by Geneva Lee
Tod looked pleased with himself as though he had just maneuvered the situation exactly as he wanted. If he saw how he had been played, he showed no sign of it. “It’s settled then. You’ll stay here, so you can be there for Spencer—and we’ll have some time alone.”
He patted Iris’s bottom, and I cringed.
“Now, now,” Iris said with a wink. “You’re not the only one who’s in love.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Giles and I fell into an easy rhythm after their departure. He did not seem concerned that I would make off with the family silver, and he kept mostly to himself. There were no morning itineraries or forced social encounters. He didn’t come in to approve what I was wearing. In fact, he treated me exactly like I assumed he wanted to be treated—like I was an adult fully capable of making my own decisions.
I barely saw him.
Spencer, on the other hand, had not given up. It was clear from his messages that he suspected things had gone too far that night in his flat with Holden. I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever. But I needed to take advantage of the Belmond absence. There was no way that a man with the money and resources that Tod Belmond had wouldn’t know where his daughter was. I hadn’t believed him when he showed up on my doorstep acting like I might be her. I’d been a convenient out.
But someone had to be funding her lifestyle. It wasn’t as if she had disappeared without a trace. She needed money. I’m sure she hadn’t been going without all this time. That meant that somewhere there had to be a clue. A bank account. A credit card. Tod had told me he was actively tracking her down and attempting to get her to return home. Had he hired a private investigator? There had to be some clues in the house. And if he hadn’t found them. Maybe it was time I started digging around in Kerrigan’s room. On the surface, it felt strangely devoid of personality. She had her shoes and her clothes, but there was little else to give me insight into who Kerrigan Belmond really was. It felt more like I was staying in someone’s guest room than someone’s bedroom. There had to be a diary or a computer or something. She had to have left some part of herself behind when she took off.
But the more I searched, the less I found. Despite the wide berth Giles had given me, he’d been around the house most of the week. That meant I didn’t feel comfortable trying to get into Tod’s office or bedroom to look for clues. When Giles finally announced that he was taking in a matinee of a new West End production, I finally found my opportunity. After he left for the theater, I made my way downstairs and discovered Tod’s locked office door.
So, he wanted to keep me out of his office.
The problem was—like most men of his status—Tod Belmond was dependent on other people to do everything for him. It only took me half an hour to find the spare set of keys someone on the staff had stashed in the kitchen.
I let myself in and began to look around. It was a pretty typical office, full of expensive furniture and leather-bound books he probably hadn’t read, no doubt meant to impress those he deemed important enough to enter. I searched the shelves for a moment before deciding they were a dead end. The desk was much more likely. Every drawer but one opened easily. I paused, trying to decide if jimmying it open would leave marks. I couldn’t risk it. But there was no way that a locked desk drawer in a locked office didn’t have anything hiding in it.
Sitting back in his chair I grasped the arms of it and blew out a deep breath. I had to find Kerrigan Belmond, but I had no idea where to start. No friends had called. I only had a collection of pictures she’d posted on her social media accounts.
I sat there, studying the pictures on Tod’s desk. Like a good, newly married man, he was smart enough not to have pictures of his late wife there. He did have pictures of his daughter, though. There was a picture of him and Iris at a party that must have been to celebrate their engagement. Kerrigan stood glumly behind them. It was strange to see my face there, looking sour, as though I disapproved. I loved Iris. She was one of the most genuine and warm people I’d ever met. I wondered what Kerrigan had against her.
I closed my eyes, picturing myself in the blue dress Kerrigan had worn for the event and tried to imagine what it must’ve been like for her to accept a woman closer to her age than her mother’s marry her father. I suppose I could understand why she was biased against her. It wasn’t as if Tod Belmond was a huge catch, though. In fact, I couldn’t see what Iris saw in him—other than his billions. I couldn’t fault her for that, since it’s what had drawn me to him as well.
Was that why Kerrigan disliked her? Did she see Iris as another gold digger? It was strange how women always judged other women for taking advantage of male nature. In my opinion, Kerrigan should be upset with her father for marrying someone as young as Iris—not Iris herself.
There was another picture of Kerrigan riding a horse. I searched it, hoping it might contain some clue that would open up who she was to me. I closed my eyes again. I could almost feel the horse beneath me and the wind in my hair as we rode along the countryside. But it offered me no insight into who she was either. These glimpses of her life were as nondescript as the room upstairs. I was just about to give up when I noticed a bag tucked in the corner. Its glossy yellow leather seemed an odd fit for Tod Belmond.
I picked it up and placed it on the desk. Unzipping it, I withdrew a laptop computer and opened it. Powering it on, I waited, holding my breath, until a lock screen appeared, prompting me for a password. I had no idea what the password was, but the lock screen was enough to confirm my suspicion. Because above the password request, two words told me all I needed to know: Welcome Kerrigan.
Why was her computer here, if she wasn’t? I started to look in the bag again when the security system alerted me that there was someone at the gate. I replaced the computer, zipping it closed, and put it back where I’d found it. I’d have more time to dig into this later. Maybe even try to guess her password. But I didn’t want anyone to know what I was up to.
Did Giles know this bag was here? I couldn’t risk removing it from the office. I would have to see to whoever this was at the gate, send them on their way, and come back. I hoped I had enough time before Giles returned from the theatre. It was important that I covered my tracks behind me. Forcing Kerrigan to come home early was not something I wanted to discuss with Tod. I didn’t want to give him a chance to renegotiate our deal, or back out of it entirely. I shut the office door behind me and pocketed the key. Making my way to the security monitor near the front entry, I clicked on the feed and groaned when I saw Spencer waiting at the gate. He was standing there, no car in sight, pressing the intercom button.
I wondered if it was a coincidence that he’d shown up when there was no one around to send him away but me. Silently, I cursed Giles. There was no way he happened to be at the theatre at the same time that Spencer happened to show up here. That meant that Spencer knew I was inside, hiding from him, and that left me no choice.
I hit the button to respond.
“I don’t want to see you,” I told him.
“Kerrigan, we need to talk.”
My core clenched as his voice filled the empty space. It was enough to prompt the feelings I so willfully ignored to roar to life.
“Let me in. Please.”
“No way,” I said, standing my ground.
“I just want to talk to you. I know things went too far with Holden.”
“I’m sorry, but I need time to think.
“You have had a week to think!” He roared, banging his fist on the brick security shack and wincing. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do.”
“That’s not what this is about.”
He hit the wall again. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m going crazy here. I have to talk to you.”
“Then you’ll have to wait until I’m ready,” I said.
“Okay. Then I’ll wait.”
He couldn’t mean that literally, could he?
As if he knew what I was thinking, he slumped on
to the ground and stared in the direction of the camera.
Apparently, he could. I turned on my heel, but instead of going back to the office, I raced upstairs and buried myself under the covers. I didn’t trust myself to listen to Spencer calling over the intercom or to see him sitting there. Just hearing his voice had been enough to weaken my resolve.
I waited what felt like hours. Outside, this sky grew dark, tricking me into thinking it was later than it was. But it wasn’t evening, it was simply a storm. Clouds blocked the summer sun and before long, rain lashed against the windows. I’d lost track of time. Between the rain and the waiting, I was sure Spencer had given up. Instead, when I tiptoed downstairs and checked the security feed, he was still there, sitting in the downpour.
“Give up,” I called over the intercom.
I watched him shake his head on the security feed. He raised his hand and hit the response button. “I will stand here and drown in this rain before I leave, Kerrigan.”
“I don’t think you can drown in the rain,” I replied.
“Then I’ll die of starvation,” he said with a shrug. “Or exposure. Or heartbreak. I’m at your mercy.”
He didn’t mean that. He couldn’t. I fought the hope that swelled inside me that he did. I closed my eyes, shutting out the sight of him drenched on the security feed and slumped against the wall. Something told me that Spencer Byrd had it within him to do exactly what he said. A vision of him, lying dead at the front gate, when Giles returned from the theatre swam to mind. It wasn’t long enough of course for any of those terrible things to happen to him, but he would wait until Giles returned. And Giles would let him inside the house. And then we’d have an audience for whatever row we were about to have.
I let out a frustrated scream, reached over, and opened the gate.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Spencer sprang through the gate as soon as it had opened far enough to allow his body to fit through. I didn’t wait to watch him run toward the house.
Planting my hands on my hips, I paced the length of the foyer and back. Then, I opened the front door. Spencer stood there, his white shirt pasted to his skin, wet hair dripping into his eyes, but he didn’t blink. He didn’t wipe it away. His arms stretched out, bracing the doorframe as if to prevent any sudden attempt at escape.
“Have you lost your mind?” I asked him. It was still warm outside, although the rain had cooled the summer day considerably. I pressed my fingers to my temples and rubbed circles as I tried to figure out what to do.
“Can I come in?”
I looked him up and down, grimacing at the puddle forming at his feet. He had to have been out there at least two hours, so I believed him when he said he wasn’t going to leave until we talked. I didn’t feel like going out there, and I doubted he would settle for a quick conversation at the door. Not after waiting so long.
I swung the door open the rest of the way and stepped to the side to let him in.
He stalked in, trailing water behind him, and stopped to face me. “You haven’t been returning my calls.”
“So, you thought you should come over here and catch pneumonia to get my attention?” I shut the door behind him and settled against it, crossing my arms over my chest. I needed him to understand that things weren’t right between us. We needed distance. I needed time to find Kerrigan. I was already beginning to regret letting him into the house. “Did you plan this with Giles?”
He studied me for a moment before shrugging one waterlogged shoulder. “What if I did?”
“I knew it!” I exploded. They had probably hatched the plan before Tod and Iris left for Surrey. The whole thing had been orchestrated to get Spencer access to me. So much for thinking Giles was on my side. Of course, he wasn’t. He worked for Tod, and Tod wanted Kerrigan to marry Spencer. That was all that mattered. It didn’t matter who got in the way. It didn’t matter who got hurt. All that mattered was this arranged marriage.
“I’m sorry,” he said, interrupting my thoughts.
“For what?” I tried to sound as detached as possible, but my voice quavered, giving me away. “I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do.”
“We were drunk,” he said. “I shouldn’t have let things get that far.”
“And if we hadn’t been drinking? And I wanted to do that, would you let me?”
“I don’t own you, Kerrigan.”
“Are you sure? Isn’t that what this is all about?” I stormed, feeling the hot prickle of tears forming in my eyes. “I’m just a commodity to be sold to a man with the right title and the right family.”
“I don’t think of you that way.” His sincerity was obvious, but that didn’t change the facts of the matter.
“But you agreed to it,” I pointed out.
“I did,” he admitted.
“Why? You could have anyone you wanted.” That was the thing I had never understood since the moment I’d seen his picture.
“The first time I saw you I wanted you.”
“What? When we were five?” I tried to sound glib, but my heart was pounding against my chest like it was trying to get out. Kerrigan and Spencer had known each other before boarding schools and universities sent them on different paths.
“Not when we were kids. The first time I saw you grown-up,” he said softly. “I didn’t even speak to you. It was at the Queen’s garden party last summer. I looked across the lawns and you were laughing.”
My heart began to slow, restricted by a sudden tightness in my chest. The truth was that he hadn’t seen me last summer. He hadn’t wanted me last summer.
It had been her.
“When I realized it was you, I thought finally something good was coming from my fucking family name and this sodding title. I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t ask for any of this. But someone had to do it when father died, and Holden made it quite clear he didn’t want it to be him.” He pushed a hand through his dripping hair, showering the floor with more water droplets.
I wished I could tell him the truth. That Holden believed he was doing the right thing for his brother. But I wouldn’t betray Holden’s confidence. Both of them thought they had sacrificed for the other. There was a beautiful irony in it that was equal parts sad and sweet.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, searching my face for a sign that I would forgive him. “I’ll never put you through something like that again. Just give me another chance.”
I shut my eyes and decided to be as truthful as I could with him. “It scared me.”
“I didn’t mean to make you afraid,” he murmured, hanging his head.
“No, it scared me because I liked it.” I forced the words out of my mouth.
Spencer’s eyes flashed up in surprise, but he didn’t say anything.
“I don’t want to be the thing that comes between the two of you,” I continued. “Of course, I find Holden attractive. You look exactly the same. But I don’t trust him. And I just shared something incredibly intimate with you, so how am I supposed to feel when suddenly I can’t seem to control myself?”
We stared at each other for a moment, neither of us speaking. The only sound in the space was our breathing and the steady drip from his wet clothes onto the marble floor.
“He said you always share women.”
“I don’t want to share you,” he said in a harsh whisper.
“He said the same thing.”
Spencer’s nostrils flared and I wondered if I had done permanent damage to the brothers’ relationship. I only knew it couldn’t go on like this. They had to face the rivalry that lingered between them and stop pretending that everything was okay. “I won’t be a prize.”
“I don’t want you to be my prize.” He took a step toward me tentatively as if waiting to see if I would run. I stayed still. “I spent the last week afraid of losing you because I couldn’t admit what I was really scared of.”
“You’re scared?”
He nodded, closing the gap between us. “I’m scared I could fall in lov
e with you.”
He meant it. I knew, because, at that moment, I felt the exact same way. “So am I.”
“It’s kind of stupid to both be scared of wanting the same thing, don’t you think?” he murmured as he brushed a hand down the side of my face. His skin was cold from standing in the rain, but his touch still lit a flame of desire inside me.
“You’re freezing,” I noted.
“I didn’t notice,” he said honestly. “I’d rather die fighting for you than live without you.”
“We barely know each other.” It was happening too fast. I knew that. But even as I attempted to pump the brakes on our runaway relationship, my heart sped along at breakneck speed to whatever lay around the corner. I had no idea if it was happiness or heartbreak. For some reason, it didn’t matter.
“I know what’s in here.” His hand moved to press against my chest. “That’s obvious. That’s what matters. The rest is details that will come with time.”
“Even if it’s scary?” I asked.
“Even then.” He nodded, cupping my chin as he spoke. “Especially then.”
“This is crazy. This was supposed to be an arrangement.”
“It wouldn’t be crazy to fall in love with you,” he whispered. “It would be crazy not to.”
I turned my face up to his, unable to keep the truth from radiating off me. I felt the same way. I had no right to the emotions swirling inside my heart. He wasn’t mine. He never could be. None of that stopped how I felt.
Spencer angled his face down, hesitating for just one moment to see if I would resist, before crushing his lips to mine. His wet clothes soaked through my thin shirt, but I could think of nothing but the way his strong body felt against me. I didn’t care that he was soaked through or that I was getting wet. When he lifted me and carried me into the next room, I made no protest. He kicked a chair from the head of the table and placed me on its edge, yanking down my jeans with one swift stroke. My hands fumbled with his zipper, as our tongues tangled together, and I freed his cock.