Letting You Know

by Nora Flite

  “What's wrong?” I asked, blinking.

  Tugging at her jacket sleeve, she put on a weary smile. “It's dumb. But, I noticed... in the CD player, while I was driving...”

  “Oh, that,” I mumbled.

  “It's... it's not mine, that CD,” she said defensively. The pleading look in her eyes threw me off.

  Crinkling my nose, I tilted my head. “What?”

  “It belongs to Nicholas,” she rambled, rubbing her forehead. “Sorry. I was worried you'd seen it, and after our talk, it just looked really disingenuous of me.”

  Smiling, I felt my laugh bubble up. I didn't stop it fast enough, Bethany shot me an unsure squint. “Sorry. It's just...” It's just that I didn't care anymore, what the music meant to her. Now, hearing she didn't even own that CD... “Forget about it.” Lifting my hand, I extended it to her.

  Bethany narrowed her eyes at it, like it was a snake. I thought I might have offended her, until she reached out, giving me a quick embrace.

  Stepping back, she looked around, noticing the boys staring at us. Her nervous expression shifted to one of serious distaste. “Everyone stop standing around! Leah, Deacon, you need to go. Now.”

  “She's right,” Deacon agreed, heading towards the doors. I moved to follow, but Nicholas caught me up in his one good arm.

  Everyone is conspiring to keep us here, I thought in amusement. “Nicholas, I need to...”

  “I know. Shh. Let me get my farewell, too.” His hug was awkward, yet still solid.

  We pulled apart, his green eyes sparkling the way a certain someone I loved did.

  He reminded me too much of Deacon at times.

  “Leah, it was really great to meet you. And I... did you guys get to talk about...”

  Pushing away, I gave him a sideways smile. “I don't know what you're even referring to. Bye, Nicholas.”

  His mouth made a tiny open shape, before shifting back to that knowing smirk he wore so well.

  Together, he and Bethany waved at us, not stopping until Deacon and I had vanished deep into the airport terminal.

  ****

  We ran through the airport, our tickets clenched in our fists the entire time. With our bags checked-in, we moved easier, and speed was what we needed.

  Dodging the milling people who were clearly not in the same rush as we were, Deacon and I slid across the tile floor. Above us, the metallic voice repeated over and over the same words, “final boarding call for flight 1536 to Los Angeles.”

  The gate rose up, the woman standing by the boarding door speaking into her walkie.

  They're not going to let us on, they—

  “Wait!” Deacon shouted, making the woman shoot her head up in surprise. “Don't let them leave!”

  Panting, we stumbled up to her, handing off crumpled, sweaty papers that hardly looked like tickets any more. Her smile was stuffed with humor as she took them, waving us on politely. “Welcome aboard, enjoy the flight.”

  Smoothing my hair down, glad I had tied it back so it hadn't blinded me when we were running, I looked up at Deacon. His face was almost split with a relieved smile.

  Laughing, the final hump of our journey removed, I took his hand in mine. Waltzing down the hall to the open door of the plane, we entered, ignoring the frowning faces of the people already sitting.

  The moment we fell into our chairs, I leaned over, planting a firm kiss on my boyfriend's cheek. That wasn't enough for him; his hands circled the back of my head, holding me still so he could get a longer taste of my mouth.

  By the time he let me go, I was searing red from nape to toe. “We made it,” I said stupidly, dazed.

  “We did,” he agreed, sinking down with a small yawn. “Amazingly, we actually did it.”

  Clipping my belt into place, noting the sour eye of one of the stewards, I sighed. Knots in my shoulders erased themselves; it felt wonderful to put our journey in the hands of someone else, for once.

  Closing my eyes, I drowned out the words of the stewardess at the end of the plane. She was explaining the warnings, escape procedures... things I, and many, already knew by heart.

  Everything that happened this trip... it changed so much between Deacon and I. Who could have predicted any of this?

  That we'd run into his ex-girlfriend, find out she was dating his younger brother... To be able to go see my parents, and, my god, get to see how things are different for them.

  It's a shame they all live so far away.

  Thinking about that fact, the distance between us all, brought something that had been chewing at my brain to the forefront.

  It wasn't until after we'd rolled down the path, engines blazing as we shot into the air, that I whispered what was on my mind to Deacon.

  “Hey,” I said, squeezing his hand where it rested between us. “There's something bugging me.”

  “Hmn?” He murmured, looking my way through sleepy, half-shut eyes.

  Licking my lips, I struggled to phrase my concern carefully. “So, uh. You told me Bethany broke up with you because of the whole long distance thing, right?”

  His mouth tightened; not out of anger, yet I couldn't identify what it meant. “Yeah, that's right. Why do you ask?”

  Tracing my fingers over the inside of his palm, I leaned in close, like I had a huge secret. “Okay, so it's probably weird for me to even be asking this, but... If distance was such a huge thing, why is she bothering with Nicholas?”

  “I—what?”

  “He's going to school in Virginia, that's still like, an eight hour drive at least each way from where he is to her, right?”

  Deacon blinked, studying me, then the window beside him thoughtfully. I regretted asking him the longer the silence went on.

  Flooding with guilt, my hand tried to leave his. He grabbed on tighter, looking into my eyes with a soft smile. “You know, I couldn't really say why she's willing to put up with that. But my guess is that they both clearly see something there worth fighting for.” Pressing forward, he leaned his forehead on mine. I could see nothing but the corner of his mouth, twisting up in tender joy. “Maybe you just need to realize what you, yourself, would go through for the person you love to really understand why it's worth the trouble.”

  Swelling so much my chest felt it couldn't hold all my air, I lifted my arms, snuggling against his shoulder.

  “I think I get it,” I whispered.

  Together, we stayed like that the rest of the flight. When the attendants came by with drinks and snacks, we'd already fallen asleep.

  Chapter 22.

  Carlo gave us both the biggest hugs he was capable of when he met us at the airport. He went so far as to lift me off the ground, spinning us in a circle as I made plaintive cries for him to stop.

  “I'm so happy to see you guys,” he claimed, grabbing our bags and dragging them out towards his car. “It wasn't the same without you. That apartment gets lonely.”

  “You were lonely?” Deacon asked, incredulous. “Come on, you're an adult now, you should be capable of entertaining yourself.”

  “Listen to him,” Carlo scoffed, shooting me a private smile. “He acts so tough, as if he wouldn't have been crying after not seeing me for a week!”

  “I didn't see you for a week!” Deacon laughed, jumping into the passenger seat.

  His roommate waved a hand, hopping behind the wheel with a pout. “And, like a gracious friend, I didn't point out that you were holding back tears this whole time.”

  Deacon rolled his eyes, the two of them delighting me with their antics.

  It felt good to be home.

  It especially felt nice to feel the warmer weather. Even in December, California felt cool and inviting.

  Leaning back into my seat, I watched the landscape of palm trees roll by. The lack of snow made it hard to believe it was even winter time. The state seemed to be in a whole other world.

  “Did you guys have a good time?” Carlo asked, speeding up on the highway.

  “I'd say so,” Deacon answere
d, peeking at me in the side-view mirror. My only response was a slight smile.

  Yeah, we had a great trip, in the end. It started out rocky, but what came out of it... I wouldn't have, couldn't have, asked for more.

  “Well then,” Carlo went on, rambling contently, “let me tell you all about what I did for the last week!” He managed to fill the rest of the drive, his voice becoming white noise in the most fantastic of ways.

  Looking up, I saw we were finally on some familiar streets. “Can we stop at Vanessa's, first?” I asked. “I'd like to see her, get some clean clothes, that sort of stuff.”

  “Sure,” Carlo nodded, turning a corner, “I can drop you guys off. Just take your car back to our place with Deacon, Leah. I'll bring your luggage in.”

  “Thanks,” I said, “that's really nice of you!”

  “I'm always nice,” Carlo replied with a knowing smirk.

  He pulled his car up along the sidewalk, letting Deacon and I clamber out. “See you soon,” my boyfriend said, waving after his roommate while he drove off. Smiling, he turned to me, taking my hands gently. “How does it feel to be back?”

  “Good,” I admitted, standing on tip-toe to reach his tempting lips. “Let's go say hi, I haven't talked to Vanessa for a week. I have no idea what she's been up to.”

  “True,” he chuckled, following me along the walkway. “She could have gotten into all sorts of trouble.”

  “I know you're kidding,” I said, glancing up at the trees that sported brown leaves from the cool weather, “but you never know. She couldn't even call me, she doesn't know I have a new phone.”

  “She could have called me,” Deacon pondered, shrugging.

  Reaching for the door of the apartment I shared, I felt the knob resist. “Hmn. Locked.” Digging in my pocket, I fiddled with my keys. “Maybe she isn't even here,” I mused, pushing the door open. “I guess she could be...” I never finished my sentence. Together, Deacon and I stared at the sight before us. An image that stole our voices away for a good solid set of seconds.

  Vanessa, nude and in the midst of tangling with someone on the couch, gasped. Her hair was a mess, skin sweating from what was obviously a passionate round of love making.

  Under her, a familiar head looked up. Tim's mop of hair was tangled, eyes wide in shock.

  “The door was locked for a reason!” Vanessa squealed, covering her chest and breaking the frozen moment.

  Squeaking, I covered my eyes, yanking on the door to shut it. “I'm so sorry! Oh god! Sorry!”

  The hard snap of the door closing shook the air, leaving Deacon and I standing on the front step. Looking up, I saw his face reflected the horror on my own. “Did I just see that?”

  “Yes,” he whispered, rubbing at his hair with both hands. “Tim and Vanessa, well. I guess maybe we shouldn't be that shocked?”

  “They were having sex on the couch,” I mumbled, eyes shooting around, so hard my skull hurt. “Oh god. The place I sleep, Deacon. I sleep there!”

  He started laughing, a choked sound that his palms tried to muffle. It became impossible, and soon, he was doubled over with echoing guffaws. Frustrated, unsure what to do, I gave him a small shove. “Stop that, this isn't funny!”

  “No,” he shook his head, chuckling, “it's pretty hilarious, actually.”

  My face was glowing, it only got brighter when I glanced at the door. “I guess I should drive us to your place, then.”

  Deacon nodded, laughing too hard to answer. I wanted to be angry that he found it all so humorous, but my mortification transformed to sheepish giggles. “Fine. It's kind of funny.”

  “Right?” He recovered, wiping his eyes but still grinning wide. “Okay, yeah. Let's get out of here, just give her a call later.”

  Sighing, I hurried after him, heading to where my car had been left on the street. I'd asked Vanessa to keep an eye on it, and luckily she had. “No parking ticket, that's good.” Climbing in, I enjoyed the familiar feel of the wheel in my hands.

  The engine clicked, starting up with a soft purr. “Do you think they've been, you know, just hooking up?” I asked.

  “As opposed to...?”

  “Dating.” Glancing at him, I turned my car onto the road. “I'm wondering if they're dating again.”

  Deacon's frown was subtle, but I noticed it. “Well, I talked to Tim about a month ago or so. After everything with Greg and Vanessa went down, they were starting to spend a lot of time together.”

  “I know about that,” I mused, turning onto his street and pulling up into am empty spot. “I just didn't think they'd ever try again. You know about why they broke up, right?”

  He nodded slowly, hopping out of my car and shutting the door. I followed after him, tucking my keys away. “Tim didn't want to get married, have kids, all that pressure. Who knows, maybe he changed his mind.”

  “Maybe,” I mumbled, afraid of the alternative. If they get back together... if they are together, right now, even... and he isn't taking it seriously? He's going to destroy her this time around.

  Carlo seemed surprised to see us, looking up from the couch with wide eyes. Our bags were on the floor by his feet, scattered a little lazily. “Whoa. That was quick.”

  “Uh, yeah,” Deacon shrugged, reaching down to grab our things. “We didn't need much time.”

  Nodding, I turned, hurrying up the stairs. I knew my face was turning pink again, thinking about what I had seen.

  I felt Deacon following me, but I didn't turn until I was in his room, sitting on his bed. Drawing my hands over my face, I groaned. “I don't know what to do.”

  “There's nothing to do,” he responded, setting our bags on the ground. Catching the way I squinted, he softly closed the door behind him.

  “There is,” I muttered, flopping back on the blankets and eyeing the ceiling. “If they're dating again, don't you know what that means for me?”

  “No, what?” He sounded amused, the mattress creaking as he sat beside me.

  Turning, I looked up into his thoughtful face. “They're together, that means they're going to want to spend their time together.”

  His stare was blank.

  “Deacon,” I said, sitting up so fast it made me dizzy, “they were having sex on the couch! Where I sleep! They're going to have sex in her room, too. They won't stop.”

  He smoothed my hair, fingers fiddling with the strands. “How awful.”

  “Listen to me, please,” I frowned. “I don't know if I can handle sleeping there, being in their way. I'm going to become that person, who like, wakes up to her roommate going at it in the shower, or sitting right nearby at the table eating breakfast together. It's just going to get weird.”

  Tilting his head, Deacon watched me curiously. “Did you not deal with any of that when Greg was with her?”

  “No, she and him were on rough terms when I got in the picture.”

  “Leah, if Vanessa and Tim start doing all that together, it's a good thing, right?”

  “For them,” I said, looking away, “yes. It's very good. But not for me, that place is too small to handle three people.”

  Laying back, he folded his arms behind his head. “You had to expect this would happen eventually.”

  “What would?”

  “That Vanessa might start dating someone?”

  Crinkling the bridge of my nose, I stared down at my lap. “I don't know, I guess I didn't.”

  Inhaling loud enough that I could hear him, Deacon adjusted on the bed. “You've been spending a lot of time here. Maybe you won't even notice.”

  He wasn't wrong, I had been spending most of my nights sleeping over at his place. “I guess so, yeah. But what am I supposed to do,” I chuckled, peering down at him from where I sat. “Move in?”

  His eyes twinkled, that mouth shifting into a serious line. One hand lifted, guiding me down to lay beside him. Our faces were inches apart, I could feel his breath tickling my nose. “Well, why not?”

  “What?” I blurted, not sure I'd heard him
right.

  “Why not move in with me?”

  “You're not kidding, are you?” I whispered, trying to meet the intensity in his honey eyes.

  Those hands, so familiar, pulled me closer. “Leah, I love you. If anything, this trip showed me that. You can't keep living on Vanessa's couch, so why not move in with me?”

  My heart throbbed, unable to keep pace with my rushing thoughts. “Move in here?”

  “No, we should get our own place, I think.”

  “I—but what about Carlo?”

  “What about me?” The voice came from the doorway. Carlo was leaning inside, a mischievous twinkle in his inky eyes. “Sorry, you guys have company, so...”

  We sat up quickly, noticing Vanessa peeking around Carlo in the doorway. “Sorry,” she said in a rush, looking extremely uncomfortable. “Uh. I just came by to... to talk to Leah.”

  “Vanessa!” Jumping to my feet, I pushed past Deacon's roommate and gave the girl a tight hug. Leaning back, I saw her mirror my smile. “Hey, uh, about that whole—”

  “No,” she cut me off, pink roses blooming on her cheeks. “Uh, come on, let's talk about that somewhere private.”

  Blinking, I turned towards Carlo and Deacon. “You guys, can you give us some space?”

  My boyfriend didn't argue. Standing easily, he grabbed Carlo by the shoulder, leading him down the stairs. “All yours.”

  “I—hey, wait!” I heard the coffee colored man argue, struggling as he was towed.

  Motioning with my head, I led Vanessa into Deacon's room, then out on his balcony. “This should be good, right?”

  The taller girl strolled out into the air, letting me close the door behind us. It felt refreshing, a welcome breather with how heated both our faces were.

  We're both so humiliated about this whole mess.

  “Listen,” she started, rubbing her upper arms. “I'm sorry about what you walked in on back there. I would have called you, warned you, but...”

  “Oh, my bad, really,” I laughed, trying to convince myself. “Deacon got me a new phone for Christmas, I really should have called you ahead of time.”