I was not the master mind but I became one that could easily magnetize other’s awareness and bring people to their comfort zone. I knew how to make anyone feel special. I wanted to know more about people and their psychology, but my heart was shielded for any emotional attachment.
Apurva’s love had ended form my heart and all there was left, was the portion of memory. My heart was not vulnerable anymore because from that moment, I made myself heartless as I started taking my heart just as an organ to pump blood and my mind to take control over all emotional feelings and temptations.
I wanted to be bad because when evil consumes you others might feel awful for you but you will be happy. I was half a devil one that was ruthless and heartless but the other half of me was still on way of humanity, because for me, I made humanity as my god.
Time was in its play, playing in many unforeseen runways. I was healing, I was happy again –unknowingly. Helping people, counseling them was also helping me to handle all there was. In many ways, I found myself being whole again, and even wiser and stronger than before.
But the sorrowful time just didn’t stop there. There was many more to come in my life, many more than I accepted– as usual. Every time when I recovered from something that was rupturing me, I got caught by the new one which lead to even worse situation than previous. And the life was saving the worst of all for the time to come and I was not ready for that.
………………………………………..
"What was it? What does the life bring next, friend?" I wanted to ask him, continuing his tale. But all got cloudy and heavy. Instead of words “whaaaa…” was what I was able to say before my lips were shut; with my eyes getting slowly blindfolded. Right before they were completely shut down everything went fogy and dizzy. I was able to see his shadow making different waves and pattern through the smoke, but everything was unclear.
I tried to catch his shadow with fogy vision while he simply vanished along with the Smokey air!!!Puff!!! –just like that and complete blankness occupied me. I passed out…
To be Continued...
Alive In Shadow: Living with dyslexia; an inspirational story Page 8