Dead Awakenings

by Rebekah R. Ganiere

  Evaine nodded but said nothing. Abbey closed the door, and Evaine threw herself into her pillow and cried. Tears poured from her eyes. She cried for Tristan and all she had put him through, for Luca and all he was going through. She cried for the anger of this new existence she had, but hadn’t asked for and for the things it meant for her future. No kids, no grandkids, no family outside of Haven House. All those human experiences that she had so taken for granted that she could no longer have. And now she had to choose. The man she had loved for more than six years or the man she had loved for no more than six weeks. She didn’t want to choose. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she knew not choosing was tearing them all apart.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The next day Evaine felt no better. She got an Isis and started to drink it. Then she pulled out a piece of…something…and chewed on it absentmindedly. When she had shoved the last bite into her mouth she walked into the family room to sit in front of the TV.

  She flipped through the channels, not really seeing any of the shows. Footsteps came down the hall. Tristan. He had on a polo shirt with a pair of jeans and loafers. With a grin on his face he sat down next to her on the couch.

  “Hey, beautiful!” He stretched his arm out behind her head.

  “Hey, yourself. I heard you had a bit of a scuffle with Luca yesterday.”

  “Nah, I’ve had worse. You’re worth fighting for anyway.” He broadened his smile.

  Evaine groaned inwardly. She didn’t want to do this. She’d tried so many times with him already. Yet, here he was, acting like nothing had happened between them. “We have to talk.” She flipped off the television. She needed to get this over with.

  “Talk away. I’m right here.” He scooted closer.

  She felt so comfortable being with him like this, so natural. Things had never been complicated with her and Tristan. He had always known what she needed and given it to her, and she had done the same for him, mostly. They knew everything about each other, every move, every sigh. She leaned into him, wishing for a moment that things hadn’t changed.

  “We aren’t engaged anymore,” she blurted out.

  “Sure we are. I still have your ring, and you haven’t told me you don’t want to marry me, so we still are.”

  “Tristan—”

  “Do you still want to marry me?”

  “I’m not the Evaine who can marry you anymore. You’ve seen what I am.”

  “You mean a super hot chick who looks awesome in all white and can stop people from killing me with her superhero mind powers?”

  Leave it to Tristan to see it all in superhero terms. “No, I mean the dead girl who has to eat raw organs to survive and drink a supplement drink everyday to keep from drying out. Who can’t ever have kids, go in public, or have a normal life because she can’t go in the sun.”

  “Oh, that stuff. I can handle that, and I can get you all the food you need.”

  This wasn’t going well. She closed her eyes, trying to think of a way to make him understand. When she opened them again, she turned to face him. “If I get a cut or shot, or fall and break a bone, I have to eat human. You saw what happens to me when I do that. I get out of control. Just going with you to the diner had me almost attacking the people around us. I couldn’t live with myself if I—killed people to eat them. I have to stay here.”

  “You mean you have to stay with him.” Tristan removed his arm.

  She sighed. “No, I mean I have to stay here. In Haven House. It’s true, part of it is Luca. But even if Luca wasn’t here and wasn’t a part of this, I would stay. It’s where I belong now, and you can’t. You have a life.”

  Luca’s presence flowed into her before he came into the room; he stood in the hall, listening.

  “Tell me to leave, and I will. If you tell me you don’t want me here and that there’s absolutely no hope for us, then I’ll go. I’ll give all the help I can through e-mails and phone calls, but I’ll go home.”

  She opened her mouth to speak. She knew Luca wanted her to say the words, but part of her still clung to the hope that something would change. That they’d find the people responsible for this and they would reverse it and she could go back to living, maybe even with Luca.

  “I want you to stay for now. Because…I miss you. You’ve been my best friend for years. And because you’re willing to help. But we aren’t engaged.”

  “I can live with that. But when you change your mind, I still have your ring.”

  Luca walked in, sullen and aloof. “Nate’s back. He found Mac.”

  Evaine stood. There was a lot she wanted to say to him, but not with Tristan sitting there.

  Tristan stood and touched her arm. “I have to go back to the city as well. I have a bit of business I need to finish up on. I shouldn’t be gone for more than a few days.”

  Evaine nodded. It was good he was going. He needed to get on with his own life. “We can finish our discussion later.”

  “I’m coming back.” He took her hand. “I’m not leaving you again.”

  She gave Tristan a sad smile and turned to leave. She passed Luca. He grabbed her arm gently, and she looked up at him. His eyes were filled with too many emotions.

  “I love you. I want to be with you. Forever. But only if you want to be with me too. Me and only me.”

  Evaine opened her mouth to say something and then shut it again. She touched his face with her hand and then walked down the hallway.

  * * *

  “She’ll choose me in the end.” Tristan spoke with confidence. “She’ll see that I can take care of her and provide for her and give her a more normal life outside of this house. She’ll see that and she’ll choose me.”

  “I think you are mistaken,” Luca’s heart filled with sadness. Seeing her with Tristan reminded him of Mya. If he could have gotten her back, wouldn’t he have?

  “You think that whatever you have with her, whatever hold you have over her will be enough to tie her to you. But the longer I am here, the more that connection will fail. Evaine and I’ve been together since high school. I know everything about her.”

  “No.” Luca shook his head. “You knew everything about who she used to be. I know everything about who she is now.”

  “She’s still the same person deep down. She’s caring, and gentle and sweet—”

  “Which is the only reason she hasn’t let me throw you out on your ass. You heard what she said. She said she wants you here because you’re willing to help and because you’re her best friend. Nothing more.”

  Tristan clenched and unclenched his fists several times and then blew out a long, hard breath. “Evaine craves two things. Protection and stability, the two things she never had before me. The two things that I have given her, for the last six years. No offense, but your life doesn’t seem too stable to me.”

  “And that, my friend, is where I think you are mistaken. She doesn’t need anyone to protect her; she’s fully capable of protecting herself. You may have known her before, but she’s a different creature now. Everything that held her back and scared her before is coming out of her. Every time she rages, those things are set free. She’s the strongest person I’ve met. Soon she won’t fear anything. Soon she’ll be who she would have been had her mom not screwed her up.”

  Luca squared his shoulders. No. Given a choice between Evaine and Mya, he wouldn’t even hesitate. He knew who he wanted. And he was going to fight for her.

  “You think I haven’t learned anything in my time with her? You think it’s been just some chemical connection between the two of us? You have no idea. She’ll stay. And not just because of me. She’ll stay because she no longer needs your protection. Because here, she has family, a family like her. And when you think about it, really think about it, isn’t that what she’s always wanted?”

  “And if you’re wrong?”

  “Then I hope her life isn’t as hard as those who have tried and failed to do the same thing. But if I’m right, then you need to leave her alo
ne. Let her move on, and you do the same.”

  “Fair enough.”

  Rage surged in Luca as he strode down the hallway to the conference room. Every fiber of his being wanted to rip a hole into Tristan and eat out what was inside. Why had he let him in the house? What had he been thinking? Evaine would have been devastated had she killed Tristan, but, man, he sure wished he had let her. His mind flooded with the images of her covered in blood staring at him with her orange eyes begging him to take her. His stomach muscles contracted at the memory. He’d never wanted anything more in his life than to make love to her at that moment. Her kisses had mimicked the need he’d been feeling for her all along.

  He wondered for the millionth time if he should have gone through with it and taken her right there on the hospital floor. Would it have shut her away from Tristan forever, or would it have driven a wedge between them the likes of which she would never have been able to recover from? Luca pounded the cement wall with his fist.

  Luca tried to cool the rage that threatened to overpower him. He knew the human feeding was throwing him closer to that edge than he had crossed before. He had to stay in control. He’d given what was left of his heart to her, as well as other parts of himself. All he could do now was fight as hard for her as Tristan.

  * * *

  Evaine grabbed her new coat from the closet. Luca’s, though she had loved it, was a good six inches too long. She shoved a hat over her braid. She, Nate, Aron, Luca, Victor, and Jeff were heading in to talk to Mac Peters. She tried to decide if there was anything else she needed when there was a knock.

  Luca stood in the doorway. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course.” She sat on her bed tentatively. The distance between them was tangible as he sat on a chair across from her. A lot had happened in the last thirty-six hours, and they had gotten little time to speak.

  Luca leaned forward on his knees, rubbing his hands together for several minutes before speaking. “I know how it feels to still want your old life. And I was wrong to try to pressure you the other day. I don’t want you to feel you have to marry me. I won’t pressure you anymore. I’ve been possessive and overbearing, and I am sorry. In the end though, whether it’s here with me or out there with him, I want you to be happy.”

  Evaine stood, pushed him back in his chair, and sat on his lap. She wrapped his arms around her and laid her head on his shoulder. He hugged her tightly. The familiar tingle passed between them.

  “I love you.” She craned her neck so she looked up in his eyes. He was alert. “I love you, I do. I love him, but not the way I love you. I’m not going to leave with him. My home is here, with you. Forever.”

  She pulled his head down and kissed his lips softly. He turned her so she straddled him on his lap. He kissed her mouth hard, his passion threatening to overwhelm her. He pressed his fingers into her back, kneading her skin. Her desire rose and swelled inside. She needed to feel him, to feel the weight of him on top of her. Pulling his shirt out of his pants she ran her hands up his hard chest. He let out a growl of pleasure and latched his lips onto her neck sucking and nipping her skin. Ripping his shirt in two, she skimmed her hands all over him. He licked her neck, kissing a trail down to her collarbone. His hands roamed under her shirt, his fingers digging into her hips, grinding her pelvis into his. He’d just started to lift her shirt when a cough came from the doorway. Evaine whipped her head around to see Karen.

  “Nate said its time to go.” She spoke through clenched teeth. Her eyes were as vivid orange as Evaine imagined her own to be. Evaine gave her a mental shove and slammed the door in her face. Turning her attention back to Luca, she found him trying to suppress a smile. His beautiful eyes shone with brilliance.

  “We should go. We can continue this later.” He kissed her on the nose and tried to stand up. Evaine grinned at him wickedly and held him down with her mind. A smile spread across his face as she resumed kissing him. She trailed her long nails down his abdomen, making him quiver with desire. She kissed down his neck, his collarbone, to his chest. He moaned her name and grabbed her braid. She used her tongue to make large sweeping motions over his chest. A low growl rumbled out of him, and he gasped, grabbing her firmly with both hands. “Stop,” he said hoarsely. Her gaze swept over his face, his eyes smoldering with desire. “If you don’t stop now, we aren’t going to make it out of this room for the next week at minimum.”

  “Who says I want to leave this room?”

  “You did.” He rose from the chair and set her on her feet. He took off his sliced shirt. Evaine pouted but straightened her own shirt. She grabbed her coat off the bed.

  “Soon, it won’t be me telling you no anymore. Soon, you won’t be able to keep me off you.” Luca spun her around and planted his lips on hers again with a fevered desire. Her insides quivered with need. Electric sparks traveled down her spine and her knees went weak. “Remember what that feels like,” he whispered into her ear. “The next time you look at Tristan, I want you to remember what it feels like when I kiss you.” Luca left without another word. Evaine rocked in her spot and groaned, watching his firm backside leave her room.

  Luca and Evaine walked to the garage. Everyone was already loading into the SUV.

  Victor drove, Nate sat shotgun, and Evaine squished between Jeff and Luca. Aron was in the back. The drive was…interesting. Evaine and Jeff shot the breeze about what they had done at school together and what she had missed. They laughed about some of the crazier antics of different theater majors and discussed the food at various restaurants.

  “I always had a thing for you at school,” Jeff said with a smile. “No offense, dude.” He looked at Luca. Luca shrugged it off as if it was a common occurrence.

  Evaine smiled a little. “You were always very sweet. Every girl in the whole department had a thing for you. You could have had your choice of any one of them.”

  “Not any one,” he said with a hint of playfulness.

  “Enough of that,” she said. “I wasn’t available then.”

  “How about now?” Jeff teased.

  “She’s not available now, either,” Luca interjected.

  Jeff laughed. “You can’t blame a guy for trying. Even all bleached out she’s still the hottest girl I have ever seen.”

  “Yes,” Luca smiled. “She is.” He kissed the top of her head.

  Soon Luca and Victor got into a debate with Jeff as to why Halo was such a better game than Gods of War. Evaine relaxed and listened to the banter back and forth. Guys.

  * * *

  They reached Mac’s crappy, rundown apartment building nearly an hour before midnight. They parked around the corner and got out. Nate had briefed them on the plan. He and Luca would go first, followed by Victor. Evaine, Jeff, and Aron would wait in the hallway. The mailboxes of the building had label on top of label, on top of label, of names of tenants. Through the glass door of the stairwell she could see the faded, green, peeling walls. The outside door should have been locked, but the buzzer hid beneath an out of order sign, so it was ajar. Nate pushed it open with a creak, loud enough that Evaine thought might actually fall off its hinges. They took the sloping stairs up to the third floor, the wooden banister wobbling with every touch. The smell of frying grease wafted down to them.

  The third floor had four apartments. Mac’s was down on the end. Nate knocked and Evaine heard the mumble of a voice say “I didn’t do it! Go away.”

  “Macarthur Peterson, open the door, please.” Nate’s tone was pleasant but authoritative.

  “Who, who’s asking?” squeaked Mac.

  “It’s Nate and Luca.”

  There was a pause and for a moment Evaine thought he wasn’t going to open it, but she heard the security latch rattle, then the deadbolt slide back, and finally the doorknob unlock. The wood groaned open, rattling on its hinges.

  “N…Nate, Luca, what a surprise. Long time no see. How’s the House?”

  “May we come in?” Nate asked politely.

  “Uhm…not r
eally a great time right now. Everything’s a mess and I’m expecting company soon.”

  “Of course.” Nate spoke in a gracious tone. “We were in the neighborhood and we heard you were here and so we thought we would come and check on our old friend.”

  “Oh, I’m fine. Trying to go on living, you know how it is.”

  “Apparently not the way you do,” Luca said. “Have you been among the living for long now?”

  “A few years…”

  “Good, Mac, that’s good. I’m glad that you’ve been able to make a lifestyle with the living work out for you,” Nate said. “For me personally it’s just too much effort. I could never do it, but as I remember you always did want to go back.”

  “Yes…yes, that’s always been my wish,” Mac stammered. The fear wafted off him like stink on a skunk. Evaine could smell it from where she stood, out of sight.

  “Well, Mac, we really do need to speak with you. So if we could come in for just a few minutes—”

  “I’m sorry, Nate, I am, but I really have someone coming. Another time perhaps. We could get together for some coffee maybe, or something else.”

  “I’m afraid, Mac, this can’t wait,” Luca finally said. “You’ve been handing out these flyers, and we need to know why.” Luca pulled out the flyer that Tristan had given him and handed it to Mac.

  Sweat beaded around Mac’s temple and his hands began to shake. “I’ve never seen these before.” He handed the flyer back.

  “Never? Well perhaps we were mistaken then.” Nate gestured to Evaine and Jeff.

  Evaine stepped forward. “Hello, Mac. Remember me? You handed me that flyer and said that you’d heard I could make some money quick by calling the number on it. Well, I called the number, and I apparently went in for the trial, what I didn’t get, was paid.”