to talk about it.”

  I looked through the glass, on toward the sun hanging high up against the sky. Endless greenery surrounded us.

  It was time to talk about it.

  I had spent years shoveling that part of my past away, deep inside, burying it under layers of myself until I thought it couldn’t reach me.

  But the past had a way of catching up to you when you least expected it.

  It certainly came back in its full glory today, reminding me that no amount of yoga and meditation could wipe the slate clean.

  James stirred in my arms, reminding me that his question hung in the air.

  Inhaling deeply, I unsealed the deepest part of me.

  “Hiking was in my blood for a long time. Growing up in Colorado, it was a given to take up the outdoorsy sport. Whenever I had the chance, I’d pack up my shit and head to the mountains. One day, I went on a hike with my then-boyfriend, Carlos. We set off in the morning from our campsite, and we were walking down through a particularly tricky rocky patch when I slipped on a boulder and literally fell down. I fell into this crevice gap thing. The rest I don’t remember fully…just bits and pieces.” I hesitated, uncertain whether I wanted to continue.

  Just opening this up brought my heartbeat up, and bile rose up my throat.

  James found my hand and clasped it in his, stroking my fingers gently.

  My stomach danced underneath his touch.

  “It’s OK,” he said, soothing me.

  I exhaled and pushed on. “Apparently, it took Carlos an hour just to get down and reach me. He attracted the attention of another group of hikers who came by and helped. I was semi-conscious, but I had hit my head against the rocks. My left leg was broken. I remember Carlos forced me to count to ten in Spanish as a way for me to hang on to consciousness. They managed to get a helicopter in, and I was flown in to the nearest hospital. I was in a coma for ten days. Everyone thought I wasn’t going to make it. There was talk of brain damage… doctors weren’t sure if my spine was affected by the fall. Luckily my backpack protected me from the brunt of the hit, but there was no way of knowing. Let’s just say the prognosis wasn’t looking good for me. But I survived. I’m here today.”

  I forced a smile then, but James saw right through it. He melted under my gaze, his eyes swimming in sadness.

  He raised a hand and stroked my hair and then my face until finally his fingers rested on
my lips.

  “You’re a survivor. And so goddamn strong. That’s the first thing I noticed about you. The way you carry yourself with unwavering strength. Your positive energy. It amazes me, how after everything you experienced, you’re still here, alive and kicking. Literally.” James smiled at that, and I responded to his smile, losing myself into him.

  “Yeah I guess I am. Obviously it’s not a part of my past I like bringing up often. Today certainly aggravated those memories. But I’m OK. Thanks to you.” Without meaning to, I began to cry again, tears slipping down my cheeks stubbornly.

  For a long time, James didn’t speak. When he did, he couldn’t look at me. Instead, he focused on an invisible spot through the window, withdrawing into himself.

  “I can’t help but think I shouldn’t have let you ride Crook today. I know how unpredictable he is. If you hadn’t been on that horse—"

  “No, James.” I cut him off.

  He wasn’t going to guilt-trip himself with this. It had been my stubbornness that led me into today’s situation.

  “You warned me, multiple times, about Crook. I just didn’t listen. Like an idiot. I wanted to prove something. I don’t even know what, to be honest. I’m at a loss on that one. But don’t you dare blame yourself for this.” The words came out firmly.

  He had to understand that this wasn’t on him.

  Still, James refused to look at me, so I did the one thing that would grab his attention. I grabbed his hand and rested it against my breast.

  James jolted his head to meet mine on impact, his eyes widening in lust.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, arching his eyebrows.

  “I want you to witness how you make me feel. See, here.” I guided his hand closer to my racing heartbeat.

  His eyes narrowed as his palm found my pulse.

  His gaze darkened and his lips parted as his eyes roamed down to my mouth.

  This time, I leaned in and kissed him, inviting him in.

  He responded in possessiveness, and our tongues met halfway again.

  James broke the kiss momentarily, and I was about to sulk, until he dove back in, kissing the corner of my lips, my cheeks, my neck…

  Oh my word, that felt good.

  My toes tingled as he consumed my skin, creating a fresh round of tremors that aggravated a moan inside me.