“I told Tessa about the Circle.”
I expect him to slam the brakes and get upset but instead, he doesn’t even turn to me. “It was a matter of time. I’m not happy you did. She could inadvertently say something or post something.” He sighs.
“She won’t.”
“I’m asking for reinforcement. I want to make sure the people around you are protected too. Abram is dangerous, which makes the Circle dangerous.”
“What did you hear?”
“The FBI is interrogating some of the members who left the group after it split. They live in a new commune in New Mexico, but it’s more open. And they’re scared of Abram. They say he rules with fear.”
“Lacey isn’t with them?” I ask even though I already know the answer.
“No. I’m sorry.” He pulls into the ranch’s long driveway. “Officer Garrett will be watching our home tonight. He should be there soon. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Of course not. I’m going to call Tessa.”
We both slide out of the car and then there’s a gunshot.
“Get down!” Uncle John yells and rushes toward me. He pushes me down and pulls his gun. There’s another gunshot, his gun drops to the ground and he falls next to me. His shoulder bleeds. “Run.” His voice is hoarse. “Take the keys.” He opens his hand. “And go.”
“I can’t leave you behind. I can’t.”
“You…you have to.” His eyes flutter like he’s about to pass out.
And that’s when I hear her voice. “Lacey wants to see you.” Mom. My throat tightens and my hand reaches for my cell. I need to call an ambulance. I need to make sure Uncle John’s going to be okay. “Drop your phone.” She uses her most maternal voice, the one she used when we were sick and she wanted to reassure me. I thought she’d lost that voice, but now it makes my skin crawl.
“He needs help,” I plead with her and Uncle John whimpers. The pool of blood spreads.
She grabs my phone, throws it to the floor and smashes it with her foot. “He’s going to die. He’s losing too much blood.” She crouches next to him. “You were wrong, big brother. We could be saved. But it’s too late for you.” He whimpers again but she ignores him. Instead, she stands up and pulls me with her toward the back of the ranch. That’s where the shot came from. There’s a truck we couldn’t have seen from the main road. “We need to go. Lila, Lacey and Tessa are waiting for you.”
I freeze. “Lila and Tessa?”
“Abram figured you might be more compliant with them. Tessa was supposed to have been with us a long time ago… When Abram asked me what would make you listen more…especially after your ridiculous lies about him, I told him about Tessa.” She shakes her head. “But Jeremiah had to go and get the wrong girl. It’s all good now.” She sounds like she’s completely lost any sense of reality.
“You don’t know where Lila is,” I finally manage to croak out.
“Oh, honey. All we had to do is keep track of you to find Lila, and you made it oh so easy. What wasn’t easy was getting her in the time we had.” She narrows her eyes like it’s my fault. “Her foster mom wouldn’t leave her side, but luckily your sister fell asleep early…apparently her soccer game wore her out. Her foster mom and dad were busy talking with the police. That’s when Mason slipped out from the closet and got her.” I frown and Mom must misunderstand my expression because she continues, “Mason is Abram’s second. He was smart, there was one window not covered by the alarm and he found it—the one in the bathroom on the second floor. She’s probably still sleeping from the chloroform, but she’ll wake up soon. They might not even know she’s gone yet. We couldn’t risk them telling you or vice versa.”
My breathing stops.
He brings pain to those around him.
I clench my hands until my fingers dig into my skin, but I resist the urge to punch the wall. They were right. I bring pain to those I love.
Always have.
Always will.
PART TWO
Chapter Thirty-seven – Tessa
Darkness surrounds me. A weird smell attacks my nose and my stomach lurches forward. I want to scream but there’s something in my mouth.
I can’t breathe.
I force myself to inhale via my nose. Tears fall down my face and my entire body shakes with tremors that are a mix between panic and cold.
I need to calm down. The voice in my mind sounds freaked out. I can’t move. This has to be a nightmare. It can’t be real life.
Is this how Mellie felt? So helpless but full of hope at the same time? Because it can’t be happening. It’s not real. It can’t be real. It has to be the stupidest prank on Earth. I’m not gagged inside the trunk of my own car. There’s a bump on the road and my body rolls to the side. I can’t see anything, it’s dark and my head hurts as if I downed a thousand shots before I passed out. I want to stretch my arms but I can’t. My hands are restrained on top of my head and there’s a jangling noise as I move.
It’s not true.
I’m so tired. My eyelids are heavy.
Don’t sleep.
The voice is persistent but there’s nothing I can do.
I close my eyes, my only thought being that when I wake up, I’ll be in my bed.
Because this is my worst nightmare.
Chapter Thirty-eight – Mellie
To the member who strays, who stops believing: you shall be welcome back in the embrace of the Circle. He shall be forgiven if he shows true remorse.
The traitor to the Circle, the one who intentionally harms the Circle shall be punished. He should be treated fairly until the fire cleanses him.
(The Circle’s Book of Truth – Chapter Seven)
Dawn and Abram left a few hours ago. It’s dark outside. Abram promised he’s going to bring Tessa back to me.
“Don’t forget the rules,” Jeremiah reminds me. “You can’t treat Tessa like your sister. You have to have boundaries with her or she won’t understand. You need to be firm and strong. You need to save her.”
“I understand.” I nod but it pulls on my wound. Jeremiah bandaged it but it’s still painful and feels raw.
The door screeches open and my heart hammers.
“She’s here,” he singsongs and pulls the latch. “She’s home.”
Abram carries my sister’s limp body into the couch.
She’s so close but suddenly my chest tightens with anxiety. I remember how I was when I first got saved: so angry, so desperate. It took me years to understand. Will she? Will she see the truth?
As if he understands my thoughts, he gently pushes me toward her. “She’s home. She’s saved. You saved her. You know the rules. She’s going to lie and she’s going to try to change you. You can’t let her. She needs to accept the Circle to be saved. She needs to accept who you are.”
He tilts my chin up and stares into my eyes with so much confidence my heart warms. “You can do it.” And then he whispers, “There’s someone else we need to take care of. She’s young and she’s so innocent still.” He marches back out, leaving me alone with Tessa. I have no idea what he’s talking about. He never brings people he saves here—except Isabel. Or maybe because of Isabel.
I watch Tessa: her chest rises and falls. She’s wearing jeans and a shirt that says Gavert High Junior Class. School. I haven’t thought about school for years.
I step forward. Slowly. Carefully. My hand touches her soft hair. I compare it with mine: the same color but the texture is different. She stirs but doesn’t wake.
The door opens again, and Abram has another girl in his arms. She’s small with dark short hair. He shows me her arm. The same burn I have on my neck. “It’s Lila. She was taken from us two years ago but she’s going home. You need to take care of her too.”
I nod. My heart overflows with joy for both Lila and Tessa. And for me. We’re finally going to be part of the Circle. Being saved means having a family again, not being afraid, knowing that you’ll always be protected, being ready for the end of the wo
rld if it comes during our lifetime.
Abram’s hand softly touches my shoulder and I turn around. My eyes find his. His smile is small but it’s there, like he’s really happy for me, for us. “I’m going to need your help, Mellie. Tessa may be with us, but you need to give your trust to the Circle first. Always to the Circle.”
I know his tones well enough to realize that even though he’s happy for me, Tessa will need to understand she’s saved much faster than I did.
Abram stands in front of us. His blond hair contrast with his dark shirt. He’s always wearing clean clothes. He narrows his eyes. “The new rules are clear to everybody, right? You join and are saved for this life and beyond, or you die.”
Chapter Thirty-nine – Luke
My heart beats way too slowly. It should be racing or pounding. I picture Tessa’s face, her encouraging words. “You don’t bring pain. You’re courageous and sweet.” Where is she? I need to find her. I need to save her and Lila and Lacey. Panic creeps inside my mind. I can’t be too late.
Mom doesn’t need a gun for me to follow her. All she needs are her words and the picture she took on an old camera of Lila asleep in the back of a car with a guy I recognize from my time with the Circle. He was learning how to build houses then.
“Where are they?” I can’t force myself to smooth my voice and it comes out hard and biting. I keep seeing the blood around Uncle John. Officer Garrett might get there too late. Uncle John needs help. The alarm. If I throw something in the window it should trigger the motion sensor he has inside. I need to do it and do it fast while she’s talking.
“You’ll see the new compound. It’s not far from here, much smaller than the one in New Mexico but it’s better that way. We only have the people who truly believe with us now.”
I bend down, grab a rock from the pathway and throw it as hard as I can. It smashes the window.
Mom turns to me with her gun pointed my way. I’m not even sure she realizes she could kill me if she pulls the trigger. “What did you do?” And then the alarm blasts. Someone should be there soon.
Mom pulls me harder and opens the truck. “Get inside.”
Through the window, Lacey’s eyes widen. Lacey.
I rush to open the door. Lacey seems frozen. She doesn’t move. “Luke,” she whispers and finally turns to me.
A man in the front seat slams his hand on the wheel. “Shut up. We don’t have time for this!”
Mom jumps in the car. “I’m sorry it’s taking so long.”
The man hisses, “We need to hurry up. It’s taking way too long.” I don’t remember his voice. Probably another disciple of Abram.
My eyes dart to Lacey. Her face is the same and yet different. It’s more angular and she doesn’t have that easy smile she always had when she saw me—even after all the pain. “Lacey?”
Her hand finds mine and she squeezes it. She has new bruises on her face. “You should have run,” she whispers. “It’s worse now. It’s so much worse.”
Chapter Forty – Tessa
A soft wet cloth touches my face and Mom’s caressing my hair. I’m home. It was all a bad dream.
“Mom,” I whisper.
“Everything’s okay, you’re saved,” a voice similar to Mom’s says, but there’s a difference. Mom’s voice is throaty from smoking; this one is light and a bit monotonous.
I struggle to open my eyes. There’s a pungent smell around me, like a sewer mixed with old water. The calming hand continues to stroke my hair and to whisper over and over again that I am finally saved.
I struggle to move but my hands are bound behind my back, and there’s a jiggle of chains. My arms are numb and the panic rises in my chest.
I force my eyes to finally open, but the place I’m in is dark.
“Tessa,” the voice in her almost-Mom tone whispers. “Tessa, you’re finally here.” And then her thin arms wrap around me. Her bones dig into my back and she smells like sweat and old food.
She lets me go and my eyes narrow on her necklace below a red scar so similar to Luke’s. A red scar that barely seems to be healing. When the necklace touches it, it must hurt. A lot. Melanie’s necklace. The fear is replaced by an immense and crushing hope.
My heart hammers. The necklace around her neck hasn’t changed—I chose that necklace for her eleventh birthday because it has a blue stone and blue was her favorite color. “Mellie?” I whisper.
Mellie inhales and exhales deeply.
“Mellie?” I repeat. I want to touch her face, see if it’s her, see her brown eyes—so similar to Mom’s—light up with a smile.
Mellie’s hand trembles as it touches my forehead again. “My little stinker,” she replies with a shaking voice.
“Oh, it’s you, it’s really you.” And I think I’m crying. “What happened? Where are we? Is that really you? You’re really alive? We’re going to go home, right? We can’t stay here. I can’t believe you’re alive.” I want to hug her so badly but I still can’t. My breathing is labored and I can’t sit straight.
I’m a blubbering mess, in front of my big sister.
She shifts to the right slightly and in the dim light, I can see her hair’s limp, she’s missing a tooth and she looks like she hasn’t eaten properly in years. She’s crying too and laughing at the same time.
Her hands frame my face tenderly. “I’m so happy to see you, Tessa. I’m so happy you’re still alive and that you could be saved too.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“Do you remember how we always said we’d be sisters forever?” she asks.
“I do. I can’t wait to go home with you. Dad and Mom will be so happy.” Happy is a poor word to describe how overjoyed and overwhelmed our parents will feel seeing Melanie. “We need to get out of here somehow. Whoever took us, he can’t get away with it.”
There’s a whimper behind me. I slowly turn around. There’s a little girl with dark hair lying close to us. The form isn’t moving. Is she even here? Am I hallucinating?
Melanie sits but doesn’t stand up. We’re in some sort of crawlway. She’s wearing old jeans with holes in them and a shirt that says Love is everything.
“We don’t need to get away from here. You don’t understand. He’s going to protect you. He’s your family too.”
“Melanie, you can’t be serious.” I don’t think I’ve ever sounded so confused.
“Of course I am serious.” Her voice rises but there’s none of the passion she used to have in it. It’s robotic, and chills run down my spine in distorted rhythm. “You do not want to go back out there, where you will die for sure. And you need to obey him.” She crouches in front of me and I can see more clearly that she’s got old scars she didn’t have before. My heart twists and bile comes up in my mouth. What happened to my sister? What happened to the one who used to dance and sing and sneak onto the roof to look at the stars? My memories of Melanie are all of a stubborn thirteen-year-old wanting to prove to my parents she could take care of herself, who cried reading the last book of the Harry Potter series because she couldn’t believe there would be no more magic.
“Melanie, we need to go home. Mom and Dad—”
She raises her hand and there’s so much anger in the way she looks at me that my eyes widen. But then it disappears and her shoulders slump. “Mom and Dad do not love us like he does. Mom and Dad would never protect us like he does. Mom and Dad do not even care that someone took us away.”
I want to shake her. I want to reason with her.
The little girl next to us whimpers. She’s not some fragment of my imagination. “Who is this?” I turn my head. “Is she okay?”
Melanie raises her index finger to her lips. “Shh. Lila misbehaved.”
Lila. It can’t be the same Lila. “Lila,” I whisper. The little girl turns to me and I’m hit with green eyes so similar to Luke’s. It doesn’t compute. Why would she be here? “Are you Luke’s sister?”
She nods and this time, she sobs. He said his little
sister was seven years old.
“Lila yelled and cried. He had to punish her. We had to punish her.”
We.
I stare at my sister. She snaps her head back at me. “Why are you looking at me like that? Why aren’t you happy? He said you’d be difficult, but I thought…I thought you’d understand.” Her voice sounds desperate. Her mood seems all over the place and I’m not sure what to say or what to do. I never thought I’d have to convince her of our love.
A door opens upstairs and a smile breaks on her face, showing she’s missing two more teeth. “He’s back.”
Lila cries softly and Melanie kisses me on the cheek. I shiver. “He’s back for us!” She sounds excited, like she’s actually happy her captor is coming back.
She sings a song.
We were lost
But then he found us
We were lost
But then he saved us.
Her voice isn’t as clear as before but she still sounds amazing. She squeezes my hand. “Do you remember when we used to sing together? You loved singing. Why don’t you sing with me?”
She’s right. I love singing. Singing with her was another memory that always made me smile. But I can’t sing with her now. Not like that. Not that song.
She continues like she’s already moved on. “You’re going to meet him. You’re going to be lucky enough to see his face and his mercy. You’re going to be part of our family.”
“We have a family, Melanie. Our parents love us. Momma and Poppa loved us too. When Poppa died four years ago, he was still thinking about you and when Momma died, she made us promise to never stop looking for you.”
“Momma and Poppa were nice,” she whispers but then shakes her head. “But they didn’t save us. You need to sit straighter and you need to be polite. Say ‘yes, sir’ and ‘no, sir’ if he talks directly to you—especially with Master Abram. He’s strict.”
See Me, See Me Not Page 16