I roll my eyes, a reflex I guess even captivity can’t take away from me. Lila slides further into the corner, hiding into full darkness as if she wants to be forgotten.
“Who is he?” I turn my attention back to Melanie.
“Jeremiah is our Protector and our leader is Master Abram. We’re part of the Circle,” she answers and my heart stops.
That’s Luke’s past. That’s the cult he was telling me about, the one that’s seriously considering mass suicide because they believe the end of the world is coming.
My blood transforms itself into icepicks in my veins.
“Aren’t you happy?” She frowns. “I’ve been asking for you for so long.”
“The Circle is bullshit. It’s not true. It’s fake.”
Mellie’s eyes widen and she gasps. “Don’t talk like this,” she begs me. “You can’t talk like this.”
The footsteps are more pronounced and my stomach hurts. He calls her name, but it’s muffled. I know that voice and this soothing tone. It’s Jer. The one who comes to the gas station to get food for his sick sister. Oh. Melanie. I’m going to be sick.
The little door to the crawlway opens up. And with it some more light.
I cringe when I take a better look at Melanie. She looks like she hasn’t seen the sun in years; she looks sick. Her eyes are full of something I don’t recognize. But what freaks me out the most is her smile. It’s not guarded, it’s not fake…it seems genuine.
“I’m so happy to welcome you as part of our family,” Jeremiah says. He wasn’t the one in the car. The one in the car must have been Abram. My heart thumps against my ribcage.
The way Melanie’s looking at him is sickening. The way she purses her lips, telling me that I need to listen, shatters me: it’s a gesture so familiar yet so foreign. She used to always make that face when she was babysitting me and I did something I wasn’t supposed to, like eating candies, or watching too much TV.
I turn to the side. I need to keep calm. Melanie’s here, she’s got to be alive behind her dead eyes and her robotic tone.
I glance at him. “What did you do to Lila? Where’s Luke?” I whisper.
He stares me down and I almost think he’s going to hit me. He raises his hand. “I don’t want to do this. But better me than Master Abram. He’ll make you bleed.” I brace for the impact of his hand on my face, but Melanie pushes me away. I hit my head on the floor. “Don’t hit her. Please don’t hit her. I’ll teach her. I promise I will, I’ll teach her why we’re safer here than anywhere else.”
His eyes widen at the pleading form in front of him.
“Melanie,” he growls but looks conflicted. He grabs her hair but it’s still loose like he’s afraid to hurt her. “Do not dare put yourself between me and Tessa. Ever again. You know the rules. She’s not your sister until she accepts the rules.” He breathes heavily. “I don’t want to hit you.”
“Please, don’t hit her!” I scream and he glares at me.
“You.” He spits the word out. Long gone is the smiling guy who always wished me a good night when he came to the gas station. “You ran away instead of helping her that day. You left her alone. You don’t love her like I do.”
Melanie refuses to meet my eyes. “He’s right. You all forgot me. You need to listen to him,” she whispers and then hurries out of the crawlway, wiping tears away.
Lila cries behind me and I slide myself in front of her so I can shield her from him.
“Lila knows the rules. She’s lived with the rules ever since she was born. Melanie is saved. You won’t be able to take her away from me. You need to understand: the world is in danger. The Circle is the only one that can save us, can save all of us.” He sounds so convinced, so enthralled by his own words. He closes his eyes and a smile forms on his lips. He looks younger somehow.
“If you let us go, we won’t say anything. I promise. If you let the three of us go…” I beg him, making my voice as convincing as possible. But his smile turns into a frown.
“You don’t understand. You’ll never be able to leave. The new Master is going to make sure we have our place in this world and the next.”
I shake my head. “You need to let us go. They’re going to find us.”
With each word, he grows tenser and tenser. “You don’t understand. This is what I want to do, this is who I was meant to be. I was cast away once. Never again.”
“Please, you must let us go,” I plead again.
He shakes his head and mutters to himself. “I have to do this. You have to listen. You have to obey. Otherwise, Master Abram will take you away and Melanie will never forgive me.” He inhales and exhales. “I don’t want to but I have to do this.”
This time, when he raises his hand, there’s no one there to protect me.
Chapter Forty-one – Luke
Lacey was right. It is worse. We pass a broken gate and many signs telling visitors to “beware.” And after a long, windy, dusty road, we’re on the compound. The lights flicker, illuminating a smaller and dirtier compound than the ones I lived on before. People must have been waiting for us to return because, despite it being the middle of the night, they all stand in front of small cabins—they almost look like sheds. They’re all close to one another and there’s a bigger house in the middle.
Some of the people’s clothes are ripped or too big for them. “People have left,” Lacey whispers. “After Master Peter died…” He did let them leave then. The forums were right. My sigh of relief that there might be a solution is short-lived. “They said Abram couldn’t be the true leader if his own stepson and daughter left. He got so angry when he heard the rumors. He used the whip. And the flame.” She lowers her voice even further and doesn’t glance my way as she walks ahead of me. The whip had been used before, but the flame very rarely. They put you close enough to the fire so your skin burns and then pull you away in time for you to survive. It’s cleansing by fire according to the Master.
Master Peter wasn’t keen on using those methods.
But Abram has nothing on the Middle Ages.
The people who stayed behind must be hard believers or afraid. It’s in the way they cast their eyes to the ground when we walk and in the way they bow to Abram, whispering, “The Master Our Savior.” Mom and Abram march to their home in the middle. It’s the biggest and nicest. Abram hasn’t said one word to me. He glared at me as I stepped out of the car. He barked orders at Mom and threatened Lacey, but not me.
Once we’re in front of their house, he turns to me and announces very loudly—to me or to the group, I’m not sure—“You’re going to apologize to your people and you’re going to accept the rule of the Circle. Before it’s too late. The end of the world is coming,” Abram declares, like there’s no question I will do as he says. I need to find a way out. I need to find Lila and Tessa. I need to warn the police. Those innocent people need to be saved, and not the way Abram wants to save them.
“The end of the world will save us all,” Abrams adds.
And once more I can’t seem to shut up. “The end of the world, my ass,” I whisper but even though he can’t possibly have heard me, he still marches to me. His fist lands on my face with a smash and I almost fall to the ground. I wince at the pain. Blood trickles down my nose to my lips. Lacey gasps but the rest of the compound seems enthralled by the scene and Mom simply shakes her head, like I’m being told to go to my room for talking back.
“You listen to me very carefully,” Abram hisses and holds me by my shirt. His face is too close to mine. His breath smells like the fresh mint he’s been chewing on. “The end of the world is coming and you certainly do not want your little sister to be the one to go.”
“Where is she?” I ask, not looking away. I should have learned by now not to provoke him, but ever since I escaped my mouth seems to work faster than my mind.
His smile freaks me out. “She’s with family. She’s being well taken care of. She’ll come back as soon as I decide it’s time.”
Abram
pushes me toward a small shed. “That’s where you’re going to be spending your last night,” he whispers and opens the door.
Mom steps forward. She’s much thinner than before and the way she looks at Abram is different. There’s more fear than love in her eyes. Her hand shakes as she raises it. “Yes, Dawn?” Abram bites out.
“The Book of Truth says that traitors should be punished but should be allowed the comfort of the Circle.” She still sounds like she believes the words she says. “I think Lacey should spend some time with him.”
Hope floats in my veins.
“I don’t trust her.”
Lacey stares at the ground. Not saying a word.
My heart beats loudly in my ears. Maybe they don’t know Lacey helped us. Maybe she managed to hide it. She was so careful.
“It’s their last night in this world. Our last night. Ten minutes. They should have ten minutes. You can put guards in front of the shed.”
People lean to one another, whispering. Mom mentioned The Book of Truth and they all obey the words of The Book of Truth. Abram must sense the shift in mood because he steps forward.
“The Book of Truth is our guide and we shall follow all of its teaching. Lacey will have ten minutes with Luke.”
He narrows his eyes at Mom, who holds his glare with her upper lip quivering. I still don’t trust her. I can’t. Not after everything. Not after Uncle John.
She slowly walks my way. “I’ve done this for Lacey. Not for you. If you didn’t run away, we’d all be happier. Lacey suffered a lot. Because of you.” She pulls up my shirt. “This sign meant nothing to you. This means everything to me.” She marches inside the house.
Abram straightens up. “It’s time to go home, brothers and sisters. It’s time to rest under the watchful eye of your Master.”
People wave at him and enter their small homes. He and Mason push me toward the shed. Lacey follows them. Abram turns to Lacey before opening the shed. “Don’t try anything. Or Lila and Tessa will suffer.”
The shed is empty—except for one chair. There’s nothing on the walls and a mildewed smell overwhelms me. The flickering lights shine through the cracks in the wood planks nailed to the bigger window, but there’s a smaller window to the right that hasn’t been shut. From there, Abram’s and Mom’s house looks even more sinister.
I wait until they slam the door behind us before rushing to Lacey. “I’m so sorry we left without you. I’m so sorry.” The words tumble out of my mouth.
Lacey touches my face. Tears fill her eyes. “You’re alive. You have no idea how happy I am that you’re alive. Abram said you and Lila were dead. That the heat got you. I didn’t believe them at first but then I doubted and I didn’t know.” Her dark hair is cut to her shoulders, unevenly. She’s wearing a long blue dress with holes at the bottom and on her long sleeves. “How about Lila? What is she like? Does she still like fairy tales?”
My smile feels sad. “She does. She also loves soccer and jumping in puddles and playing in the mud. She’s funny and she’s smart.”
“You need to find a way out. You need to save them.” She rubs her neck the same way I do when I’m anxious. Her voice doesn’t have the passion and the fight it used to have.
“We need to find a way out. I’m not leaving you behind. Not again.”
“I’m stuck here. After you and Lila left, Abram convinced Peter to lock me in the cabin for weeks. When I still didn’t say anything about you running away, Abram pulled me aside and told me he’d let me take care of the children if I promised not to run away. There’s one child whose mom disappeared three years ago. She was only one. He told me he would hurt her and use fire on her if I escaped. He said he’d kill Mom…I couldn’t leave then.” Her pain slams into me like a truck. “Peter actually tried to help—believe it or not. When Abram tried to marry me to Mason despite Mason and I both protesting, he told him we were ill-matched and that maybe my vocation was to be a guide to the children.” She shudders. “Peter protected me. He moved me to another small cabin.” She shudders. “When he died…I thought about escaping. I planned to leave with Callie—that’s the name of the little girl I took care of—but I got locked up again in another cabin. I’m convinced Abram killed him.”
That’s a lot of information to process. My hand finds hers and I squeeze it gently. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could have found you earlier.”
“Callie helped me. The rest of the members were treated better under Peter. Life wasn’t bad once I wasn’t under Abram’s thumb anymore. Mom was talking to me again and helping me with the kids. She never said she was sorry but I could feel she was sorry about the way Abram treated us.”
“Where is Callie?”
“She left with another group. I asked them to take her. I wanted to leave with them too but Abram threatened Callie. He knows I’d do anything for her. Like I’d do anything for you or Lila. He tied me up in the truck until we got here. And he always has someone watching me.”
She dips her chin and then glances back up. Her lip quivers. “Do you remember the story of Jeremiah?”
“He’s the one who got kicked out because he didn’t follow the rules. Because he did everything to save his mom. He was Abram’s stepson.”
“Abram’s been taking care of him. The rumor goes that he kidnapped someone to save her and that today Abram will welcome them into the Circle too.”
“Mellie,” I breathe out.
“Melanie Gardner?” Lacey asks with a frown on her face. “From our summer?”
I nod. Lacey looks confused but we don’t have much time. I take a deep breath. “What I don’t get is why Jeremiah didn’t go to the police when he got banned.”
“He was seventeen when he got banned and he’d lived his entire life on the compound. Abram told him his mom would still be alive if he had followed the rules. He made him feel small and responsible. Abram told him he would welcome him back if he proved his allegiance to him.”
“After all this time, he must have learned the Circle is a big pile of bullshit.”
She runs her fingers through her hair. She looks so much older than nineteen. She sounds so much older. She grabs my hands in hers. They’re cold and bony.
“Master Abram and Mason have been whispering a lot. They’ve been planning for the end of the world, telling the members it’s coming. You don’t have much time.”
“We don’t have much time. I’m telling you I am not leaving you behind. Not this time. Not again.”
She smiles at me but her smile is full of sadness. “It might be too late for me,” she replies and hugs herself.
“It’s not.” And I want to believe it.
The Circle can go screw themselves.
This is my truth.
Chapter Forty-two– Tessa
I don’t know how much time has passed: a minute, an hour, a day. My stomach grumbles. Lila lays against me, shivering. The crawlway is damp and cold. “And then the princess fights the evil king and escapes with the dragon.” I’m making up story after story.
“The dragon is really her friend?” Lila asks and her voice is tired. She slept for a bit, but she woke up screaming and her scream tore my heart. “Can she name the dragon Luke?”
“Your brother would love that,” I reply keeping a cheery tone even though my heart aches worrying about Luke. He must be beating himself up for yet another thing he has no control over.
“My brother would win against the evil king too,” Lila whispers. “My brother is the best brother in the world.”
My chest squeezes and I force myself not to cry. I can’t break right now.
Lila coughs. “They said Mom would come and see me, but she’s not there.”
“How did you get here, Lila?” I ask her for the third time, carefully. The last two times, she cried, telling me she didn’t remember.
“I was sleeping. And then I was in a car. I don’t know what happened. Amya was reading me a story and then my eyes closed and then I don’t know. I want to see Mitch
and Amya.” She sniffles. “I miss them and my mommy. And Lacey. Do you know Lacey?”
I remember Lacey’s laugh when she was just thirteen. “I do. Melanie knows her too.”
Lila’s lip quivers. “Melanie’s mean. She made you cry.”
“I was sad. I’m better now. Did you see where the car took you?” I need to figure out how far we are from the town. I need to find a way to leave this place. The police, our parents, they must be all over the place. Everywhere. They will find us. They found Erin and Nadia when the Angel Killer got to them. I force my mind to not repeat over and over again that Melanie’s been missing for years and no one found her.
Lila yawns and her own stomach grumbles. She giggles—the only carefree moment this place has probably seen, and her giggles gives me the kick I need to be strong. “I’m hungry,” she says.
The latch leading to us opens and Lila stiffens against me. “It’s her,” she says with fear in her voice. Melanie shouldn’t scare her. She’s not herself. She’s a victim like us, and she’ll realize soon that it’s all wrong.
She’s balancing an old tray that doesn’t look like it’s been washed in years. Avoiding my stare, she puts a bowl in front of me.
Oatmeal.
“You used to love to put chocolate and banana in your oatmeal,” I tell her, wanting to connect with her in any way, even if it’s small. She freezes for a second.
“We don’t have sweets here and fruits only rarely,” she answers as she puts the tray in front of Lila.
“Melanie, what happened? After he got you…” I don’t want Lila to hear, but there’s no way I can talk to Melanie without her listening in.
“He saved me. He took care of me. He showed me the horrors of this world and the peace that comes from accepting your fate. He told me I was special and real.”
I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of my sister living all these years with that guy. “Did he…? Has he…?” I don’t know how to ask. I’m not sure I want to know.
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