Surrender Your Heart
Page 15
“Let’s go to bed,” she says. “You’re going to be cold.”
“I’m okay, but going to bed sounds good,” I tell her. If I can make the few steps into the bedroom, to the king-sized bed, I have something for her as well. The thought is enough to bring my body out of its heavy, relaxed state, make the heat pulse and spread once more.
I lie down in the middle of the bed and wait for Carter to undress, which she does in a few quick impatient moves before she joins me.
For long moment, I simply enjoy her body on top of mine, the heat of our kisses and the skin to skin contact—but that’s not all I planned for her.
“Come up here, please? I want to taste you.”
Carter looks hesitant, but it doesn’t take more than me licking my lips to convince her.
Trust has to go both ways.
I caress her trembling thighs, then cup her ass firmly before I lean in for something more intimate. Each brush of my tongue has her more helpless, receiving, and yielding. It’s a heady feeling to know I can do this to her, make her mine just the same. The reward is incredibly satisfying, if sooner than expected. I’ll draw it out longer the next time. For the moment, I’m happy to have proof she missed me just as much.
It goes on and on. With this newfound freedom, we no longer have to worry about the timeframe or any open questions. The ones that are left—I’m confident we’ll find a solution.
Yeah, some things in romance novels might not be too far-fetched after all.
“You got another job, enrolled back in your classes,” Carter says, much later when we’re too exhausted to move anymore.
“I had to. Doing nothing, waiting for something that might never happen, was driving me crazy. I want you. I never cared about the money.”
“There’s no shame in caring about it a little.” Her hand is warm on my back. I’m drifting, almost falling asleep under her touch. “What would you say about spending Christmas in the mountains, snowed in by the fireplace?”
The moment is almost comical. Why would I think she owns only one vacation home? Of course there’s one for every occasion.
“You’re asking me? That’s progress,” I tease her.
Her answer is a somewhat indulgent smile, because we both know I’m right. I’m coming to terms with everything I’ve learned today, and what it means—that she was both doing a job and enacting a fantasy, that whatever happened between us could have gone either way, but is on a good track now.
I will go as far as admitting that in part, I came to share that fantasy…and there will be reminders of it, the occasional role-playing moment on the edge of kink. Even if it looks like those novels my best friends adore, it’s not. It’s a lot more complex, but reality always is, and I trust that they’re aware of it.
“To answer your question, I’d love to.”
“Good. I’ll have your winter clothes shipped to my place in Aspen, then.” Aspen. Of course. She opens her arms, and I settle into her embrace. I have no expectations of her that include removing every single obstacle from my life, but this is what I want, to be with her.
The Happily Ever After doesn’t seem so unrealistic after all.
Chapter Sixteen
Carter
Penelope’s parents are, understandably, a bit cautious. After all, to them, I’m still the woman who lured their daughter away from a life of structure and goals. I can’t deny that I failed at times at keeping her safe, and I’m deeply sorry for it, but of course that’s nothing to discuss with the Elliots either.
I hope when they see us together, they’ll know I love her and would give my life to protect her. I hope that will distract them from the shadow of obsession, a trace of something deep and exhilarating that was there between us, right from the start, and will always be there.
I might go the old-fashioned route and ask her father for her hand in marriage soon—for now, the aim is to convince them Penelope will be safe on a two-week ski trip with me. I don’t mention that there might not be a lot of skiing.
“You take good care of her,” her mom says.
“Mom,” Penelope protests, blushing. She’s probably imagining the ways in which I will take care of her.
“Don’t worry. I will.” She told me earlier that she doesn’t care much for ski. We won’t get bored.
For dinner, we drink the bottle of wine that I brought. I watch Penelope interact with her parents, their tone changing slightly when they speak to me, polite and pleasant, but with some reservation. I know they’re worried, even now that Penelope has decided to go back to university and a new job. I’ve made plans as well. The university is fine, but having her live in a dorm room, or work as a waitress would make me look bad, so we’ll have to talk about these arrangements as well. Pride is fine, but there’s no need to exaggerate.
These hard working folks love their daughter, but it’s still hard to understand for them that I want to lay the world at her feet, figuratively speaking. I’m sure they’ll come around. Very few people tell me no.
I have some ideas how to ensure Penelope won’t either, when I give her the ring—and they’re all legal. After all, I want to keep my friends in law enforcement.
All else is between the two of us.
* * * *
“Why? I wanted to save some money until the semester starts, to have a bit of a cushion.”
I don’t think Penelope does this on purpose, but this conversation alerts us to a small road block.
“You’re living with me, you don’t have to pay rent,” I remind her.
“True, but…” She bites her lip, looking worried. I know it’s not that she’s scared I could leave her. We’re past that. I’m not capable of letting her go. “I need to do something. Volunteer, then.”
If it’s that important to her, and I know it is, there could be an alternative. I thought about Human Resources first, but this might be even better. “You always wanted to look into my charity work. If you want, you can do a paid internship with the people who handle that department.”
She sighs. “Thank you. I don’t want to be difficult, but…do you think I’m difficult?”
“No, most of the time…you’re not. Especially not when you’re naked,” I can’t help adding, and she laughs. “I’m serious! I’m grateful for all of this. I’m not taking it for granted.”
“Don’t worry. I know.”
Once that is settled, nothing stands in the way of an extravagant Christmas vacation anymore.
* * * *
Travel eats up most of the first day. Outside, the air is crisp and cold, stars shining brightly in the night sky. I surprise Penelope by cooking dinner—she probably didn’t think I could after I kept telling her what I lousy cook I was—but she does enjoy it, from the antipasti to the creamy chicken pasta and an exclusive red wine, finished off with a zabaione. I even admit to her that it’s the only menu I learned to cook. At this point in our relationship, Penelope deserves nothing but the truth.
We finish our wine on the couch by the fireplace. Her eyes are sparkling, her cheeks flushed with excitement.
It’s some kind of miracle that she’s still here, but I’m willing to invest whatever it takes to keep her with me. Clearly, it takes more than money.
There’s the warmth from the flames flickering in the fireplace, and the cooler light coming from the full moon above when we retreat to the bedroom, all of a sudden not so tired anymore.
Intimacy is a space free of all the complications we started out with, here is where the pieces always fall into place.
The danger is past, even though my infatuation with her is not. Penelope is free to go wherever she wants to, but what she chooses is to surrender, to let me tie her down with soft scarves, handle her body with care, with my hands, my mouth, and the small vibrating device I brought with me.
When I remove the restraints, she lies still. Penelope is warm and heavy as I pull her in my arms. I know what it feels like when you’re too overwhelmed for words and whatever you
could come up with seems too trivial to express what’s going on in body and mind. I know what that feels like because of her.
“I love you too,” I say, because it’s long overdue, and it has been the truth for some time. I move to get up, and she reaches for me.
“Please, stay.”
“I’ll be back in a moment.”
This is a perfectly staged scene, no need to be nervous. I have to admit, part of me is, because after the rocky start and the intensity that has never changed, maybe Penelope wants to keep it casual at least on one level. I want to overwhelm her; I’m worried I could overwhelm her.
It’s easier when you have the narrative of trying to save someone’s life on your side—then, anything goes. In love, not all is fair.
I return to the bedroom with the small velvet box, sit on the side of the bed, suddenly amused. Her deep and even breathing tells me she’s fast asleep. I’m fairly sorry for having to wake her, but this can’t wait another minute.
Reluctantly, Penelope lets herself be drawn out of dreamland. She sits up in bed, wrapping herself in the sheet, yawning. “You know I’m willing, but could you give me a few hours of sleep first?” she says, laughing. I can’t help but join in, if only for a moment—this is serious. I open the box and hold it out to her.
“Merry Christmas, and here’s one question I have for you. Will you marry me?”
She didn’t expect that, I can tell this much from her astonished expression. The torture lasts for a few more seconds before she whispers, “Yes.”
“Could you say that again? I’m not sure I got you the first time.”
She slaps my arm lightly. “I think you heard me the first time. Yes. Yes, of course I will marry you.”
There will be no one-year period after all. Penelope is wearing my ring, binding us together in more ways than the locked doors of my Caribbean home could. There are many memories connected to the place, not all of them good, so Hawaii might be a better choice for the honeymoon.
The moment calls for celebration. Champagne…and maybe we won’t sleep right away either.
“Thank you,” I murmur before I give the sheet a gentle tug. Penelope holds my gaze. Hers is amused and excited alike.
“You’re insatiable,” she says.
There’s no way I can deny the charges. As I promised her before, I could never get enough of her—and being with her, there’s nothing left to prove to all the people who are waiting to see me fail. “…and you like it.”
“I do,” Penelope says, a beautiful reminder of things to come.
Epilogue
Penny…
I’ve been wrong…and right. Courted, cherished, swept off my feet by someone who’s obsessed with me. We both make the rules of the game and the bigger picture, our relationship. I will work for her, but not in close proximity, live with her and finish my degree. I will be Carter Forbes’ wife, and she will be mine.
There’s a lot that the novels neglect, about the responsibilities each has to take individually, for themselves, about the need to find a balance, to define where each person begins and ends when your instinct is to lose yourself in one another.
They are right in one thing: Love will change everything, blunt, demanding and unapologetic. When you say yes, you better know what you’re doing. For the first time in my adult life, I am certain.
It is real.
About the author:
Raven J. Spencer, lesbian, married, loves everything sensual and indulgent which led her to write erotic romance and fantasies. When she’s not writing, you can often find her on Pinterest in the pursuit of inspiration. http://www.pinterest.com/ravenjspencer/
Other works (novelettes):
The A Perfect Dream series:
A Perfect Dream
A Second Chance
Off Screen
A Sweet Deal
An Intimate Case
Truth or Dare
The Intern (Valentine’s Day short)
www.amazon.com/author/ravenjspencer
Coming soon: The dark erotica novel Soulless