Surrender Your Heart

by Raven J. Spencer

  “I’m glad you’re happy.”

  This year, what she’s missing is not so bad in comparison. She’d miss study time for work anyway, and that would be without the security of having enough money for some time to come, and don’t forget about the sex. I’m starting to believe my own words. We will be okay.

  * * * *

  “You bitch! You’re stealing not only the future of my children, but those of hundreds of employees! I made promises to them!”

  Nice try, Mr. Wellington, but I’ve been called worse.

  “Oh, forgive me. I didn’t know you sexually assaulted some of the employees so you could secure their future, and that of your children. How unselfish of you.”

  “Those bitches lied! Not that it’s any of your business.” Furious, he walks away to discuss with his attorney in the corner, on the other side of the room. Not that there’s much to discuss, the die is cast, it’s not like he has any other options.

  Gillian and I refrain ourselves from a high five, because that would be unprofessional, and really, there’s not so much to celebrate. On the contrary, it makes me angry to think what we’re up against, every day, even in our position that looks so much better than the average sales person in the Wellington business with a boss who can’t keep it in his pants.

  The concept of wanting something and going for instant gratification, regardless of other people’s lives involved, it’s childish, isn’t it?

  Isn’t it exactly what I have done? I shake my head to myself. This is different. It has to be, because the main incentive is still to protect her. Otherwise, I wouldn’t look so good in this story, would I? I can’t wait to be back with her, hold her, make love to her. Yes, that’s what I’m secretly calling it now.

  I’m in love.

  The realization shouldn’t come as a surprise, and yet it is shocking. It’s a relief I don’t have time to dwell.

  “I’ll sign this travesty of a contract,” Wellington hisses, “but be aware, this isn’t over.”

  “Oh, threats in the presence of my attorney…tsk,” I make. “Didn’t yours tell you that’s not a good idea? Don’t worry. We’ll take good care of business, and I believe the employee performance will drastically improve with a CEO who can keep their hands to themselves.”

  His face reddens. “Is that it? You destroy a business just for the heck of it, because of your lesbian feminist agenda? Just be aware, rumors travel damn fast.”

  That makes me laugh, and him even angrier. “What rumors? That I’m a lesbian and a feminist? You’ve got to come up with something better than that. Those are not rumors.”

  “I believe you’re doing business in countries where your kind isn’t welcome.”

  “You forget one thing, Marcus. My money is always welcome—and just like you, most people have a hard time saying no to it. Thank you so much. Always a pleasure.”

  I walk away with another billion dollar company. I deserve a weekend away on a yacht with a beautiful woman, don’t I?

  I check in with Nick and Marlene to assure myself everything is quiet at my temporary home, tell Marlene to let Penelope have fun in the pool if she wants to. I might have had fantasies about a prolonged vacation, but in some ways, she is too much like me. We can’t slow down for too long.

  Once all obstacles are out of the way, in the long run, she could try out one of those online universities to finish her degree.

  I’ve never been so excited about coming home, it’s downright scary.

  * * * *

  Chapter Nine

  Penny

  Something happened with me. I did my homework, read a couple of more books from the book club list, did a few laps in the pool, all the while anxiously waiting for Carter to come back.

  It’s not that I have nothing to do—I have plenty. Marlene showed me the well-equipped gym, and against all odds, I’ve spent some time there too. A personal trainer sat down with me to create an individual routine, and after all, I get a chance to wear the brand new workout gear. I’m feeling guilty, because I’ve come to feel a lot less guilty about living in this paradise. I’ve almost forgotten how I got here, or anything that existed before. I still want my degree, talk to my family and friends sometime soon, but I believe Carter will keep her promise.

  The fears I had when I first woke up in this house seem ridiculous now. She’s not a bad person. It’s a valid question why someone with her background and her wealth couldn’t simply ask a woman she’s interested in on a date…but I’ve come to realize maybe that’s exactly what it is, an uncertainty. Maybe over time I can make her understand, that she needs to trust and let go too.

  After working on my paper, I settle into a chair with another book. It’s much easier to delve into fiction when you have—almost—nothing to worry about.

  This is such a beautiful place…and the temperature seems to be steady. Of course I still don’t know where exactly I am, somewhere in the Caribbean, is my guess. Maybe, if I can convince Carter that I have no intention of going anywhere, she’ll give me my passport back.

  My thoughts wander back to the last “book boyfriend” from a title Haley had chosen. Those fictional men always irritate me and leave me with a lot of questions. I mean, isn’t the reason why they feel the need to go all alpha on the main character that deep down inside, they are immature? Insecure, having to assure themselves of their power.

  With Carter…It’s different. It can’t be the same, ever, socialization takes care of that, yet, as an incredibly successful businesswoman, she had to play the game, by the old boys’ rules. I want to believe, though, that she’s more self-aware, that she can do better than them. I must be convinced, otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here reading books for club meetings I won’t attend, would I?

  The truth is, I’m hooked now, I’m in the story. I want to see how it ends. Carter and me, what is possible for us beyond playing dress-up for her, the insane luxury that still stuns me, and the amazing sex.

  Am I pathetic? She planned a year which I initially thought was crazy. Here I am, all in after weeks.

  I lay the book aside. It might be a good idea to explore my surroundings a bit more, not so much to find a way out, but to distract myself from the more uncomfortable thoughts. It’s a beautiful garden, flowers, trees—this is where all the fresh fruit comes from—a sitting area a bit further away from the pool. A barbecue. Somehow, I don’t think Carter is the type to entertain much. I believe she deals with people as much as she has to and is more than happy to close the door behind her at the end of the day, coming home to…me? That idea is both flattering, and, in some way, disturbing.

  How could she make a decision like that on a whim? Do people really know? Does she? Do I? Is this how it feels?

  “Good morning,” the voice startles me out of my thoughts and makes me blush, because my mind had once again wandered into intimate areas.

  I don’t know who the man is, but I return his greeting, smiling uneasily, and walk away. Judging from his clothes and the tools he’s carrying, he’s doing some gardening. I realize that a lot more people must be on the premises than I thought. For some reason, I believed the only people allowed into the inner sanctum were Nick, the head of security, and Marlene, but of course this is a huge place for just the two of them to manage.

  “I haven’t seen you here before. Are you a friend of Ms. Forbes?”

  I realize he’s still talking to me, and, spooked, I evade any conversation by hastily making my way back to the pool. You’d think after being isolated from everything I know, I’d appreciate some small talk, but the truth is I don’t.

  I might have rebelled against the circumstances at first, but with each day that passes, I realize I don’t have that much to argue with. When people win the lottery, do they feel guilty toward those who are less fortunate?

  Carter chose me. She’s making my life comfortable in a way it never was, in a way I could never make it on my own—that is like winning the lottery, and I want to make the most of it r
ather than spend my time dreaming up worst case scenarios.

  I ask Marlene, who serves me a delicious mango curry for lunch, about the man in the yard.

  “He spoke to you?” she asks, frowning.

  “I didn’t say anything, just hello.”

  Marlene sighs. “He shouldn’t have done that. He asked my husband to help him with a job, and we came up with this solution. He’s not supposed to talk to you.”

  “That’s okay. It was just a friendly greeting.” I suppose I better not tell her about the question…I don’t want someone to lose his job over something trivial like this.

  “Well, thanks for telling me. Enjoy your meal.”

  I do, and afterwards I go back to the library, enjoy the coolness of the room, and simply the presence of this many books. For a private collection, it’s insanely beautiful, and it makes me wonder exactly how rich Carter is. This mansion is not her main home, I am sure. Does she keep another one closer to the headquarters of her company, a house like this, or a condo in a high rise? Maybe she’ll take me there, some day, when I’ve convinced her that I won’t run away. Maybe this, whatever it is between us, can be something permanent, beyond the probation time behind locked doors in her vacation home.

  I wander back to my rooms, finding a pleasant surprise.

  It’s Carter, sitting in one of the armchairs by the window. She gets up to greet me. My heart skips a beat. I can’t believe how much I missed her. Sure, I have to spend time by myself even when she is here, but that is different. One step forward, and I’m in her arms. She kisses me gently, and every doubt, every question becomes meaningless for long moments. Pathetic? Maybe, but I don’t care.

  “Did you have a good trip?” I ask when she releases me.

  “Not all of it was pleasant, but the results are,” Carter says. “I’d like to celebrate with you. How would you like spending the weekend on a boat?”

  “As long as you’re with me, I would like it very much.”

  Her surprised smile tells me she didn’t expect that answer. “Do we have to leave right now? I mean,” I sit on the back of the bed, “I’d love to give you a proper welcome home.”

  “We have a little time,” she says. “God, I missed you too.”

  * * * *

  It is on somewhat shaky knees that I follow Carter to the deck where we board the yacht Destiny, a pristine white play toy for someone who firmly holds their place in the 1%. Crystal clear blue water, green hills in the distance, white sand and palm trees. I had an impression from my window, and the backyard, but I don’t get the whole picture until we’re out at sea. I can’t stop staring at this amazing scenery. We’ll be out here a couple of hours and then spend the night in another harbor. Carter stands behind me, arms wrapped around me.

  I love the unspoken intimacy. I love being close to her. Yes, I believe this is how it feels.

  “You trust me not to run away once we’re in the harbor? Over night?”

  Carter has a license to handle this beauty, and even though she has staff for everything, it’s just the two of us for the weekend.

  “I believe you’ll be too exhausted to try anything like it,” she whispers, a shiver skittering down my spine. She whispered to me like that earlier, and I know exactly what she means. She’s probably right.

  “Besides that, yes, I trust you. I know all of this came as a shock to you at first, but you’re over it. I can tell.”

  “I think you’re right, but—I still have some questions. I can vaguely guess where we are, of course, but I still don’t know exactly where, and I wonder if you could give me back my passport, all documents from my apartment, for that matter. I promise, I won’t run away. I want to be here.”

  “I know.” Carter’s tone is partly cautious, partly frustrated, but I supposed it’s not with me. She brushes my hair aside to place a kiss on my neck. “Can we take care of all of this once we’re back home?”

  “Yes, of course. I can wait a few more days.”

  With that, I surprise myself, but nevertheless, it rings true.

  “Good,” Carter says. “I promise you won’t have to endure my cooking either. I’ve had Marlene prepare some meals and fill the fridge for us.”

  “That sounds great. Your cooking can’t be that bad, though. You’re good at everything else.”

  “You must know.” She laughs softly, a promise of things to come.

  * * * *

  We can hear the soft sound of the water down here, and moonlight is crawling through the windows. All of this creates a warm, peaceful atmosphere when we’re under deck where the space is even dreamier and far more incredible than I could have imagined, with a sitting area, a fully furnished kitchen and dining space, and several bedrooms. She leads me to the master suite with a bed as big as the one in my room and every bit as inviting. The feel of heated skin against cool soft sheet is amazing, and when I turn around, I blush at the sight of the two of us entwined in the big mirror. Blushing doesn’t stop me from wanting to pleasure her though, and I make her lie down, cover her, kiss my way down her body, unable to wait any longer.

  Soon her hands sink into my hair—not to guide me, but to gently hold on. Carter knows I know what I’m doing, though I have to wonder if I’ve ever been this enthusiastic, hungry, with anyone. Her body welcomes my fingers, my tongue, power dynamics are shifting, and it seems like we both stopped caring. There’s no more room for questions. Paperwork and such, we’ll take care of that another day. Now, I’ll take care of her.

  In my mind, I picture the image of the two of us in the mirror. It sends a wave of heat through my body. Nothing has ever felt like this. Besides, Carter could easily pick and choose whom to impress with her wealth—she wanted me. I feel her twitch against my tongue and reach up to stroke her breasts, then link my fingers with her. Her breathless gasp and the movement of her hips are a clear indication. I hold on tightly, guide her through her orgasm with as much stimulation as she can handle…maybe a little more.

  When her body stills underneath me, I move to lie on top of her listening to her rapid heartbeat. She smiles up at me with an expression that shows, besides the undeniable satisfaction, a hint of resignation. I brush the back of my hand against her cheek.

  “Don’t worry about anything,” I whisper, stealing her line. I’ve got one of my own as well. “I love you.” Carter pulls me down for a kiss, which is okay, because I didn’t expect her to say it back to me, not yet anyway. After a few moments, she pushes her hand between my legs. I raise myself up and let her touch become my whole world, opening me up, filling me, completing me.

  “Let me taste you,” she says, a soft-spoken command I cannot resist. When I feel her tongue on me, I can’t hold out any longer. Moans turn to whimpers and then rather pathetic sobs as my body falls into a shuddering climax. Carter eases me down on the bed. For some reason, as I curl up in her arms, I have the impulse to cry. She holds me close, running her hand down my back as if she reads my mind. Much as I try to tell it to myself, not everything is okay. I am falling for her, hard, or maybe it’s already happened. That was her plan all along, wasn’t it? The truth of it makes me more vulnerable than any locked doors or “harmless” sedatives could. Wanting to be here, not wanting any of this to end, it’s scary, because with that, I’m giving her back all the power, over my future, over me. It’s not right, but that’s what we’re dealing with right now.

  “Don’t be scared,” Carter says. Damn, but she’s reading my mind. “Even if you wanted to go once the year is over, and I hope you won’t—you will never again have to worry about money.”

  “It’s not about the money,” I say, sounding too weepy for me liking. “I’m sorry. I swear I’m not trying to kill the mood.”

  “You’re not.” She kisses my neck softly, her hand brushing over the side of a breast.

  No, she’s right, I’m not. In fact, the mood is still just fine.

  “I know we had an odd start, but I meant it when I said you’re safe with me, in everythi
ng. That includes not letting you go hungry. I believe it’s time for dinner?”

  Someone took good care to stock the fridge with delicacies like shrimp cocktails, cheeses, fruit, meat and bread. We assemble a plate and bring it on the deck together with a bottle of wine and two glasses. On another boat in the marina, there’s a party, people laughing and clinking their glasses together. It’s far enough that the background noise is only in the distance, on the other side, the clear sky with the full moon.

  “Tell me about your business trip,” I say. At some point we will need to know more about each other in addition to the fact that our bodies fit together perfectly. The happy memory causes a hot twinge somewhere deep inside of me. No doubt about it, Carter Forbes got under my skin.

  She shrugs, leaning back in her chair, relaxed. “No big deal. I bought an electronics chain from a guy who couldn’t keep his hands off the female employees. Well, that wasn’t all he did, so I decided he should be out. People work better without fear. We’ll keep the good ones, and kick out those who covered for him.”

  I really like that about her. Yes, she’s rich and somewhat entitled, but that doesn’t make her a bad person. I know she’s not. I wouldn’t fall in love with one, would I?

  “What do you think about unions?”

  Her lips curve into an amused smile. Carter is well aware that I’m testing her. “Fine with me. Everyone who comes to work for me has a safe and well-paid job, no matter the department. Am I passing so far?”

  “You already passed. It’s just that…you obviously did your homework. You know everything about me. I’m trying to find out who you are. Gorgeous and skilled in the bedroom, sure, but I want to know more.”

  Did I just make her blush?

  Carter chuckles. “Well, you know I can’t cook and I don’t care to. I was very lucky to find Marlene. I minored in sociology, so it was fun to assemble all that literature for you. When I want something, I don’t want to have to wait for it.”