by Helen Lacey
Cassie stared at Ruthie. “What? I don’t understand what you—”
The older woman sighed crossly. “No, I guess you don’t. Well, it’s high time you learned exactly what kind of man Tanner McCord is.”
“I know what he is,” she said dully. “But I also know he kept the truth from me. He lied by omission.”
“Yes,” Ruthie said tersely. “He did. And he shouldn’t have. He should have told you what a no-good lout Doug McCord was from the very beginning. But he’s too decent, too honorable to dishonor his brother that way.”
“That’s no excuse. He was wrong. And he wouldn’t admit it. He wouldn’t stop being arrogant and bullheaded and thinking he knew what was best for me. And in the end it didn’t matter what was in the letter Doug wrote because there was an insurance policy that—”
“Nonsense,” Ruthie said and waved her hands. “There was no insurance. No anything. Doug made sure of that. All he left was a pile of debt and a child he had no intention of claiming.” The older woman sat down. “You’re not that naive. In your heart you know everything you found out about Doug is true. The lies, the betrayal and the way he stole Tanner’s inheritance and frittered it away. And then the terrible way he treated Leah.”
Cassie clutched her sides. “I know that. I know Doug wasn’t perfect. But what does that have to do with this house. Tanner said there was an insurance policy and I—”
“He took out a second mortgage on his ranch,” Ruthie said, cutting her off. “And that’s how you got to keep this house.”
Silence consumed the room. Cassie dropped into the chair by the window. It couldn’t be true. He wouldn’t do that. It was impossible. Tears grew hot behind her eyes and she met the other woman’s gaze. “But...I don’t understand. Why would he do that?”
Ruthie shook her head with clear exasperation. “Because, you foolish girl, he loves you.”
Cassie swallowed the lump in her throat. It was too much. Too hard to grasp.
He loves you...
“I don’t think—”
“And he loves your baby,” Ruthie added. “Frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man as much in love as Tanner is with both of you.”
Cassie was too stunned to move as she tried to absorb what she’d just learned. “But...he never said... He never said he felt that way. When he proposed he talked about Oliver and how we were good together, how we made sense. But there was no mention of him being...of feeling...of loving me. Why wouldn’t he—”
“Lay his heart on the line?” Ruthie inquired, eyes wide. “Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps it had something to do with you being in love with his brother?”
“But I’m not,” she insisted hotly and got to her feet. “I don’t feel that way about Doug...not anymore. And I don’t think I ever really did. I cared about him and loved him in a way. But not like I love...”
She stopped, feeling Ruthie’s questioning glance down to the soles of her feet.
“Go on,” Ruthie prompted. “Say it.”
Cassie took a deep breath and sighed. “Not like I love Tanner.”
Ruthie smiled. “Well, good for you. And now that’s out in the open, what are you going to do about it?”
*
Cassie was still thinking about the other woman’s words long after she’d left.
He loves you...
Did he? Had she been so foolish? So blind? He’d never mentioned love. He cared, that’s what he said. They were good together, in bed and out of it. They could give Oliver a home...a family.
Love hadn’t rated a mention.
If it had...
Would she have responded differently? Would she have found it in her heart to forgive him?
So, Doug gets a free pass and I don’t...
There was anger in his voice when he’d said the words. And regret. And pain.
And still she hadn’t budged. She’d remained stubborn and resolute. Determined to think the worst. To blame him. To make him suffer. For what? Doug’s sins? If so, what did that make her? A scared, confused little girl who’d been duped and wanted to lash out at the one person she’d subconsciously believed would take it and not bail on her? Would not leave her? Would not abandon her?
The realization hit home with the force of a sledgehammer.
Doug’s letter was exactly the excuse she’d needed to push Tanner away.
The intensity of her feelings for him had terrified her and once she’d been dealt an out clause she’d grabbed it with both hands. Like a coward. Like the girl who’d never had to stand on her own two feet.
But she wasn’t that girl anymore. She was a woman. And it was about time she started acting like one. She took a breath, grabbed the letter Ruthie had given her and opened it. Tanner’s neat handwriting jumped out and she shuddered with emotion as she started reading.
Dear Oliver,
I’m not sure how old you’ll be when you read this. Hopefully old enough to understand what I’m saying. I just wanted you to know about your dad. He was a lot older than me so we didn’t spend much time together when I was young. But he was always there, always happy to play games and be a great big brother. He had his faults but he was a brave soldier and gave his life for his country. I want you to know that if he were here he’d teach you all the things our father taught us...like how to ride a horse and fix a fence. And how to be honest and honorable and try to always do what’s right, even if you know someone might get hurt.
It’s not easy growing up without your dad around. I know because I lost my dad, too, when I was young. But just know that if your dad had been here he would be very proud that you’re his son. I can’t promise I’ll always be around for you, but if you ever need me you can trust that I will be there. I’ll be here for you to talk to, to ask questions or simply to listen.
Being around you and your mom reminded me what it was like to be part of a family and I love you both more than I can say.
Tanner
Cassie clutched the letter, tears streaming down her face. And she knew, for the first time in her life, what she wanted. And who. She grabbed the telephone and called Ruthie. A few minutes later she had the details she needed. She checked the clock. It was late in South Dakota. But not too late. Once she dialed it took several seconds and then a deep, unfamiliar voice answered.
“Hi,” she said and drew in a breath, feeling stronger than she had in a long time. In forever. “My name is Cassie Duncan. And I need your help.”
*
Tanner stretched out his shoulders and gripped the saddle in his hands. He was tired. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept through the night.
Liar...
The last time he’d slept more than four hours had been when he’d had Cassie’s arms wrapped around him. They’d made love and afterward he’d fallen asleep with her curled up against his chest. He missed making love with her. He missed her so much he ached all over. And he missed Oliver.
But he was right to leave.
He wasn’t going to beg for her and act like a fool any more than he already had. He had his fair share of pride and she’d battered his ego with a shovel. She couldn’t forgive him. And she didn’t care enough to try. Besides, she’d made it abundantly clear that her feelings were still with his brother.
I loved him. I had his child. I cried and grieved when he died.
“Everything all right?”
Grady Parker’s voice thrust him back into the present. His best friend was looking at him, one brow up. “Sure,” he said and rested the saddle. “Fine.”
He’d been at his friend’s ranch most of the morning, cutting out the older calves from a large herd of Charolais cattle while Grady and his foreman took some of the steers to market.
“Any chance you can ride down to the pasture behind Flat Rock and check out the mustangs? They’ve been down by the watering hole most of the week, but I’m pretty sure there’s a roan filly that’s lame. Might be worth you looking at her before I call the vet out.”
/> Flat Rock was a thirty-minute ride, but still part of Grady’s land. The Parker ranch was one of the biggest and oldest in the county and butted his place along the edge of the creek. Tanner didn’t really feel like a one-hour round-trip but knew his friend was right. And the filly needed to be looked at.
“Yeah, no problem.”
Grady nodded. “Great. I gotta head into town for an errand so if I’m not back just leave Solo in the corral.”
Solo was Grady’s mild-tempered paint gelding. A horse that Tanner had broken in a few years earlier and had been riding that morning. “Okay.”
His friend moved to leave, then hesitated for a moment. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve only been riding again for a couple of weeks. If it’s too much I can—”
“Stop worrying like an old woman, will you?” he said and tucked the saddle on his hip. “I’m fine. The leg’s not giving me much trouble and I’m good to ride.”
Grady lingered for a second and then shrugged. “Okay. I’m taking the girls with me,” he said about his three young daughters. “And thanks for your help today.”
Tanner waved the other man off and grabbed Solo’s gear. Once he was tacked up he swung into the saddle and headed off. The trail to Flat Rock was well-worn and he eased the gelding into a steady trot for most of the way. Ten minutes in and he knew a solitary ride was exactly what he needed to clear his mind.
If that were possible. He spent most of his days and nights thinking about Cassie. Wondering how he’d made such a mess of it all. He loved her...but he hadn’t the courage to say the words. He wanted her, but he’d been unwilling to stay around and play second fiddle to his brother.
He had to get her out of his head. And his heart.
Once he reached Flat Rock and the mustangs, he singled out the filly and took a short video on his cell. She did appear to be slightly lame and he texted Grady to get the vet out when he had the chance.
By the time he got back to the ranch it was past two o’clock. Grady hadn’t returned from his trip to town, so Tanner unsaddled Solo and left him in the corral and headed for his truck. It was a short trip back to his ranch and he slowed as he drove beneath the wide white gates. Two M’s entwined on the logo and he let out a long breath. He’d called the ranch The Double M, hoping that one day he’d have someone to share it with. For the briefest moment he’d thought that someone was Cassie.
But he was wrong.
The gravel driveway was long and straight and he spotted a vehicle parked out front of the house. As he got closer he realized it was Grady’s dual-cab truck. And his friend was resting against the back, arms crossed, hat slung low over his forehead.
Tanner pulled the truck to a halt and got out.
“What are you doing here?” he asked and noticed that his friend’s daughters were in the backseat.
Grady jerked his head to one side in the direction of the house. “See for yourself.”
Tanner turned his gaze to the farmhouse and stood motionless. A dog sat on the porch. A huge black-and-white dog he’d recognize anywhere. Mouse.
It’s not possible...
The door opened and a figure emerged.
Cassie.
His heart thundered in his chest. His legs wouldn’t move. His skin felt as if it was on fire. He saw her walk onto the porch and still he didn’t want to allow himself to believe it.
He glanced toward Grady, who had now pushed himself off the rear of the truck and was grinning.
Grady tapped him on the shoulder. “Go get your family.”
Tanner stood motionless, unable to move his legs. She was near the porch step, her beautiful hair flowing around her shoulders. He tried to move and failed. It was only when he heard Grady’s truck pulling away that he gathered the strength to shift his limbs. He walked across the yard, his chest so tight he felt as though his heart might burst through his rib cage.
When he reached the bottom step he stopped. Mouse, who was tethered to a railing, whined and wagged his long tail. Tanner heard a baby laugh from inside the front door. Oliver. His heart rolled over.
“Hi,” she said softly.
Tanner met her gaze. “Hello.”
She took a deep breath. “You left something behind.”
Tanner’s insides jumped. “I did? What?”
She exhaled heavily. “Me. Us.”
“Cassie, I...” His words trailed. He wanted to take her in his arms. He wanted to feel her kiss and her sweet touch. But first, he had to be sure. “Why are you here?”
She stared at him, her eyes glistening. “Your friend Grady is a nice man. He picked us up from the airport yesterday and we stayed at a motel in town.”
His brows came up. Grady had some explaining to do. “You got on an airplane?”
She nodded. “My first. I’ve been doing a lot of things for the first time lately. I started taking real responsibility for myself and my son. And I got a backbone, too.”
He smiled a little. “And what do you intend to do with it?”
Her shoulders pushed back. “Fight for what I want.”
“And what’s that?”
Her mouth curved and she moved closer to the edge of the step. “You.”
Tanner sucked in a breath. He wanted to believe her. He wanted it more than he’d wanted anything in his life. But resistance lingered. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. Didn’t want to have her for a moment only to lose her again.
“That’s not how you felt a month ago.”
“I’m not the same woman I was a month ago,” she said quietly, moving onto the lower step. “I’ve changed. Knowing you has changed me.” She paused and took a steadying breath. “I know about the house. I know what you did.” She dropped onto the next step down. “But I would never have stood for it.”
She was closer. Almost touching distance. “It’s what you wanted. What you’d hoped for. You love that house. You grew up there. Why does it matter how it came about?”
“Because it does matter.” She swept her gaze around the yard. “What if something happened and you lost all of this, because of me? I couldn’t bear it.”
“Money and possessions have never been important to me, Cassie. You should know that by now.”
“I do know,” she said and took another step closer. “It’s one of the reasons why I...why I feel the way I do about you.”
His heart stopped beating. Was that her roundabout way of saying she loved him? “You love Doug.”
She shook her head. “I loved Doug. Once...a lifetime ago. Before I knew you. Before I realized what it was to be with someone who is my friend...and my lover...and my truest soul mate.”
“Cassie, I can’t—”
“Don’t say no to me,” she implored, her face all emotion, her blue eyes glittering brightly. “Not when I came all this way to tell you how I feel about you.”
Tanner’s throat closed over. “Then tell me.”
Her breath caught. “I’m in love with you.”
And there it was. All he needed to hear. All he wanted. Her heart. Her love. “You’re sure?”
She nodded. “Never surer. I love that you make me smile in one moment and make me mad the next. I love that you make love to me so passionately that I feel like the most desirable woman in the world. And I love how you love Oliver, and I want to make him all over again with you.”
Tanner quickly took the two last steps and met her halfway. “I love you, too,” he whispered against her mouth before he kissed her. “So very much.”
She kissed him back and Tanner wrapped his arms around her. Feeling her close as if she was the air in his lungs.
Finally she pulled back a little and placed her hands on his shoulders. “I read the letter you wrote to Oliver. I knew as I read the words that you would always be there for him. That you would always love him and protect him. And I couldn’t ask for a better father for my son. And the children I’m going to have with you in the future.”
“And Doug?” he asked quietly.
&
nbsp; “A memory,” she replied. “And the person who brought us together, even if that was never his intention.”
Tanner touched her face. “I will love you all the days of my life, Cassie. You were the first girl I kissed.” He smiled, cradling her cheek. “And you’ll be the last.”
She smiled. “You can bet your boots on that score, cowboy.”
Oliver made a sound and Tanner tensed. “Where is he?”
“In the hall, in his stroller. He’s missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed him, too. And you.” He linked an arm around her waist and they walked up the steps. “I’ve even missed this goofy dog of yours.”
“Our dog now,” she said and smiled.
“And our son,” he said as they moved into the hall and noticed Oliver waving his hands excitedly from his stroller. A minute later they were in the living room, side by side on the dark leather sofa, and Tanner had Oliver in his arms. “He’s grown so much,” he said, bouncing him gently.
Cassie curled against him. “You really are remarkable with him. He sleeps and eats much better for you than me.” She smiled and her eyes lit up. “I can’t wait to have more children. The ranch and this house are so big and roomy, it should be filled with half a dozen kids.”
Tanner laughed. “Six kids? I better get a second job.”
She stroked his arm and smiled. “No need. The house in Crystal Point has just gone under contract. It’s sold and the money will pay off the second mortgage you foolishly but adorably took out on the ranch.” He went to protest but she placed her fingertips against his mouth. “I won’t negotiate on this, Tanner. It’s done.”
“You took something of a risk, selling the house and coming here.”
She shrugged. “I’ve turned over a new leaf. I needed to go after what I wanted. I’ve never done that before.” She squeezed his thigh. “But it feels good. And I think I’m going to want to get my own way a whole lot more in the future.”
He laughed. It was the first time he’d done that in weeks. “I think I like this new leaf of yours. It’s very...sexy.”