Surrender Your Heart

by Raven J. Spencer

  Everything. I sit in one of the leather chairs, once more overwhelmed by my situation, all the aspects of it. It looks like my work situation and studies are taken care of—I use those terms loosely—but what about my family, my friends? Does she really think no one will ask questions?

  All of a sudden, I’m not so impressed by this gorgeous space anymore. I realize that whenever she’s with me, my doubts start to dissolve. It seems ridiculous to think this stunning confident woman could somehow become the person to realize my worst nightmare. She took me from my home without my consent. I want answers. I want them now. If I give in to whatever draws me to her, which I can’t seem to deny, I’ll lose myself. I need a little more reassurance.

  I turn around, then into every direction, trying to find what could be the most likely place to hide a camera. Oh well. It doesn’t matter.

  “I’m sure you can hear me,” I say out loud, instantly feeling silly, but I carry on. “If not you, you have someone watching me. I admit I’ve been a little slow on the uptake, forgive me, nothing like this has ever happened to me. We need to talk. Now.”

  Actually, I’m feeling worse by the minute. There I let her wine and dine me, touch me, the next moment wondering whether she could be working with sex traffickers, or what’s going to happen to my job. There are real people who are probably already worried for me. I don’t talk to my parents on the phone every week, but if they tried to reach me…I don’t know. All of a sudden, my mind is filled with worse case scenarios.

  It hasn’t been that long. It feels like I’ve already spent an eternity here, with dubious prospects. Going to the pool. Studying on my own. Pleasure like I’ve never known it before. To give up resistance, and so soon, is it selfish—wrong?

  It takes only a couple of minutes until Carter joins me. “I know you have many questions. It’s a lot to take in, I’m aware of that.” Her voice is calm, neutral, without a hint of apology.

  “See, there are people who’d like to hear from me every once in a while. I’m not sure if the same is true for you, but that’s the way it is.”

  She gets the jibe, her face falling, but it’s a moment so brief I might have imagined it.

  “You know that your job and studies are taken care of—that covers most of your friends. I want you to have time to settle in, to become aware of everything this offer includes. You may call your parents. I will provide you with a cell phone that cannot be traced, though you might want to wait for a few hours, because it’s in the middle of the night there. I can tell you that the only calls you’ve gotten since your absence is from your internet provider, a couple of telemarketers and one wrong number.”

  I pick my jaw up from the floor, thinking that it’s probably not looking very attractive, and this entire game kind of hinges on her finding me attractive, doesn’t it? There’s also some faint disappointment in the realization that no one seems to miss me. Carter picks up the shift in my mood from cocky to once again clueless, and she steps closer.

  “It’s not you,” she says softly. “It’s all in the plan, and my people had to be convincing. I had to make sure there’d be no police involved. Everyone says you worked hard and deserve some time for yourself.”

  “Except it’s not just time for myself. It’s for you, and you have a high opinion of yourself if you think you can make all of this look like…”

  “…it’s meant to be?” Carter finishes. “I believe so. I don’t make investments when I think the end results aren’t worth it.”

  “I’m sure. So that’s what I am—an investment with fairly promising prospects?”

  She holds my gaze as her fingers travel up my arm. I can’t hide my reaction, the shiver skittering down my spine.

  “You are so much more than that.”

  Am I? I want to believe her. I think I’ll feel better once I talked to me parents, though I’m not sure what to tell them. It’s not just that the world has changed drastically. I have changed already.

  “I’m sorry I have to leave you alone for lunch. Marlene will be in the dining room. She’ll prepare whatever you like. I’ll get you when it’s a better time to call, and then I’ll show you the pool. Dinner will be more relaxed.”

  “Okay.” Whatever, I almost add, but I don’t want to sound like a brat, even though I’m obviously being spoiled. I wonder what would happen if I ordered oysters. I won’t. I’m not a big fan of seafood.

  When are we going to stop this awkward dance and get to what she really brought me here for?

  * * * *

  I see Marlene in the dining room and tell her I’m not that hungry, a sandwich will be fine. Whatever’s in the fridge. Of course, when she brings my plate, the sandwich with a side of vegetables and crispy fries is a world from your usual diner food. Tasty rye bread, salad, mayonnaise, smoky ham. It’s nothing short of amazing, and I enjoy it, feeling guilty for some reason I can’t grasp. I’ve had good food before, but not like this, and maybe I think, deep down inside, I have done nothing to be bathed in this kind of luxury. Sure, it’s only a sandwich, but there’s the closet full of expensive designer clothes, shoes, accessories. I won’t go back to university when the semester starts, or work at the café. This is not like me, this is not me. Everything I’ve had so far, I earned. For Carter, money might not be a big deal, but for me, it is. Being attractive in someone’s eyes is not enough to merit any of this, is it?

  Marlene returns to take away the plate. “What would you like for a dessert, Ms. Elliot?”

  “Oh, nothing, thanks. I’m fine. Everything was delicious.”

  My attempt at reassurance doesn’t chase the worry from her gaze. I’m not sure whether it’s because I refused the offer, or she thinks I might ask her some uncomfortable questions.

  I decide to be up front with her. “You don’t have to worry,” I say. “I won’t ask you any questions you can’t answer. I’m sure Ms. Forbes instructed you.”

  To my surprise, her face lights up. “Oh, I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. You can ask me anything, though I’m afraid nothing I can tell you will be of much help. This one thing might be. You are safe here.”

  “Yeah, I suppose. For sure, I’ll be well-fed as long as you are around.”

  We both laugh, and I’m baffled at how this situation feels almost normal. “Would you consider it annoying if I changed my mind on dessert?”

  “Not at all. There’s some fresh cherry cheesecake…various flavors of ice cream…chocolate mousse, or a piece of pie maybe?”

  I never had to fret over these particular choices. This experience comes with many firsts, my thoughts starting to wander into a different territory.

  “I think I’ll go with the cheesecake. Thanks,” I say, blushing for no reason. Then again, Marlene probably has an idea as to why I’m here. That’s not making it better. Still, I enjoy the slice of delicious cake she brings me with a cup of coffee.

  Back in my quarters—it’s crazy that I’ve started to think of these rooms as such—there’s so much more light coming in. Someone opened the blinds, allowing more stunning ocean views and a glimpse of an infinity pool. Wow. I might have said it out loud. Palm trees, incredibly blue water, not a cloud in the sky. I should take Carter’s advice, start to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen to me here, except for maybe gaining a few pounds. Then again, knowing her, there’s probably a gym on the property.

  I’ll be fine, right?

  Something irks me still, about having all those day-to-day—and some bigger—decisions taken out of my hands. I had planned for my near future, to get my degree, to have a career, to do it all by myself and take pride in that fact. A one-year break wouldn’t have been so bad, had I made that choice myself.

  It’s about control. For sure, it’s about control for her too, and I’m left to wonder what’s her story, what she has to prove to me, to herself, to anybody.

  The shiny new books can’t hold my attention. There has to be a way of reasoning with her, somehow. I can take a few weeks off, but
a year? That’s not possible right now. Carter needs to understand that.

  Chapter Four

  When she comes to pick me up, I’m ready though it wasn’t exactly easy to make a choice from the various bikinis and bathing suits. I went with the bathing suit that had the most fabric, classic black, all the while shaking my head at myself.

  Carter is wearing a robe, over appropriate bathing gear, I assume, and all of a sudden I don’t know where to look. It’s ridiculous, the effect she has on me.

  “Would you like to call first?”

  Are we going to talk—about everything? In the pool, or over dinner, at any time before we cross lines that can’t be uncrossed?

  I take the cell phone from her, wondering which area code I need to press.

  “It’s pre-programmed,” she says. “Just hit call.”

  “I take it you won’t give me privacy for this?”

  “I take it you’re curious enough at this point not to risk our privacy?”

  “Funny,” I say. “I don’t even know where we are. Like that’s not suspicious at all.” However, I make the call as instructed, and after three rings, my mother picks up.

  “Hi Mom. I just wanted to check in…see if everything’s okay over there.”

  “Penny!” She sounds pleased. “We’re fine. How are you? I hope you’re not working too hard during the summer. Everyone needs to take a break, you know.”

  Carter, a few feet away, can’t have heard this, but I see her lips curve into a smile anyway.

  “I’m taking a break, Mom. I...I am taking a few days off, at the beach with some friends.” Little white lies. It sounds better than “this rich gorgeous lady kidnapped me to a place unknown”. Come to think of it, a person would assume I’m drunk or on drugs rather than for it to be true.

  “Great. You girls have fun. The coast is so beautiful at this time of year.” Except I’m nowhere near the coast she’s talking about.

  “It is,” I say with regard to the beautiful panorama spread out in front of me. What am I afraid of anyway? I’m not forced to take time off studying for terrible reasons. Plans have changed. I am wary of changes, but it’s hard to argue with everything I’ve experienced in the past days, save for the drugs and headache. “Is Dad there?”

  “He’s in the workshop. Should I call him?”

  “No, you don’t have to. I’ll call another time.” I look up at Carter and she nods. “I have to go. Love you. Bye.” I guess I’ll have another chance to explain why I won’t go back to university after the holidays, and the job…Yes, it was okay while it lasted, but my situation has been drastically altered. I might be uncomfortable being showered with gifts and what it means, but I lost the job because Carter decided I should be here with her. When the time comes to resume worrying about tuition, I think it would be okay for her to pay me back in some way.

  “See, that went well,” she says. It’s still hard to believe that a person with a demeanor this warm and happy could have planned and orchestrated a kidnapping. “Let’s go take a swim now.”

  From the room, she leads me to an elevator. In the mirror, I study our reflections, her, excited, a soft blush to her cheeks. Me, in a constant state of bewilderment—though, that’s not the whole truth. In Carter’s plan, does the three-date-rule apply, and does this morning’s breakfast count?

  She’s driving me crazy, her attitude, her hunger for control, her…promise. I’m going back and forth between the facts, my mixed emotions about them. I try to be a decent person and to fulfill my obligations. I still feel like there’s nothing I’ve done to deserve to be…elevated to this luxury life. Carter must at least run a business and do it well to get to where she is now or, at the very least, inherited a fortune and managed to make smart choices. I just happened to catch her attention. That seems so old-fashioned, so wrong. I didn’t choose to be here, even though I would have probably said yes if she’d asked me. To dating her, to sex, to spending a few days in this rich person getaway place—if not a year.

  We’re here now, no chance to undo first impressions, and part of me wants to go further, to put her to the test and see what she has to offer me in exchange for taking away my freedom.

  For one, I get to leave the house for the first time since I got here, though we don’t get far. The pool is fenced in, no obvious escape route.

  The leisurely pace, something I am not used to, seems to have slowed my brain as well, because I haven’t even thought about it in a few hours. The warm air feels amazing, the size of the pool allowing me to do a real workout and shake the feeling of being caged, even with the fence. Beyond it, there’s the ocean not far away and a stretch of what I assume to be a private beach. I always knew that people like Carter and the lives they lead exist for real, I just never thought I’d get a taste of it. Once in a while you dream of winning the lottery, but you never think it can actually happen.

  I got the jackpot, because Carter Forbes decided that’s the way it should be.

  She joins me when I take a break in the shallow end of the pool, waiting for me to speak. It seems like she always knows when I need to.

  “What if we do this for a while, and then you get tired of me? You throw me out? Revoke the unwritten contract? Would you even pay for my ticket home?”

  She holds my gaze, unflinching, reaches out to brush a wet strand of hair from my face.

  “First of all, I’ll never get tired of you. I know myself, and I know enough about you to be able to say that.” Her hand moves to my cheek, her thumb brushing over my lips. “If at some point this doesn’t work out, I’ll pay you back for everything I’ve taken from you, I promise,” she continues. “Everything in the closet is yours. I’d get you settled in a new apartment and make sure you’ll have a job to continue paying for tuition. I just hope it won’t come to that.” Her gaze says, I know it won’t come to that. Her absolute confidence is a turn on as much as it is a source of frustration. My eyes meet hers, then, move to her mouth and I’m startled to admit I wish she would kiss me. I’m not going to ask. I can’t. However, I’m much aware all of a sudden that there’s very little fabric between us, and I wish it wasn’t there at all.

  “That’s a relief,” I say, sounding inappropriately breathless in reaction to the undeniable sensations caused by imagination and suggestion. She had good eyes when it comes to gauging my size, but maybe the bathing suit is a little tight, the fabric pressing into sensitive places—or maybe that’s my imagination too, because all my attention is heading to the gutter fast. There’s still staff in the house. She won’t do anything out here.

  As I said, I won’t be asking her.

  “I want you to feel completely secure. Whatever’s been troubling you until now, you can let go.”

  Warm, sexy, seductive. She knows her game. I’m not a virgin, but I have to confess I would probably not be a match for Carter on a leveled playing field. I haven’t dated anyone in too long. I miss the excitement, the intimacy, and being far from home and everything I know is starting to erase inhibitions I’d have under different circumstances.

  “It’s not easy.”

  “Believe me, I know.” She changes the subject rather abruptly. “What do you say we come back outside in a bit for dinner? After that, I’ll show you the media room and the cocktail bar. I know you love to read, but maybe you’d like to catch the news or a movie. I don’t want you to get bored.”

  “Don’t worry. Getting kidnapped is the least boring thing that’s ever happened in my life.”

  It’s nice, this relaxed atmosphere between us, but nevertheless we have some difficult conversations ahead. I owe it to myself not to forget about them, not to yield so easily, like the women in the romance novels…because as surreal as it seems, this is reality, and I have to make sense of it.

  * * * *

  It’s incredible what a difference sunlight and fresh air makes. As we have dinner, an incredibly tasty fish dish with herbs and butter and white wine, I tell her.

  Carter looks a
bit guilty, which is highly unusual for her. Maybe I’m getting somewhere, in trying to make her understand that the details of whatever this is between us need some renegotiating. Of course, the sentiment doesn’t last long.

  “I already moved this step up. I had to make sure I could trust you too. Nothing in your history suggests that you would try to harm yourself or anyone else in this house, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

  “What did you think, that I’d hit you over the head with a lamp?” I remember there are no sharp objects or medication of any kind in the bathroom. Well, if I was that desperate, I might have swallowed some soap? The thought makes me cringe. I am lucky. My situation is odd, confusing, but in no way desperate.

  “You could have misunderstood some things. I think you did, at first. I don’t blame you—this is unusual.”

  “You can say that. Marlene is an amazing cook,” I say. “Beware, I might be falling in love with her.”

  Carter laughs, but I see something other than humor flash in her dark eyes…jealousy? It’s completely irrational. That’s my mind talking. It’s hot. That’s my body, stealing my breath with a jolt of heat.

  “Wait until you taste her cocktails,” she says, “and don’t get any ideas. Marlene is happily married to a great guy, two kids, one grandchild. As much as I think you’re irresistible, you wouldn’t have a chance with her.”

  This brings me to another question, if only briefly—Marlene apparently knows all about my presence here, which makes her a witness, accomplice, to a crime. Legally speaking, in any case, because I’m not exactly in acute need of help. Is Carter such a great employer that they look the other way, or does she hold something over them? I push my uncomfortable musings aside. How easy I’ve become, placated by a gourmet meal and the lure of cocktails. Over the rim of my wine glass, I study Carter, trying not to be too obvious about it. What I’d really like to know is whether she’ll come to my room again tonight.

  * * * *

  The media room is modest, Carter says, but she thinks it will do. Taking in the huge LED TV, the slightly curved screen, and the additional furniture including a soft-looking dark blue suede couch with cup holders, I almost roll my eyes. Sure, for watching the news every once in a while, it will do.