The View from Here

by Hannah McKinnon

  He didn’t even turn around. “But it’s your dream, Phoebe.”

  She watched irritably as he got in the car and reversed out, her eyes fixed on the taillights as he headed down the driveway.

  Jed fussed in her arms. The frozen bag of peas she still clutched was causing her hand to go numb. Behind her, from inside her dream house, the lights flickered again. Phoebe went back inside and slammed the door.

  Olivia

  “Please, can I go, Mommy?” Luci pressed her lips against her mother’s ears. They were cold and wet with lake water, and Olivia giggled and pulled away.

  “I don’t know, honey. That’s a fast boat. Why don’t you wait until later and we can go together?”

  “But I want to go for a boat ride.”

  Olivia sighed. She’d just sat down and kicked her sandals off. Amelia and Jane had invited her to join them, and Jane was emptying the remains of a lovely bottle of Riesling into their glasses. The engagement party had ended moments ago, and the last guest was still making his way across the lawn to his car. The remaining family was gathered around the patio table loose with social fatigue, drinks, and sun. Only the kids seemed to have enough energy left to play down by the water. Jane had done a swell job.

  “Nothing too fussy,” her future mother-in-law had promised from the beginning. “Just us and some good food.” And to Olivia’s delight, she’d kept to her word.

  Initially, Perry had offered Jake and Olivia his clubhouse, with its vaulted ceilings and exposed beams, its sweeping views of the water. Olivia had liked the idea, at first, but Jake hadn’t. “Too stuffy,” he’d said. “Not my thing.”

  When Perry pressed further, expounding on the catering staff and the ballroom, where weddings were held, Olivia understood. They had no desire for white linen and crystal goblets. They wanted to gather the people they were closest to. “We’re going for more of a rustic vibe,” Olivia had explained, after thanking Perry for the offer.

  “There’s an antler chandelier in the ballroom,” Perry said. “The clubhouse is rustic.”

  “But the members are not,” Jake joked. “Thanks, Perry. But we want to keep it simple.”

  Perry had looked dejected. “Well, maybe for the wedding,” he’d mumbled.

  In the end, a luncheon at the Goodwins’ lake house was perfect. Jane and Edward had hosted a small clambake on the patio by the water. Jane set up one long farm table overlooking the dock and dressed it with a traditional French tapestry tablecloth which doubled as a gift to the couple, something that touched Olivia deeply. It was covered with vases of fresh-cut hydrangeas, arranged simply in silver pitchers. For lunch there were grilled littlenecks with beer and butter, corn on the cob, barbecued steaks, and salmon. An old red canoe filled with ice held bottles of wine, champagne, and cans of Jake’s favorite IPA. There was a dessert table with tart lemonade and airy orange zest meringues topped with whipped cream and mint leaves.

  Marge and Ben were invited, along with neighbors, and some of Jake’s colleagues from the Audubon Nature Center. Childhood friends popped in with their own young families or partners. Olivia was introduced to so many people her head spun, and that was before she’d even had a glass of champagne.

  Exhausted by the festivities, she wanted nothing more than to take a nap in the hammock over by the cedar trees. But Luci had other ideas. She wagged her head. “Pleeeeease! Emma is here. I want to go on the boat.”

  Olivia glanced across the yard at Emma, who was making her way toward them. Jake adored her and was always going on to Olivia about what a bookworm she was, what a levelheaded kid. Luci had taken quite a shine to her. There were several times Olivia could almost feel Luci start to say something to Emma, so much so that she saw the words forming on her daughter’s lips. And then Luci would catch herself, and say nothing. It was something she’d not done with anyone new, and Olivia wanted to encourage it. Spending more time with Emma could be good for her.

  “You haven’t been out on that boat before,” Olivia reminded her. By then Emma had reached them. She held up a purple life vest.

  “I think this one will fit her,” Emma said. “That is, if you’re okay with her going.”

  Olivia smiled. “You’re reading my mind. But still…”

  Luci pressed her lips against Olivia’s ear insistently. “Please.”

  Behind Emma, Jake hollered from the dock, “You want to come, too, baby?”

  Olivia did. But not at that moment. She was having her first ever real conversation with Amelia and Jane, and she really wanted to get to know them better. The shade was nice and cool. And the glass of wine was perfectly crisp.

  “Jake is an excellent boater,” Jane said. “You don’t have to worry.” She tipped her face toward the sun, contentedly. “The lake is in his blood.”

  In that moment, Olivia felt her earth shift on its axis. She wanted that contented air Jane Goodwin possessed. Her family surrounding her. A beautiful home on the lake. And the knowledge that everyone who mattered to her was right here, right now.

  “Okay,” Olivia said to them all. “Luci can go.” Then, “Be careful!”

  Luci pressed her lips to her mother’s and giggled. Then she darted off with Emma, hand in hand down to the dock. Olivia watched as Jake helped Luci into the boat, then checked her purple life vest. She breathed a sigh of relief.

  “We’re all set!” he called up to her.

  The engine purred, and Olivia stood to wave goodbye. “Be careful!” she called back. “You’ve got…”

  “I know,” Jake said, finishing her sentence. “Precious cargo.” As if on cue, Luci turned and waved goodbye.

  Olivia watched them back slowly away from the dock, then turn out toward open water. Her stomach rose to her throat as the boat grew distant and Luci’s purple life vest grew faint. She would have to get used to this. They were going to live here. They were going to be lake people, like the Goodwins.

  When she sat back down, Olivia pushed her sunglasses higher up on the bridge of her nose and sipped the last of her wine.

  Jane turned to her. “See? You look like you were born here.”

  Olivia’s insides fluttered. From across the table Amelia smiled in agreement, and poured them each another glass of wine.

  Perry

  Jake wanted to take Perry’s boat out. His glorious still-new Chris-Craft 230 Sport Deck. That Perry himself had taken out only four times since purchasing it. It was parked at the northern point of his parents’ dock like a promise of summer, and all through the party Perry had been approached by so many guests who’d admired it and inquired about it that he’d barely had time to tip back a juicy clam, let alone finish his meal.

  “Come on. Let’s let her stretch her legs,” Jake said. Boat talk for heading out into open water.

  Perry had imagined this moment with his little brother for a long time. Years, perhaps. Jake wanted what he had.

  It wasn’t that Perry wanted to show off. Well, maybe, just a little. It was that he wanted a moment on the water with his family that was his. All his life he’d driven Phoebe and her friends around, towed Jake as he water-skied with reckless abandon, listened to his father comment on his brother’s athletic prowess. How his little brother owned the lake. How, as his mother said, the lake was in his blood. Now Perry was the one with the house and the powerboat on the water. He had a beautiful family, a successful career. It was his turn to take a spin on the lake and take them all with him in his boat. That was his plan for the afternoon.

  But now, lounging on the patio, his Wayfarer sunglasses hiding the weary expression in his eyes, Perry could not bring himself to stand up and leave. He was overcome by the lavish late-day sun and too engrossed listening to Olivia talk with his wife and mother. About growing up in the restaurant in New York. About her temperamental and fiercely loving father, and the food he made for the people he loved. About what it felt like to sculpt: to stand before a cold earthen square of clay and set the palms of your hands against it, letting the clay choo
se its form. The lilt of Olivia’s voice was an intoxicating accompaniment to the sun on his skin and the wine in his veins. Perry was entranced. Immobilized. And deeply ashamed.

  When Jake had found him on the patio and asked if he could take Emma and Luci out on the water, Perry’s impulse had been to stand up and shout, “No! I will take them. I will take all of you.” But the thing was, Perry was already taken. Down a path he’d had no intention of treading and yet could not deviate from. As long as Olivia Cossette kept talking, he was helpless to stop listening.

  “Here.” Before he could second-guess himself, he handed Jake the keys. “Be careful.”

  As he stretched his limbs and listened to the women talk, he thought, I should really try to follow my own advice.

  Emma

  She had always wanted a younger sibling, but given the choice, she’d have picked a sister in a heartbeat. Luci looked nothing like her. Her eyes were dark and curious, just like her mother’s. And Luci did not speak. At least not out loud. But as far as Emma was concerned, Luci spoke plenty with her eyes and her toothy grin. With her squeals of delight as she leaned over the boat and pointed. At the blue heron standing on one leg in the shallows of the shore. At the massive four-story Adirondack-style timber house on the hillside that Uncle Jake called Paul Bunyan’s mansion. At the water-skiers and tubers skipping across the lake’s choppy surface. Because of the good weekend weather there was a lot of traffic out there, and Jake had to concentrate.

  Emma was still fiercely hungover from the night before. Bleary-eyed, really. She’d kept her sunglasses on all day so that her parents wouldn’t notice. She had not wanted to get out of bed and come on this family outing. She was tired and likely even still drunk from the night before with Sully and Kyle and Amanda and Courtney. But she was glad she’d rallied.

  Luci pointed to Jake. “What?” Emma asked, softly. “Do you want to drive the boat?”

  The little girl shook her head.

  “Do you want to help Jake?”

  Luci nodded. Emma wished Olivia were here to see that. She knew it would make her eyes water with hope.

  “Hey, Uncle Jake!” she called. He turned, a big smile on his face. That was the thing with her uncle: he was always so happy. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was related to her father. “Can Luci come sit with you and help steer?”

  Jake slowed the boat to a standstill. Tentatively, across the rocking boat, Luci made her way over to him. “Come on, Lu,” he said, petting his lap. Emma smiled as Luci climbed onto him behind the wheel.

  “Hang on,” she said, grabbing his phone from where he’d set it down on the seat. “Let me take a picture.” She’d have to show Olivia later.

  Emma watched Uncle Jake hold Luci on his lap. Pointing out all the sights along the shore. A natural, Emma thought. Luci didn’t have a father, but he would make an excellent one. She couldn’t wait for Jake and Olivia to get married.

  “Hey, Em. I’m thirsty. Toss me a beer, will you?”

  Emma reached for the cooler. She was also hot and thirsty, desperate for a bottle of water or an iced tea. But the only thing left in there was beer. She handed her uncle one, relishing the feel of the cold can in her hand. The label was neat, two bright green and blue lizards. Double IPA. She wondered what it tasted like.

  She glanced at Jake, whose back was to her. He was always so cool, but she doubted he’d be cool with her having one. Even though the stories about him at her age suggested otherwise. Still. It was so hot out. And her throat was so dry. He wouldn’t mind that much, would he?

  Ahead of them was a pontoon boat full of people. As they pulled alongside it, several pointed at them and waved.

  “Gorgeous boat,” an older gentleman called out.

  As Jake thanked him and waved back, Emma slipped her hand into the icy depth of the cooler and grabbed two cans. Quickly, she stuffed them in her beach bag by her feet. It was almost too easy.

  The sun beat down and her mouth watered. “Let’s drive along the shore,” Jake called back to her.

  Emma tried to keep her voice even. “Sounds good.”

  As he steered them along the shore, she pulled her beach bag onto her lap and reached inside. Quickly, she popped open one of the cans and took a big gulp. The beer was strong, but cold. With her eyes on Jake and Luci’s backs, she tipped the can to her lips and guzzled the rest of it, careful to tuck the can back into her beach bag. A few moments later, she reached for the other one.

  As they motored along the shoreline, Emma leaned back against the bench and let the wind tousle her hair. It wasn’t so long ago that she was riding the bus home on the last day of school, feeling like she had nothing to look forward to. She closed her eyes. Summer is looking pretty damn good, after all, she thought.

  Olivia

  When the emergency room doors slid ajar, the first thing she noticed was the arctic blast of cold air. It smacked her in the face, stilling the urgent heat that had coursed through her skin since the call from the paramedics had come through.

  Olivia had no recollection of sprinting across the Goodwins’ yard for her car. She would never recall the drive in, or how she got there ahead of the others. What she would forever remember about that moment was the initial surge of hot panic turning to ice as she stumbled into the lobby of the emergency room. How everything swerved to a sudden frozen halt.

  The receptionist looked up. “May I help you?”

  “I’m looking for my daughter, Luci Cossette. And my fiancé, Jake Goodwin. They just arrived in an ambulance?”

  The receptionist glanced around her desk at paperwork, then checked her desktop monitor. Finally, she typed something into her computer.

  “From where?”

  “Lenox.”

  “You are the girl’s mother?”

  Olivia nodded hastily.

  “You need to go to the registration desk.” The woman pointed around the corner, to another counter.

  Olivia exhaled. The only thing she needed was to find her child. “But my daughter just came in by ambulance,” she managed, her mouth so dry she could barely articulate the words. Was this what Luci felt like when she couldn’t talk? “Can you at least tell me how she is?”

  The receptionist regarded Olivia coolly. “Yes, which is why you need to go around to registration first. Do you have your child’s insurance card?”

  “Her name is Luci, and I just want to know if she’s okay.”

  “I can look up her information after you register.”

  Olivia grasped the edge of the counter, as if holding on for life. “I will give you whatever information you need. Please, just tell me where my baby is.”

  The receptionist pointed around the corner. “If you would just head over to registration with the insurance cards, we can complete the process.”

  “Here!” Olivia flung her purse onto the counter and dumped it upside down. The contents spilled out, a shimmering array of money and pens and small bits of paper. Coins clattered to the floor. She thrust her wallet at the woman and screamed, “Take it all. Just tell me where she is!”

  The receptionist rolled her chair back. “I think we need security.”

  At that moment, Perry materialized at Olivia’s elbow. “Excuse me,” he said. “My name is Perry Goodwin; my daughter Emma Goodwin was also just brought in on the same ambulance. We are all here together.” His voice was calm, decisive. He took Olivia’s wallet from her and extracted her insurance card, which he handed to the woman. Then he wrapped one arm around Olivia and directed her away from the counter. “Come sit.”

  Amelia was already seated in the waiting room, along with Jane and Edward, who were wringing their hands, and pacing, respectively. When had they all gotten here? Amelia patted the empty seat beside her sympathetically. A security guard rounded the corner, and Olivia sat.

  Perry returned to the counter and continued addressing the receptionist. Olivia could feel the woman’s eyes on her, but she could not make out what Perry was saying, between th
e roaring in her ears and the crackle of the security guard’s walkie-talkie.

  “It’s okay,” Amelia was whispering. “We’re going to find out where they are.” She seemed calm, but Olivia couldn’t help but notice the whites of Amelia’s knuckles where she gripped the edge of her own chair.

  Olivia put her face in her hands. There was no one to call. Her sweet Jake was somewhere behind the closed doors with Luci and Emma. Her father, Pierre, was far away in Europe. There was no one else, except Ben and Marge. But she couldn’t even remember where her phone was. Had she left it on the deck back at the Goodwins’ house? An image of spilled cups and half-eaten plates of food left on the deserted patio table came to mind. She pictured stray beach towels and overturned chairs littering the plush lawn. Like a scene from a movie after a mass exodus.

  Someone put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped. It was Perry. “We can go now.” Amelia also rose, and the two flanked her like bookends as they moved down the hall to a large set of doors. A bell chimed, there was a swoosh, and the double doors to the emergency department swung open. Olivia allowed herself to be propelled inside.

  A nurse in pink scrubs met them. “Goodwin family?”

  “Goodwin and Cossette,” Perry said.

  She checked her clipboard. “This way,” she said. “Room seven for Cossette, and room nine for Goodwin.”

  They followed the nurse around a maze of cubicles where doctors and orderlies lingered and laughed, where computer monitors flickered, as if it were any other afternoon in any other office. Why wasn’t anybody hurrying? This was an emergency room.

  But then Olivia’s eyes landed on a doorway. “Number seven,” Perry said. “That’s Luci.”

  Olivia broke away from them. “Luci?” she called.

  There was no reply. She tugged aside the blue curtain. There, in the bed, beneath an oversized blanket was Luci. She was sitting up, conscious and eyes wide.