Biker for the Night (For The Night #6)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Did you have a pleasant evening, Sir?’ he asked as we drove off.

  ‘I’ve had better, but I’ve most definitely had worse,’ I confirmed, as I thought about Summer’s virgin for the night booking and then Yasmin Taylor’s filthy for the night one. Both at complete and opposite ends of the spectrum. I couldn’t wait to get home and shower again, to get the smell of Eve off me. There was nothing wrong with her at all, she wasn’t a vile creature like Camilla Domville, or fake and vapid like Yasmin Taylor, she was your usual run of the mill nice girl with too much money to burn who, due to her upbringing, believed she’d never be able to fulfil her biker fantasy in real life, until I pushed her in the right direction. But she wasn’t Summer. I had sex with Eve twice, and even though I’d faked coming both times, because she wasn’t my angel, I felt like I’d cheated on her, which was ridiculous. It seemed we were nothing, so why did I feel so disgusted with myself?

  Eve was somewhere in the middle of the bliss and the horror range, she was a client that I wouldn’t block and delete, though I wouldn’t necessarily look forward to my appointments with her, not like I had with Ava Renshaw, my ménage for the night client. I guessed I had some morals, I liked women who came to me out of necessity, due to inexperience or neglect. I much preferred them than the women who just wanted sex for the sake of it, especially when they were already getting it elsewhere, or at least had the means to. I pulled my phone out of my pocket again and stared at Eve’s file, amazed at the guilt that washed over me again. Summer and I weren’t anything. She hadn’t called me, I was free to do what I wanted. Except I wasn’t sure sleeping with women for money was what I wanted, not if I was going to feel so dirty every damn time. With the exception of Ava and Summer, I could honestly say that in the last two years I hadn’t enjoyed myself fully with any client.

  ‘James, did Summer say anything that morning you drove her home?’

  ‘She was … rather distressed, Sir. Very tearful, so I gave her some privacy. Other than thanking me and trying to give me some money for helping with her bags and flowers at the hotel, she didn’t say anything until I dropped her home.’

  ‘She kept her flowers?’ I thought I understood women, clearly not as well as I’d thought, if she wanted nothing to do with me, why keep them? When women were pissed off they normally binned flowers in a fit of temper.

  ‘She insisted on carrying them herself, to ensure that they weren’t damaged. I caught her smelling them and smiling. She did ask me an interesting question as I dropped her at her parents’ door.’

  ‘She did?’ I sat up a little straighter, as I tilted my head to hear him better over the purr of the engine.

  ‘She asked if I truly believed that you were a good man, that you could be taken at your word,’ he nodded. I raised my eyebrows as I waited for him to add his response.

  ‘And?’ I prompted when it wasn’t forthcoming.

  ‘Well I didn’t think my response to her needed stating, Sir.’

  ‘Consider it does need stating, James.’

  ‘I assured her that with the exception of Mr. Davenport, no one I knew rivalled you for your decency, and if you had implied that she was more to you than just a client, then you were being genuine and heartfelt. I told her that she could trust in both you and your feelings for her, without reservation, because regardless of your rather … colourful choice in career, if my youngest daughter were to bring home a man like you, I would be more than happy to give my blessing for her to continue dating you. Should I not have said anything? Have I crossed a line?’

  ‘No, James, as ever you always know the right thing to say and I can’t begin to thank you for your faith in me.’

  ‘I’ve grown very fond of you, Sir.’

  ‘As have I, of you.’

  ‘You’ve no idea what that means to me, Sir.’

  ‘Nor to me, James, you’re a very special man. I’m a little concerned that we’re starting to sound rather gay though.’

  ‘We are rather,’ James chuckled. I waited a while, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer to the next question in my mind.

  ‘Did she say anything in return to you?’ I asked eventually.

  ‘Just that it was nice to have her feelings reaffirmed by someone who knew you better than she did. She seemed a lot brighter as she said goodbye and closed the door.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I replied, as I rubbed my hands over my eyes. I just didn’t get it. All the signs said that she was upset that we’d decided not to take our sexual relationship further, that she really did feel something for me, something more than friendship, that she believed what I was telling her, that she was more to me than one of my clients. So why hadn’t she contacted me? Even if she’d lost my number, she had my email address. I’d been prepared to cancel all bookings for her, even if we were only going to be friends, for however long it would have taken for her to finally trust me, which for a sexual guy like me was one hell of a big deal. The minute I thought I’d lost her, I’d tried to revert back to being emotionally detached, going back to my life as it was before I met her, but Summer had opened the sluice gates and now my emotions were flowing freely, I couldn’t seem to turn them off. I punched the back of the passenger seat in frustration, forgetting I’d already fucked up my knuckles yesterday and grimaced at the sting of the leather sticking to my still raw flesh. James said nothing, just kept his eyes on the road ahead. He knew when he could push me for answers and he knew now wasn’t the time.

  I leaned back in the seat, tipping my head back onto the headrest as I closed my eyes. I was screwed. I wasn’t going to get over Summer quickly, I knew that, but if sleeping with clients and faking coming was going to make me feel like this, it seemed fucking her out of my system wasn’t going to work either. I may have lost her, but maybe she was my wake up call. She’d been sent as a reminder of what life could be like, how being with someone I really cared for could feel. I’d been young and impressionable when I got into this business, I was only twenty-four at the time and the lifestyle and money spun my head, at the time it was more important than settling down and going steady.

  I really believe if I hadn’t met Summer I’d have happily carried on for years, oblivious that maybe I’d want something more, but I had. I had to accept that she’d changed me, she’d made me focus on what was important in life. Maybe taking a break from this gig would do me good. Trey could look after my client bank, I trusted him. The deal we’d agreed when I transferred over some of my excess clients, when applied to all my current ones, would ensure my savings were substantially topped up for the foreseeable future. I had my personal training business I ran from my basement, which gave me an above average income. I had no debts of any kind, my apartment, a sexy sports car, my motorbike and all the clothes and watches I’d ever need. I also knew that I could go and work at Davenport Technologies if ever I was really struggling, he’d nagged me often enough and said the door was always open. I let out a large sigh.

  ‘You would tell me if there was anything I could do, wouldn’t you, Sir?’

  ‘Actually, there may be,’ I nodded, as I opened my eyes. ‘How would you feel if Trey Douglas was to require your services?’

  ‘I’m not sure I’d have time to fit him in, between you, Mr. Davenport and the old ball and chain, demanding so much of my time, much as I’d love to.’

  ‘Actually much as I hate to do this to you, I was thinking I wouldn’t need your services on such a regular basis anymore.’

  ‘You’re cutting back on your appointments?’ he lifted his eyes to look at me in the mirror for confirmation.

  ‘I’m thinking of stopping my appointments, giving it up and focussing on my day job,’ I shrugged.

  ‘For Miss Beresford?’

  ‘No,’ I shot back. ‘It seems no matter how honest I was with her, how well you sang my praises, or how much it hurts me to admit it, she’ll never see me as anything but an escort, James. I think I need to do it for me. She’s just made me realise that there’s more to
life than making money this way. I need a change, I need to change.’

  ‘Please tell me that you’ll ring her and tell her this excellent news?’

  ‘You’re not mad with me?’ I asked, surprised.

  ‘Of course not, Sir. I’ll miss our weekly banter, I think of you as a friend, but you have to do what’s right for you and quite frankly I’m amazed you didn’t come to this realisation sooner. Please don’t be concerned on my account. I already told you that Mr. Davenport pays me a ridiculous wage and he’s hardly ever in London to take advantage of my services. I could retire tomorrow and live quite comfortably, I do this because I enjoy it.’

  ‘You have no idea what a relief that is to hear, James. Though I promise I’ll still use you for special occasions, you won’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll keep in touch.’

  ‘I’m very pleased to hear it, Sir. Maybe sleep on it and if you still feel the same way in the morning, you could give Mr. Douglas my phone number, after you ring Miss Beresford tonight of course.’

  ‘I won’t ring her,’ I sighed as I shoved a hand through my hair. ‘She deserves someone better than me and look at what’s happened to her this week. Her career’s taking off, she’ll be too busy to think about having a boyfriend, especially not one with my rather sordid history. She won’t be lacking for money or offers from men, she doesn’t need me complicating her life.’

  ‘Excuse me for saying so, Sir, but as it seems I’ve unofficially been fired I’m going to speak my mind. You’re an arse sometimes, a stupid bloody arse.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ I looked at him startled.

  ‘The woman is infatuated with you, I can see it, yet you seem blind to the fact. A woman doesn’t get emotional over a man she doesn’t care about, she doesn’t cherish flowers he sent, she doesn’t go all googly eyed and blush every time he looks at her. You are Logan Steele. You make things happen. Your job is to know everything there is to know about your date, to make her the happiest woman alive for that one night, yet you seem determined to ignore those skills you’ve perfected with the one woman you actually want to make happy for real. Women need to be pursued, wooed and made to feel like they are safe in your charge, that you’ll put their needs first, that you’ll go to the ends of the earth for them. You do it for your clients, yet with Miss Beresford you’re turning the tables, expecting her to chase you. Would Logan Steele let a woman he liked be in control of moving things forward? No. He’d be the one calling the shots, not leaving his number hoping she’d ring him the next day.’

  ‘Are you quite done?’ I snapped. ‘You seem to have overlooked one key bloody fact, James. I’m not Logan damn Steele. He’s the mask I wear, the superhero suit I don for my job. He doesn’t come into play in my personal life and definitely not with her.’

  ‘No, I’m not done. You’re the one overlooking the fact that you are Logan Steele. Maybe not in name, but deep down you’re one and the same. I think with her you’ve tried so hard to be different, that sometimes you forget that you’re a dominant man. A dominant man doesn’t sit back waiting to be called. He pursues, relentlessly, until he gets what he wants. Logan Steele wouldn’t quit, he wouldn’t give up on Miss Beresford just because his pride was wounded. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Now pick up your damn personal phone out of the side pocket and ring her. Tell her you made a mistake, that you’re packing it in and you want to take her on a date and do it now. Don’t make me pull over and kick your scrawny bloody arse,’ he bellowed. I looked at him stunned. I’d never heard him be anything but calm, controlled and respectful and he rarely swore. Part of me was furious at the way he’d called me out, but he had a point, even with Lucy, my ex, I was the one in charge. I called the shots. I huffed out a surprised breath. He was right. Logan wasn’t a complete act. I was organised, methodical and dominant too. I needed to set aside my indignation that she hadn’t called and pursue her doggedly, until I got what I wanted. And I wanted Summer damn Beresford like I’d never wanted anything in my life.

  ‘My arse is not scrawny,’ I retorted, as I burst out laughing. ‘James, you really are one amazing man.’

  ‘Well Mrs. Smith would whole heartedly agree, Sir,’ he grinned. ‘But I’d better make you aware that I’ve activated the child locks, so until you make that call you’re going nowhere.’

  ‘I really appreciate the arse kicking, James, on my perfectly formed, muscular and sexy arse. It was needed and it’s done the trick, but I’m going to have to ask you to place some faith in me, to trust that I’ll do it. I don’t want to have quite possibly the most important call of my life while you’re listening in, it’s something that I’d like to do alone. I plan. Logan Steele plans. I need to plan what I’m going to say if I’m not going to fuck this up again.’

  ‘Very well, but if I find out that you haven’t made that call at some point before the day is over, I shall call her myself to tell her that you’re an idiot and she needs to steer clear. Sir.’

  ‘And where would you get her number?’ I laughed.

  ‘You’re not the only one with connections and Ian Smith owes me a rather large favour, which I’ll be calling in tomorrow, so I can check on your phone logs if I have to.’

  ‘You wouldn’t dare!’ I gasped.’

  ‘He who dares, wins.’

  ‘That’s outrageous, James. Besides, “He who dares, wins” is the motto of the SAS, you were a Royal Marine. Yours is “Per mare, per terram.” By sea, by land.’

  ‘So, you’re really not as stupid as I’d recently been led to believe,’ James grinned. ‘Anyway, mottos aside, just remember that I can see if you’ve made that call. Logan Steele isn’t the only sneaky covert operative with an IT hacking expert on the side. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.’

  ‘You are one funny man,’ I replied with a shake of my head. I picked up my phone and sent a message to Trey, asking if he was free to meet me this evening for drinks to discuss taking over my entire client bank, before I changed my mind. I opened Eve’s file and typed in a single word. Transfer. A word that I needed to write on every single current and pending client, except for Summer of course. I immediately deleted her file again, I didn’t need it anymore. I’d memorised everything about her. Besides she was no longer a client, she’d never really been a client in my eyes. She was more, so much more. I couldn’t believe that just sending that one text to Trey had me feeling as if some of the weight on my shoulders had been lifted. Even forgetting about the situation with Summer, taking that completely out of the equation, was I really doing this? It was a major change to my life, no more all-nighters, no more sex because I was obliged to, no more faking it and finally having my weekends back. All of that suddenly sounded rather appealing.

  But what really made me smile, was best of all I could be me again, the real me.

  Shine a Light

  Logan

  I waved James off, headed in and grabbed myself a glass of water and lime, planning on drinking it then heading for a shower, to try and figure out a plan of action with Summer, but was halted in my tracks when I felt my work phone vibrate in my pocket. I nearly dropped the glass when I saw who the email message was from. It was her. I quickly put the phone on the granite surface of my kitchen island and pushed it away from me, as my chest started to heave with the increase in my breathing. A week, a whole week and she hadn’t contacted me on my personal phone. Now she was emailing me on my damn work one? Just as I was about to get personal with her? What the hell? I wasn’t good enough to date, but she was prepared to book me to fuck her again? So, she really just saw me as an escort, after everything I’d said or done to try to show her I could be more? I turned around and hurled my glass against the wall in fury. If she thought I’d even consider fucking her for cash again she really had me wrong, or maybe I had her wrong. Maybe in seducing Summer I’d woken another Camilla or Yasmin, a sex addict who just wanted to use me. Fuck that.

  I went to cool down in the shower, scrubbing myself so hard I nearly e
xfoliated the top layer of my skin off as I seethed. I cursed when I cut myself shaving, my hands shaking with the anger flowing through my veins. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to clear up the fragments of glass off the floor, cutting my finger as well in the process. Damn it. I’d just sorted my life out, I was going to pursue her as a man with no dubious profession hampering him and now this? I circled the island with an eye on my phone again and again, like a restless tiger, trying to decide whether it should go the way of the glass, or if I should actually read what excuse she’d come up with to book me, to fuck me, but not be with me. The more I thought about it, the more thoughts of our last night together kept coming back to me, her blushes of embarrassment, the adoring looks, how she’d said she was falling for me too. I’d believed her, really believed her. What if she was genuine and she was just scared, like Eve had been, like I’d been? Maybe she did want me, but was too ashamed of what her family would think if my past came out. I took a deep breath, snatched the phone off the island and opened her message. I had to know, one way or another.

  I had to know.

  Logan, don’t worry, I won’t email you again, it’s the last time you’ll hear from me. Consider this a last ditch attempt to contact you to try and understand why you’d do this to me? You seemed so sincere last week, as sincere as I was, was it all some sort of game to you? I just don’t understand why after all that you’d give me a fake number? I’ve always prided myself on being a good judge of character and you’ve blown that to hell if you’re playing with me. If it makes you feel even better, if you’re really that twisted, I only waited ten minutes to ring you after James dropped me home. That’s how hard I’d fallen for you. You’ve no idea how hurt I was to find your number wasn’t valid. I kept trying it again and again, and it’s taken me all week to pluck up the courage to email you to risk being rejected, yet again. Did I really get it so wrong? Part of me just refuses to believe that I did. It tells me that you were being sincere, but for some reason you changed your mind and disconnected your number to avoid dealing with me. See, I’m pathetic! I’m clutching at straws because I can’t stop thinking about you Logan Steele. If there’s a genuine reason, if this has all been some huge misunderstanding then I’m prepared to listen, but it’s going to take a lot of effort on your part to build up my trust again. If I don’t hear from you, then I guess I’ll have to face facts that I was just one in a long line of fallen angels. Summer