Stronger Than This

by Abby Mccarthy

  “Talon's with me. Make no mistake. The order from the judge is ironclad. You shouldn't have taken my daughter across state lines. I told you, Marie. I FUCKING told you! How the fuck do you think I felt when I woke up and you were gone? Did you think I’d let it slide and that I’d forget about it? You knew I’d find you. Is that what this was; a fucking cat and mouse game? Because if it was, consider yourself fucking caught.”

  The cruel way he spoke to me brought on flashbacks of abuse and fear. Panic started to grip me. I was stronger than I used to be. I couldn't let him walk all over me. I had to fight past my fear. “You can’t have her. I won’t let you.”

  “Do you think you hold the cards here? Here is what’s going to happen. I’ll get the charges dropped. You’ll come home with our daughter and me. You will be the best fucking wife, after you’ve paid for your crimes, and you’ll do it gladly.”

  “No!” I yelled, my voice trembling.

  “Beat and Range already have Talon en route to Florida. They got her in a cage, but you make this a thing and don’t come willingly, that cage won’t make it back home. Those boys are already on my shit list, and I don’t really give a fuck if they go boom! I got Pinky on their ass, and all I need to do is send word. Do you hear me now, Marie?”

  “She’s your daughter. You wouldn’t.”

  “She betrayed me, when she left with you and didn't fucking contact me. The way I see it, you're both fucking traitors. It’s up to you, Marie. Your move. Your daughter's life, or your freedom. What’s it going to be?”

  I lowered my head in defeat, because really what other option did I have. He reached into the cell and grabbed me by my chin, scaring the shit out of me even more.

  “You been fucking someone else?”

  I wish I could have hidden the fear in my face from him and not let him see the utter panic that was wracking through me..

  “I find out who he is, he’s a dead man. I promise you this Marie, you’re going to live the rest of your life regretting the day you whored yourself out and left me.”

  Drake left me in a pool of tears on the dirty jail floor. Daws came, but I wouldn't speak to him. The attorney came, but there was no point. I watched as the sky grew darker and I prayed that the charges would get dropped before Mickey got here. I couldn't stand it if Drake did something to him because of me.

  An officer came in and released me from my cell. Apparently, they had spoken with the Florida courts and were told that there was an error, and I wasn’t to be held on kidnapping charges. Figures – Drake had to have had them in his pockets.

  I was released, and Drake was there waiting for me. He grabbed my arm, and began walking me outside. Mickey was walking up with Daws to his left.

  “Marie?” The color left his face as he took in the man beside me. I pleaded with my eyes for them to walk away, ignore me, to let us keep going. I mouthed Talon’s name, hoping they would see it.

  “You,” Mickey said to Drake with an evil sneer.

  “No!” I screamed.

  It must’ve been tell enough for Drake to figure out it was Mickey that I’d been with, because he didn't hesitate to use it against me, twisting what I had with Mickey to make it seem like something vile and ugly.

  “You think my wife actually fell for you, you dirty Mick. How do you think I’ve been able to get the drop on you?”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Mickey

  Hours Earlier

  Everything set?” Jules asked.

  “Yeah, truck's riding out. Carlo has things set on his side?”

  “Sure does.”

  “Let’s do this, then.”

  We rode. The plan was to meet up with a truck that was delivering something for Carlo, Jenny’s brother, but the catch was he wasn't moving anything at all.

  We had some guys with guns who would be in the truck, and I’d be riding behind it with Jules and a few other guys not far behind us to make it look like we were doing an assist.

  It was a long stretch of road. We’d also gotten word that The Raiders were coming through, so it was now or never if we were going to take them out. I was following the truck and had been for about forty miles, when all hell broke loose.

  We'd come to a bend in the road, and were ambushed. A truck blocked the way and Raiders came out from every direction. They’d been waiting for us. A bullet whizzed past me. I pulled out my gun and we shot at each other from every direction.

  My bike hit the pavement, and I took cover behind a tree that sheltered me from the spray of bullets. Our guys in the truck somehow managed to get free, but I saw one take a shot in the leg. and a quick assessment told me that Carlo’s guy driving was hit.

  We were outnumbered.

  It felt like the constant firing went on for ages. I only hoped that our backup would get here soon. The air shifted, and I knew something big was going to happen. Jules, Blaze, and Austin flanked The Raiders. It caused enough of a distraction that I was able to get out from behind the tree and get off some better shots, hitting one of The Raiders in his back.

  They began retreating as more gunfire went off. Two of the Raiders, who were blocking the road, hopped in their truck and started to pull away. Other Raiders were hopping on their bikes and hightailing it. “After them!” Jules shouted.

  I moved to my bike. The gas tank was damaged along with everything in one of my side bags, including my fucking phone. I was fucked. Jules and a few guys went after him, while I found one of our guys’ phones and went about cleaning up this mess. Fifteen minutes later, Jules returned. “I lost ‘em. I don’t fucking know how, but it was like they fucking vanished. They had to have had help.”

  “Hate to say it Jules, but they were waiting for us. No way they could’ve known what was happening unless someone...”

  “We got a fucking mole,” Jules finished my thought.

  “Afraid so. We need to keep shit tight with just a trusted few until we figure this out.”

  Hours later after everything was sorted, we pulled up to the clubhouse. My bike was on a trailer, one of our guys was being treated for a gunshot wound, and I was beyond livid.

  As soon as we pulled into the lot, Aubrey ran out to greet us. Something felt incredibly off to me. “Mickey! We’ve been trying to reach you.” She was frantic, and my blood went cold. “It’s Marie. She was arrested. Daws is at the police station. It’s not good.

  “Where’s Talon?”

  “I don't know. Daws left right away. He called Janis, and then took off. He told me to wait for you, and as soon as you got here, to send you to the station.”

  I ran to the garage bay and grabbed one of my bikes that I had been working on and raced to the station. Daws met me outside the police station and nodded to a few Raiders who were parked watching us.

  “She’s refusing to see us. She called me for help and said her ex was here. They arrested her on some bogus kidnapping charges. I feel like he got to her. She won’t see Janis, either.”

  “Anyone know anything about Talon?”

  “Yeah. Drazen had no clue Marie was yours. He said they had a court order and picked up Talon from school. Said all the paperwork was ironclad, and she went with her dad.”

  “Shite,” I mumbled and hurried into the station. As we were walking in, I stopped frozen in my tracks, because Marie was there walking with a man whose hand was curled around her bicep.

  It wasn't just any man.

  It was fucking Drake, the president of The Raiders, the man who shot Maura’s mom up with bad dope.

  “Marie?” I questioned. I wanted her to get away from him, but was completely confused as to why she was with him.

  “No!” she yelled, and I saw panic flash across her face. She mouthed something, but I was beyond lost in my rage. I had sworn if I ever saw him again, I would kill him; and here he was, the piece of shit who was married to Marie.

  My Marie.

  Drake looked to Marie, and I swore he almost smiled. Then he said words that would rock me.
r />   “You think my wife actually fell for you, you dirty Mick? How do you think I’ve been able to get the drop on you?”

  I was setup by the one woman that could truly break me if she betrayed me. My heart went cold as he led her away from me. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t stop her. I just let her leave, and it fucking destroyed me. I couldn't understand how Marie could've done this, but we had a mole, and Drake just declared it was her. I was helplessly lost in betrayal and hurt.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Marie

  We road for five hours, stopping only for gas. I was numb. I knew Drake’s lies had gotten to Mickey, and what was worse was that I had the feeling that they knew each other. Somehow, Drake made it seem like I was the enemy. It was so like him to see a way to twist something beautiful, and turn it into something ugly to suit his needs.

  My feelings for Mickey were confusing. I was glad he didn't attack Drake, because I needed to take care of Talon. I needed to make sure she would get through this. I was also somewhat disappointed. There were parts of me that felt like he knew me. He knew, even though I never told him exactly who Drake was, that Drake was a monster. He should’ve known I’d never betray him. I was hurt.

  I also felt like if there was something between the two of them, which I suspected, based on the way they reacted to each other that maybe it wasn't a stretch for him to think that. I wondered what it could’ve been? Knowing Drake; it could’ve been bad.

  Either way, Drake took Mickey from me, and it cut. It cut deep. I needed to be stronger than my hurt. I needed to be stronger for Talon, but also for myself. I wasn’t the same woman that left Drake, and I had to hold on to that.

  I got off the bike and moved to go into the gas station. “Where do you think you're going?”

  “Been on the bike for a long time Drake. I have to pee.” Drake stared hard at me for a minute, then he gave me the smallest head nod and began to pump gas. It wasn't like I was going to run. I needed to stay with Drake, in order to get to Talon.

  Talon.

  I prayed that she was okay. The guys Drake left her with to get her back to Florida were not good guys. Not good at all.

  The bathroom was on the side of the gas station, and I had to grab a key from the attendant. We were in the middle of nowhere.

  Once in the bathroom, I dug out my cell. How Drake had forgotten that it was returned to me at the police station, I didn't know. I called Mickey, and cringed when it went straight to voicemail. Whispering, afraid Drake would hear me through the bathroom door, I said, “Mickey, it’s me. I know that seemed like I was in on something with Drake. He made it seem that way. He has Talon. I had to go with him. I have to keep her safe. Don’t come after me. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you, too. I love you. Thank...”

  I apparently wasn't discreet enough. The bathroom door was thrown open, and Drake was there.

  “You love him? You fucking bitch.”

  He snatched the phone from my hands, threw it to the ground and stomped on it with his big black boot. He grabbed both of my arms twisting me around so I faced the mirror. He smashed my face against it, creating a tiny crack in the glass that cut my cheek. A small trickle of blood ran down my face. I stared at his reflection, and I didn't back down. I knew it wasn't smart, but for some stupid reason, I felt compelled to stand up for myself.

  “Yes, I love him. He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be.”

  “That so, Marie? I’ll wipe any memory of him from your mind. I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll wish to God you never met that fucking Mick.”

  “Fuck you, Drake!” I said through gritted teeth. His grip on my arms tightened, and I was afraid that it would tear from the socket. He tore my pants down past my ass. My hip dug into the dirty porcelain sink. I heard the clink of his belt, and then he was pushing inside of me; raping me. I stared at him in the mirror, silently crying not only because it hurt, even though it did, but because I fooled myself into believing that I was through with his torture.

  I cried for everything he was taking from me. I cried for everything I was losing.

  My voice broke, “I hate you.”

  Drake was grunting behind me and stopped to stare at me. “I own you. You're not allowed to hate me.”

  “I’ll hate you, until the day I die.”

  He pushed hard into me, grunting again as he came. “Keep it up, that’ll be sooner than later.”

  IT TOOK TWO DAYS FOR us to make it back to our home in Florida. I was sore and more than a little bruised. I’d like to say that him raping me in the bathroom was the only time on our journey, but it wasn't. We stayed in cheap motels along the highway. He was heavy with his hand, and then took from me whenever he wanted to.

  I didn't fight him, even though I wanted to.

  I had Talon to consider.

  I found myself going back to those places in my mind that I'd created so long ago. I checked out, and in those moments when I did, I held on to the goodness that was Mickey and Marie.

  I often didn't even feel like that Marie. I was in an in-between state; one where I held onto the sweet that I’d had for a brief time, and one where I lived in a nightmare.

  Our home was trashed. When Drake discovered we were gone, he must’ve taken his anger out on the house. Dishes had been thrown from the kitchen cabinets. There were pieces of broken plates all over the floor. The TV was on its side in the living room. Takeout containers were stacked on the coffee table.

  “I’ll just start cleaning,” I told Drake, when I spotted everything he'd done.

  He grabbed a beer from the fridge and cracked it open. “Strip. You’re in my presence in our house, I want you naked. You deprived me of your body for far too long.”

  I looked at the broken dishes all over the floor. “Drake, please,” I pleaded, but one look at him made me realize how futile that was.

  I took my clothes off, but stood up straight as I cleaned. It was my defiance. I was careful around the broken shards, but just like my life, no matter how careful I thought I was, I was sure to get cut.

  The first slice was tiny and near my pinky toe. The second was a clear piece of thin glass that I missed after sweeping up the larger pieces. I pulled it out and winced as blood gushed. I grabbed a paper towel and wrapped it around my foot. Drake moved past me in the kitchen, threw his beer can on the floor in front of me, squashed it with his boot, and then grabbed a new beer.

  He was trying to intimidate me, and it was working. I should have known that him humiliating me by making me clean in the nude wasn’t going to be his entire game. No, instead he stood close by while I cleaned. Suddenly, as if the sight of me finally undid him, he ordered, “Stop.”

  I did, because what choice did I have. “Hands on the counter.” I closed my eyes and braced. I heard Drake's belt buckle from behind me, and waited for him to push inside.

  I tried to think of Mickey, I really did. I tried to hold on to the good, but it was so hard to do.

  Instead of feeling his dick press inside of me, I felt the sharp sting of leather, as it connected with my backside. His forearm pressed into my back making me bend over more, and then he used his feet to kick my legs apart. “You’re mine. Nobody gets to touch you.” He hit me on my butt and the backs of my thighs. He struck me on my back.

  The hits came heavy and fast, and I lost track of how long he beat me. I was laying on the kitchen floor, after being violated again, when our house phone rang.

  Drake didn't answer. He sat not far from me lounging on the couch like nothing had just happened. Our answering machine picked up. “Boss, it’s Range. I’ve been calling your cell for hours. It’s going straight to voicemail. It’s Talon.”

  My heart thundered in my chest. I heard Drake curse from the couch as he moved to answer. “Fuck,” he swore, as he pushed past me.

  “She got the slip,” Range continued and was cut off as Drake picked up the phone. That's what I had been praying to hear. Talon got away. She got away from
his men. I‘d been enduring this hell to make sure she was safe. Knowing he didn't have a handle on where she was, made me pray that she stayed hidden. Even though I was beaten down and bloody, I was no longer going to let this happen without a fight.

  There was a chance she was free of him. Drake beating me and raping me made me sure of one thing; I was not broken.

  I was stronger than him.

  I was stronger than this.

  I was going to fight back. I might not have a chance in hell of surviving, but would the end really be so horrible? Even if I died, I’d have proven to myself that he could beat me, but he couldn’t break me.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Mickey

  “It doesn’t add up.” I was sitting at the clubhouse bar, drinking whiskey from the bottle.

  “No, it doesn't. I know we have a mole, I just never suspected it was her.” Jules took the bottle from me and took a swig.

  We were both well on our way to getting shitfaced. Jenny walked through the kitchen doors and set two plates in front of us.

  “Sorry, guys. I don't buy it. I think there is more here than what that piece of shit said. Oh, Mickey I almost forgot. Your new phone came in FedEx this morning, and I’ve been charging it. I’ll grab it.”

  I hadn’t even thought about my phone. I’d been a broken mess. I never expected to fall for any woman, let alone one that would betray me.

  “Thanks, Jenny,” I looked at the sandwich she set down. I didn't have an appetite. I didn't want to eat, but Jules and I needed to stop drinking and figure out a plan to go after Drake.