by Emily Ward
“E-Edward?” She asked, looking at him in astonishment.
He beamed at her. “The one and only.”
“How'd you get in my bedroom? I'm still asleep, aren't I?” She asked him, touching his strong shoulder to verify that he was real.
He smiled mischievously. “I climbed in through your window. I'm an excellent climber. Aren't you happy to see me?”
“Of course, I am!” She scrambled to reassure him.
He put his finger to his lips. “Shh, don't want us to get caught. I want to take you out tonight, so we can get to know each other again, maybe have another adventure like old times.”
Clarissa's heart squeezed at his offer. Nostalgia and happiness spread through her extremities and she couldn't turn him down, even knowing that it could end very, very badly if anyone caught them together. She wanted to go on an adventure with him so badly that it ached in her muscles, she could feel the grass between her toes, the wind in her hair.
“Let's go,” she agreed, climbing out of her bed and turning to face him with a beaming smile. “Where are we going, anyway?”
Edward's eyes traveled down Clarissa's body, shamelessly and with a lustful narrowing of his eyes, and then returned to her face. He cleared his throat and chuckled softly. “Don't you want to get dressed before we go, my love?”
Confused, Clarissa looked down at her scantily-clad body and squealed in embarrassment as she covered chest; the sheer fabric and cold air had her nipples peeking through the white shirt, areolas visible. She had forgotten she was in her pajamas, clothes she was never ever supposed to let anyone see but herself and her husband. But, in all the excitement for her adventure with Edward, she had left him have a sneak peek at her body and she was mortified.
“I'm so sorry, Edward! I forgot that I wasn't decent,” she whispered, cheeks aflame as she avoided his eyes.
She listened as he crossed the space between them and gasped when he pulled her into his arms tightly. He kissed the top of her unkempt head and chuckled again as she quickly wrapped her arms around him. “You don't have to apologize for being indecent, my love. I could never be offended by your body, and what a body you have.”
Clarissa smacked his chest playfully, eyes narrowed. “Just – close your eyes while I get dressed, please.”
Edward stepped back, smirked at her as she covered herself, and put his hands over his eyes. She quickly bustled around the room, getting dressed in the warmest, most modest outfit she could while leaving some semblance of attractiveness to herself. Only once she was completely dressed from head to toe, and ready to leave the house, did Clarissa tell Edward he could look again.
“You're just as beautiful as ever, my love,” Edward sighed softly, looking at her fondly.
Clarissa smiled at him warmly. “And you're just as charming as you were when we were children, but much more handsome.”
He chuckled. “Let's get going, we have a bit of a journey ahead of us and it's probably best we get back before the sun comes up.”
******
Clarissa and Edward's journey brought them to their infamous meeting spot from childhood. The meadow hadn't changed much, blanketed in a fresh coat of snow, untouched until the pair walked through. Snow and ice clung to their pants and boots as they walked around, hand in hand and spoke of their lives. Edward had gone on to become his father's apprentice, he had picked up archery and hunting and even decided to start writing poetry. Everything Clarissa remembered little Edward wanted to achieve in his life, all except for one thing neither of them could have; a happy marriage between the two.
“I wish we could've stayed in touch all these years,” Clarissa whispered sullenly. “I feel like I missed so much in your life that I would have loved to witness for myself. It just isn't fair that because our fathers don't get along we can't see each other.”
Edward hummed in understanding and sighed. “Clarissa, do you remember what I told you at the Yuletide ball? When I whispered in your ear while our parents were fighting?”
She thought about it for a second and then nodded. “You said you have a backup plan, so we can get married even though nobody wants us to.”
He stopped walking, and in turn so did she, their hands clasped together tightly as he looked up at the sky. “That plan is still in play. I just need you to keep trusting me, if you stop trusting me for even a second the plan will fail. Can you do that for me?”
Edward was looking into her eyes now, full of sincerity and passion. He yearned for her approval, for absolute and complete faith in him to pull of whatever it was he had planned. Nothing could go wrong or it would all fall apart, and that put a lot of pressure on Clarissa's shoulders. Pressure she happily took on as she smiled in determination.
“I trust you with my life and that hasn't ever changed, Edward. There isn't a person in the world who means more to me than you do. If there is a way for us to be together, I'll do anything you want me to so we can have it,” she told him, squeezing his hand tightly.
Edward reached up to caress her cheek fondly. “Good. Do you know where and when you'll be getting 'married' yet? I need to know so that I can keep the plan in motion.”
Clarissa had been eavesdropping on her mother's wedding planning since the Yuletide ball, the parents all too eager to marry their children off and be done with it already, and she had learned the time early that morning before she left for Francesca's. Nothing had been said about the location yet, however, and she worried that telling Edward would disappoint him.
“All I know so far is that I'm supposed to get married around the middle of the day, January sixth. But, I will keep listening in on my mother's wedding plans until I figure out where. Mrs. Gremory is supposed to come over tomorrow to keep planning the wedding. It's only two weeks away now,” she explained, starting to feel anxious and sad again.
Edward brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and gave her an encouraging smile. “Don't worry about a thing, my love. In two week's time, you will be married. To me. I'm not going to let you go this time, Clarissa.”
Before she could speak, Clarissa was surprised to feel the soft, slightly wind-chapped lips against hers. They moved softly at first, testing and exploring as she was slow to respond. But, once she had, Edward's lips moved hungrily against hers. He pulled her close to his chest, one hand behind her head to cradle it as their passion grew.
Clarissa wrapped her arms around his neck, reaching on her toes to meet his height as she let herself dissolve into his kiss. Her heart raced wildly as every muscle in her body screamed her love for him. She never wanted to stop kissing him, for the feeling of his strong arms holding her to leave, for the first time in a lifetime; Clarissa was completely, unshakably happy.
“We have to get you home now, my love. The sun will rise soon and I don't want to get you into any trouble, the last thing I want is more distance between us,” Edward whispered as they parted, foreheads touching tenderly.
She pulled away to look at him and frowned softly. “I don't want to be away from you for a single second. Can't we just run away tonight? Find a farm to live on and forget our old lives?”
He gently brushed his finger over her pout and kissed her forehead. “I know, my love, and if it were that easy, we would. We won't be apart forever, just a little while longer and we'll have every second of the rest of our lives, I promise.”
That night after Clarissa returned to her bed, she promised herself that even if it got harder past this point, she would never let anyone keep her from Edward's side. Even if that meant she had to lose everything she had, the big house, her parents, her friends and Gwen, she would stop at nothing to live her life with Edward. She felt unstoppable as she gingerly touched her lips, Edward's lingering kiss still vibrating through her.
Chapter Four
For the next two weeks, Clarissa spent her time eavesdropping on her mother and Mrs. Gremory when she wasn't sneaking out at night to spend time with Edward. She gave him all the details about her wedding the s
econd she got them, the location, where she would be just before it happened, how many people would be there. And with each detail she gave him, the more confident Edward seemed that his plan would go off without a problem. It left them with more time to get to know each other, both personality-wise and in the biblical sense. Clarissa had only kissed one other person, and she had been a child when it happened. So, she wasn't sure that her kisses were that great, but Edward never complained as they spent hours kissing and cuddling.
Their relationship had been exciting and passionate, with nobody looking on at them in the dead of night. Clarissa wanted to see him more than ever now that she had been, especially when they drifted into new places each night, adventuring around the land in search of privacy. Until the night before her wedding, when Edward took her to their new spot, looking upset and she worried that he had changed his mind about the plan.
“What's wrong, my love?” Clarissa asked him, turning in his arms to look into his eyes.
He caressed her cheek softly. “I'm worried about tomorrow, sometimes wedding schedules can change and if that happens I won't be able to stick to mine. Everything has to be timed perfectly. If even the smallest thing is off, we'll get caught.”
She hadn't thought about that and started to feel panicked, too. How would she tell him if something changed? It wasn't as if she could just sneak out and meet him as she could at night, someone would see her and everything would be ruined.
“Everything will go perfectly, I just know it,” she assured him, laying her head on his shoulder and playing with his fingers.
He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer. “If it isn't, then we'll just have to wing it. One way or another, by tomorrow night we will be wed. Nothing can keep us apart, my love, never again. I promise.”
Clarissa stayed awake in her bed that night, unable to sleep knowing that tomorrow would be either the best day of her life or the worst. Spending the last two weeks with Edward had given her a glimmer of hope for the future, she hadn't thought about Alexander even once since they'd been reunited and that was all the confirmation she needed. She could never love Alexander and if she ended up marrying him the rest of her life would be miserable, trying to pretend that she loved him, having his children, sleeping with him every night.
It was too painful to think about all that. But, she couldn't stop. Everything hangs in the balance as the sun comes up through her window, an ominous and taunting sign for what's to come. She tried to sleep a little longer, to look less tired when Gwen came to wake her for her wedding. Unfortunately, sleep evaded her and before she knew it, Clarissa was on her way to the chapel.
“Aren't you excited, dear?” her father asked her, beaming with pride.
Clarissa faked a smile and nodded mutely. In reality she was full of anxiety and couldn't keep down the vile taste in her mouth, turning her stomach with every passing moment.
“Today is your last day as Clarissa Mae Wakefield, by tonight you'll be Mrs. Clarissa Gremory and your life will finally start,” her mother chimed in, smiling fondly at her father.
“I hope I will be as good of a wife as you are, mother,” she lied, though it was partly true. She wanted to be a great wife, just not Alexander's wife.
Clarissa continued the charade of being excited about her wedding, said all the things her parents wanted to hear from her and kept her head down through the process of making her a 'beautiful, blushing bride'. The only thing that kept her hopes high was knowing Edward had a plan to get her out of this and the inside joke she had with herself. Everyone was preparing her for a wedding, making her the most beautiful, pure woman she could be. What they didn't know was the man they dolled her up for wouldn't be Alexander, but Edward.
“You look so beautiful, Clarissa,” her mother told her, eyes brimming with tears. “You always look beautiful and I'm sorry that I haven't told you more. I feel as if I failed you as a mother, especially in your more crucial years. Every little girl needs her mother and I wasn't there for you, please forgive me before Alexander takes you away from us.”
Clarissa turned to her mother, dumbfounded by her sudden vulnerability. It made her heart ache to see her like this, so fragile and showing her age. She hadn't thought her mother cared that much, always feeling as if she were a burden. But, here she was, apologizing for everything. How was Clarissa supposed to respond to that?
“I-it's okay, mother, I forgive you. Gwen always reminded me that you're a busy woman and you can't always be there to hold my hand. Maybe one day I'll understand when I become a mother myself,” she reassured her, smiling softly.
Her mother sniffled and then smiled. “Okay, I'm going to tell them that you're ready. Just remember to breathe, honey. I know how nervous a bride can be,” she kissed the top of Clarissa's head and left the room with purpose.
There was barely a second between the closing of her changing room door and the sound of someone climbing in the window. Clarissa stifled a scream when a hand covered her mouth and turned around to see Edward smiling at her warmly.
“Shh, we have to go now, follow me,” he instructed, guiding her toward the open window.
She understood the urgency, willing herself not to jump into his arms and stay there and climbed out of the window as quickly as she could. Her wedding dress trailed in the snow outside as she landed, and Clarissa could hear her mother scolding her even though she wasn't there. It was brisk outside, the air nipping at her arms and somewhat exposed breasts as they hurried away from the chapel. Laying low, the couple rushed away and into the wooded thicket.
Quietly, Clarissa let Edward lead her by hand through the woods, trying her best to keep up with him in the heavy dress. The corset constricted her airway and she was panting not long after they entered the woods, but she willed herself to keep going. Nothing would get in the way of Edward's plan if she had anything to do with it.
“Do you need to take a break? We're almost there, but I don't want you to overwork yourself, my love,” Edward asked her, his steps slowing.
Clarissa shook her head. “No, I don't want to stop until we get there. They could already be looking for me, and I don't want to be caught.”
Edward stopped walking, picked Clarissa up bridal style and then continued along the path. He smiled down at her, his eyes warm and cheeks flushed from the cold air. “I'll carry you then. It shouldn't be much longer, anyhow.”
“Where are we going anyway? I don't recognize anything,” Clarissa wondered, gazing at the trees, the area seemed completely deserted except for the two of them and the woodland creatures. She wasn't frightened but rather excited to see where Edward's plan would take them. Maybe there was a beautiful cottage out in the woods, or maybe an old chapel full of vintage décor and stained glass windows.
“It's a secret, my love. In fact, close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you to,” Edward told her and his steps stopped as he smiled down at her.
She waited for a second, unsure about it. “Is it a good secret?”
He chuckled. “Of course it is, don't you trust me?”
Clarissa smiled. “With all my heart, just tell me when I can open my eyes again.”
After she had closed her eyes, Edward continued walking. It gave Clarissa time to daydream about their lives together, one of her favorite past times. Today would be the day her dreams finally came true. First, with their marriage, something they have both wanted since childhood. But, there had always been that one thing that terrified Clarissa about getting married; losing her virginity.
Clarissa's friends had spoken of how it hurts the first few times, the pressure and probing felt weird. It led her to obsess about it for a few months, she read everything she could about how children were conceived and the act of sex itself. Everything she found taught her that sex was complicated, especially in the beginning. She wanted to speak about it with her mother, but when she brought up the topic her mother only told her one thing; sex is between two people who are married and trying to have a
baby, it doesn't matter if you don't enjoy it.
“What are you thinking about so hard, my love?” she heard Edward ask, his arms tightening around her.
Her cheeks reddened and she scrambled to come up with something other than the truth. “I-I was just thinking about what life will be like after tonight. Where will we live? And how will we tell our parents that we got married anyway?”
He didn't answer her for a long moment and Clarissa was tempted to peek up at his face, but before she could Edward stopped walking and started climbing what felt like stairs. The sound of his footsteps changed from the soft crunch of snow to the hard sound of boots on cement. She was getting impatient and wanted to ask if she could open her eyes. It seemed like they had arrived at their destination, but Clarissa didn't want to ruin his surprise by assuming.
A few painfully long moments later and Edward was setting her on her feet. She heard him open a door, the heavy groan echoing for a minute before it stopped and he guided her inside by her shoulders.
“Keep your eyes closed just a little longer, my love,” he encouraged as the door shut behind them. “We're nearly there, and all your questions will be answered, I promise.”
Clarissa busied herself by counting the steps they took and by the time Edward stopped, they had taken thirty-seven steps into the location. It was warm and smelled like cedar, both burning and surrounding them. She kept wondering if they were in a cottage or a barn, it felt too small around her to be an old chapel.
“Okay, open your eyes,” Edward breathed in relief.
Clarissa squeezed his hand and opened her eyes. She gasped in awe at the little cottage, and then gasped again when she saw three other people standing near the make-shift alter. Mostly because one of them was the priest she met today, the one who was supposed to marry her and Alexander. Fear set in and she couldn't help but hide behind Edward.
“E-Edward, that man, he's the priest from the chapel,” she whispered to him, not moving her gaze from the man, suspicious that he was sent by her father.