by Unknown
I would forever remember the halo formed by sunlight in his hair as he looked down at me and the way his lips shivered with desire right before he pressed them to mine. Re was unforgettable and I knew the time I spent with him would become a bitter ache of regret if this part of my future was erased. I knew it because I already hoped that it wouldn't be, that one day I would have this again, have him again. And we all know what an evil bastard Hope is.
When I could stand no more of the bittersweet memories we were making, I got up and held my hand down to him. He sighed but nodded in acceptance and we went back into the ballroom of Duat, holding hands. I spent a few hours there with my lions and although Re stayed beside me the whole time, he didn't smother me and it turned out to be a comfortable, pleasant visit. My daughter finally took a seat beside me and I was able to get to know Lesya as well as catch up with my friends.
Anubis even seemed more at ease and we were able to talk about his wife. Hopefully, I'd find the source of my mistake and he wouldn't have to reconcile with her but just in case it took awhile, I convinced him to go and speak with her to patch things up between them. I have to admit that it really rankled to know that even there, in the Egyptian Underworld, I'd managed to screw things up. So I was going to try and fix as much of it as I could.
My departure from Duat was difficult, mainly because of Re. I didn't know what to say when he asked to see me again. So I ended up promising to contact him if I had any spare time between trying to figure things out. He seemed satisfied with that so I'd gone home with the living Intare and Hunter.
Kirill had been patient but as soon as we made it out of our tracing chamber, he whisked me up to our bedroom for a more intimate reunion. I was exhausted after such a long and emotional day but once I was alone with my black lion, all fatigue disappeared.
“I'm sorry I didn't zink to varn you about Re,” he said in a low voice.
“You don't owe me any apologies,” I kissed him gently. “You've been wonderful, so patient.”
“How could I not be?” He grinned and took my hands as they reached for him. “Just to stand beside you is more zan I'd ever hoped to have again. Every moment is a treasure.”
“Every moment between us has always been a treasure,” I leaned in to hug him. When I pulled back, I paused, unsure of how he would take my next question. “I didn't want to ask this back in Duat but now that we're home. Why didn't I choose...?”
“Toby?” He asked with a grim smile.
“When did I become so predictable?” I laughed at myself. “Yes, Toby. He'd been the first one I'd thought of, not Anubis.”
“I know,” he sighed. “Best to let Anubis have zat small comfort zough.”
“I thought so too,” I chewed at my lip. “So, Toby? Is he alive?”
“Alive and vell,” Kirill nodded. “He has found love, Vervain. Zat is vhy you didn't choose him.”
“Oh,” I smiled, a warm happiness filling my chest. Toby was loved. He deserved that and I was glad I hadn't ruined his happiness too.
“You are not upset?” Kirill frowned.
“Why would I be upset?” I frowned back. “Toby finding someone to love is wonderful. I'm so relieved and very happy for him. Now I can go back with the knowledge that Toby will be alright. But Re upsets me. I wish the magic had felt like I do; like there's enough love in my life. I don't want any more.”
“I still remember ze day you told me I vould have been enough for you,” Kirill smiled slowly as his hands traced up my arms to my face, the light touch leaving shivers in its wake. “Zat you vould have been happy vith only me.”
“Kirill, any woman would be happy with only you,” I shook my head in disbelief. “What's amazing is that all of you are happy with only me.”
“Zat is not at all amazing,” he grinned as he started to lift my dress.
Talk ceased as I let him undress me and then I began to help him with his clothes. He'd lost weight and I hadn't noticed until that moment. I didn't say anything, just trailed my finger over his prominent ribs and then up to his shorn hair. He caught my hand and kissed it.
“It doesn't matter now,” he said gently.
Then he showed me what did matter; the love he'd held onto through all the tragedy. He had mourned, he had been damaged, but he had also got back on his feet and supported our daughter. Something Arach had failed to do. Kirill had used our love as a source of power he could draw upon when he felt weak, instead of letting it break him. He had honored our love and me in the best way he knew how, by protecting our child and the legacy she deserved.
That strength came through every touch of his hand, every kiss and movement of his hips against mine. Kirill, once so broken that the Intare thought it would be a mercy to kill him, was now the strongest man I knew. I was so overwhelmed by who he'd become and so very in love with him. Thoughts of everyone else faded away until only he and I existed. I forgot about the past and the future as time became meaningless in his arms.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“You didn't break,” I whispered much later as we lay in bed together. “You didn't let my death break you.”
“It did break me,” Kirill looked down at me with eyes full of tragedy. “First you died and zen Trevor. I felt so alone. I vanted to die too. I curled up right here,” his hand stroked the bed beside him. “And I vaited for death to take me.”
“But you didn't die,” I sat up because this felt too serious to discuss laying down.
“Lesya came in one day,” he sat up too and laid his large palm on my cheek. “She sounded just like you. She said; You vill not die on me too. You vill get up and be my father.” He stopped to laugh. “It jolted me out of my despair and I could almost see you standing zere next to her, looking at me vith angry eyes. I knew you vould not approve of me giving up and leaving our daughter alone. I knew if I vere to go to ze Void, you vould never speak to me and zat vas vhat got me up and out of zis bed.”
“So even after I was dead, I still scared you,” I teased.
“You still motivated me,” he corrected gently. “I love you. I love you so much, it seems like all I have sometimes is our love. But Lesya reminded me zat it's not. I have her now too. We have her. You gave me zat; a part of yourself combined vith a part of me. Zank you for our Lesya. I vould be dead vithout her. She saved me just as you once did.”
“She's pretty wonderful,” I swallowed hard as I remembered Samara's words.
What if she disappeared? What if Kirill never had his daughter? I took a deep breath and realized that this was all in my control. I could decide to give Kirill a child and there was a chance it wouldn't be Lesya but part of me knew that she was meant to be born. All of my children were, just as all of my men were meant to be with me. I'd made a wrong turn somewhere but that didn't mean the lives of my children had been a mistake. A sense of peace settled over me and I pulled Kirill down against the pillows beside me.
“You taught her zat,” Kirill's hand was in my hair, playing with it absently as he spoke. “You taught her to be strong and fight for vhat she vanted.”
“I'm sure I wasn't the only one who taught her how to be strong,” I looked up at him. “She may have prodded you out of your despair but you still made the choice to get up. Arach didn't.”
“Vhat?” He frowned and pulled back a little so he could see me better.
“You saw him, didn't you?” I asked. “Arach said you tried to get him to release my body so you could show it to Azrael.”
“Da,” Kirill sighed. “But I'd zought he'd eventually recover. Arach is strong man. I didn't zink he vould give up entirely. Is he dead?”
“No, he didn't die,” I gave a grim smile. “He's immortal, he couldn't unless someone killed him. He just stayed down in that cave with Dexter, my body, and that horrible glass coffin.”
“Like Snow Vhite,” Kirill nodded and I chuckled.
“Exactly,” I chewed at my lip. “Did you bury Trevor?”
“Nyet,” Kirill took a shaky breath. �
�Fenrir took him and ve had Viking funeral. On boat, like for Odin and Ull. Zat vas vhen I cut my hair. I put it on boat vith Trevor.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” I rubbed my fingers over his short hair. “I'm so sorry. You were there with him? When he died?”
“Of course,” Kirill's eyes filled with tears and he had to take a deep breath before continuing. “It vasn't as bad as last time, vhen Anubis had you and Trevor almost died. Zis time, he vanted to die. He barely made a sound, just held my hand and smiled as death took him.”
“Trevor,” I started to sob and Kirill held me tighter.
“I felt like he vas lucky and I vas so angry at him,” Kirill confessed. “He got to join you in ze Void vhile I had to stay here and mourn you both.”
“Kirill,” I shook my head. “I'm so proud of you, so totally in awe of your strength.”
“I alvays believed you vere my strength but zen you died and I realized zat no, you vere not,” he gave a little smile. “You simply showed me how to be strong, reminded me of who I vas before Nyavirezi.”
“I'm glad you know that now,” I sighed. “And my son with Trevor? I heard he's running Moonshine.”
“He's very good at it,” Kirill smiled sadly. “I tried to be zere for him but Vero didn't vant his uncle, he vanted his parents. I understood and let him go. I had enough going on here and I'm afraid I may have failed him. I'm sorry, Vervain. I should have vatched over him better.”
“It's okay,” I kissed his cheek. “I hear also that he's working with the God Squad.”
“Da, he is a lot like you,” Kirill gave a low chuckle. “Alvays fighting for vhat is right. He likes ze fight, maybe too much now.”
“I want to see him too but maybe I should just leave him be.”
“He vill vant to see you,” Kirill angled his face to see mine. “It vill be shock but a good one.”
“Okay,” I hugged him tight for a second and then glanced around the room. “Why is it so clean in here? Not that it's ever been very messy but this is pristine.”
“I've been sleeping in my room,” he nodded to the stairway that led up to the left tower. “I couldn't bear to come back to zis bed vithout you in it.”
“Well, I'm in it now,” I sighed. “And I need to figure out where everything went wrong so this bed is never empty again.”
“Zen ve'd better start figuring zis out,” he declared.
“Do you have any ideas?”
“Nyet,” Kirill frowned. “I zink it's time to call ze Squad.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kirill, Lesya, and I walked into Bilskinir Hall hesitantly. I had thought it would be better to tell Thor about everything in person but as I strode through the gleaming, white hallways of his home, I began to have second-thoughts. Kirill had said Thor was married now and I was terribly happy for him. So maybe I shouldn't have popped up at his home like a crazy ex-girlfriend. Thor would understand but his new wife may not.
“Maybe we should have called,” I whispered to Kirill.
“Vait,” Kirill held up a hand. “I hear voices.”
“In your head?” I lifted a brow. “Don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal.”
“Nyet,” Kirill spared a second to chuckle. “Listen.”
I did and sure enough, my exceptional hearing picked up a heated conversation. Several voices were speaking and I recognized most of them. I picked up my pace and headed towards the dining room. The door was open and I strode through with a bright smile.
“Thor's right,” I entered their conversation smoothly. “I'm alive.”
“Vervain!” Torrent shouted into the sudden silence as he jumped up and ran over to me.
“Torrent!” I shouted back exuberantly as I hugged him.
He looked completely human now. His hair had warmed to a more golden blonde and was styled back from his forehead. His eyes were brilliant green with hints of blue and his skin had darkened to a healthy pinkish-beige. His body has filled out too, chest and arms muscled nicely. In short; he looked wonderful.
“How's this possible?” He asked but I couldn't answer him because the others had got to their feet and surrounded us while we were distracted. I was pulled into a hug by Thor first.
“Vervain,” he squeezed me tight. “I knew it. I felt our connection come alive.”
“I didn't even think of that,” I gave a huffing laugh.
I had only a brief glimpse of Thor but it was enough to register the beard he now sported. It was trimmed close to show off the angle of his jaw, and was a deep auburn. It looked good on him, emphasizing his ocean eyes, and I would have said so if Pan hadn't yanked me away.
“Damn, V!” Pan cried as he hugged me. “I thought I'd never see your face again.”
“It's good to see you too, Pan,” I laughed and then focused closer on him. His hair was longer, long enough that he could pull it back into a ponytail. This made his riot of curls look almost tame and also showed off the little horns atop his head, which had previously been hidden. He gave me a wide grin before I was whisked away again.
“Vervain,” Persephone was crying. “I missed you so much.”
“I would have missed you too,” I said as I hugged her. “But I actually saw you not too long ago.” Then I realized that her stomach was bumping into mine, making us strain to reach each other. I pulled back and stared down at her bulging belly. “A baby?”
“And you too,” she smiled as she wiped away her tears. “Wait, what do you mean; you just saw me?”
“Give her a moment to reunite with everyone, Bunny-Nose. Then we can start with the questions,” Hades reached around his wife and hugged me. “I'm so glad to see you, Vervain.”
“Thanks, hot stuff,” I winked at the Lord of the Underworld.
“Vervain,” a voice like a gentle river washed over me and soft hands urged me to turn into Mrs. E's embrace. “We've all mourned you deeply.”
“Welcome back, Vervain,” Mr. T added his hug to his wife's, both of them surrounding me at once. I was relieved to see that neither of them had changed. It was actually kind of ironic, since one of Mrs E's titles was; She Who Changes.
“Come on now, it's my turn,” Finn claimed me next and I had a brief look at his beautiful Irish eyes before I was enveloped by the swan-shifter.
Finn was more muscled now, closer in build to Thor, and it made his hug feel different. I pulled away and looked at the biceps straining his T-shirt and then back up to his face. There was something different there too, something sharper than before, but I couldn't put my finger on it. He laid a warm hand to my cheek but it was brief because again, I was pulled away.
“Damn, girl,” Artemis shook her head as she and Hekate tag teamed me like female wrestlers. They came at me from both sides and squeezed the air from my lungs.
“I've never been so happy to see a dead woman,” Hekate added as they freed me so I could breathe.
I was about to reply when I was stunned into silence by Hekate. Hekate, aka Kate, loved to dress Goth. It was kind of a thing with her and her besties, the Lamia (vampiric underworld spirits). But now, her long, curly hair was soft black instead of purple, her pale skin had a hint of color to it, her piercings and Goth-wear were gone, and she was wearing a blush-colored blouse with tan slacks. Tan slacks!
“Um, Kate, what happened to you?” I blinked at her. “Did you have babies? Are you a... I can't even say it.” I cleared my throat and tried again. “Are you a soccer mom?!”
“Oh hell no,” she looked as horrified as I felt. “I just got tired of the routine. I wanted a new look.”
“Oh, alright then,” I relaxed... and was grabbed from behind.
“Vervain,” Morpheus kissed my cheek and I turned to give him a hug. Morph hadn't changed a bit but then he had the option of looking however he wished. At least when he was in the Dream Realm or his Cave of Dreams in the Greek Underworld. That kind of craziness can make you long for something stable.
“You look good, Morph,” I said before I was urged into
another embrace.
“Welcome back to the living,” Teharon kissed my cheek.
“We've missed you,” Karni Mata added.
“That we have,” Brahma pulled me away and hugged me.
“The you-know-what has been hitting the proverbial fan,” Sarasvati added.
“What?” I frowned but Brahma pulled Sara away as he shushed her. I would have pursued it but Horus stepped up.
“It's good to have you back, Godhunter,” Horus said stiffly but his metallic eyes had the shine of tears in them.
“Come here, bird man,” I grinned and pulled him into a hug. “I know you missed me. Admit it.”
“I did,” Horus whispered before he pulled away.
I turned, expecting one more hug, but Blue wasn't there. Frowning, I searched the room for him. As I continued to look, the faces around me grew anxious, making me anxious. I finally settled my gaze on Thor.
“Where's Blue?” I asked and watched his eyes twitch. “Thor, please tell me you didn't kick Blue out of the Squad just because I died.”
“I didn't,” Thor looked away.
“Well then, where is he?” I looked at the others but everyone was avoiding my gaze.
“He's dead, V,” Torrent could always be trusted to tell me the truth.
“What?” I blinked in shock. “How?”
“A woman named Eztli killed him,” Thor took over for Torr. “She was the first vampire created by Blue.”
“His first vampire?” I growled. “You mean that Salma Hayek wannabe?”
“Salma Hayek?” Thor blinked.
“Salma played an Aztec vampire in From Dusk til Dawn,” I explained.