'I'll pick you up at five tomorrow afternoon,' he said when she had given him the necessary directions, and Julia watched him drive away moments later with a suffocating sensation gripping her chest.
CHAPTER FOUR
Julia was not looking forward to the evening ahead of her, and her dread of having to go out to Honeywell had afforded her a sleepless night. She had prayed that something might occur to cancel the arrangement, but Damian had arrived at her cottage at five o'clock sharp on the Saturday afternoon, and he had been as adamant as the day before that she should accompany him… or else! She was not entirely convinced that he would carry out his threat, but she dared not take the chance. If Nathan had to be told the truth, then she would prefer that he heard it from her and from no one else.
She clasped her hands nervously in her lap, and her tension increased when Damian's silver Jaguar picked up speed on the open gravel road which led north to Honeywell. The soil was rich, and the climate was perfect for citrus and vegetable farming, but Honeywell had been a cattle-ranch known far and wide for its good-quality beef. Was Nathan planning to change all that? Her anxiety escalated at the mere thought of him, and her tightly clenched hands felt clammy.
'I presume Nathan is aware that you have asked me to be your partner for the evening?' She broke the silence between Damian and herself.
'I saw no reason to hide it from him,' Damian replied without taking his eyes off the road which lay shimmering ahead of them in the late afternoon sun.
Bitterness tainted the smile that curved Julia's soft mouth. 'I imagine he wasn't very pleased.'
'He didn't say a word, but I did happen to notice a brief look of dissatisfaction on Marcia Grant's face when I mentioned your name.'
There was a nervous flutter at the pit of her stomach when she glanced at Damian curiously. 'Do you think Marcia's aware of the fact that Nathan and I were once engaged to be married?'
'I have no idea what he's told her.' Damian frowned and turned his coppery head to meet her glance briefly. 'Marcia's a very possessive lady, and you might as well know that she considers every unattached female a threat to her relationship with Nathan.'
Julia's dread of the evening ahead of her was increasing with every passing second, and she changed the subject in the hope of easing the tension inside her. 'You mentioned two other couples.'
'The Marlows and the Sampsons,' Damian nodded, and a cynical smile curved his wide mouth. 'They're Marcia's friends rather than Nathan's, and I don't know much about them except that Marcia never surrounds herself with people who are not wealthy, or influential, or both.'
The words wealthy and influential made Julia lower her glance rather dubiously to her white cotton slacks and the sleeveless yellow knitted top. A braai was usually a casual, outdoor affair, but she was beginning to think that she should gave selected something more elaborate from her inexpensive wardrobe.
'You're not painting a very pretty picture of Marcia Grant,' she pointed out, glancing unobtrusively at Damian and finding a certain amount of comfort in the fact that he was wearing a white open-necked shirt, faded blue denims, and canvas shoes.
'I'm not trying to influence your opinion of her,' Damian assured her in a tight-lipped manner, 'but I think you ought to know what you're going to be up against.'
Julia felt like a junior nurse who was being primed by her superior before being sent to assist in the theatre for the first time, and a nervous laugh escaped her. 'Don't tell me you suspect that Marcia and I are heading towards some sort of clash.'
'The possibility cannot be overlooked.' Damian smiled at her briefly, but his smile never reached his green eyes beneath the straight, bushy brows. 'Marcia has a habit of dealing swiftly and viperously with someone whom she considers a competitor.'
'I have no desire to compete with her,' Julia protested with a measure of distaste.
'That isn't strictly true,' Damian contradicted her statement. 'If you were offered a second chance you would take it.'
He had a disconcerting way of digging down to the very root of a matter, but she was not going to let him startle her into making a confession.
'I'm not looking for a second chance,' she argued against that treacherous voice of her heart. 'When I ended my engagement to Nathan five years ago I knew that I would have to put that chapter of my life behind me for ever.'
'You may have put him out of your mind, Julia, but you have never put him out of your heart.'
She could not decide whether it was a liability or an asset to have a friend who knew her so well, but Damian had succeeded in stripping her of the will to persist with her denials, and her sarcastic reply was directed at herself. 'I'm sure Nathan has succeeded where I have failed.'
'It's a funny thing, Julia, but a man seldom forgets the woman he couldn't have.'
Don't do this to me, Damian! she wanted to cry out. Don't give me hope where I know there is none!
The entrance to Honeywell lay ahead of them, and Julia's heart was beating heavily against her ribs when Damian drove through the arched entrance and up between the grazing-camps towards the house which nestled amongst the tall, shady trees. She had visited the farm twice with Roland when it had still belonged to the Breedts, and she would never forget their warm hospitality, but she was not expecting the same reception from Nathan.
Damian parked his Jaguar beneath the half-dozen shallow steps leading up on to the wide veranda running along the south and east sides of the house, and she was relieved to see that the old-fashioned grandeur of the stone building had remained outwardly untouched except for the repair of the stone pillars which supported the thatched roof covering the veranda.
Julia slipped the strap of her white sling-bag over her shoulder when she got out of the car, and she was waiting for Damian to join her when something made her turn and look up to see Nathan framed in the entrance to the house. She was aware of a wild leaping of her pulses when he stepped out on to the veranda, and her senses were stirred at the sight of his tall, magnificently proportioned body in a brown shirt and creamy slacks which had been tailored to fit snugly across lean hips and muscular thighs.
'Hello, Nathan,' she greeted him with a calmness she had dredged up from somewhere, and she held out her hand to him when he came down the steps towards them, but his cool glance skipped over her, ignoring her gesture of friendliness as if she did not exist.
His snub sent a wave of heat into her face, but it receded the next instant to leave her chilled as she with-drew her outstretched hand self-consciously to clutch her white cotton jacket against her body in a subconscious attempt to add a little warmth to this icy, hostile world she had entered.
'That was quick,' he addressed Damian who had stepped up beside Julia to place an arm about her shoulders as if to comfort her in her moment of distress, and Nathan's eyes narrowed perceptibly as he followed the action.
'One of the things Julia could always be complimented on was her punctuality, remember?' Damian jogged Nathan's memory with a smooth deliberation which heightened Julia's discomfort.
Nathan's features tightened with anger, and Julia steeled herself for his response, but Marcia chose that moment to join them.
Elegant and sophisticated in a shimmering black top and close-fitting slacks, Marcia's speculative glance rested briefly on Julia before she linked her arm through Nathan's in a gesture which spoke clearly of possession. 'Darling, I think it's time to light the fire.'
Nathan nodded in agreement, and he once again addressed Damian as if Julia were not there. 'Come in and help yourself to a drink.'
Julia was reluctant to follow Nathan and Marcia into the house, and she leaned back hesitantly against Damian's protective arm.
'I would like to suggest that you forgive Nathan for his appalling lack of manners,' Damian remarked when Nathan and Marcia were out of earshot, and anger marred his usually amiable features.
'I shouldn't have allowed you to blackmail me into coming here this evening,' she replied in a voice which was
calm despite the fact that she was shaking inwardly in the aftermath of Nathan's rude snub.
'It's obvious that Nathan intends to make you feel ill at ease, but you have the strength of character not to allow him that victory.'
Julia looked up into Damian's freckled face and forced her stiff lips into a smile. 'Thank you for trying to boost my morale.'
'Come, let me pour you a drink before I introduce you to everyone else.'
Damian ushered her into the house, and she was pleasantly surprised to see that the decor in the large entrance hall and living-room had been altered to project an image of lightness and airiness which appealed to her when she recalled how dark and dismal these rooms had once been. Sliding glass doors had been installed in the living-room, and it led out on to the side veranda where everyone had gathered in an area surrounding a newly built barbecue. A glass of wine was placed in Julia's hand, and Damian helped himself to a beer before he introduced her to the rest of Nathan's guests.
Jack Marlow and Walter Sampson were both businessmen from Johannesburg, and Julia guessed the ages of the two men and their wives somewhere between thirty-five and forty. The cut of their casual clothes indicated wealth, but both couples were so friendly and so totally unpretentious that Julia felt some of the tension easing out of her. Beatrice Sampson had been a nurse before her marriage, and discovering that she had something in common with Julia led to a lengthy conversation which helped Julia over those first awkward moments.
The fire had been lit, and the smell of woodsmoke permeated the air. The atmosphere was relaxing, but Julia could not shake off that awkward feeling that she was there on sufferance, and she was not blind to the fact that Marcia was observing her at times with a look of suspicion in her dark, almond-shaped eyes. Damian lingered at the barbecue with the men, but he did not neglect Julia, and he was quick to come to her rescue whenever he suspected that she might be feeling threatened.
The veranda and barbecue area were lit with coloured lights after sunset, and the meat was grilling on the glowing embers of the fire. The aroma was appetising, but Julia was beginning to suspect that she would not be able to eat a thing. Tension had gripped her throat during the course of the evening, and it was fast becoming an effort to speak. She had tried desperately not to glance in Nathan's direction, but her eyes had been drawn to him repeatedly as if by a magnet. She wished that she could have ignored him as he had ignored her all evening, but it was impossible. She was aware of him with every breath she took and every labouring beat of her heart. She was aware also of the easy intimacy between Nathan and Marcia. Every smile they exchanged was like a knife being given a vicious twist in her heart, and she could only pray that she was not making her emotional dilemma known to everyone else.
Julia had to admit that Marcia was a bright and charming hostess and, with the help of a servant, she brought out an array of salads which she arranged on the long table at the other end of the veranda. Everyone helped themselves when the meat was brought to the table, and Julia spooned food on to her plate which she knew she would have to make a pretence of eating. She helped herself to the smallest piece of braaivleis she could find, and when she looked up her glance collided unexpectedly with Nathan's. He held her glance effortlessly, and the icy indifference she glimpsed in his eyes struck deep. Her throat started to ache, and she looked away before he saw the tears which were stinging her eyelids.
Damian appeared at her side as if in answer to a call, and he involved her in a pleasantly casual conversation which gave her the opportunity to regain her composure without anyone noticing her predicament. Julia flashed him a grateful smile when they walked away from the table to sit down with their plates on their laps, and he winked at her encouragingly.
Music was relayed out on to the wide veranda from an indoor hi-fi system, and it was not long before the dancing started. Julia was not exactly in the mood to dance, but she could not refuse Damian, and they were dancing some distance away from the others when a hand on his shoulder made them stop abruptly and draw apart to find Nathan confronting them.
He was stony-faced, and there was something ominous in the rigid set of his square jaw when his cold glance flicked briefly in Julia's direction before settling on Damian.
'As one friend to another,' Nathan began in a voice that was cold and harsh, 'I think I ought to warn you that you're involving yourself with a woman who is totally without scruples. She is nothing but a tease who will play with your emotions and drop you flat for the fun of it.'
'Now, look here, Nathan! I think it's time you—'
'Damian!'
Julia had cried out his name instinctively, her hand gripping his arm to stop him in time, and her initial flush of embarrassment had faded to leave her pale when she realised that Damian was angry enough to reveal her secret.
'I'm damned if I'm going to let him insult you like this!' Damian protested fiercely, his voice lowered to a harsh whisper to keep this verbal altercation private, but his green eyes were blazing with an angry fire, and his features had become set with a frightening determination.
'Damian, please!' she begged softly, her fingers digging urgently into the muscled flesh of his arm while terror was taking a suffocating grip on her lungs.
'She knows I've told you the truth,' Nathan cut in with a ring of savage cynicism in his voice. 'You'll make an idiot of yourself if you defend her, and that's what she's trying to prevent.'
Damian stiffened, and the warning pressure of Julia's fingers increased on his arm. She had never seen him this angry before, and she would not blame him if he revealed the truth about her, but… please, God, not now. Not like this!
'In all the years we've known each other,' he said at length, 'this is the first time I've had the desire to knock you down, Nathan, but it's not the strength of our friendship that has stayed my hand this evening, it's the knowledge that you will in time regret your vile accusations, and to have that on your conscience will be sufficient punishment.' Damian moved his shoulders as if to shake off his anger, and his arm relaxed at last beneath Julia's punishing grip as he turned to her and muttered, 'Let's go for a walk before I say more than I intend to.'
Julia did not protest when Damian ushered her away from Nathan and down the veranda steps into the moonlit garden. Fear had made her heart beat so hard and fast in her throat that it was some minutes before she could breathe normally again, and she walked with Damian in silence for what seemed like an eternity before she stopped and turned to face his shadowy form in the darkness.
'I want you to know that I appreciate your concern, but I would prefer you not to involve yourself with my problem, Damian,' she reasoned quietly. 'You were there five years ago when I needed someone to confide in, and I'm glad you know the truth, but the very last thing I want is to come between two people who have been close friends and colleagues for so many years.'
'Nathan has to be told the truth, Julia,' he insisted with that edge of fury still lingering in his voice. 'Your determination to remain silent is merely encouraging him to make these disgusting and degrading assumptions.'
'I'll tell him the truth,' she promised gravely, 'but I have to do so in my own good time.' The only answer she received was the sound of the music drifting out to where they stood in the shadows of the spacious garden, and she was overcome with mental exhaustion when she touched his arm imploringly. 'Do you think you could take me home?'
'Certainly,' he agreed roughly. 'I think I could do with a drive into town to cool off.'
'I'll have to get my handbag and my jacket.'
'I'll come with you.'
'That won't be necessary,' she declined his offer hastily. 'I'd prefer it if you waited for me in your car.'
'Perhaps that might be wise,' he laughed shortly. 'I'm still in the right mood to bash a few home truths into Nathan's head.'
'That's what I'm afraid of,' she admitted, leaving him there in the darkened garden to make her own way back to the house.
She did not see Nathan w
hen she stepped on to the veranda to collect her handbag and jacket which she had left on her chair, and she had no intention of going in search of him merely to be snubbed and insulted once again.
'I hope we meet again some day,' Beatrice Sampson announced when Julia said a hasty goodnight to everyone, but Marcia had a look on her face that said, 'Not if I can help it!'
Julia took a short cut through the house to leave through the front door, but, to her dismay, Marcia followed her.
'I'd like a private word with you before you leave, Julia,' she said, opening a door into a room which had been changed into a small private lounge, and she stood aside for Julia to precede her into the room. Marcia's dark glance was coldly assessing when she closed the door behind her, and she came directly to the point. 'I know you were once engaged to Nathan, but that was in the past, and that's where Nathan and I would prefer it to stay.'
Julia had to suppress a crazy desire to laugh. Marcia had no way of knowing it, but she was flogging a battered and defenceless opponent, and Julia had her rigid training as a nurse to thank for the ability to mask her feelings behind an outwardly calm expression.
'I have no desire to rake up the past, and neither do I wish to rekindle an old relationship which is now as dead as ashes,' Julia answered her coldly, and at that moment she meant every word she said.
'I'm very glad to hear that, but I don't imagine it would do the slightest harm to warn you that I have no intention of tolerating your interference in our lives.' Marcia's crimson mouth was curved in a smile, but there was venom in the almond-shaped eyes that met Julia's unwavering glance. 'You had your chance with him once, but you lost it when you jilted him, and I know that he'll never forgive you for putting him through that humiliating experience. He's mine now, and you would do well to remember that!'
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