The View from Here

by Hannah McKinnon

  Jane snapped back to attention. “We’ll ask the visiting nurse to increase her hours. It’s only temporary.”

  “If we move in,” Phoebe stressed. “It’s not like it’s decided.”

  Perry bit his tongue. They would, he was sure. He pictured the whole thing unfolding. Although maybe it wasn’t all bad; if Phoebe ferried her family and all their belongings in, maybe it would be the natural time to ferry Grandma Elsie out to a nice, quiet assisted-living facility that was better suited to her needs, and where she could be cared for 24-7. He was about to suggest as much when he couldn’t help but notice that his mother was pouring herself yet another mimosa. At least she wasn’t lighting up.

  Amelia must’ve noticed it, too. She glanced at him. “Who’s hungry?” she asked. This they agreed on: when in doubt, stuff everyone’s mouths with food. Less talk, less opportunity for insult.

  Lunch was a feast. Jane had made her signature chicken curry wraps. Amelia had brought a homemade hummus that Perry did not particularly like but ate because he figured it was good for him. Phoebe held up a plastic grocery bag. “Sorry, everyone. Our kitchen was demolished, so I picked up a few things from the store.” She plunked the bag unceremoniously on the table, leaving whatever was inside a mystery. Amelia, to her credit, unpacked it. “Oh, how nice. Cookies and cupcakes.”

  Sugar, Perry thought. Just what all the kids on the crowded boat needed.

  Amelia reached into the bottom of the bag and pulled out a soggy box. “And popsicles!”

  Melted, thought Perry.

  He excused himself and went to gather the kids for lunch.

  Emma was leaning over the railing with Olivia, chatting away. He wondered what on earth Olivia could have said that had pulled his daughter out of her funk. Whatever it was, he was grateful, but he had to look away because there was the matter of her crimson bathing suit. He needed a beer.

  “Food is out,” he said.

  Olivia brightened. “Oh good. I brought something.”

  Before he could answer, she retrieved a large food basket from under one of the seats and carried it over to the table. The family gathered like vultures as she unpacked its contents. She’d brought far more than just something.

  “Olivia, did you make all this yourself?” Jane exclaimed.

  “She sure did,” Jake said. He was beaming. “She got up early this morning to get it all done.”

  There was a chilled bean salad tossed with a tart vinaigrette. Toasted ham and cheese crostini. A glass container filled with neat rows of endive and herbed cheese. And a tart lemon cake sliced into small squares with powdered sugar. Phoebe snagged one. “Oh my God, this is heaven. What’s in it? A pound of butter?”

  Olivia bit her lip. “Maybe.”

  “I have to stop,” Phoebe said. She took another and went to check on the boys. A moment later, she was back for more.

  Perry had not been hungry at all, but he found himself drawn to the spread. For once the Goodwin clan went silent, sampling all of what Olivia had brought, licking their fingers. Perry tried the ham and Gruyère crostini, and found he was starving. He filled his plate with two more.

  “My girl can cook,” Jake said, looking around with pleasure.

  “You’re going to be fat,” Phoebe told him. “I can’t wait.”

  Everyone chuckled, even Rob. Lulled by the rocking boat and the good food and the warm sun, Perry felt the family begin to relax.

  Sated, he stood and stretched. “Anyone want to swim?” he asked. But to his dismay, the adults all shook their heads.

  The children, however, were all in. Phoebe’s boys were fearless, flinging themselves into the water from every height the pontoon boat could offer. Perry noted with astonishment at how untroubled Phoebe and Rob seemed to be by it. They sat on the far end of the boat, drinks in hand, as if they had not a care in the world. His expression must’ve said as much.

  “What?” Phoebe snapped, glancing over at him. “The boys have life vests on.”

  Perry shrugged. “I know. But they can’t actually swim, can they?”

  “Oh, Perry. Here we go.” She got up and stalked off in the boys’ direction. “I’ll go be a better mother.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” Perry said.

  Jake, who was the only one still eating, set down his plate and peeled his shirt off. “Let me take a turn watching the kids. I could really use a cooling off, anyway.”

  And just like that, suddenly everyone wanted to swim. “Good idea,” Edward agreed. “It’s gotten warm, all of a sudden.”

  Even Amelia stood and removed her cover-up. “Want to swim?”

  Perry shook his head. He had wanted to. Five minutes ago, when he’d asked them all.

  Jake positioned himself at the edge of the railing and swung one leg over. “Don’t try this at home, kids.”

  Perry could practically feel the intake of breath on the boat as he rose with barely a wobble and balanced on the narrow rail. “Look out below!” he yelled, and then he executed the perfect backflip.

  Perry’s eyes went straight to Olivia. When Jake shot back up to the surface, she let out a whoop and everyone clapped. The rest of them jumped like lemmings. His father, Rob. Even Amelia leapt off the back of the boat. Perry had never known Amelia to jump off of anything.

  Perry went to sit with Emma, who seemed engrossed in texting. He wanted to ask whom it was with. “Having fun?” he asked instead.

  “I guess.”

  Below them, the boys splashed about in the water with Jake, taking turns wrapping their arms around his neck.

  Phoebe shouted down at them, “Careful! You’re going to drown your uncle.”

  “Livi!” Jake called. “Come rescue me.” Perry had not heard his brother refer to her as such. To him, Olivia seemed more fitting.

  But she didn’t seem to mind. “You’re on your own,” she shouted back.

  “City girl!” Jake taunted her.

  That was all it took. Olivia turned and grabbed Luci’s hand. “Come on, love. Let’s show these boys.” But Luci shook her head.

  Perry tried to avert his gaze as Olivia undid the button on her jean shorts and they slipped to the boat floor. But when she bent and tossed him her cutoffs, he couldn’t help but blush.

  “Would you please set those on my bag so they don’t get splashed?” She flashed him a dizzying smile. Perry coughed.

  In no time, Jake had organized a diving competition. Because that was the kind of thing Jake did. Even Emma stopped texting to take a video of everyone playing in the water.

  Refreshed and dripping wet, Amelia climbed up the ladder and wrapped herself in a towel. “See who’s having a good time?” Amelia said, gesturing toward Emma. “I don’t know why you worry so much about her.”

  Emma had abandoned her phone and was in line for the diving contest. Perry grinned as she cannonballed off the edge. He realized that only he and Luci remained.

  Olivia climbed up the ladder and waved. “Lu Lu! Want a turn?”

  Timidly, Luci peered down into the water.

  “Oh, come on,” Olivia coaxed. “Show the boys your stuff.”

  From below came Jake’s call. “What’s going on up there? The judges are getting tired of treading water.” He’d said it jokingly, but Perry thought he saw a flash of consternation cross Olivia’s brow.

  “Just a minute,” she said, climbing up onto the deck. “She’s coming.”

  But Luci didn’t go to her mother. Instead she turned and looked at Perry. Unsure of what to do, he waved. Luci returned the gesture shyly.

  Perry leaned forward from his seat. “Can I tell you a secret? Emma used to be afraid to jump,” he told her. “And you know what I did? I said I’d jump, too, if she went with me.”

  Luci glanced over at her mother, then back at Perry.

  “What do you think?” Olivia asked. She was smiling encouragingly, but her question came out as more of a plea.

  Perry felt something inside him shift. Suddenly, it mattered to
him very deeply that Luci answer her mother. That she join in the group, and not hold back, afraid.

  “I bet you’d have the best dive,” Perry said, softly. “What do you think?”

  “Okay.” Luci’s voice was so soft, the single word so small, that at first Perry wasn’t sure he’d heard right. Had she really spoken, or had he just wished it?

  But the look on Olivia’s face said otherwise. “That’s my girl!”

  Luci pointed to the water.

  “Want me to go first?” Olivia asked.

  The child nodded.

  Olivia turned to Perry. “Okay, will you stand with her?”

  “Of course.” He glanced down the boat. Amelia and Phoebe were lounging on the seats, chatting away with Rob and his parents. No one had any idea what they were missing.

  Olivia stood at the edge of the boat and waved down to Jake. “Here I come!” she called. Then, to Luci, “I’ll wait for you. You go next.”

  With that, she thrust herself off the edge of the boat and tucked. Perry watched her slip gracefully into the water with barely a ripple.

  “Wow,” he said.

  Luci stood beside him, very close, watching her mother surface.

  “Your turn, ma chérie!”

  Perry looked at the little girl. Her braids were soaked from splashing like two little rat tails. Her thick eyebrows were knit in concern. She was such an odd little creature.

  “You can do it,” he said.

  Suddenly, Luci slipped her small hand into his. She squeezed it. The force was no more than a mosquito bite, but Perry felt it go straight to his chest. He squeezed back. And then she let go and disappeared off the side of the boat. There was a splash. A whoop. Olivia held her arms out and Luci was in them.

  Perry found himself gripping the railing of the boat like a drunk.

  Below came the joyous burst of laughter and splashing. The sun prickled in the late-day sky. Perry turned away, just in time.

  Emma

  Alicia was mad at her. Again. “What do you mean you went out with them?”

  “Hang on, and I’ll tell you.” Emma was at the crafts table helping one of her campers assemble a dream catcher. The little boy was having trouble with the yarn.

  “I can’t cut it,” he complained.

  “It’s okay,” Emma said, taking the length of yarn from him. “I’ll help you.”

  Alicia stared impatiently across the table. “Like, you went out out? At night?”

  Emma nodded. “Here, I’ll hold the yarn tight, and you cut it. That’s right. In the middle.” She held the yarn between her two hands and smiled at the boy, trying to ignore Alicia’s outraged expression.

  “But I thought you hated them.”

  This got the little boy’s attention. “Hated who?” he asked.

  “Keep going,” Emma said, redirecting him. She helped him write his name in marker on a piece of masking tape and affix it to the dream catcher. The end result was loosely tied and slightly crooked, but as far as she was concerned that’s what made it camp-perfect. “Your mom will love this,” she told him, and he beamed.

  Alicia waited until the first grader galloped off after his friends before resuming her interrogation. “So what happened? Tell me everything.”

  That was the thing. Emma didn’t really feel like telling Alicia much. It was the double-edged sword of being best friends for so many years. Like a favorite pair of jeans you’d had forever: they were comfortable. Every rip and fray told a story. And on a bad day when nothing else looked right on you, you knew you could tug them on and feel pretty damn good about yourself. But the fact was, they could also be outgrown.

  Emma didn’t like to think of herself as outgrowing Alicia. They’d been best friends for as long as she could remember, and for good reason. But since high school had started, Emma felt restless. She liked her friend, but sometimes she longed for new ones. Alicia liked to make fun of the more popular kids, dissecting the gossip they heard after a weekend party or mocking the way those kids strutted down the hall.

  “Did you hear how much Courtney Jacobsen drank at the keg party? I heard she was literally licking the walls.” She and Alicia would criticize their clothes, their predictable inner circle squabbles, their smug expressions. “They’re such jerks,” Alicia would say, and Emma would laugh or nod in agreement. Emma used to find it funny, but lately it only highlighted for her how much on the outskirts they were socially. Emma watched the popular group sitting together in the cafeteria and wondered what it would feel like to casually set her lunch tray down, laying claim to her seat at that table. Deep down, Alicia probably wondered the same. And now Emma had had a taste of what it was like to sit at that table. If only for a little bit.

  “It wasn’t a big deal,” Emma said now, as she scooped up remnants of yarn and collected glue bottles. “They wanted their Wild Turkey back. When I gave it to them, they sort of invited me out.”

  Alicia stared at her wide-eyed. “Which one invited you?”

  This was where Emma had trouble hiding her smile.

  “No. It was him?” Alicia’s expression darted across the rec room and landed on Sully, who was playing Ping-Pong with two little girls.

  There was no denying it.

  Alicia narrowed her eyes. “Spill.”

  It was still so hard to believe. As soon as she’d climbed into the boat, Emma had felt a rush. Like she’d gotten away with something. But that feeling had quickly faded, replaced by dread. Almost immediately the bottle of Wild Turkey was opened and passed around. Amanda Hastings was driving the boat, and going so fast that it lurched against the water, jostling them about and against one another. At first it seemed funny, but after slamming her knee against the side so that she still had a bruise two days later, it was less so. When the bottle was handed to her, Emma was so busy trying to hold on that she didn’t even have time to think. She took a deep swallow, and instantly regretted it. The spicy bourbon slid down her throat like liquid heat, making her choke.

  Sully leaned over. “You okay?”

  She’d wiped her mouth on her sleeve and nodded. He clapped her on the back, and laughed. “You’re funny.”

  The next time someone passed the bottle, she took a deeper sip. After that, an easy warmth spread through her limbs. It took the edge off, made the rocking boat less worrisome. She was able to sit back and listen to the others.

  There was Dewey, Chris Dews, who was a junior like Amanda. He was on the lacrosse team with Sully, and known to be a smart-ass. And Kyle Tiller, another junior, who was dating the third girl in the boat, Courtney Jacobs. Courtney sat next to Amanda at the wheel, the two talking and laughing between themselves, as Amanda steered them around the lake. “What do you guys think? Chicken Rock?”

  Emma knew Chicken Rock. She’d jumped off it the summer before with Alicia, something her father did not and could not ever find out about. It was a well-known rock on Candlewood. Boaters pulled in as close as they could and swam the rest of the way in to the base. There was a rope swing about midway up, off a ledge that jutted out into the water. That was child’s play, frequented by plenty of kids and their parents. The highest point above it was Chicken Rock.

  “Yeah,” Kyle shouted over the roar of the boat. “Let’s do it.”

  “In the dark?” Emma asked. But no one answered.

  They drew up to the base of the rocks, and Amanda cut the engine. “Are we putting down anchor?”

  “I’m staying,” Amanda said. “You guys go ahead.”

  Dewey tugged his shirt off and pounded his chest. Emma could see the pale flash of skin in the darkness. If Amanda was staying put, that meant Courtney probably was, too. Emma glanced around, unsure of what to do. The thrill she’d felt coursing through her moments earlier had chilled, and suddenly she wondered what she was doing here.

  “Aren’t you jumping?” Kyle asked the other two girls.

  “Too cold,” Courtney said. She lifted a can of beer to her lips, and Emma wondered where it had come from
. Nobody had offered her one.

  “Well, I am.” Beside her, Sully stood up and took his shirt off, too. There was a general bustle as flip-flops were kicked off and the guys crowded around the bow.

  Emma remained frozen in place, feeling more invisible than she had before. The initial buzz from the liquor was now making her feel a little dizzy. Nobody seemed to care if she was going or staying.

  The boys took turns leaping into the water, whooping and hollering. The boat rocked violently in the wake of their sudden exodus. And then it was quiet again.

  Emma hugged her knees to her chest.

  “Did you hear what happened to Jacklyn?” Courtney asked, suddenly.

  Amanda was staring off in the distance, watching the boys. She lit a cigarette and inhaled sharply. “No.” She didn’t seem interested, but Courtney went on anyway.

  Emma feigned interest in the dark shoreline, her eyes fixed on imaginary objects. The boys must’ve reached the rocks by now. She pictured them scrambling up the ledge.

  “Her parents found out she went to Glen Robinson’s kegger, and they grounded her for two weeks. Can you believe that? Now she’s going to miss my birthday party.”

  Amanda exhaled. “That sucks.”

  Emma wondered at Amanda’s coolness. Was Amanda annoyed that she’d tagged along?

  “Glen had a kegger?” she asked. The two turned sharply as if noticing her for the first time, and Emma bit her lip in the darkness, instantly regretting it.

  “Last week,” Courtney said. Then, turning her attention back to Amanda, “Are we still going to the mall tomorrow? My mom took away my credit card.”

  Emma sank back against the side of the boat, wondering how long the boys would be. And if they were sober enough to jump off and safely swim back. This whole thing was stupid. Suddenly she wanted to get off the boat and away from Courtney and Amanda’s trivial conversation.

  “So, you’re friends with Alicia?”

  Emma looked up. The only thing she could see was the orange glow of Amanda’s cigarette tip.