Pause

by Kylie Scott

  “Real mature, Anna. If you’d just—”

  “No. No way.”

  “You’ve changed,” he says, all thoughtful like for a moment. And whatever this change in me is, it does not please him.

  “I’d certainly hope so.” I take a deep breath. “What the hell did you think you were going to accomplish by coming here? Seriously?”

  Then he just spits it out: “Celine was a mistake.”

  “Holy shit.” My eyes feel as wide as twin moons. “Did you just call the mother of your unborn child a mistake?”

  His lips disappear into a thin pissed-off line. “You know I don’t mean it like that. But the pregnancy has made her crazy. She’s making all of these outrageous demands. This is . . . we don’t belong together, she and I. You and I, we used to be good together. She’s not like you.”

  “That’s true. I believe in pesky things like loyalty and stuff.”

  Across the street, a dude is sitting in his car watching us and fair enough. We’re quite the spectacle.

  “Please, be serious.” He reaches out to grab hold of my arm. “Anna, we need to talk.”

  “Anything you need to say to me can be said through the lawyers.”

  “Anna!”

  “And barking my name at me won’t get you shit, Ryan. Now move your hand.”

  “Just listen for a minute, would you?”

  “Get your fucking hand off of her,” growls Leif, appearing behind me. Dressed in his jogging gear, so it makes sense that Ed’s now here too and also witnessing this debacle.

  “I’ve got this,” I say, only no one’s listening.

  “This is nothing to do with you,” snarls Ryan.

  Leif steps closer. “Now I really have to fucking disagree with you there, buddy.”

  “Leif, please,” I say through gritted teeth. “I can handle this.”

  Standing tall, my moron ex’s nostrils flare and he says, “She’s my wife.”

  “What?” asks Leif, tone outraged.

  “Not even close, Ryan.” And now I’m using my pointing finger. Never a good sign. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you delusional? Did you actually just say that I’m your wife? And you had the gall to use the present tense?”

  He doesn’t respond.

  “There aren’t enough words to describe how very wrong you are right now.”

  Ryan’s furious gaze takes in Leif standing so close to my back and oh boy. The penny drops. I can see it in Ryan’s eyes the minute he realizes that Leif and I are involved. That I’ve moved on, at least sexually. An expression of hurt crosses my ex’s face for a moment, and give me a damn break. I’m not cheating. Not even remotely. But his pain morphs straight into anger, and now it’s well and truly on. Testosterone all but scents the air and oh my God.

  With a strangled sound, Ryan lets go of me and swings at Leif’s face, clipping his jaw. Leif stumbles back a step before launching himself at my ex. In the midst of all this, I’m pushed aside by said ex, but manage to land on my ass in the nice soft grass. The two grown men, however, are busy rolling around, battling it out like we’re in the damn schoolyard. Fists fly and punches land. Grunts and groans fill the air. Holy hell. This cannot be happening.

  “Are you okay?” Ed kneels at my side.

  “Yeah,” I say, my eyes itching with unshed tears. And they’re not for me and my sore ass. “Can you stop these idiots, please?”

  Before answering, he assists me in getting back on my feet. “Sure thing, Anna.”

  And he breaks up the battling duo by waiting until Ryan is on top, then hauling him up by the back of his polo. He dispenses of my raging ex by throwing him into some nearby shrubbery. A very scratchy landing. Meanwhile, to his brother he offers a hand. Leif’s eye is swollen and a dark bruise blossoms on his chin. What a mess.

  “Are you hurt?” I say, rushing to his side.

  “No. Are you?”

  I shake my head.

  Ryan pulls himself out of the shrubbery. “I’m calling the police.”

  “You fucking—” starts Leif.

  I hold up a hand. “I’ve got this. Please listen when I say that this time.”

  Leif shuts his mouth, gaze suddenly wary. The man is not stupid.

  “You’re going to call the cops about a fight you started, Ryan?” I ask, dealing with the situation as promised. “Really? How do you think that’s going to go?”

  His face is set in mulish lines, his hair ruffled, and nose dripping blood. It looks broken. The line of it wrong somehow. Can’t say he didn’t deserve that.

  “Leif was only defending himself. Not to mention, you also pushed me, Ryan,” I say. “Me. The ex-wife you just went through a pretty damn acrimonious divorce with. You made me fall. Pretty sure that counts as assault, don’t you?”

  He sets his hands on his hips, giving me a distinctly pissy expression. The nerve of this bastard.

  “Shall I press charges or are you going to stop being an idiot, peacefully leave, and promise never to return? Or would you like to end the day needing a criminal lawyer as well as a divorce lawyer?” I ask.

  Something close to panic enters his gaze. “Anna, wait, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “You never do,” I say. “And yet you still make the worst damn choices. I’m done being hurt by you. And I’m done letting you hurt the people I care about.”

  “I’m sorry.” Oh the angst. He’s giving it his all. “I just wanted to talk.”

  “Oh, Jesus. Give me strength.” I take in a deep breath. “Listen to me, Ryan. Are you listening?”

  “Yes.”

  “We are never, not in a million years, getting back together. Do you hear me? Are you taking this in?”

  He opens his mouth to speak, but I get there first.

  “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. You and everything to do with you is behind me now. I couldn’t mean it more if I tried, Ryan,” I say. “The divorce was neither a cry for help nor a plea for your attention. There are no do-overs or second chances. We’re done. Finished. Kaput. Never again do I want you to darken my doorstep. Now kindly get the fuck out of here.”

  For a moment his face blanks, incredulous. Over the message, my choice of language, or a combination of both, I don’t know. Then he about-faces and stomps off to his car. The door opens, he climbs in, then slams the door shut. The engine turns on and he drives off with the screeching of tires. Oh thank God for that.

  I slump in relief.

  “On a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you at me right now?” asks Leif in a somewhat concerned voice. Also, he’s still covered in bruises, which I hate.

  “You scared me. You could have been seriously injured.”

  “Nah,” he drawls. “By that sad sack of shit? Never. I can take him. Another minute and I’d have . . . I’m saying the wrong thing, aren’t I?”

  “Yes.” My mouth is flat and unimpressed. “Do not be a cool dude right now. My nerves are way too raw to handle it.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Do you want some ice for that shiner?” asks Ed.

  “Nah, I’ll see to it later,” says Leif.

  Ed looks back and forth between the two of us. “Well, if you two are okay, I might give you some space and head off.”

  “Yeah,” says Leif. “Thanks.”

  Ed nods and jogs off down the road. Happy to get the hell away from the couple-fight vibes we’re no doubt giving off by the bucket load.

  “Do you even know why you’re in trouble?” I ask.

  “Um. Well . . .” He gingerly touches his swollen lip and is rewarded with a wince. “You sort of said you could handle it and ah . . .”

  “Go on.”

  “I didn’t like the way he was talking to you.”

  I say nothing.

  “Hated the way he grabbed you,” he continues. “That was really way the fuck out of line.”

  I cock my head. “And yet we’re discussing your involvement in the incident, not his.”

 
“You wanted me to let you handle it and I didn’t,” he admits finally, meeting my eyes.

  “That’s right.”

  He slowly nods. “So you’re really pissed, huh?”

  “No.” I sigh. “More worried about you than angry. And don’t give me that tough-guy crap again. Violence neither impresses me nor turns me on.”

  “Got it. It’s been like a decade since I’ve been in a fistfight, honestly. Oh, no, about eight years. I forgot about that one time . . . at any rate, it’s not something I tend to go around making a habit out of,” he says. “That’s the point I’m making here.”

  “I’m very glad to hear that. This situation should never recur, but if it does, please let me decide how to handle my ex-husband in the future.” I square my shoulders. “I realize him grabbing me was a long way from okay, but I had things under control.”

  “Understood. But if it ever goes any further than that . . . I can’t stand by and let you get hurt. You understand that, right?” he asks. “I’m not trying to start anything or act like a dick, I’m just stating a fact.”

  “Yes, I understand. Though I don’t think it would ever come to that.”

  “No one does until it happens. He’s not exactly behaving in a rational manner these days, is he?”

  I blow out a breath. “No.”

  “So you’ll be careful, right?”

  “Yes.”

  He goes to smile, then stops because of his poor face. “You know, Clem goes to a self-defense class every week. She shows us some of her moves sometimes, and I bet she’d have had that jerk in line in a flash. Much better than amateur hour with me. Maybe if you were ever interested you could give it a go?”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Please do. Because the thought of him hurting you or something else happening to you and me not being there to protect you is doing my head in.”

  “Leif. I’m okay. We’re both fine . . . apart from some marks.”

  “Yeah.” He hangs his head, reaching out to take hold of one of my hands. “Are you sure you’re okay, Anna?”

  “My butt may be slightly bruised. But otherwise I’m good.”

  “You don’t want to check with a doctor just in case?”

  “Not necessary,” I say. “The ground was soft. It wasn’t much of a fall. And I’ll write down everything that happened just in case we need details in the future. Guess I should check with my lawyer to see what the protocol is for dealing with him harassing me.”

  “Very good idea. There’s also security cameras covering all around the building and the front street since Clem got attacked out here. We’ll ask for a copy of today’s events, huh?”

  “Yes. Definitely.”

  “Okay.” He wraps his arms around me, resting his forehead lightly against mine. “We’re okay.”

  “Your jaw and your eye are hurt.”

  “Eh,” he says. Such a tough guy.

  “What the hell must your brother think?”

  “That your ex-husband is a raging asshole. But then he pretty much already knew that from the last time Ryan stopped by.”

  “That’s true,” I concede.

  “Ed knows this isn’t on you. Try not to worry,” he says, escorting me up the steps and to the door.

  It’s good to get inside away from prying eyes. Even better to close the condo door behind us and lock the whole world outside. The cool calm of home is a soothing balm on my frazzled nerves.

  “We need to get some ice on your face,” I say.

  “Hold on.” He steers me toward the table. “Do me a favor and lean over.”

  “What?”

  All of a sudden he’s on his knees behind me. His hands start pushing up the skirt of my light summer dress, exposing my panties. Then my underwear is dragged halfway down my thighs exposing my ass to one and all, but mostly just to him.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Checking your butt.” Warm fingers slide over the skin there. “It’s a little-known specialty of mine. I am in fact a derriere doctor of some renown.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yeah. But the only ass I want to see is yours,” he says, with a smile in his voice. “In fact, I’m willing to make a thorough study of these babies. These pale orbs of loveliness.”

  I laugh.

  “I can see a red mark, but nothing serious. You’re good to go.” He cups his hands over my ass cheeks, giving them a pat or something. I honestly don’t know what he’s doing down there. But he certainly does seem committed to the cause.

  “Thank you for checking,” I say. On the curve of one ass cheek, he gives me a kiss. “Leif, this is very strange. What are you up to back there?”

  “We’ve now progressed to the ass-kissing apology stage of things.”

  “Ah.”

  He wraps his hands around my hips and presses his face to the small of my back. “I’m sorry you were worried. I’ll try harder to keep my temper in check when it comes to that sad sack of shit.”

  “Thank you.”

  “God knows, I’d come running back like my pants were on fire if I lost you.”

  “Well, let’s try and avoid that then,” I say. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

  “Good. It’d be very pathetic. I’m talking begging.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh, yeah. Your skin is so soft here.” He rubs his thumb over the indentations of my spine. And you smell good.”

  “It’s just lotion.”

  “Hmm.” He licks over the dimples above my ass, following it up with a nip of the teeth. Making a shiver run down my back. Next, cunning fingers are tugging my panties low enough that they go into freefall and hit the ground at my feet. “Get rid of them, Anna.”

  “My panties?”

  “Yeah.”

  I do as asked, stepping out of them and kicking them aside. For a butt-cheek health check followed by an apology, we sure are moving to the sexing stage of things pretty fast. Though considering one of us doesn’t have our pants on, it was bound to happen.

  His hand slides over my belly heading south and oh yeah. This is good. I could have sworn I wasn’t the least bit turned on two minutes ago. Tension and anger and worry had me wrapped up tight. But now I need it. I need him. To assure me everything’s okay. That we’re still together and intact after that bullshit outside.

  “Turn around,” he says, sounding impatient.

  I don’t need to be asked twice. A dining chair is dragged out of the way and the edge of my ass is set on the table. His gaze is heated and expression determined. Like getting access to me up close and personal is all that’s on his mind right now. Like being with me is all he wants and God knows I want to be with him too. He doesn’t get off his knees and my dress is soon rucked up to my waist at the front too. Then it’s all I can do to hold on as he positions my legs over his shoulder and makes merry with my girl parts.

  “Fuck,” I mutter at the first flick of his tongue against my clit. “You’re so good at this.”

  “Customer satisfaction is very important to me.”

  “As long as your client base is limited to me, that is fine and dandy.”

  He chuckles and licks over my labia. He sucks and nips and pauses every now and then to graze his stubble against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs. A flurry of kisses is placed on my mound, then he’s back at it again, fucking me with his tongue. I never know what he’s going to give me next. It makes it hella exciting. When he adds a finger to the mix, pumping it in and out of me, I can’t keep my eyelids open any longer. It’s all too much. Too good.

  Two fingers stretch me, coaxing me higher. Crude wet noises and the scent of my sex fill the air. He barely needs to rub over the back of my clit with those clever fingers and my body is already shaking. I come with very little coaxing. That spectacular high taking me over. It’s kind of embarrassing how easy I am for him. How ready to give it up I am each and every time. It’s also kind of awesome.

  “Condom,” I say
, voice weak and breathy.

  “On it.”

  After carefully untangling himself from my legs, he sprints for his bedroom. I’ve never seen a man move so fast. The hard-on tenting the front of his gray sweatpants leave very little to the imagination. It’s spectacular.

  In no time at all, he’s stripping off his tee and pushing down his pants, rolling the prophylactic over his swollen dick. His skin and his tattoos, his smile and his taste, everything about him works for me. At the sight of him, my heart feels too big for my chest. Like something’s either gone very wrong or very right in there. It’s just some mad infatuation. An all-consuming crush. And that’s okay, it’s fine, I just can’t think about it anymore right now.

  We’re both clutching at each other, mashing our mouths together for the messiest kiss in history. And it’s all so wonderful and frenzied and necessary. He slams his cock into me and oh hell yes. So good. We both moan in delight. Since I’m doing my best to cling to him like a howler monkey, he picks me up and stumble-walks us both to the nearest wall. This way we can stay smooshed together for the duration.

  “Okay?” he asks, panting.

  “Yes.”

  And no more is said. With one strong hand under my ass and the other arm wrapped around my back, he nails me into the wall. I hide my face in his neck and do my best to hold on. It’s so urgent and all consuming. The need to get as physically close to him as I possibly can. I want to slide beneath his skin and wander through his mind. Know him better than I know myself. And none of these thoughts are the least bit sensible or cautious, but I can’t help it. I’ll worry about that later. The hard length of his dick surges into me, filling me to capacity again and again. My world is the heat of his body, the scent of his skin, the feel of him surrounding me and inside of me. The way he grinds the base of his dick against my clit and brushes over something fucking fabulous inside of me. Everything is tensing once again. My tummy tightening and thighs clasped tight around his hips. It surges up my spine, lighting up my whole world as I come again. Leif grunts and shoves his cock in deep, hips surging against me as he comes too.

  Our limbs are locked around each other. Sweat and other bodily fluids on our skin. Ever so slowly and carefully, he takes us to the floor. And there we lie, sprawled out over each other.