Chapter 26
Noah
I stare at my phone, my heart overflowing with emotions I didn’t realize I was capable of. I sit down on the sofa, my eyes trailing over the family pictures surrounding me, a smile hurting my cheeks.
Grayson wants to propose to Aria. Those two… neither of them led easy lives. For a moment, when they first told me they were dating, I worried it’d lead to mutual destruction. I couldn’t be more happy that they proved me wrong.
Aria getting married… the thought of it fills me with happiness and loneliness all at once. I didn’t think either Aria or I would ever get married. Both of us are too broken, too haunted. Yet here she is, making me proud. She couldn’t have found a more perfect person to be her husband.
I stare at the phone in my hands, a different sense of loneliness washing over me. This is the best news I’ve received in years, and there’s no one to share it with. For years, all I focused on was my education and Aria’s upbringing. It left me with little to no time to make friends or socialize. I didn’t notice how lonely I was when Aria still lived at home, but now that she’s gone, it’s hitting me hard. Gray proposing means she won’t come back.
I look around the house, seeing it through different eyes. It suddenly feels too big, too quiet. I’m so used to being alone and battling demons, presenting the world with the person my parents would want me to be while I suffer in silence… but tonight I don’t want to.
I tighten my grip on my phone, hesitating for a brief moment as I scroll through my contacts, pausing on Amara’s name. The darkness within me isn’t something I’ve ever wanted to subject someone to. Not until now. Not until Amara. Amara changed everything the second she walked into my office with those flushed cheeks of hers, her blue eyes sparkling.
Since she walked into my life, the loneliness has become too much to bear. I long for her with a desperation that’s foreign to me. I bite down on my lip as I fight the urge to call her. It’s a losing battle.
She picks up almost instantly, startling me. “Hey,” I say, my voice soft.
“Hi,” she replies. “I’m surprised you called.”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I’ve tried to stay away from her, but I barely lasted two weeks. “I just got some great news, and you were the first person I wanted to share it with,” I murmur, realizing that it’s true. She flashed through my mind the second Grayson hung up the phone.
“Oh, what happened?” she asks, her tone lighter.
I smile to myself as I lean back on the sofa. “Grayson wants to propose to my sister. He asked for my help to set everything up.”
“Oh my gosh!” she says, genuinely sounding excited, and my smile broadens. This is what I love about her most. Her heart. She doesn’t even know Aria or Gray, but she’s genuinely happy for them.
“My sister and I have this tradition of sorts,” I murmur. “She bakes me a themed birthday cake every year, and I thought it’d be nice if I made her an engagement cake. What do you think?”
“That would be amazing, Noah. Oh! You could make it in the shape of an engagement ring! How nice would that be?”
I chuckle and shake my head. “I think that might be beyond me. I was going for something edible.”
Amara sighs, and my eyes fall closed. I miss her. These two weeks without her have been horrible. “I’ll help you. I love baking,” she says hesitantly.
“Would you really? Gray told me they’re flying in tomorrow, so I wanted to make the cake today. Do you… do you think you could come over to help me?”
I half expect her to say no. She hasn’t texted me since I saw her at her house, and I don’t blame her. She and I… we’re impossible.
“Yes, text me the address. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
“You’re the best,” I tell her, a mix of giddiness and nerves washing over me. I’m excited to see her. It’s only been two weeks, but it feels like a lifetime.
I’m restless as I text her the address, looking around the house to check if there’s anything I need to tidy up. I frown when I realize that I barely even use the house. All I do is eat and sleep. I don’t even remember the last time I watched TV.
The doorbell rings, snapping me out of my thoughts. I’m oddly nervous as I open the door, but my every thought melts away when my eyes land on her. She’s beautiful. She always looks stunning, but she looks especially breathtaking in the black dress she’s wearing tonight.
“Hey,” she says, and that smile… it makes my heart skip a beat. Amara’s eyes roam over my body and I take a step back, swallowing hard.
“Hey,” I murmur.
She walks into the house, and her floral scent lingers as she walks past me. Amara pauses in the hallway, her eyes drifting over the family photos. “Wow,” she says, tracing the edge of one of the photos with her fingertips. “You look just like your dad. I’d love to meet him one day. And that must be your sister? She looks just like your mom.”
I look up at the photo of the four of us and swallow hard. “Yeah, that’s my sister,” I say, my voice soft.
Amara turns to look at me, her brows raised. “What’s wrong?” she asks, her confusion obvious. So she doesn’t know, huh? I assumed she knew about my past, like her mother and grandfather do.
“It’s nothing, sweetheart. Come on, I’ll show you around.”
Amara holds up a grocery bag and grins. “I brought supplies. Show me where to put them.”
I nod and lead her to the kitchen, suddenly feeling self-conscious. My house is nice enough, but it’s nothing like hers. It’s tiny in comparison, and most of our things Aria found at garage sales. I can’t help but wonder if she’s comparing me to Gregory. I can’t even imagine what type of place that guy must live in, and I know I don’t measure up. Today it’s more clear than usual that she and I are from very different worlds, and it doesn’t sit well with me.
“You’re quiet,” Amara says as we walk into the kitchen. “Aren’t you excited about the proposal?”
I turn to look at her, taking in her blue eyes and her red hair, the freckles on her nose that are only ever visible when she isn’t wearing makeup. She’s beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful, right down to her soul. She deserves the best the world has to offer, and I’m not it.
“I’m excited, and a little sad too. I always expected Aria to come back home, you know? And now she won’t. I miss her. She’s the only family member I’ve got left, and I guess I’m feeling a little lonely. I’m happy for her, though. She deserves this.”
Amara’s eyes widen in shock. “I’m so sorry, Noah. I see… that’s why you looked so sad when I asked about your parents in the hallway. I didn’t realize.”
I lean in and brush her hair out of her face, my fingers lingering longer than they should. “I don’t talk about my parents, so there’s no way you could’ve known. They passed away when I was quite young,” I tell her as I unpack the groceries she brought.
I frown at one of the tiny bottles she brought. “What’s this for?” I ask, wanting to change the subject. I hate talking about my parents, because it always leads to pity, and I don’t want it from Amara.
She stares at me and bites down on her lip, hesitating before she forces a smile onto her face. “Noah, that’s vanilla. Are you kidding me? How were you going to bake a cake without it?”
I smile sheepishly. “I was just going to google it and hope for the best.”
Amara looks outraged, and I can’t help but chuckle. She leans in and snatches the bottle from me. “Okay,” she says, shaking her head, “you clearly cannot be trusted with this.”
She bumps her hip against mine, and I move aside to give her more space at the kitchen counter. She smiles at me and I sigh. I want this. I want this with her. I want to stand in the kitchen with her, doing the most mundane tasks. I want her in my house, in my space. Fucking hell. I can see Amara being my wife.
Chapter 27
Amara
My hands tremble as I grab the measuring
cup and fill it with flour. I’m nervous, being this close to Noah. Things have been strange between us, and I can’t quite figure out where we stand. He and I being friends… I can’t see it happening. The chemistry between us is impossible to ignore.
Noah moves behind me, placing his hands on either side of me as he leans over me, his chin on top of my shoulder. He watches my every move with such intensity you’d think I’m creating art instead of baking a simple cake.
“I thought we agreed to be friends,” I whisper, unable to help myself.
Noah tenses and moves away, turning around to lean against the counter, facing me. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
I look away, unable to hold his gaze. His expression is filled with the same heartache I’m feeling, and I hate feeling this helpless. I hate knowing that being with me could destroy his future. This thing between us… how could something that feels so good be so destructive?
“I forgot to tell you this because of the news about the proposal, but Gray also mentioned that his project wrapped up, and he’s available to meet with you now. We could go as early as next week if you want to.”
I gasp, almost dropping the cup of milk in my hands. “No way!”
Noah smiles, and the look in his eyes has my heart skipping a beat. It’s a knowing, intimate look. “Yeah,” he says. “You’re going to do amazing. I just know he’s going to be so impressed.”
“You really think so?”
He nods, and there isn’t a doubt in his eyes. He truly believes in me, more so than anyone else ever has, my own family included.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I really wish I could kiss you right now.”
Noah’s eyes drop to my lips and for a second I think he’s going to lean in and kiss me, but then he looks away and grabs the milk. “I’d better actually help with this cake,” he mutters.
He throws the milk in the blender and turns it on before I can stop him. “Noah, no!” I yell, just as the mixture goes flying everywhere, soaking us both before I manage to turn it off.
He looks perplexed, flour all over his face and hair as he turns to look at me and finds me just as messy. The horror on his face has a giggle rising up my throat, and I burst out laughing.
“Oh shit,” Noah says, frantically looking around the kitchen. He grabs a towel and presses it to my face, trying his best to clean off the stickiness and failing. “Why would it do that? Why would it just fucking explode?”
I giggle and wipe away a layer of flour from his forehead. “You’re supposed to put the lid on, genius.”
He hangs his head, and I grin to myself. He’s so incredibly cute. “It’s okay, Noah,” I tell him. “It’ll wash off.”
He nods and tips his head toward the staircase. “Let me show you to the bathroom,” he says, his cheeks pink. Dr. Grant, embarrassed. I never thought I’d see the day.
I’m quiet as I follow him up, my heart beating loudly. It’s hard to even explain the distance between us. It’s like we only just met, when we’ve known each other for months.
“Here you go,” Noah says, holding the door to the bathroom open for me. I smile awkwardly as I walk in, leaning back against the door the second it falls closed. I raise a hand to my chest, willing my heart to stop racing.
I take a steadying breath as I undress, feeling oddly vulnerable. There’s something about being naked in Noah’s house, knowing he isn’t far away. My hands tremble as I step into the shower, letting the water wet my hair. I smile to myself as chunks of sticky flour fall down and lean back against the wall. I’ve never seen him so flustered. For a while, I wondered if I meant anything to him at all. If, perhaps, he was just playing games with me. Now I know better. There’s nothing I can do with that information, and it doesn’t make our situation even remotely better, but it puts me at ease nonetheless.
I inhale deeply as I shampoo my hair, enjoying how much everything smells like Noah. By the time I step out of the shower, I’m grinning to myself, feeling happier than I have in weeks. I grab the clean towel Noah got me and dry off before wrapping it around me, suddenly feeling self-conscious. My clothes are soaked and filthy, and I forgot to ask Noah for a change of clothes.
I clutch my towel tightly as I walk out, finding Noah standing outside the door, leaning back against the wall. His eyes widen when he sees me, and the way his gaze travels up and down my body has my cheeks heating. He’s in gray sweats with a white tee, and this casual look is even hotter on him than his doctor’s coat.
Noah clears his throat awkwardly and holds out a t-shirt for me. “I got you this,” he murmurs. “But you can look through my sister’s clothes if you want. She wouldn’t mind.”
I shake my head and grab the t-shirt before rushing back into the bathroom, my heart running wild. What’s wrong with me? I’ve walked into his office with a sex toy stuck inside me, but now I’m nervous?
I swallow hard as Noah’s t-shirt falls over my body, covering up most of me. It doesn’t hide my nipples, though. Those are still clearly visible through his t-shirt, and it’s making me even more nervous.
I hesitate before walking out of the bathroom, feeling naked despite the t-shirt that covers my body. Noah clenches his jaw and looks away, but his gaze travels back to my body every few seconds. I can’t help but smile when I realize how hard he is. Those gray sweats don’t help him hide his erection in the slightest.
“Let me wash your clothes,” he says, holding out his hands. I hand him my clothes and he rushes off with them, disappearing around the corner. A soft chuckle escapes my lips as I make my way back down. We’re both nervous around each other. It’s weird, but it also makes me giddy. I haven’t felt this way since I was a teenager.
By the time Noah comes back down, I’ve got the cake base in the oven, safely out of his reach.
“Oh no,” he says, his expression crestfallen. “I wanted to help with that.”
I smile at him and nod. “You can help decorate it later. It’ll be done in an hour.”
He nods and tips his head toward the living room. I follow him quietly, feeling out of place. I feel like I’m intruding by being in his home.
Noah hands me the remote as he sits down on the sofa, patting the seat next to his. I join him, conscious of the way my clothes ride up. I’m barely paying attention as I scroll through the different tv shows, and I end up clicking on Modern Family, one of my favorite shows.
Noah smiles in approval and leans back, his gaze fixed to the TV, almost as though he’s avoiding looking at me.
“Hey,” I murmur. “Will you tell me about your sister? I’m a little nervous about meeting her.”
He turns to look at me, his eyes lingering on my lips. “My little sister… she’s my hero,” he says, a sweet smile on his face. “She practically raised herself, you know? Aria is the sweetest and most hardworking person I know. She’s an actual genius. Both she and Gray are software engineers. I can barely make sense of what she’s saying half the time, and the things she can do with a computer, it’s insane. I’m pretty sure she’s doing illegal shit half the time, and has been for years, but I’ve never worried about her because she’s got a heart of gold, and I just know that despite her incredible skills, she’d never abuse them.”
I nod, even more curious about Aria Grant. I tried googling her, but there was even less information available about her than there was about Noah.
“She’s going to love you,” he says, a knowing look in his eyes. “Be warned, though… I’ve never introduced a woman to my sister, and she’s going to overreact. Even if I tell her we’re just friends, she won’t believe me for a second.”
I grin as I try to form a picture of Aria. “I think I’m going to like her,” I tell him, and he nods.
“I think so too. How do you feel about meeting Gray next week? Are you ready?”
I nod. “I think so. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Good. I’ll book our tickets then.”
Noah hesitates and bites down on his lip, gla
ncing at me with an expression I can’t read.
“What is it?” I ask, my voice soft. The way he’s looking at me has my heart racing.
“I can’t get you off my mind, Amara. I’m trying to be friends with you, but all I can think about is how beautiful you look, sitting here wearing my t-shirt. I want to push you over so I can lean in and kiss you. I’m always thinking about you, and I just don’t think these feelings are going to disappear.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “One week,” he whispers. “If you feel the same way, then why don’t we spend one week together while we’re visiting Aria and Gray? It’s probably a terrible idea and while I sincerely hope it’ll help us get these feelings in check, it’ll probably just fuck us over even worse. Despite that, I can’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to hold your hand, to take you out on a date, to kiss you in public without worrying that your grandfather might find out.”
I force myself to look away, but I can’t help the way the edges of my lips turn up into a reluctant smile. “You know we shouldn’t.”
“I know,” he whispers.
Noah turns back to look at me, his eyes filled with the same desire I’m feeling. “One week. Just you and me, far away from everything. I’m not asking for anything, but I’m tired of being here. For just one single week I want to know what it’d be like if you weren’t who you are, and I’m just a guy that can love you freely. This thing between us won’t go away. Let’s give ourselves one week. After that… after that we’ll go back to being friends.”
My heart aches at his words, and I inhale shakily. “I want nothing more, Noah,” I whisper, and I do. I’d rather be with him for a week than wonder what it’d be like for the rest of my life. “One week.”
He nods, and when he smiles, his happiness is reflected in his eyes. I haven’t seen him smile like that in such a long time, and I want more of those smiles of his. Even if it’s just for one single week.
Chapter 28
Dr. Grant (Off-Limits) Page 12