by Bec Botefuhr
We laugh, joke and I drink red wine as we prepare the roast together. Jeff tells me about his life as a biker and how much trouble he got himself into. He tells me about Caden’s Mom, and how she ran off because she couldn’t handle it.
“It must have been hard,” I say, munching on a piece of raw carrot.
“It was. I was a biker; I didn’t know how to raise a boy.”
“You did a good job, he is a sweetheart.”
Caden snorts and gives me a look.
“Don’t let the men hear you say that.”
I smile because I know how different Caden is with me and that makes me happy. “Ok, he is a potty mouth and he is rough as guts sometimes, but he is still sweet all the same.”
“He is like the dark side of sweet right?”
“Something like that,” I grin at Caden. He returns it with a wink.
“So, you two are serious then?”
“Fuck yeah. This one ain’t getting away,” Caden says, nudging me with his hip.
“Oh yeah?” I say, with a challenge.
“Yeah, you try and run and I’ll catch you…I will always find you Angel.”
“I have no doubt.”
We sit down to a delicious roast lamb, with roasted vegetables and garlic bread. The conversation flows easily, and the night is going well until we hear a ruckus next door. Shooting a glance at Jeff, Caden stands.
“Stay here Angel.”
I nod, not wanting to argue and watch as the two men rush outside. I peer out the window, and I can see a group of about ten men standing in Max’s front yard. I squint and watch as they throw curses at challenges out to Max’s club.
“Come on out here, it’s time to settle this.”
“Fuck right off Dragon; we ain’t got nothin’ to say to you.”
“Ah look son, it’s Jeff’s boy…”
I watch as the younger man beside the leader turns and glares at Caden.
“Chief, you fuckin’ slime bag! What the fuck are you doin’ back?”
“Get lost Demon, ain’t got nothin’ to say to you.”
“Bullshit you don’t, you and me have a match to play out.”
“No, we don’t.”
“I saw you chattin’ with my fuckin’ woman. She said you put your hands down her pants you fuckin’ bastard.”
Caden appears unaffected but I can tell from the tick in his cheek that he is beginning to get annoyed. “So what Demon, she opened her fuckin’ legs.”
“You fuckin’ stay away from Clarice, if I see you lay another hand on her…”
“Fuck off, get outta this yard before I give you a reason to stay.”
“Bring it.”
Demon steps forward and throws a punch, narrowly missing Caden’s face. Caden retaliates quickly; driving his fist into Demon’s mouth. Demon hisses and grips Caden around the neck, driving two punches into his face. I cup my mouth and cry out, but I know I can’t go out there. Why isn’t anyone doing anything? Caden moves and somehow manages to get hold of Demon. Throwing another four punches he lands them, causing the man’s lip to split and spurt blood.
Max and the crew are suddenly there, they all hold guns and I feel my heart stutter to an abrupt halt. Clearly outnumbered, the other gang hiss a bunch of curses and get on their bikes; speeding off. I stare at Caden, who stands talking with Max for a long while afterwards. My heart hurts; he was with another woman? He said he was only with Dani…was he lying again? When he reappears inside, I stare at him with a pained look.
“Who was that?”
“That was Demon, his Father runs the enemy club. He doesn’t like me.”
“Why? Did you sleep with his girlfriend?”
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, “No, I didn’t.”
“So what’s the story? Why does he hate you so much?”
Caden rubs his red hand over his face, bringing them to rest underneath his chin. “It was a day or two after I broke it off with Dani. I was at a party and this girl kept following me around. I didn’t know who she was, but she knew me. I got drunk, and…”
“And what? Did you have sex?”
“No, I didn’t fuck her…well…I did with my fingers.” He at least has the decency to look embarrassed.
My heart clenches; why does that hurt so much?
“I didn’t fuck her Angel, I swear it. I didn’t know who she was until Demon came after me. Now he’s started some stupid fuckin’ war against me that I’m gonna have to finish just I can get some fuckin’ peace. End of story.”
“Oh…and have you seen her again?”
“God no!” The look of surprise on his face tells me that he’s telling the truth.
“Caden, is he dangerous?”
“Yes, he is, so you be sure to keep away from him Angel.”
“You’re bleeding.”
He touches his lip and looks down at the blood on his finger. I walk into the kitchen and snag a warm wash cloth, walking back over to wipe his face. His eyes are on mine, and they don’t move until I look away. Can he see the insane jealousy in my eyes, or the hurt?
“You’re hurtin’,” he whispers.
“I…don’t like that you have been with other people. It’s irrational I know, but it hurts me.”
“I’m sorry Angel. I’m sorry that there’s nothing I can do to change the past but believe me when I say that they were all before you and that’s where they’ll stay.”
“Why do I feel like that isn’t the whole truth?”
He grips my chin, “Don’t you trust me?”
“You know I do, but you scare me…you could break me so easily…”
“You know I would never do anything to hurt you, not intentionally anyway.”
“I know.”
“Are you going to stay tonight?” He whispers, running his thumb over my lip.
“I can’t, I have a date with my Dad.”
He smiles, “How is your old man?”
“He is good, happy I think…”
“Alright, do you want me to come over after?”
I smile, “I’d like that.”
He grins and kisses me, “I will do the best I can with you Angel, and I can only give you what I know…”
“I know that,” I say, resting my cheek against his chest. “I know.”
~*~*~*~*~
After a lovely dinner with my Dad, I head home. Jaxson is out, so I get inside and lock the door while I wait for Caden. I change into a pair of pajamas and curl up on the couch to flick through the television channels. I hear my door knock an hour or so in, and I stand with a grin and rush over. I swing it open with a sexy smile on my face.
“Hey handso…”
My voice trails off when I see Dani standing at my door.
“What the hell do you want?” I snarl. This woman really does bring out the worst in me.
“I’m not here to fight with you.”
“Well why are you here?” I snap.
“I can see Caden wants you, and I can see my games aren’t working. So I’m just gonna come right out and lay shit on the line for you.”
This prospect doesn’t fill me with joy but I keep quiet and allow her to continue. This should be good.
“I’m not pregnant. I was desperate and didn’t know what else to do to get him to notice me again but he seems set on you. That being the case, I can only do the right thing and that is to tell you the truth about him.”
I feel my chest tighten. I know I don’t know her very well, but what little information I have tells me that Dani isn’t the sort of girl that does things out of the goodness of her heart. She is up to something, and I have a horrible feeling it will change everything.
“That isn’t your place,” I finally manage in a crackly voice.
“Isn’t it? You’re certain I’m the horrible person in all this; that I’m the one who is causing all the problems but you’re wrong. You’re in love with a man who is lying to you. A man who has lied to you from the start.”
; “Please, just stop.”
“You’re at least owed the truth. He should be the one to give it to you but he won’t so here I am.”
I’ve had enough now. If there’s something I need to know then Caden will tell me; I don’t have to listen to anything that comes out of this vile woman’s mouth.
“Leave.”
“Caden is basically on the run,” she blurts, as if she didn’t just hear me order her to leave.
“Excuse me? Did you not just hear me to tell you to get out?”
Dani continues, not taking any notice of me. “The only reason he hasn’t been caught, is because the police can’t get proof and the boys are protecting him.”
“I don’t…”
“He killed a woman in front of her children. Shot her right in the head.”
My body goes in to shock; I can’t comprehend this. I turn and run into the kitchen. The contents of my stomach fly out into the sink and salty tears stream down my face. I feel a presence behind me, and Dani lays a hand on my shoulder. I shove it off angrily.
“I know how much it hurts, but you have to know. They couldn’t find proof and because of the clubs protection they couldn’t make the charges stick; lucky for him. Those kids are in foster care now; their Father wanted nothing to do with them. If Caden even steps out of line, in any way, he will go to prison. They nearly had him, but he had a lucky escape.”
No…she is lying. It isn’t true. Caden wouldn’t hurt a woman, he wouldn’t.
“You’re lying…you just want me to hate him.”
She laughs a cold, cruel laugh and her once beautiful features turn ugly. “No, I’m not; ask him yourself if you don’t believe me. I might have lost Caden, but at least I knew the man I was with.”
“Get out!” I scream.
“You can hate me Princess, but I am only telling the truth. The man you love is lying to you; instead of being mad at me, perhaps you should think about that.”
She turns and walks out, and I crumble to my knees and scream. I lie curled up on the floor for the longest time; unable to lift my body from the cold tiles. My mind is numb, my body is aching. Caden wouldn’t hurt someone, he wouldn’t. Maybe it was an accident? But if it was, why didn’t he tell me? So many secrets, so many lies. This only confirms what I have feared all along…
Caden is dangerous for me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Mandy, what are you doing?”
I hear Jaxson's voice, but I don’t lift myself from the floor. I just cup my face in my hands and rock slightly. I don’t want to believe Dani but I cast my mind back to the conversation Caden and I had on the beach all those weeks ago. Me asking him if he had ever killed anyone, his sharp reaction and refusal to answer. I am completely confused and just don’t know what to think.
“Mandy, talk to me?”
As if I couldn’t feel any worse, a voice as smooth as silk calls to me from the front door. “Angel?”
Caden is here! How can I face him? I can’t even look at him right now. The thought of what he may have done repulses me and I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
“Get him out,” I whisper, not lifting my head.
“Who?” Jaxson asks, “Caden?”
“Yes, get him out of my house.”
Although I can’t see his face, I know Caden is shocked by the surprise in his voice. “Angel, what’s goin’ on?”
“Get him out!” I scream into my hands.
“Mandy, what is happening?” Jaxson asks, trying to pry my hands away from my face.
I shove him harshly and stand, my eyes fall on Caden and my stomach turns.
“I had a visitor today,” I croak.
“What?” Caden looks confused. “Who?”
“Dani came to see me.”
His face falls, “What did she fuckin’ say?”
“I will give you one opportunity to tell me the truth Caden so you’d better start spilling fast because there won’t be any second chances…”
“What did she say?” He bellows.
How dare he shout at me! In my own home! “TELL ME THE TRUTH!!” I’m near hysterical and probably look a hot mess but I don’t care.
“What truth?” he snarls. “What truth?”
“Tell me what you did; tell me, I want to hear it come from your mouth.”
His eyes widen as he clues in to what I am talking about, “I shot someone.” His voice is hardly a whisper but the words hit me as if they’d been broadcast through a megaphone.
I shake my head at him; I’m not interested in half-truths. “No, Caden, it’s more than that.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“YES IT IS!” I scream. “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME!”
“Fine,” he roars. “I killed a woman! I blew her fuckin’ brains out in front of her own kids! You fuckin’ happy?”
He’d barely finished before I lurch forward and throw up again. I keep heaving and retching until my stomach is empty and I’m exhausted.
“Get out,” Jaxson snarls. “Get the fuck out or I’m calling the cops.”
“Listen to the rest of the story!” He bellows as Jaxson grips his arm.
“Get out.” I cry, cupping my head in my hands.
Caden pleads with me but I’m done talking. “I didn’t mean it, do you hear me?”
Jaxson slams the door in his face and I fall to my knees again. Jaxson wraps his arms around me; whispering comforting words until I stop shaking and trembling.
“It’s going to be okay, everything is going to be fine.”
I lift my face to look at Jaxson. My vision is blurry and my eyes are smarting from all the tears. “How could he keep something like that from me? And worse, how could he do it?”
“I’m not trying to excuse what he did Mands but he is a biker; they’re not exactly known for their Christian behavior.”
Dropping my forehead to his chest, I take some shaky breaths. “I didn’t think he was like that…”
“I know honey. We’re going to get through this though okay. I’m here for you Mands; whatever you need.”
“It hurts Jaxson, it hurts so much.”
Wrapping his arms around me, he hugs me tight. “I know sweetie, I know.”
“How could he do something like that Jax? How could I have been so wrong about him?”
“I don’t know…” he whispers, shaking his head. “I truly do not know.”
~*~*~*~*~*
Four days pass, and I don’t see or hear from Caden. I guess his silence answers all my questions. Jaxson has been wonderful. He’s hardly left my side; even choosing to sleep in my bed with me at night and holding me when I break down. On day four, I’m sitting at home completely broken hearted when I hear a knock at my door. Jaxson answers it, and I see Max standing in the doorway. I look away, not wanting to see him or any of the club members. Jaxson attempts to block Max, but I know as well as he does that it’ll be useless.
“I need to see her.” Max’s voice is
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jaxson snaps.
I can sense Max growing impatient. “Chief is missing, I need to see her.”
Missing? My heart clenches.
“Let him in,” I say hoarsely.
Jaxson opens the door wider, and lets Max in. He walks over to the couch and sits beside me, staring at me for a long moment.
“I’m guessin’ you don’t know where he is?”
“I…haven’t spoken to him.”
Max sighs and for the first time since he arrived I look at him properly. His eyes are tired, his face drawn and his clothes look as if he’s slept in them.
“He’s been gone two days Angel. Last I saw, he was a fuckin’ mess. What the hell happened with you two?”
“I found out what he did.”
Max eyes me suspiciously. “What did he do?”
“Killed a woman.” And there it is. Even days later I still feel nauseous at the thought of Caden taking someone’s life.
Max shakes his
head, “Did you let him explain?”
“What is there to explain Max? He killed a woman; he admitted it to me.”
“Did he tell you the reason?”
“There shouldn’t be a reason,” I cry. “Murder is not okay!”
“Look, let me explain…”
“Explain what?”
“Angel, I like you and all but shut the fuck up for one minute.”
I stare wide eyed at him, but I shut my mouth.
Max stands and begins pacing the room. I don’t ever think I’ve seen his look anything less than collected to this comes as a shock to me. “It was my fault. I can’t give you a mass amount of detail but it was on me. We were doing a hit, and Chief was on board. It was meant to be clean; we thought we had it all set up. We watched the man walk into his house, we were so sure he was alone. I told him that as soon as he opened the door, before he even got a look, that he had to shoot. Chief and Bill went over, the door opened and Caden shot just like I told him to, but it wasn’t the man that answered. The wife and kids had come from the neighbor’s yard, through a back fence…”
I feel tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Even if killing the woman wasn’t his fault he still planned on killing someone.”
Max sighs. “It’s part of what we do. Chief hasn’t done any hits since that day and we don’t ask him to; but he is a member of a gang and part his duty is doing shit that ain’t exactly nice Angel. What part of that didn’t you understand when you started dating him?”
“I just didn’t…”
“It doesn’t change who he is…”
He was wrong. It changed everything.
“That man had a family.”
“That man was a dirty fuckin’ pedophile who raped a crew member’s daughter.”
“Wha…”
“She was twelve years old.”
“Oh God.”
“Maybe he did set out to kill, but what punishment would you want a man like that to have? The system is fucked Angel. If we’d gone to the cops the worst that animal would have got is a lifetime of hot meals at the country’s expense. What happened doesn’t mean Chief is a murderer because he isn’t, but he does delve in places most don’t. It is part of the brotherhood, you have to deal with that or you’re best off leaving.”
He stands and looks down at me.