Sighing, I shift Rose into the crook of my arm. “I know. It’s only just happened, though. It’s too hard to predict what’ll happen going forward.” I smooth some hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “I won’t stop him from seeing Rose, but if he wants to see her, we’re going to have to talk and straighten a few things out first, I guess.” The thought of doing that has me feeling a little terrified.
She laughs. “You can say that again. Anyway, I gotta run. I’m kinda supposed to be working right now. I’ll give you a call later. Let me know if there’s an update.”
I laugh dryly—an update on all the new crazy that’s taken over my life in the past twenty-four hours. “Right. Will do.”
We hang up, and I go change Rose before putting her down for a nap. I’m walking down the hallway when I see a groggy Seb emerge, wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt he left here some nights ago. The bridge of his nose and underneath his eye colored a nasty shade of purple and red. I almost feel guilty, thinking about how hot he looks with the battle wounds. And the fact that he got them for me, for defending me, only makes them all the more sexier.
“Hey,” he croaks, voice husky with sleep.
I walk down the hallway to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my chin on his chest as I look up at him. “Hi, she just fell asleep. Speaking of, you look tired, why don’t you go back to bed for a little longer?”
He kisses my forehead before gently unwrapping my arms from around him and moving back into the room, talking as he goes. “Need a shower. I gotta head home in a little while. I have a shift this afternoon.”
I tell myself not to feel disappointed, but it doesn’t really work. I can’t help but feel a little bit unsettled by his reaction to Zeke’s return. I have no idea what I thought might happen if this day ever came; it’s something that barely even crossed my mind. But I know I can’t expect him to be happy about it. Hell, I don’t think that I’m even happy about it, but he seems to be struggling with it way more than I am.
Hopefully, with time, he’ll realize there’s nothing for him to worry about.
“Okay,” I say. “Coffee?”
He glances at me briefly over his shoulder as he’s heading into the en suite. “Sure, thanks.” The door closes, and I hear the shower start. And I just stand here, wondering why he’s not all over me while I’ve got a sleeping baby.
After the coffee is made, I take a seat at the counter and scroll mindlessly through my phone. It suddenly buzzes in my hand as a text comes through.
Zeke: We need to talk, Liv.
I stare at it for a minute, feeling Seb come up behind me and brush the hair back from my neck. Just as his lips start to skim the skin there, he rears back. “Is this the first time he’s sent you a text?”
My head snaps in his direction. “Yes, I would tell you if he had before now. He literally just sent it before you walked out.” I look back at the offending message. “I just don’t know what to do. What to even say …” I sigh.
He takes a seat beside me, bringing his coffee to his mouth and taking a few sips before speaking again.
“It’s up to you, Liv,” he says more to the mug than to me.
Okay, then. I exit out of the text, deciding to let it sit for a while until I can properly wrap my head around this situation and decide how to handle it. And I can’t do that with Seb’s clear unease and agitation filling every air particle in the room.
“This is … Well, it’s hard for me, and not just because he’s back. But more so because of how each decision I make might affect you. I don’t want you to worry about where my heart lies. You should already know the answer to that. But if he needs to talk—whether it be about him and me or just Rose—then I need to do that. I don’t want to do that, but I need you to trust me.” I look at him while he stares down into his mug.
“He wants you, Liv.” He finally turns that dark gaze to me. “You can’t tell me you don’t already know that?”
I did, sort of. I shrug. “What he wants and what he gets are two completely different things, Seb.” I arch a brow at him. I might be wrong, but he doesn’t seem to completely trust that Zeke won’t end up getting what he wants.
He nods and goes back to drinking his coffee.
God, what a mess.
A small part of me is glad that he came back because I honestly didn’t think he would. And that’s the part that cares a little more than it should. But I’m also glad for Rose. After not knowing a thing about my own biological father, I don’t want the same for her if I can avoid it. The other part of me, though? The bigger part that belongs wholeheartedly to the man seated next to me? Well, that part wants him to turn around and march his ass straight back out of town and save us all the trouble of uprooting our lives again.
We finish our coffee in silence. Both clearly lost in our own thoughts that revolve around the same hazel-eyed man.
I decide to try to change the subject. “Are your parents coming to visit for Easter?” I can’t believe Easter is almost here. A first for Rose, even if she can’t eat chocolate yet. I’ll gladly eat hers for her. I need all the chocolate right now.
He shakes his head, placing his mug down. “Sienna and Dan are due to have the baby soon, so they want to stay close, just in case.”
Oh, in all the chaos, I completely forgot they were having their baby soon.
“Are you going home to see them, then?” I ask hesitantly, not sure why I feel uncomfortable all of a sudden.
“Yeah, actually, they were asking if you and Ro—” He’s cut off by my phone ringing. We both just stare at it like it’s a bomb about to explode as we see Zeke’s name lighting up the screen. Seb clears his throat and stands to take our mugs to the sink, rinsing them out before coming back over to me.
“You’re right. You’re going to have to talk to him eventually. I need to get going anyway.” He gently grasps my chin, tipping my lips up to his. “I love you.” He stares straight into my eyes before claiming my mouth in a heated but all too short kiss that leaves me panting even after the door closes softly behind him.
I stare down at the last place he was standing for who knows how long, trying to slow my blurring thought process enough to make a coherent decision on what to do next. My phone ringing again makes up my mind for me; I slide my finger across the screen to accept the incoming call.
“Hello?”
“Liv,” he breathes
Shit. My stomach starts turning viciously at the sound of his voice.
“Why didn’t you answer the first time?” He pauses for a second. “Doesn’t matter. Look, we need to talk. Can I come see you?” he asks softly. The tone of his voice right now would usually have me caving to just about anything he asked of me. Not anymore—though I can’t deny the way my heart is skipping beats at the sound of it.
I sigh. “Zeke …”
“Please, Liv. I … God, I have so much to make up for. So much I need to say.”
“Not here,” I reply.
“Okay, fair enough. Name the place and time. I’ll be there.”
I must admit I kind of like the way he’s ready to fold to my every whim for a change. But not enough to encourage something I don’t want anymore.
“This had better be good, Zeke. I’m warning you, don’t try anything. You met Seb yesterday—and thanks for that, by the way. You can’t just come barreling back into my life like a god damn wrecking ball.” I take a deep breath and finish, “As you saw for yourself, a lot has changed.”
I hear him laugh dryly into my ear. “You can bet your fine ass it has.” He sighs. “Sorry. Okay, I’ll be on my best behavior. I just want to talk.”
I don’t believe him. But I can’t exactly put this in the too hard basket—as much as I want to—we’re going to have to do this at some point.
“Liv?” he prompts when I remain silent.
“The pond by the park in the town square tomorrow. I’ll text you once I know what time.” I hang up and drop the phone on the c
ounter like it’s burned my hand. It may as well have, considering how fast my heart is racing right now. I drop my head into my palms and concentrate on breathing.
This is crazy. How can the man who abandoned us sound like the same man that I once fell in love with?
I don’t know. And I don’t like it. I don’t like anything about this whole messed-up situation. Nor do I like the feeling of my gut churning this badly and what that might mean.
Throwing my gym bag over my shoulder, I slam the locker with a force that reverberates through my tense body. Clutching the back of my neck, I squeeze my eyes shut. My mind quiets, which only makes the sound of my ears ringing turn painful with its intensity.
Drawing in a deep breath and letting it loose, I open my eyes to find some scrawny guy staring quizzically at me.
“What the fuck are you lookin’ at, kid?” Anger laces my voice as I pull my bag further up on my shoulder.
Averting his eyes to the ground, he speaks quietly, “Nuffin’, man. You scared the crap out of me with slamming that locker.” He shrugs. “That’s all.”
My shoulders slouch. Feeling like a dick, I raise my hand in silent apology. “Sorry, dude. One of those days, I guess.”
Shaking his head, he lets out a nervous laugh and waves me off.
Turning on my heel, I decide to get the fuck out of here before I lose my damn mind. Which is something I fear I’m coming closer to with every day that passes. These waves of unpredictability and uncertainty are fucking with everything I dared to even imagine having with Liv.
Usually, a gym session is all I need to calm my racing mind. “Hit it out” is what Dad used to tell me to do. Whether I was going through the motions of teenage heartbreak, puberty, or just plain angry with the world, Dad would simply send me out to the shed. I guess he thought that taking my frustrations out on a punching bag would help. And he was right in thinking that because it did. Back then, anyway.
But I’m not a fucking teenager anymore; I’m a man who could potentially lose the only thing that means something to him and lose it to a man who doesn’t even have the balls to stand up and face the consequences of his own misdemeanors or indiscretions. He just shows up out of nowhere like it’s his damn right to be here. No doubt, a man like Zeke was tapping every second woman he came across while he was away from Liv. Dickhead doesn’t know how good he had it—too bad his time was up almost a year ago. I just hope to God that Liv feels the same way I do.
Exiting the front doors, I swing my bag around to grab my keys. Once I locate them, I look up to see Beau walking in my direction, his bag hanging heavy over his shoulder and sunglasses atop of his head. Great.
“Hey, man. How you doin’?” he asks as he approaches. A frown pulls at his brows as he stops in the middle of the parking lot. I stop and shove my hands into the pockets of my shorts.
“Yeah, fucking splendid. You?” I grind out the words, sounding more animal than human.
“Sarcasm, the greatest coping mechanism since nineteen sixteen.” He laughs as if it’s a fucking joke.
I shrug my shoulders. “Better than beating the shit out of someone.”
“Ahh, think you already did that. Well played, by the way. Makes two of us now.” He chuckles. “He’s gonna be sore for a while.”
My eyes widen in disbelief. The fuck?
“What the fuck? What happened there? He’s your best friend, so surely, there’s some kind of code? You know bros before hoes and all that shit?”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t help it. And I only got the one hit in. Figured it was enough to let him know how much of a fucking dick I think he’s been. I don’t for one second think he deserves Liv or Rose. He’s done his dash; he deserves to wallow in shame and self-pity until the day comes when he can man the fuck up and be a decent dad to Rose.”
My shoulders relax at the end of his little rant. He may not be completely on my side, but he respects Liv’s decision to move on.
“That’s the problem; I don’t trust that he won’t worm his way back into her life. I know Rose needs her dad, but damn, I’m all she knows right now in that regard. Call me a selfish fuck, but I don’t particularly wanna share.” I let out a sigh. “I worry about the stress all this is going to put on Liv, too.” A hand comes loose from my pocket, diving into my hair as my fingers tug at it. “He … shit …” I pause and take a deep breath. “Zeke wants her back. He made his intentions pretty damn clear. And I’m the one thing standing in his way.”
Feeling my blood pressure rise, I barely resist the urge to start pacing back and forth as my fingers grip my hair even tighter.
Beau’s hand slaps my shoulder, and I glance over at him, my brows rising. “Chill, man, I gotcha. He won’t get your girl. Try as he might, she loves you—not him.” His expression is resolute, but I can see the pity carefully veiled behind his gaze. I don’t need his fucking pity. I’m doing enough of that shit on my own. I don’t need someone else chiming in on it, too.
“I know. I guess we’ll see what he’s got up his sleeve.” I bend down to pick up my bag.
He claps me on the back. “Keep your eye on the prize, and it’ll work out. I’ll see ya ‘round man,” he says before turning to walk toward the gym.
Digging my keys out of my pocket, I hit the key fob as I approach the driver’s side of my truck. Opening the door, I toss my bag to the passenger seat, and the contents spew across the floor. I forgot to zip it completely when I got my keys out earlier. Awesome.
Driving toward the outskirts of town and feeling thankful that I showered at the gym, I head to the one place that will give me a fraction of solitude from dwelling on this shitstorm of recent days. I pull into the familiar parking lot of St. Margaret’s Hospital.
Work will at least keep my mind occupied for the night. I fucking hope so anyway. Leaving Liv today when she received a call from Zeke wasn’t my finest moment, but a guy can only handle so much when someone else tries to piss on his territory right before his eyes. She, too, needs to understand that I have limits and her talking to him for whatever reason right now, especially in front of me, is only going to result in sour feelings for both of us. At least until I can figure out how to handle this shit.
So I chose to leave before it became any more of an issue than it already was. It’s better that way. She doesn’t need to see this insecure version of me, but she’s gotta already know that I’m pretty much feeling knocked on my ass by all this.
Shutting off the ignition, I lean over the back seat to grab my work bag, and just as I grab it, I hear a light tapping sound that has me turning back around. I find Millie standing outside my window with a tentative smile on her face as she waves at me.
Fuck. I open my door only to have her pull it open all the way, too impatient with my snail’s pace.
“Hey,” she says in a sullen, wary voice, which is unlike her usual quirky self.
Keys and bag in hand, I get out of my truck and lock it.
“Hey, Mil.”
Her blue eyes study me for a beat. “That bad, huh?” She winces a little. “Shit, I’m sorry, Seb. You and Liv don’t deserve this crap. I don’t know what he’s trying to pull by coming back after all this time, but it can’t be good.”
I nod, feeling my tense shoulders slump. “Yeah, I know.”
“Hey, just … hang in there.” She tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
I nod and give her a forced smile in return, unable to tell her how I really feel about the whole situation. “You just starting or finishing for the day?”
“Just finished. Thank God, too, because I need sleep. I feel like a zombie,” she says, sounding exhausted. I know the feeling all too well.
With neither of us really knowing what else to say, there’s an awkward silence for a few moments until she waves me off and walks slowly to her car.
“Drive safe, Mil,” I call out to her.
She flicks her hand up in response.
My phone buzzes in my bag, and I quickly pull it
out.
Liv: Hey, Handsome ;)
I smirk and tap out a response.
Me: Hey, Beautiful x
Liv: We miss you …
I sigh, not knowing how I can ever be apart from her, but not knowing how to handle all this either. I tap out my truth anyway …
Me: I miss you every second you’re out of my sight. How’s our girl?
Liv: :D Good, almost asleep. I’m sitting on the floor next to her crib in the dark like a noob. I’ve been waiting for her to settle, but she’s not letting me leave tonight even if she can’t really see me.
I laugh at that. That baby girl sure can play you whenever she damn well feels like it, too.
Me: You’re both adorable. Give her a kiss from me and go chill out with your new book.
Liv: Oh, you know I will be. Call me on your break? Need to talk to you about something.
I look at the time, realizing I’m almost late and knowing I won’t get a break until at least eleven p.m. tonight.
Seb: Can it wait? It might be late …
Liv: Not really, and it’s okay. I’ll wait up.
Thoughts and worries start to tangle together in my mind as I wonder what she needs to talk about.
Me: Okay, sure. Everything ok?
I start walking toward the hospital entrance.
Liv: I think so, or well, I hope so …
Okay, vague as fuck. But it’ll have to wait, or I’m gonna be late.
Me: Hmm. Well, I gotta go into work now. But whatever it is, don’t stress. Love you.
Liv: It’s not just me I’m worried about. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you, too. xx
I suspected, but now, I know exactly who this conversation is going to be about. Sighing, I tuck my phone away as I walk into the hospital, welcoming the sterile smell as it seeps into my senses and fogs over my anxiety-ridden thoughts.
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