The Haunted Onsen

by Phil Gabriel

  He was echoing Kitty-Sue’s earlier comments. Was I that easily swayed by a pretty face, pert breasts, a dancing butt, and a charming smile? The fact that my thoughts drifted that way was proof that he was correct.

  I nodded in agreement, then said, “You’re right. I’ll let Kitty-Sue help make the Deal.”

  I stepped over to the bedroom door. “You can use the second bedroom. I’m going to sleep until three p.m. Try to get Daeng here by then.”

  Exhausted, I stepped into the bedroom. Kitty-Sue was curled up on the bed with her tails curled up cutely. I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her tails, luxuriating in the softer-than-mink feel.

  “Shouldn’t you be looking for a lizard to pet?” she said. I knew I could never sneak up on a kitsune.

  “You’re much softer,” I teased. “And I like you more.”

  She sat up and turned to look at me, a frown on her face. I pulled my hand away from her tail. “I didn’t tell you to stop,” she said with a pout.

  “Don’t you have an ape-man to rub against?” I joked, then reached out to continue stroking.

  She tapped her nose. “The nose knows,” she said. “He’ll remain loyal to Lady Jane, no matter what she does while they are apart.”

  On reflection, she was right. I had never known John to dally around on his mate.

  “You’re right,” I said. Then, overcome by curiosity, I asked, “And when you smell me?” Did I want to know?

  She laughed and said, “We both know what you are.” She took my hand and brought it to her chest, where the phantom dagger I had created had pierced her heart.

  “What am I?” I asked.

  “A crazy magician who will never commit to only one woman,” she said. “You’re almost as bad as a tanuke.”

  She leaned in and set her head on my chest, her furry ears tickling my nose. We hugged for a moment, then she said, “So, Patty Pak-wan?”

  The memory of Patty’s kisses, after she had eaten Thai food much too spicy for my Western mouth, and how they had burned pleasantly on my lips, intruded on my thoughts.

  “Just a friend,” I said, pushing the thought away.

  “Just a kinnaree friend?” she said. “Graceful, long-legged, sensuous. Weren’t you afraid of getting Avian Flu?”

  Kitty-Sue knew more about Thai supernaturals than I expected.

  “I’m always careful,” I said. Except with the dragon.

  “You know what Pak-wan means?” she asked.

  “It’s just a nickname,” I said.

  “Pak-wan in Thai means ‘sweet mouth,’” she said. “That can mean sweet talker or bullshitter.”

  I mused for a moment on Patty’s sweet and spicy mouth, then felt claws at my throat.

  “I’m not the jealous type,” lied Kitty-Sue. “But I don’t like it when you think of other women while holding me. And if I ever catch you with feathers anywhere on your body...”

  “Don’t we have an agreement not to talk about exes?” I asked. Do not make any jokes about how she tasted like chicken. Even my insane subconscious knew not to piss Kitty-Sue off.

  As her claws retracted, I continued, “Anyway, kinnaree are short-lived. I’m sure she’s long gone.”

  “Good,” said Kitty-Sue, without a trace of regret. Her touch turned into a caress.

  “Kinnaree are short-lived,” I repeated. “How about kitsune?” How long would we have together?

  Her eyes flashed in anger. Kitsune are very secretive. “You want to know how long I can be useful to you as your bodyguard?”

  “You know I’m not talking about you being my bodyguard. I don’t want to know your secrets,” I said. “I just want an idea of how much time we can have together.”

  She took my hand in hers and looked into my eyes. “‘All we have is now,’” she said. “Isn’t that your quote? We have time, but it will never be enough.”

  “So, you’re evading the question?” I asked.

  She smiled sweetly and said, “Kitsune don’t talk about these things.” She leaned closer and whispered in my ear, “But I can tell you a secret. If you really want to know.”

  “Yes,” I said, “tell me.”

  “The more tails we have, the longer we live,” she said. Then she ruined it by giggling. Was she joking, pulling the leg of the human magician?

  I leaned back and looked at her suspiciously. “Are you trying to get me to help you get more tails?” Our last adventure, which had resulted in her getting her second tail, had come very close to killing me.

  She gave me that look that meant she wasn’t going to talk about this anymore.

  She scooted backward on the bed, putting her back against the headboard. “Maybe that’s my plan,” she said. “Or maybe I just don’t want you to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

  That was certainly true; she was one of the most dangerous people in the world. Then she derailed my thoughts with her next comment. “Isn’t that why we’re together?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “You could have, and have had, many human women,” she said. “Fragile, mortal women. Instead, your closest friends are a kitsune shapeshifter and a ghost.”

  Holding out her hand, she popped out her claws and examined them. “I am very hard to kill, and Akiko is impossible to kill. You picked us for that reason.”

  I hate it when my girlfriend knows me better than I know myself. Had I really avoided human women because of those fears?

  Time to lighten up. I reached out and took her clawed hand, much stronger than human and capable of so much violence. As I stroked her hand, her claws retracted.

  “I don’t just like you because you’re a hard-to-kill, murderous vixen,” I said. She dimpled at the compliment. “You’re a good person, a person I trust. Human, ghost, or kitsune, I haven’t had many of those in my life.”

  She was suddenly in my lap, wriggling her butt into my erection. “You trust me?” she asked. “Even though...?”

  “Yes,” I said, “even though you might have to kill me someday.”

  She leaned in for a kiss. A long time later, as our lips separated, she said, “That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said.”

  17

  A Deal with Daeng

  At 4:00 p.m., I was waiting in the hotel lobby for Daeng. She stepped into the lobby from the street, soaked from the afternoon rain. She was wearing a pair of thick glasses, so spotted with water that she had to remove them to see. She headed towards the reception desk to ask them to call my room, but I walked up behind her before she could speak.

  “Ms. Daeng,” I said, “thanks for coming.” I was careful not to touch her. While Thai bar girls have no shame while working, in public, they don’t like displays of affection. Well, at least that had been the custom when I was last here.

  She jumped at my voice and turned quickly. Her hand went to her Buddha amulet, and I saw the glint of magic. I smiled broadly to ease her fear. She looked around suspiciously, probing to see if Akiko was nearby.

  She decided to play like I was a normal customer and made the wai greeting. “Sawatdee-ka, Ajarn-Scott. Good to see you again.” She turned to the clerk at the counter. A few sentences of rapid-fire Thai and the clerk nodded.

  He turned to me and asked, “Is this lady your guest, sir?”

  “Yes,” I said, “Ms. Daeng is my guest.” At my confirmation, the clerk took Daeng’s National ID card. She wouldn’t be able to get it back until I escorted her back down to the lobby. It was a way to cut down on theft and crime, and it worked well.

  In the elevator, Daeng noted we were going to the higher, more expensive, floors and relaxed slightly.

  She bit her lip before speaking. “Is phi jai-dam still with you?” she asked in a fearful voice.

  “Her name is Akiko,” I said, “and she is not with me now. And she’s not an evil-hearted ghost.”

  Strange that she was more afraid of gentle Akiko than the murderous Kitty-Sue. Still, her fear subsided at my assurances that Akiko was
not around.

  We stepped into the suite to find Kitty-Sue waiting. Kitty-Sue smiled and said hello in Thai. Daeng looked back and forth between us and sputtered out, “Threesome cost extra.”

  Kitty-Sue glanced at me and raised an eyebrow. I shook my head. We had no time for playing around. Kitty-Sue’s approving smile showed this was another test.

  Daeng was dripping on the floor, so Kitty-Sue urged her into the bathroom to shower and dry off. Ten minutes later, Daeng was back out, drying her hair with one of the hotel’s thick towels. She was wearing a silk robe provided by the hotel. Her glasses were still steamed up from the shower, and she peered myopically at us. As she walked, the front of the robe would slide open, showing she was naked underneath. Her tiny purse clutched in her hands prevented her from holding the robe closed.

  As Kitty-Sue opened her mouth to start discussing our project with Daeng, John chose that moment to come out of his bedroom.

  “Foursome cost extra-extra,” said Daeng.

  “Sawatdee khrap,” said John in greeting.

  Daeng started suddenly at recognizing his voice. She pulled up the hem of her bathrobe to clean her glasses, revealing even more of her shapely legs. Once the glasses were clear and back on her nose, she made a wai greeting to John, much deeper than the one she had given me. The wai is similar to the Japanese bow, the lower the bow, the greater the difference in status.

  “Sawatdee-ka, Peter,” said Daeng. “You want me...?” She trailed off uncertainly. John wasn’t the type to dally with his workers.

  Before John could respond, Kitty-Sue stepped in and said, “Mr. Zhan isn’t interested in your qualities as a dancer. We want your help as a wicha.” I puzzled for a moment before realizing that Peter Zhan must be another secret identity for John.

  “I’m not a wicha,” said Daeng. “Not like my grandmother. She was very strong, but she died before she could train me.” She looked down in embarrassment. “I’m only good as a dancer now, no magic.”

  “Let’s go and have a seat in the living room,” I said. “We can discuss if you can help us and what your payment will be.”

  At the mention of payment, she perked up, nodded, and followed us into the living room of the suite.

  The room was set up with Western-style chairs and a couch. Kitty-Sue sat on one end of the couch, and I indicated that Daeng should sit on the other side. Daeng performed a complicated maneuver with her robe and legs that ended with her kneeling on the couch with her legs tucked underneath herself, tiny purse wedged between her hip and the arm of the sofa. Well-mannered Thais don’t aim their feet at people; it’s a sign of disrespect. She couldn’t sit with her feet on the floor because of the short robe. Her response was elegant.

  I gathered drinks for everyone: A Coke for Daeng, water for Kitty-Sue, whiskey for John and me. The mini-bar didn’t stock his favorite, but he accepted.

  “So, Daeng,” I said, “we would like you to become our ‘tour guide’ for a few days. I will pay you to take us around and visit some attractions.”

  “Pay?” she said, then quickly followed with, “How much will you pay?”

  Starting low, I said, “Twice your normal income from the bar. Does that sound fair?”

  She nodded, but then stopped. “Where do you want to tour?”

  “Your hometown, Chiang Rai,” I said with a grin.

  Her quick head shake wiped the smile from my face. “No! Not Chiang Rai.” She crossed her arms in front of her large breasts and looked stubborn.

  “You don’t want to go home and visit your family?” I asked. “I’ll pay for everything.” Daeng looked stubborn and grabbed her purse as if preparing to leave.

  With a sharp “keep quiet” look, Kitty-Sue interjected in Thai, asking questions and discussing terms. It was clear I had hit a cultural misunderstanding that would have ruined the Deal. Luckily, Kitty-Sue was here to smooth the way.

  John just leaned back and observed. Of course, he understood the conversation but wasn’t going to help. This was my Deal, and I had to strike the terms. After a few minutes, Kitty-Sue smiled at Daeng and turned to me.

  “Of course, Ajarn-Scott isn’t asking you to go home to your family as his bar-girl,” she said. “He wants you to go as an employee of his company, with a very well-paying job.”

  I nodded at the condition. Hell, I was still paying a salary to the woman who had tried to trade me off to a wolf pack. One more on the payroll wouldn’t hurt. It would be cheap.

  “And,” continued Kitty-Sue, “Ajarn-Scott insists that I take you shopping to get you businesswoman outfits so you can look very professional.” Kitty-Sue helping her shop? OK, maybe not so cheap. I nodded at this extra condition.

  “Tour guide only?” said Daeng. “Not as a girlfriend? No dancing?” I smiled at the euphemism but nodded acceptance.

  “Strictly professional, Pe-Daeng,” I said, using the honorific to show she now had a higher rank. “No dancing.

  “Is the Deal acceptable to you, Pe-Daeng?” I asked.

  “‘Well paying,’” said Daeng. “How well paying?”

  “Fifty thousand Thai baht per month,” I offered. With the latest exchange rates, that would be about fifteen hundred dollars a month. Average salaries in Thailand ran about twenty thousand baht. I thought this was a good offer.

  She looked down and said in a small voice, “It seems low, Ajarn-Scott.”

  I felt a flash of anger. More than twice a good salary for this city, and she wanted to complain? Kitty-Sue interjected quickly, speaking with Daeng.

  Kitty-Sue finished, and Daeng nodded vigorously. Kitty-Sue looked at me and said, “She thought you offered fifteen thousand a month, I told her you had offered fifty thousand.” I should have been writing to avoid miscommunication.

  “Are you happy with the Deal?” I asked again.

  “How long will the contract be?” asked Daeng.

  Contract? What contract? Ah, she was worried I would only pay the first month, get what I needed, then dump her. Her experiences with men had conditioned her to expect short-term engagements.

  “Contract,” I said. “Yes, one year.” At least I wouldn’t have to divorce her at the end of the year. “If you like the job, and you do well,” I said, “you can work longer.”

  Daeng released her grip on her purse and folded her arms. She licked her lips; there was obviously something else she wanted.

  She took off her glasses and fumbled with them in her hands for a few moments, then said, “Can I get new glasses, too? I can’t see good with these anymore.”

  I was ready to agree and seal the Deal, but had another thought. “Pe-Daeng,” I said, “I can fix your eyes better than new. No more glasses, no more blurred vision, no more problems reading. Would you like that?”

  Daeng put her glasses back on and looked at Kitty-Sue to see if she supported this outrageous notion. Kitty-Sue knew that what I was offering was worth more than two jobs and a dozen shopping trips, but she trusted me.

  “Fix my eyes with magic?” Daeng asked. At Kitty-Sue’s nod, Daeng said, “OK, you fix my eyes, give me job, buy new clothes, and I’ll take you to Chiang Rai.”

  Then she looked at John. “Sorry, boss. I quit.”

  Turning to me, she said, “When will you fix my eyes?”

  “Now is the best time,” I said. “Lean back in the couch, and I will put you to sleep to perform the operation.”

  I stood and approached Daeng. Reaching forward, I pulled her glasses from her nose. She wouldn’t need them anymore.

  Daeng leaned back but didn’t close her eyes. I used my version of a sleep spell on her, the same I had used when Monica had been my patient in Las Vegas. I made the gestures and whispered, “Sleep.”

  Daeng didn’t even blink.

  “Is her magic interfering with yours?” asked Kitty-Sue.

  “No,” I said. “It’s something else.” Then I realized the problem. “Of course! The sleep spell only works if the subject trusts me.”

  Popping up a
kitsune bubble to keep our conversation private, Kitty-Sue said, “That’s going to be tough. She doesn’t trust anyone.” Glancing at Daeng as she sat on the couch, wide awake and clutching her purse, she continued, “You know she’s got a knife or razor in that bag, right?”

  “Of course,” I said. “I would be surprised if a Bangkok bar girl didn’t have a razor in her purse.” Her profession didn’t lend itself to building trusting relationships.

  “If you do your hocus-pocus while she’s awake?” asked Kitty-Sue. “What happens? You didn’t have to put the witches you worked on in New York to sleep.”

  “Some can handle the changes,” I said, “others react badly. Usually, those who work with magic can support it. Daeng has some magic but at a very low level. Working on her eyes while she’s awake could cause pain, disorientation, and mental exhaustion.”

  “If she’s such a low-level magician, why do we need her?” asked Kitty-Sue.

  “She’s already attuned to Chiang Rai,” I said. “Even with her low power, she can help John and I attune ourselves to the new area.”

  “Low level,” mused Kitty-Sue. “Can’t you give her a boost? Make her more useful?” Then almost as an afterthought, “Make her your student, as you did with Akiko?”

  Make her a student? Why would Kitty-Sue want me to...?

  “You want her to become my student?” I asked.

  “If it helps us,” said Kitty-Sue. There was an odd look on her face, and a strange perfume in the air. Was this what kitsune jealousy smelled like?

  “And the fact I never have sex with my students doesn’t have anything to do with this request?” I said with a grin.

  Kitty-Sue sniffed derisively and turned her head away. “Oh, that’s right. You have that vow. I had completely forgotten about that.”

  Still, it wasn’t a terrible idea. I gave it some thought. Daeng already saw magic, albeit poorly. She had some talent. She could be trained. It wouldn’t be like trying to give the talent to a mundane. I’d tried that before, with disastrous results.

  “It’s not a bad idea,” I said. “I’ll make the offer.” As I turned to Daeng, Kitty-Sue dropped her bubble.