by Emily Ward
Copyright 2019 by (Emily Ward) - All rights reserved. In no way is it legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless with written permission from the publisher. All rights reserved. Respective authors own all copyrights not held by the publisher.
The Infamous Marriage
By: Emily Ward
The Infamous Marriage
Chapter 1
Clarissa was just twelve years old when she met a boy who changed her life. His name was Edward Grey and she was smitten immediately. By his wit and his charm. He always seemed to make her smile even when she didn't feel like it. Clarissa was consumed by her need to see him all the time, and by the desire to soak up his every word. And at first, that was alright – because her parents had no inkling into their many adventures. No idea that their daughter's heart was stolen by the intriguing, raven-haired boy.
She knew her father wouldn't approve of their relationship. 'Never give your heart to someone who you will not marry' he would tell her. He always made sure she knew that, even before she started taking an interest in boys. Her mother – ever dramatic where Clarissa's short-comings were concerned – would cry and try to convince her that she'd betrayed the family, again. She was always hard on Clarissa, during her studies when she would have extra trouble with things, and especially where being a lady was concerned. Everything would come crumbling down around her, so Clarissa tried everything in her power to keep their relationship a secret.
Her father had already broken her heart twice by the time she met Edward. Chasing away the boys who took an interest in her, and her in them. First, was the farmer's son Eli, whom she had met when running an errand for her mother. She was supposed to meet the farmer, but he was out on an errand himself, so Clarissa dealt with Eli instead. The pair immediately were infatuated with one another, and she didn't want to miss any opportunity to see him again, so she started making the egg runs more often. Eventually her father found out and put an end to it, reminding Clarissa that she couldn't give her heart away so flippantly to anybody; it had to go to her husband.
The second time, she had fallen for the maid's son Rafael. She thought he was the most handsome boy in the world, and he was funny. Always making her laugh and then chasing her around the garden with worms to make her squirm. It wasn't until they played a game of house that her father found out, catching them in the act of Clarissa's first kiss. He dragged Rafael out of the closet by his collar and demanded that they both leave. Once again, with more force this time, he reminded her of the one thing; and made her repeat it a hundred times. The next day, there was a new maid and she would be the last maid they had.
She was confused, later that year, when her father eventually found out about Edward – who had promised to marry her when they were old enough. He was furious, screaming at her and throwing words like 'harlot' and 'trollop' around. She hadn't understood what that meant at the time, all she knew was her father was disappointed in her and she didn't understand why. Edward wasn't a farmer's son nor a maid's son. He was another high-society family, they had met at the first winter brunch for heaven's sake! So, why was her father so upset at her?
“You cannot canoodle with the Grey family, Clarissa. I forbid it!” her father lectured her later that evening at home.
“But, why not? You said I can only give my heart to someone I'll marry. And Edward said he wants to marry me!” she argued, crossing her arms stubbornly.
He sighed heavily, touching her shoulder gingerly. “You misunderstand, my love. There are certain etiquettes that must be followed when a daughter marries. I must approve of the boy who will steal you away from us.”
Clarissa remembered being heartbroken, and of her dream to marry Edward and being his loving, doting wife crushed. She didn't pursue anyone after that, not that the boys stopped trying. For every rose, every smile, every peck on her hand, Clarissa only felt less in control of her love life. What was marriage without love? She wondered.
The hopeless romantic in Clarissa never died, however. She continued to try and see the good in life, each time she was pursued by a man who resembled her lost love, Clarissa tried to sway her father's opinion. She would tell him about the raven-haired boy who was kind. Of the boy with the slightly up-turned lips who told her she was beautiful. Anything she could to try and compromise with her father, to keep a hold on that boy who may have made her very happy.
But, he remained stoic anytime she brought up the subject, a vault with nothing to give and no way of getting inside to figure anything out. Her mother wasn't much better either, reminding her that it wasn't up to her and that every girl goes through this. Clarissa wished that her mother would show her some semblance of sympathy, or maybe it was empathy that she craved.
In the ten years since Clarissa had last seen Edward, she has blossomed into a smart, capable, beautiful young woman. She is sophisticated and optimistic, albeit a bit of a daydreamer. For years she complied with her parents' demands, focusing on her studies, slowly becoming the perfect woman for whomever her father decided could marry her. All she wanted was a happy, well-loved life and to at least like her husband; whoever that might be.
It took every bit of her willpower not to become bitter as she attended her friend's weddings. She watched while they got to marry who they loved, she congratulated and wished them well as she had been taught. Sure, it made her happy to see her friends so loved by their husbands. But, she couldn't help but feel hollow whenever they brought up her own marital status, giving the same monotone response she had rehearsed a million times before; Hopefully this year my father will pick a man who is worthy.
In her present year, Clarissa spent most of her time reading by her bedroom window, watching the seasons change and the inside stay the same. She was feeling restless and cooped up, but had no desire to go out into the world with no one to share in the adventures she loved so much as a child. Even now, she can't help but think about what it would be like today, if she had been allowed to continue seeing Edward. Would they go on more adventures? Would they have children by now? What would they name them?
She sighed heavily, closing her book onto her index finger as she gazed out at the still, white blanket on the ground. Winter had come quickly this year, endless amounts of snow and frost plaguing the farmers crops. It had some people scared for the following spring, but Clarissa knew that everything would be alright, blooming as it always did. No need for senseless panic, she thought.
A soft rap at her door pulled her eyes from the strong, tall tree outside her window and she called for them to come in. The door opening to reveal Gwen, a short, heavy-set woman in her later years with long silver hair and wise brown eyes behind rounded glasses. She had been the Wakefield's maid for just over ten years now, and pretty much Clarissa's favorite person in the house.
“Good evening, Ms. Clarissa,” she greeted fondly as Clarissa ran into her arms and embraced the woman affectionately. “How are you doing, dear? I haven't seen you all day, you're not getting into too much trouble up here, are you?”
Clarissa laughed melodically. “No, of course not! I've just been reading a really good book 's all. How are you doing tonight, Gwen?”
“Ah, my joints are sore from the frost, but I'm alright. I hate to cut our pleasantries short, my dear, but your mother requests your presence in the parlor. She said it was very important, something your father has to tell you.” Gwen ruffled her honey locks playfully with a kind smile.
Clarissa's nose scrunched up and she sighed. “Did she seem mad? Mot
her's always so mad lately, I don't know why. I just hope I didn't do something wrong,” she rambled, picking at her cuticles nervously.
Gwen swatted her hand and gave her a stern look. “What have I told you about that?”
“Not to do it because it's unladylike,” Clarissa murmured and put her hands behind her back like a scolded child.
“Exactly, now you better get downstairs and see what your parents want, dear. And, no I don't know what it's about, but your mother seemed content.” She told her dismissively, waving her hand toward the door.
Though Gwen had given her a little bit of insight, Clarissa was still very worried that she was walking into a scolding or two from her parents, slowly descending the stairs and staring out the glass window panes as she did. It'll be okay, you didn't do anything wrong, she reassured herself as she neared the end of the hallway. Her footsteps felt too small, swallowed by her nerves, and she willed herself to move faster as she came face to face with the open parlor door.
Inside she found her parents sitting by the roaring fireplace, hands clasped and whispered voices sounding either excited or worried, Clarissa couldn't tell. She shook her head, held it high, and announced herself in the correct, polite manner she was taught.
“Ah, Clarissa,” her father greeted as she sat down across from them. “We have some news for you, and I think you're going to really like it. Would you like to tell her, Annabelle, or shall I?”
Her mother smiled warmly as she looked between the two, and Clarissa was baffled. She hadn't seen her mother smile that widely since she was a child. “How about you tell her, I think she'll appreciate it more coming from you, dear.”
Clarissa was growing impatient, and couldn't stop herself from blurting out. “Tell me what?” She then blushed fervently and apologized under her breath, head hung in embarrassment.
Her father chuckled. “It's quite alright, dear. I just received word that our family will be hosting the annual Yuletide ball this year, and as you know we have been praying for this for a very long time. And, since we're hosting, that means we get to pick the theme. Which, I have left to your mother,”
And how is that good news for me? Clarissa thought sarcastically, missing some of what her father had to say and frantically trying to catch herself up as he continued.
“...The best part of all is that I've finally found a man worthy of your hand in marriage, and his family is our honored guests. You two will meet at the ball, where we will announce the engagement and when you'll be wed. Isn't that exciting, dear?” He finished, smiling warmly.
Clarissa felt so many emotions in that moment. She was excited to finally be someone's wife. Eager to see what man her father had deemed worthy. But, the vile, stomach-turning feeling of anxiety was clawing at her insides. She had so many negative questions running through her head it drown out all of her excitement. It forced her to fake a smile, put on a show of the eager, grateful daughter and make it back to her room where she could fall apart for a while.
Chapter Two
Two weeks had passed since Clarissa's parents told her she would be engaged, and she spent most of that time preparing herself for it. She made sure she could respond politely and eagerly to the proposal, the announcement, and the inevitable kiss they would share in front of everyone. For hours, she practiced what she'd say to him and to everyone looking on. Everything would be on her not to make a fool out of herself and her family, who would be hosting this year's Yuletide ball. It had been all her mother could talk about, showing Clarissa her plans as they passed through the house. Personally, Clarissa thought the theme was more than a little bit cliché, but she said nothing to anger her mother's excitement.
Especially because it had been the least tormenting of all the activities she had to do in that time frame. She had to get fitted for an atrocious ballgown that her mother had designed for her, it was puffy, royal blue, and pushed her breasts up; it made her feel very exposed and vulnerable to men's staring gazes. Clarissa prided herself on being modest, pure, and most of all; following her father's orders not to engage with men who wouldn't marry her. But, how would she do that if all eyes were on her and the flattery made her want to rebel?
“Clarissa dear, the guests will be arriving very soon, and I expect you to be ready. You're not even dressed yet,” her mother chided as she came into her room without knocking. “I expect you to be dressed by the time I come back up here, this event is very important for our family, and I will not have you diminishing the family name by being late to a party in your own home.”
“Yes, mother,” Clarissa responded, closing her book and standing to barely meet her mother's shoulder height, the shortest in the family by far. “I will get dressed right now, what should I do with my hair?”
Her mother looked her over, tsked, and pointed to her own head. “Have Gwen help you style it similarly to mine. But, not exactly. I will send her up.” And with that, she was gone.
Nothing is ever good enough for her, Clarissa thought sorrowfully, undressing and redressing in the hideous dress. Will she be proud of me after tonight? After they finally marry their daughter off to some man?
She was struggling with the corset laces when a knock came on her door. “Come in, Gwen, please help me!”
Gwen's laughter filled the room after the heavy wooden door had closed. “Oh, sweetheart. Turn around and let me see what you've done with those laces.” Her chilly fingers turned Clarissa's shoulder so that she faced away, embarrassment burning her face as Gwen chuckled.
“I thought I could do it myself,” she murmured, combing through her golden locks shyly.
“You made quite a mess out of these laces, girl. It's okay to ask for help you know,” Gwen affectionately stated, her fingers brushing Clarissa's back as she untangled the mess and righted the crossing of the laces.
Clarissa sighed softly and winced as the laces tightened around her waist. “I just wanted mother to be proud of me for something. She said some mean things before she left...”
“Like what, child?”
“She said she wouldn't have me diminishing the family name, she always says that... Am I not good enough for her, Gwen?” She asked, desperate for any sort of encouragement that she was good enough; even if it didn't come from her own mother. Gwen was more of a mother than her own, and sometimes, in the dark of night, Clarissa wished she had been.
Gwen had been silent for a few moments, the anxiety clawing at Clarissa, but when she finally spoke, it made her feel ten times better. She spun her around and held her shoulders tightly, looking into her eyes with sincerity and a fierceness Clarissa hadn't ever seen before.
“Clarissa Mae Wakefield, you are a strong, intelligent, beautiful young woman with everything going for her in this cruel, short-lived world. I wholeheartedly believe that you would make any mother proud, but you have to keep in mind that your mother has a lot on her plate. She can't always be the kind, loving mother that you so desperately crave, she has to be diplomatic and sometimes that makes her a bit cold. But, she loves you, dear, you must always remember that.”
Clarissa sighed softly. “I know, sometimes I wish we weren't part of the high-society. It would be so much better if we were farmers, or something less taxing. Wouldn't I be happier living on a ranch, raising cattle and laughing with my parents than I am living in this big house and never seeing my parents' good side?”
Gwen patted her cheek softly. “You can't ask frivolous questions like that, dear. Make the most out of the life you were given, it's the only one you get. Now, let's finish getting you ready, tonight is very important for your family and especially important for you.”
*****
Talking to Gwen had given Clarissa the boost to her mood she needed to get through the evening, and her mother even complimented her appearance. She said that her dress and the style of her hair made her eyes sparkle under the light. It made her feel more beautiful than any man could ever hope of achieving. People started piling into their home, dressed in t
heir best evening wear and their smiles wider than ever. The evening was going well from the get-go, which made Clarissa's mother very happy, and friendly whenever they crossed paths.
Clarissa had really begun getting into the party mood, mingling with people who came up to her, complimented those who complimented her. She started to feel excited about the big announcement coming at dinner and even started trying to spot the man who would marry her in the coming months. Everything felt perfect, too perfect. Surely something would happen to stir the Wakefield's perfect Yuletide ball, and Clarissa knew it would, she was preparing for it.
She couldn't, however, prepare for the shock of seeing the one person she never thought she would see again. At first, she wasn't sure it was him, her only memory of him was child-like, much shorter and not nearly as handsome as the man who stood before her now. He towered her, his broad chest barely at eye-level even in heels. His raven hair was longer, styled to tame the surely wild natural locks. But, the smile hadn't changed a bit, still up-turned and sparkling with that adventurous spirit that lay beneath his handsomeness.
Her heart hammered, threatening to leap out of her chest, and she worried that if she tried to speak the words would break. She pinched herself, wondering if she had fallen asleep and this wasn't real, but a dream of what would come. But, as the sharp, stinging pain radiated across her bicep, she knew that hadn't been the case.
“Hello, Clarissa, it has been a very, very long time,” he greeted, taking her hand and kissing the back of it softly.
“E-Edward?” she asked, eyes wide.
He chuckled, caressing her face softly. “Surprised to see me? I didn't think I would be attending either, but my father insisted that we see this ball with our own eyes, even if it angered your father. How could I refuse the chance to see my beautiful Clarissa?”
Clarissa couldn't contain herself, leaping into his arms and crushing him in a bear hug. Her eyes had betrayed her, tears streaming down her face as she happily wept for him. All those nights wishing they would meet again, all those times she wished she could marry him; even if it meant she lost her family in the process. And here he was, in the flesh and just as happy to see her, their embrace shrouded by the mass of people surrounding them.