by Garza, Amber
“We already ordered sodas,” Brandon announces, pointing at the filled cups on the table.
“Thanks.” Billie nudges him in the shoulder, and then snatches up her glass.
“So, you work at the restaurant with Brandon, huh?” Tyler asks above the loud chattering, and clanging of dishes that swirl around us.
“Yeah.” I nod. “What about you? Do you work?”
“No, I’m just a student right now.”
I feel a twinge of jealousy at this. “Really? Where do you go?”
“Sac State.”
Billie giggles at something Brandon says across from us.
“What are you studying?” I ask, ignoring them.
“I’m majoring in business. I’m not really sure what I want to do, so I figure I can do a lot with that degree.” Tyler reaches for his soda and takes a sip. I notice his mannerisms are more methodical than Asher’s, who always seems to move impulsively, and then I chastise myself for even thinking about Asher right now.
A waitress approaches our table, her pen poised over a tiny pad of paper. We order a pepperoni pizza, and then the waitress scurries off. The raucous table next to us hoots in laughter and talks loudly. Billie leans forward and smiles at Tyler. Uh oh. I recognize that look. What’s she up to? My stomach tightens.
“Tyler, did Ivy tell you that she’s a writer?” Billie says, and I pin her with a glare.
“You are? That’s awesome,” Tyler says.
Sighing, I look at him. “No, I’m not really.” I think about how my journalistic endeavors are hidden under my pillow, and it causes shame to fill me. “I mean, I like to write. I hope to be a journalist one day.”
“Is that what you’re studying in school?”
I bite my lip, glancing down at my hands. “I’m taking a break from school right now.” I could kill Billie for bringing this up.
“Oh.” Tyler looks around as if he has no idea what to say. If Asher were here, he’d make this whole moment less awkward by making a joke or something. Tyler doesn’t really seem like the teasing kind, and smooth segues are clearly not his gift.
“Excuse me a minute, I have to use the restroom.” I look at Billie as I swing my legs out of the booth. “Wanna come with?”
“Okay.” She nods, picking up on my underlying meaning.
“Girls.” Brandon shakes his head as Billie slides out. “Always have to go to the restroom together. What’s that about?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Billie winks, before taking my arm. As we walk forward, she whispers, “So, what do you think of Tyler? He’s nice, huh?”
“Yeah, a little too nice,” I mutter under my breath.
“What do you mean?” Billie’s eyes widen as we weave through tables filled with patrons. We pass a waiter carrying drinks, and two girls stumbling through the restaurant in stiletto heels. Their strong perfume chokes me, and I gag. “Oh no, you’re comparing him to Asher, aren’t you?”
“No,” I protest, tugging on Billie’s arm to steer her toward the restroom.
“You totally are.”
We enter the bathroom and thankfully are the only people in here. “I’m not. I just think he seems a little boring.”
“You would’ve liked him a month ago. He’s totally your type. Smart, cute, and reserved.” She smiles wickedly. “I’ve got to say that ever since Asher came back I’ve seen a different side of you.”
I roll my eyes. “This has nothing to do with him.”
“Oh, I think it has everything to do with him.”
“Whatever.” I move toward one of the stalls. “Can you please just not tell people I’m a writer anymore? It’s embarrassing.” Stepping into the stall, I close the metal door behind me and turn the lock.
“Why? I think it makes you seem interesting. Besides, I knew Tyler would totally eat it up. Brandon told me he’s the intellectual type.”
“But, Billie, it’s not true. I’m not a writer.” I crouch over the toilet and see Billie’s feet from under my stall as she stand in front of the mirror.
“Okay, okay, I won’t mention it again.”
The door swings open, and heels click on the linoleum floors. The scent of hairspray wafts into my stall. I flush the toilet, pull up my jeans and walk out to the sink. Two girls with eighties hairdos stand at the mirror, primping. I pull up beside them and wash my hands, while Billie glides a tube of red lipstick over her lips.
“So, you really like Brandon, don’t you?” I ask, reaching for the paper towels.
She gives me the shrug I know too well. “He’s fine. I like going out with him, and he always pays.”
“That’s it, huh?” After wiping my hands dry, I pitch the paper towel into the trash can, and we head back out into the noisy restaurant. “No passionate love affair then?”
“Not with this one, I’m afraid.” She winks and we make our way back to the table. The pizza arrived while we were gone, and the boys have already dug in. I can’t help but think how Asher would’ve waited for me before he started eating. Once again I scold myself for all the Asher thoughts. Why can’t I get him out of my head?
14
Asher
Sydney hangs on my arm as we exit the restaurant, her fingers tickling my bicep. She’s cute in a little denim skirt, white top and silver sandals. Her blond hair lifts in the slight breeze and brushes against my shoulder. I feel the feathery strands through my shirt. Her cheek slightly presses against my arm as she leans into me while we walk down the street.
Mercedes giggles lightly from over my shoulder and Cole’s gruff laugh mingles with it, sounding like an off-beat harmony.
“I’m having fun tonight,” Sydney says breathily, her hand closing tighter around my arm. I want to feel turned on. Hell, I want to feel anything toward her. Instead, the only thing I feel is disappointment that she isn’t Ivy. It’s like that girl has put a curse on me or something. I just can’t get her out of my head. Every time Sydney touches me I imagine that it’s Ivy, and for one moment I’m euphoric. Then I take in Sydney’s innocent eyes and my heart plummets. I shouldn’t be leading this girl on. She’s clearly not the one who’s going to help me get over Ivy. She’s not strong enough.
“Yeah, me too,” I force myself to respond in the correct manner. It’s not Sydney’s fault my heart belongs to someone else.
“So, where are we off to next?” Cole sidles up next to me, his fingers threaded through Mercedes’.”
“Wanna go hang out at the lake? We can stop at my place and pick up some drinks?” Mercedes winks at Cole.
When I glance over at Sydney’s excited face, my stomach turns. I knew exactly what will be happening at the lake. Cole and Mercedes will be all over each other, and Sydney will expect the same from me. Not that kissing her would be bad, exactly, and it might take my mind off of Ivy for a little while. Only, I can tell by the way the girl is looking at me that she’s hoping this turns into something more, and I know that it won’t. I can’t just use her for the evening, can I?
We walk further up the street toward the place we parked. The sky around us is just starting to dim, and there is a slight breeze in the air. Sure, it’s a warm breeze, but I’ll take it. When we reach the light, Mercedes presses it and Sydney snuggles in closer. If only Ivy was this way with me. This girl acts like she never wants to let go of my arm. When the light signals that we can walk, Sydney and I step onto the pavement. She swirls her fingers over my flesh as we hurry across the street. Her sandals click on the ground with each step, reminding me of the heels Ivy wore the night of the party. I will not allow my thoughts to drift to Ivy.
After crossing the street, we turn the corner, Cole and Mercedes still behind us. The door to Chicago Fire opens just a few feet in front of us and out walks a couple. The guy opens the door for the girl, his hand on the small of her back. When her head bobs up, recognition slams me in the chest so hard I find it difficult to breath. I stop walking as if I’ve run into an invisible wall. Sydney peers up at me confused.
> Ivy halts as well, the boy with her seemingly confused. Then before any of us can react, she turns her head away from me and quickly walks past. I glance behind me and see that the guy still has his hand on her back, and jealousy twists around my heart.
“Wow, can you say stalker?” A voice cuts into my thoughts.
I look up. “Hi, Billie.”
“Oh, I know you.” Sydney snaps her fingers. “You’re the girl from the party.”
“Yep, that’s me.” Billie gives Sydney a bored look, and then yanks on the guy standing at her side. That’s when I realize that he was the same dude she was with at the party. They push past us, but not before Billie gives me an annoyed look. As if I knew they’d be here tonight. Believe me, if I had I never would’ve come here. Ivy with some other guy isn’t something I ever want to witness.
“What’s going on?” Cole asks.
“Nothing.” I give Sydney a reassuring nod. “Let’s get to the lake.” As we continue on I try to get the image of that guy with his hand on Ivy’s back out of my mind. She looked so hot in those tight jeans and top, her hair slightly curled. Who was that guy, and why was she with him? Even though I fully intend to try to forget about Ivy tonight, I know now that it will be a losing battle. The way she looked is tattooed in my brain, and nothing short of a lobotomy will get rid of the mental picture.
I stretch out my legs, and the rock beneath me scratches my skin. Sydney rests her head on my chest, her hair splaying across my arm. Mercedes and Cole walked off into the bushes somewhere a long time ago. Every once in awhile I can hear a giggle or rustle. It’s enough to give me an idea of what’s going on, and it makes it painfully obvious of what’s not going on out here. It’s dark now, and I stare up at the inky black sky with the smattering of white stars. My beer sweats on the boulder beside me.
“So, what’s the deal? I can tell you’re not a fighter,” Sydney says, staring at my face.
Her words confuse me. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s just that I can see the faint bruises on your face, and I can tell you’ve been in a fight recently. But I used to date a guy who was an MMA fighter, and you don’t look at all like him. You don’t have the cauliflower ears, and it’s clear that you haven’t had your nose broken. So, were you attacked or something?”
My face heats up. “Nah, it wasn’t a big deal. Just a former friend settling an old score.”
Sydney lifts her head, peering into my eyes with concern. I bend my face to hers and kiss her softly on the lips. She responds to me, her hands groping the side of my face. A pleased sigh escapes from the back of her throat, and it’s just too much. I pull away and rest my head back on the rock. Sydney’s eyes search mine.
“What’s wrong?” The hurt in her voice cuts to my heart, and I feel like a world class jerk.
I prop myself up on my elbows and face her. “I’m sorry. It’s not you.”
“Seriously?” She sits up, pushing her hair back from her face and letting out a bitter laugh. “You’re giving me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me speech?’ We’re not in high school anymore. That’s totally lame. If you don’t like me, just say so.”
I sit up, placing a hand over hers. “I do like you, Sydney. Who wouldn’t?”
“Then what is it?” Her face softens a little.
I blow out a breath, unable to believe that I’m actually saying this. Never in my life has a girl got in my head this way. “There’s someone else.”
Sydney nods, picking at a thread on her denim shorts. “It’s the girl from the party, right? The one you saved from that pervy guy?”
I nod.
“That was her coming out of the restaurant, wasn’t it? I mean, I thought she looked familiar, but it didn’t register until I saw her friend.” She purses her lips. “But I thought you said she was just your friend? If you like her, why are you here with me?”
“It’s complicated.”
“What’s complicated about it?” Sydney swirls a strand of hair around one of her fingers.
I laugh lightly. “What are you, my shrink now?”
“Well, it doesn’t look like Mercedes is coming back any time soon. We might as well make the best of it, right?” She grins and sits back, resting her palms on the rock. “Does she have anything to do with the score your former friend was trying to settle?”
“You’re very perceptive, aren’t you?” I tease her, even though she’s making me uncomfortable.
“I am a girl, so spill. Tell me the story and I’ll help you figure out how to get her to like you.”
I lean forward, thinking about how unfortunate it is that my mind is so wrapped up in Ivy. Sydney really is a sweet girl, and she’s interested in me. Besides, it would be a lot easier just to go out with Sydney instead of continuing to pull my hair out in attempt to reach Ivy. However, Ivy’s gotten under my skin, and no amount of effort is going to extract her. She’s in there for good. “As tempting as that sounds, I just don’t want to talk about it. Besides, I don’t think there’s anything you can say that will help me get Ivy. We have a long history together, and there are just a lot of things we have to work out.”
The morning after our double date Cole shows up at my house wearing his work clothes and a scowl on his face. “What is wrong with you, man?” He shoves past me, making his way inside.
I follow him with a shrug. “You’ll have to be more specific.”
“This isn’t a joke.” His face is stern. “I just got off the phone with Mercedes. Sydney told her that at the lake all you talked about was Ivy.”
“No way, dude,” Reece’s voice comes from the doorway to the kitchen.
My head jerks in his direction. “Get outta here, Reece. Don’t you ever go anywhere?”
He throws up his arms in surrender. “It’s my house, dude. I’m just getting some food.”
“Fine.” I motion for Cole to follow me into the living room. Once inside, I turn to him. “I don’t know what to say, man.”
Cole gives me an incredulous look. “What kind of hold does this chick have on you?”
I lean against the wall, my arms over my chest. “I don’t know. It’s just that ever since I got back I can’t get her outta my head.”
“It’s not just been this summer.” Cole perches on the edge of the couch, a serious expression darkening his face. “You’ve always been like this about her. Everyone’s noticed it. At first we thought it was just because she was the new girl and she was hot. I mean, every guy wanted her when she first got here.”
I nod, remembering.
“But then you changed, man.”
“What do you mean?” I push off the wall. This is the first time someone has said this to me. Sure, after the incident with Cam everyone was telling me to stay away from Ivy, but before that she seemed to fit into our group seamlessly.
“You just became all about her. Before she came along you were always hanging with the guys, but after she came around you were constantly blowing us off to be with her. And it was weird too, because she was never even your girlfriend.” He looks up at me. “But it’s not like we didn’t all know you had feelings for her. That’s why I wasn’t surprised at first when you went after Cam.”
I scratch the back of my neck. “I didn’t do that because I wanted to be with Ivy.”
“I know that now.” He shakes his head. “But it is sort of the reason, right? I mean, you chose her over us in a big way that night.”
“It’s not that simple, and you know it,” I answer through gritted teeth, hating what he’s insinuating.
“I’m just worried about you. I’ve never seen you like this about anyone.”
I nod, swallowing hard, knowing he’s right.
15
Ivy
Billie comes up beside me as I stand at the bar at work arranging glasses of water on my tray. “Hey, roomie.” She smiles.
“Hey.” I grin, as I pull the tray off the counter and hold it in my splayed hand. “Gotta get these drinks out. You’re
off soon, right?”
Billie glances at the clock on the wall. “In an hour.”
I scrunch my nose. “I still have three more hours.”
“Ugh. Well, I’ll pick up something for dinner, so don’t worry about that.”
“Thanks,” I say, before carefully making my way out to the dining room. When I first got this job I used to have nightmares of dropping trays of drinks on a nightly basis. Therefore, I’m always ultra careful when I carry drinks to the tables, and it’s worked for me. I’ve only had a couple of accidents. For the most part, I’m pretty good at waitressing, surprisingly. After depositing the waters at the table, I pull the tablet out of my apron and make my way over to the new couple that was just seated in my area.
“Good evening,” I say with a grin on my face as I approach. When my gaze takes in the couple, my smile falters. However, I recover quickly not wishing to cause a scene and get in trouble at work.
“Hey, Ivy,” Cole says. The dark haired girl across from him gives me a funny look. I can tell she’s heard of me, and it makes me uneasy.
“Hi, Cole. What can I get you?”
He sets down his menu and speaks in a low growl, “You can stay away from Asher.”
I freeze, my pen suspended over the paper in my hand. “Excuse me?”
“You’re messing with his mind, Ivy. He can’t move on.”
I cock my head to the side. “I haven’t been bothering Asher at all. I’ve only seen him a few times since he’s been back, not that it’s any of your business.”
“Don’t you think you’ve caused him enough problems?” He lifts his eyes to mine.
I glance around the room, my face heating up. A busboy passes me, a bread basket in his hand. The couple at the table nearest us are, thankfully, engrossed in an intense conversation. “This is not the time or the place for this, Cole.”
“Don’t you care about him at all?”