Stupid Girl: A Fantasy Adventure Based in French Folklore (Faite Falling Book 4)

by Mary E. Twomey

Roland seethed at me. “I’ll hold out long enough to watch Master Kerdik turn fool for you more than he already has. It’ll be my pleasure to watch him mutate you into a monster, just like he did with Tara.”

  My nose crinkled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I keep waiting for Master Kerdik to kiss you. It’s only a matter of time. I see the way that monster looks at you. I only hope I live long enough to watch him turn you into a dragon.”

  Link reared back in confusion. “What are ye talking about?”

  Roland laughed like the madman the pain had pushed him to being. “Such a well-kept secret. Dear Aunt Avril isn’t so tight-lipped. She told me what came of the last woman Master Kerdik fell for. Why do you think he stays away for so long?”

  Link frowned. “Mad, he’s not making any sense. Cut off his thumb and see if tha clears his head.”

  Roland clutched his bloody stump to his chest while he cackled, blood spilling out from his teeth. “You really don’t know. Maybe Lane doesn’t know, either. Ask your precious father about Tarasque.”

  Jean-Luc chimed in with, “The reclusive dragon who lived in the ocean? What of her? She’s long dead.”

  “There’s a reason Master Kerdik’s alone. It’s not by choice; it’s by destiny. He loves you; we’ve all seen it. It’s only a matter of time before he tries to steal you away from Bastien. When he does, we’ll all see the evil in you.” A cloud passed over his face. “I only hope you don’t destroy Avalon when his kiss transforms you.”

  “Destroy Avalon? What are you talking about? Kerdik’s kiss won’t transform me into a… whatever you’re thinking is going to happen.” Because we’ve already kissed, and aside from burping fire, I’m still me.

  Puzzle pieces slowly started to reveal themselves.

  The reason Kerdik lived away from everyone.

  The flames that erupted from me seconds after our misplaced kiss.

  A female dragon who’d needed slaying.

  Mad’s Madness, and Meara’s Magic

  Roland cackled as he watched realization dawn on me. I shook my head with a stubborn frown. “You’re lying. You’re just trying to screw with my head.”

  “Why bother making up a lie, when the truth is so much more compelling? Ask your dear lover about Tarasque. A monster, half dragon and half sea monster who appeared out of nowhere. Tame as a person, but mutated beyond recognition.” His smile turned evil. “Your father knew her when she was a handmaiden in his castle. Urien’s legendary friendship with the daunting Master Kerdik brought the two together. It wasn’t long, probably no more than a few nights of passion before Tara was mutated into a foe no one could defeat.” Roland caught himself. “Oh, Master Kerdik could, of course, but he loved Tara too much, so she rested by herself in the ocean, mourning the life she had before Kerdik fell in love with her.”

  I cried out with heartbreak and revulsion. “How could you make up such a terrible lie about Kerdik? He’s got goodness in him, and you’re just trying to tear him down because he’s my friend. You’re so petty, it’s disgusting!”

  Roland laughed again, the cocky bastard. “I see it won’t be long before you fall for him. In one man’s arms now, engaged to my tormenter, in Bastien’s bed tonight, with Kerdik in your heart. My, one doesn’t even need witch abilities to ruin lives the way you will.”

  I struggled against Link to get down, but Link took Kerdik’s command not to let my feet touch the ground quite literally. “Don’t let him get to ye, kitten. He’s just trying to rile ye up. He’s trying to provoke Mad so he’ll end it quick. It’s desperation, not truth. End of the rope talk, for sure.”

  I didn’t care what the motivation was; it was cruel. “How could you hate Bastien this much? I’m only in Avalon because of you, you know. He and Reyn scoured earth to find me so I could bring you back to Avalon. I wouldn’t even be here if you hadn’t given up on your province!” Okay, maybe that wasn’t fair, but if he was going to play dirty, I could sling a little mud, too. “Give me back my father, and I’ll leave Avalon. If you don’t help me, then I’ll stay here forever. I’ll sit on your throne and rule your people. I’ll dismantle the army and make them plant pink flowers and play with puppies all the livelong day! I’ll destroy everything you’ve dreamt of for Province 4 and Province 9. Lane and I will turn this into a town of rainbows and unicorns and just hope Morgan doesn’t try and take our land again.” I watched his cocky smile twist into a grimace. “If you don’t give me back my father, you’ll be abandoning Province 4 again. Typical spoiled prince. Things don’t go his way, so he skips off into the Forgotten Forest, leaving everyone else to do the dirty work. Now you’ll abandon your people, knowing I don’t know how to rule. Knowing I’ll be a terrible fit for your people. But still you only care about revenge. Still you only care about your pride. Still you care not even a little bit about your people.”

  His voice was furious and loud, despite his blood loss and torment. “Don’t tell me what I care about! I gave up everything for Avalon! It was taken from me, and there was no way to get it back.”

  “So you left them,” I said, disgusted. It was hard to be domineering in Link’s arms, but I managed. “You left your people to flock to Morgan.”

  “She made me! I gave myself up so that my people could at least have food on their tables. You know one of the conditions of her sparing the lives of Province 4 was that the ruler had to go to the Forgotten Forest. Aunt Avril went through the same punishment!”

  “You gave up!” I raged. “You gave up on a great province. I’m not like you, Roland. I won’t give up on my father, even if it means I live in Avalon forever! Suck on that while you wait out the darkness down here. Think about me with my scarred thighs sitting on your throne for years, making calls that would make your skin crawl. For once in your life, think about what’s best for your province! If I get my father back, Lane, Draper and I will go to Common with him, if that’s what he wants. That leaves Damond in line next to rule once Lane adopts him, if he decides to stay behind in Avalon. Wouldn’t you rather have Damond than me? I don’t want to sit on that throne any more than you want me to. Play the right game, you tool!”

  Roland stared up at me with his one eye, sifting through my words to test their veracity and poke holes where he could. “You’ll really leave the throne to Damond?”

  My breath caught in my throat that we were actually making progress. “Absolutely. I won’t be here any longer than I have to.”

  He seemed hopeful, but then his expression fell into a snarl. “Morgan won’t let you rest in Common.”

  “She won’t let me rest in Avalon, either. At least I have the advantage in my home turf. She can’t use magic there. Plus, I hid myself well enough for twenty-one years. Best of luck to Mom of the Year.”

  “You’d really go back to the concealment charm Lane put on you to alter your appearance? I’m told you were quite off-putting.”

  I kept my chin steady as I debated keeping the face and body I had now, or being able to return to my regular life, even if it meant I was the ugly girl again. “In a heartbeat, I’d trade it all if it meant the people I loved were safe.” In that moment, I knew who I was. I was Rosie Avalon, no matter what my face looked like.

  “You’ll really leave Avalon if I give you Urien?”

  “In a heartbeat. It’s only what I’ve been telling you this whole time. I help Avalon get back on her feet, then I’m out.”

  “But you’ll take Uncle Urien with you.”

  “My dad can decide for himself where he wants to be. You should want him to have a choice in how he lives his life, after he’s spent so much time with all of his choices taken away. To control him like you’re doing? It’s what Morgan would do.” I met his eye with disappointment. “It’s what she did.”

  Roland paused for so long, it felt like the world stood still. I waited for his lips to part, to give me the life back that I’d been missing. Finally, the truth tumbled out of him. “Fool’s Parsley. I prolonge
d the paralysis with Fool’s Parsley. It’s beneath Kerdik. He’s looking for loftier, more complicated magic, so I knew he’d overlook something so simple.”

  Link gasped and kicked at the bars with his boot. “Fool’s Parsley can do serious damage! If King Urien doesn’t come out of this in one piece, I’ll see ye live a long and miserable life in the public eye, a slave to whatever whim Mad has for ye. Jays, Roland!”

  Roland scoffed. “I’m already at rock bottom. Do what you like.”

  Mad chuckled, and the deep sound dragged a chill up my spine. “Oh, no. Ye’ve got miles to go before ye hit the bottom. Ye made me wait, little pig. Ye made me wait for the information. I don’t like to wait.” He threw an “aw shucks” look at Link. “Think we can get Antonio in here?”

  Link blew out a low whistle. “I don’t know. He usually likes his sex slaves in one piece, and you’ve already made pieces of this one.”

  I gripped the back of Link’s neck hard, digging my fingernails into the skin and hoping I drew blood. “Until I leave, this kingdom belongs to Lane, Draper, Urien and me. You won’t do any such thing on our soil. If I see this Antonio guy, he’s getting sent straight home with a note from the principal.”

  Mad made a show of taking off his belt, and Roland whimpered, cowering away from the leather and rolling himself into a ball to protect what was left of his body. “Alright, let’s see if there’s more truth to beat out of ye.”

  “No, Mad! Please! Don’t hurt him!” I struggled to get to Madigan, but Link was just plain stronger.

  I screamed louder than Roland when the crack of the belt whipped down on his back. “He’s got to learn, Rosie. Ye don’t lay a hand on an Untouchable’s lady. Ye belong with us now, and we don’t tolerate tha.”

  “Stop it! This doesn’t help anything! You don’t want to be this person!”

  Madigan stopped and glared at me. “This is who I am, Rosie! This is who they trained me to be. I was the only one with the stomach to carry out what needed doing for the queen. It’s not my fault they couldn’t hold me in Éireland’s army. They unleashed me on Faîte, so they’ll take the monster they made!” Fury built up in Madigan, transforming him from the calm dungeon master to a rage-filled man on a tear. Over and over, he belted Roland, each lash cracking louder than the last.

  Jean-Luc’s mind was a stream of nervous cussing and “please don’t let him turn on me” pleading. I screamed for Mad to stop, to come back from the life he’d gone to in his mind. That life held no compassion, no humanity and no way out.

  Link practically shoved me into Jean-Luc’s surprised arms and bolted for Madigan, taking a belt to the chest before Mad slowed Roland’s punishment. He wrapped his arms around Madigan and shoved him into the bars so hard, the metal protested the assault from the two large men. Link squeezed tight, fighting Madigan’s desire to go at Roland with all the rage in his sordid past. I was terrified, but Link’s voice was gentle. “Easy, brother. Easy now. Ye don’t want to kill him yet. If he’s lying, you’ll need to take your time. Ye can’t lose your temper. What would Meara say to tha? She believed ye were more than what they made ye to be.”

  Madigan’s short breaths and dilated pupils began to level off. It was as if he had gone somewhere else in his mind, and Link’s voice had been the thing that brought him back. “Meara,” he murmured.

  “Aye, Meara. She would’ve wanted better for ye than this. She knew ye could be more than the killer they warped ye to be. I knew it, too. Tha’s why we’re brothers. Do what ye need to with this one, but don’t lose yourself in it.”

  Mad was silent, opening his mouth and closing it a few times before the fight in him finally settled. “Aye. I’m okay now.” He glanced over at my tearstained face when Link finally loosened his grip and stepped back to take me from Jean-Luc. Madigan cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders back. “Don’t worry, Rosie. Avalon will be safe for ye by the time I’m done with him. Untouchables protect what’s theirs.”

  Jean-Luc motioned for Link to go. “Get her out of here. She’s delicate, and she’s already seen more than she needs to.”

  Link shifted me in his arms. “Alright, wee kitten. Let’s see if Roland’s telling us a lie. There’ll be no holding Mad back if this doesn’t work.”

  I clung to Link because I had no other choice. There was no beacon of kindness or goodness to hold onto, so I let him carry me up the stairs into the light. But after all I’d seen, the light didn’t feel much better than the darkness.

  The Psychopath and the Princess

  Link laid me in my bed, grateful for the excuse to distance himself from the sobbing mess that I was. I wasn’t a huge torture movie fan, so I hadn’t been exposed to much of that. I liked the Princess Bride, and had gladly skipped out on the Saw series. My sweet Wesley would never have resorted to such violence. Though he’d threatened such things, he would never really do it. Wesley was a lover.

  Mad was a psychopath. A psychopath I was engaged to.

  Link ran his hands through his honey-colored hair several times before speaking, messing the tresses more than their usual chaos. “Yeah, so I’m going to go down and tell Kerdik what we found. Do ye want me to try and find Bastien?”

  I shook my head. “Bastien knew what Mad was doing down there, and he just let him! How could he let Mad do that?”

  Link’s eyes looked anywhere but at me, the typical guy who was allergic to female emotion. Or you know, a man who couldn’t handle the normal human response to unthinkable torture. “Bastien let Mad do what he does because he loves ye. He gave up his mate so ye would be safe, and ye could have your Da back.” He crossed his arms over his broad chest. “This is what it means to be one of ours. You’re an Untouchable’s lady. We don’t tolerate our women being stalked and stabbed. So while you’re crying over the state of the world, remember tha Bastien and Mad are just protecting ye. Remember tha ye wouldn’t have been safe if they’d let Roland get off with a slap. Now his followers know that you’re Untouchable, too. It’s a necessary message, especially after ye said he was going to let his lads have a go at ye. Jays, Rosie. How can ye not see tha this is the best way?”

  “Stop it! Don’t tell me that Roland’s violence is a good excuse for more violence. Don’t try and convince me this is a way to win a war.”

  “Ye need to get our mark today.” Link tugged on his shirt collar with his tattooed wrist to display the permanent blight that declared his royalty-adjacent status to the world. “An engagement can be broken, but ink is forever. I’ll send for the artist, and tha will add another layer of protection for ye.”

  I chewed on my lower lip, making the decision I still wasn’t sure about on the fly, and under duress. “Fine.”

  “Good.” Link blew out a loud breath. “I don’t feel right leaving ye up here without protection. I’ll send your brother up.”

  “Draper would never let you do this. He’ll freak out when I tell him what you’ve done.”

  Of all things, Link patted me on the head. “There, there. I’ll go see about waking your Da.” He backed toward the door when more of my tears came rolling down my cheeks. “I don’t know what to do when ye cry like tha, so knock it off.”

  I guffawed at him. “You are such a jerk! Here’s a page from Being a Nice Guy 101: When someone’s traumatized, let them feel sad about it. A hug is different than patting someone on the head – which, incidentally, is going to get you punched the next time you do that to me.”

  Link sniggered. “Alright. Tha’s a good tip. Anything else I should know, since you’re our lady?”

  I groaned. “The possessiveness of your language is gross.” I thought through his question, knowing I wouldn’t get a better invitation than that one for some good old course-correction. “Stop acting like I’m the house pet.”

  “Ah, but ye do belong to us. Just as we belong to ye. Tha’s how the Brotherhood works. Did ye see how I calmed Mad down when he lost it?”

  I shivered. “Yeah. That was intense.”

 
; Link nodded with the air of a professor. “Mad belongs to ye too, now, so if tha happens again, do what I did. Ye need to know how to handle us, just like we need to know how to handle ye. We only have each other.”

  “I don’t know what to say to that. How do you need to be ‘handled’?”

  “Do ye want the real answer, or a joke about how Link Jr. likes to be handled?” He looked down pointedly at his crotch.

  I harrumphed. “What do you think?”

  He leaned on the doorjamb, his face pensive. “You’ll have to ask Bastien tha. Off the top of my head, I’d say don’t split on me in the middle of the night. I lost Mad tha way when he disappeared into the Forgotten Forest. Damn near drove me over the edge. So when ye go back to Common, give me plenty of fair warning. Don’t just run out on me.”

  I mulled over his words, surprised something so thoughtful came from the goofball. “I can do that. You really care if I’m here or not?”

  “Aye. You’re the closest thing I’ll ever have to a wife.” Before I could rein in my reaction, his face broke out in a grin. “See tha? I didn’t even make a joke about ye handling my beefy cock, which is what I would’ve done if ye weren’t ours. Because I’m learning how to handle ye. Ye like sweetness, my smile, and daisies.”

  I balked at him. “I don’t need to be handled!”

  He caught my eye as he fisted the door’s handle. His look suddenly seemed of a person far older and wiser than me. “Aye. We all do. And gently, at tha. Stay in bed, now. Let us take care of the rest.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “You don’t get to be wiser than me. It throws off our balance.”

  Link tossed me a charming grin, blowing me a kiss before he left.

  I was alone with my confusion and my fear, reliving the horror of Roland’s disfigurement for a solid five minutes before there was a polite knock on my door. “C-Come in.”

  Draper let himself inside, his business face melting when he took in my expression. I was in the throes of an ugly cry, but Draper didn’t look away from my pain. He crossed the room, letting Abraham Lincoln in behind me. My bear shut the door with his round rump and moseyed on over, climbing onto the bed after Draper, so I was surrounded by strength and kindness on both sides. Draper wrapped his arms around me and pulled out a handkerchief from his back pocket, dabbing at my eyes. “Link tells me you discovered the real use for the dungeon.”