Promises to Keep

by Kathryn Shay

  “Yes, I just didn’t plan to tell you.”

  “Ever?”

  “Ever.”

  Tenderly, she slid her arms around his neck. His hands came around her back, and he drew her to him. Burying his face in her hair, he held on to her.

  Understanding, she waited, let him regain some composure. Then she inched back, wanting to see his face. His green eyes were like live fire. But he wasn’t smiling, and brackets creased his mouth.

  She raised her hands to his face. She said simply, “I love you, Joe Stonehouse. I love you, too.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Well, Brenda thought wearily, at least her hands had stopped shaking. The early afternoon sun shone through her window, creating a disgustingly cheery atmosphere. She’d been up only an hour, having not slept well through the night. She’d called in sick at work.

  It was the dreams. They’d come again.

  As she glanced up from the computer screen, her gaze caught the bottle of liquor on her desk. So what if she’d had to doctor the coffee with vodka? It was the fucking dreams that had caused it. No big deal. She was still in control.

  She didn’t want to think about the dreams, but she couldn’t stop her mind from going there. Conrad had kept popping out of the shadows all night. At first, his face was normal—the big shit-eating grin, the ears that stuck out, his receding hair. Just the way a father should look. But throughout the dream, he metamorphosed.

  First he became the porno counterfeiter the Secret Service had arrested in New York. Where Brenda had met Joe.

  “Don’t think about this,” she said aloud. “Conrad would want you to follow through on your plan.”

  She forced herself back to the present. Staring at her notes, she reminded herself that she had an appointment with an editor in New York City in two weeks. Just enough time to get this outline done. To soothe her nerves, she lit a cigarette, took a long drag, then typed, Section 1: The Stark Statistics: school shootings in America. Columbine of course; Sandy Hook, Virginia Tech. More.

  Her fingers stopped as she typed Elmira, New York. A pipe bombing, targeted for the high school, was averted because the bomber told a girl he knew, who then reported it to a resource officer.

  Kids don’t snap. These incidents are well planned. The shooters tell other kids.

  In the Elmira case, because the school had openly discussed with teachers and students what they should do if they got wind of a threat, a kid had told an adult, and a tragedy had been averted.

  “Don’t think about it, Brenda.” Her voice was hoarse from all the Marlboros. Determinedly, she finished section one, outlining the findings of the FBI, the Department of Education, the American Psychological Association, and finally...ta da...the Secret Service.

  Did they go too far? she wrote with flair. Where was her research on the First Amendment? She fumbled with her folders. Her hands were shaking, and she noticed the pasty color of her skin. “Shit.” Again her eyes strayed to the bottle. Maybe just one more dollop in the coffee. What was a dollop? She poured out the booze and sipped the drink, savored it. Then she went back to the computer. Section 2: The Precipitating Event: Josie Callahan was an honor student, beloved by all, including her family—one of whom just happened to be...

  Images from the dream came again. This time Conrad emerged from the shadows as Al Callahan. His face was ravaged as he stood before a coffin. Then he turned to his wife, and his whole demeanor changed. Whore, he spat out, and walked away from her. Stonehouse appeared by her side, brought his sister close, and told her not to worry, he’d take care of her like he always had.

  Then Conrad became Stonehouse. Against her will, Brenda remembered something else. Something real...Stonehouse with her.

  She’d waited after that counterfeit/porno press conference to see where the agents would go. Apparently it was time to celebrate, because she followed them to a quiet bar in the Village. Joe drank a lot of champagne, and she’d seduced him back to her apartment. Though she was pretty drunk herself, she remembered that he was good in the sack.

  “Type,” she told herself. Section 3: The Plan of Action: Modern high school. Has the typical problems of any secondary institution—vandalism, kid attacks teacher (remember Rush Webster)…High school principal Suzanna Quinn is the epitome of honesty.

  Brenda grabbed for another folder on her desk. Late last night she’d found information on Suzanna’s father by tracing military records. There in black and white, had been Carson’s entire history. His victimization. His disgrace. His suicide. That personal story would add a dimension to the book. Could she get Suzanna to talk about it from a daughter’s view?

  In the last dream, Conrad had come as himself again. Hey, kiddo, what the hell are you doing? Suzanna loves you like a sister.

  Her head began to pound, and she rose from the computer. She could do this. She could. With all these side stories, there’d be no way the book wouldn’t sell, wouldn’t hit the Times list.

  “Concentrate,” she said to herself. She needed more information on the younger set. More insight into Kelsey Cunningham. What was going on with her and the handsome young agent?

  Brenda paced. She was betraying everybody.

  “Freedom of the press,” she said aloud, and went back to the computer. Section 4: Enter Starsky and Hutch. No, scratch that, it was too dated a reference. She picked up the green file labeled Agent L. Luke Ludzecky. This was easier to stomach. She might even get some laughs out of it. Seven sisters who idolized their brother. His high school transcript had been absurdly simple to obtain. Even his disciplinary folder. He’d been a rebel all right. Somebody had even put notes in the file from Stash Ludzecky to the school about his son. Didn’t take Einstein to theorize how he’d let the old man down.

  Idly, Brenda sighed and leaned back against the chair. Her phone rang and she let it go to voice mail. Let the person leave a message. Afterward, she checked it.

  “Hey, Brend, it’s me, Suzanna. I wondered how you were. School’s out this week, but I’m...a little tied up. Maybe we can get together, though. I miss you. Call me. Um, not at home. Call at school. Or on my cell.”

  Not at home. That was odd. Why not call her at home? What was going on at home? Absently, she picked up the bottle and drank. Was Stonehouse staying there? Maybe Brenda would just drive over and scope out the situation. Do a little of her own spying. At least she’d forget the dreams.

  Buzzed by the liquor, she typed in Section 5: The Juicy Details.

  o0o

  Kelsey’s eyes were gritty and her shoulders ached. She’d come downstairs to do the dishes and straighten the house, and had ended up on the couch in the living room; she was trying to figure out where her head was at, but she was so tired she could barely think straight. Lying down, she closed her eyes. Luke was asleep upstairs. Suzanna had called to say she and Joe would be home soon.

  Luke.

  Suzanna.

  Deceiving her.

  Get it together, Kel. This isn’t the end of the world. No, of course it wasn’t, but trust had never come easily to her after her father’s total disregard of her needs. Suzanna was the one person she’d been able to count on.

  She had no choice. Don’t be an idiot about this.

  Sinking farther down into the pillows, she stretched out—and admitted she was overreacting. For one thing, she was exhausted, and she never had a handle on things when she was this tired. She’d found it almost impossible to sleep with Luke so close by. Mostly she was worried about him. Every few hours, she got up and crept through the connecting bathroom to see if he was all right. The last time she’d checked, he’d been sleeping on his stomach, and the crisscross pattern from the outside light they kept on all night cast him in harsh planes and angles. She was hard pressed not to touch him, had stood over him, watching him breathe deeply and clutch the pillows.

  Climb in, baby...

  I’m great in bed...

  If you think for one second I’m letting you go...

&nbs
p; She wanted to scream. The doorbell rang, and it startled her already frayed nerves.

  Webster? No, he wouldn’t announce his arrival. The chimes sounded twice more, then she snuck out to the foyer. The noise could wake Luke, and he needed his sleep. Through the side window, she saw Brenda Way on the porch. Kelsey smiled. She liked Suzanna’s irreverent college roommate. They had become friends.

  But oh, dear, Luke was upstairs. The bell again. Shit. She had no choice but to pull open the door.

  The alarm buzzed loudly. “Oh, hell,” Kelsey said, and punched in the code.

  From the porch, Brenda frowned. “Kelsey? What are you doing here? And why is the alarm on in the middle of the afternoon?”

  Think fast. “Oh, well, I got hurt last week, and, um, I’m staying with Suzanna for a few days.”

  “Yeah, I heard about that.” Brenda looked past her shoulder. “Can I come in?”

  Panicky, Kelsey said, “I just took some painkillers and I’m...”

  “Jesus Christ, woman, why the hell are you openin’ that door?” Luke’s voice came from above.

  Kelsey closed her eyes. Just what they needed. For someone else to know. Well, at least it was Brenda. Kelsey pivoted. Luke stood at the top of the steps. He wore only his navy blue boxers and the rib bandages.

  In his hand, he held his gun.

  He wavered a bit.

  “Luke, what—”

  He grabbed the railing.

  Kelsey flew up the stairs. “What are you doing out of bed?”

  “I heard the alarm go off.” Sweat had beaded on his forehead. She slid her arm around him, and he hissed with pain.

  “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay.” He glanced down, saw Brenda, and seemed to relax. “Help me back to bed, honey.”

  Dimly aware of Brenda coming inside, Kelsey held onto Luke and assisted him back to the room. God, he was big. And muscular. His weight was heavy on her. His legs were corded with sinew, too.

  She got him to his room and eased him into bed. He set the gun down on the table. He was sheet-white, and sweating.

  “You want something?” she asked. “Some water?”

  His breath came hard. “Yeah. I was asleep, and bounded out of bed when I heard the alarm.” He swore. “I’m better, damn it. I guess I just can’t move that fast.”

  “Oh, Luke, I’m sorry. I should have answered the door sooner.”

  His eyes cleared. He grabbed her and tugged her down to the bed, where she fell half on top of him. “Sorry enough to kiss and make it better?”

  She was inches from his face. “Luke...”

  “Well, isn’t this cozy?”

  Startled, Kelsey looked up to find Brenda standing in the doorway. The older woman was smiling. And something else. There was a gleam in her eye. Oh, God, she thought Luke was a student. Kelsey’s head spun as she tried to figure out what to do.

  Brenda stumbled into the room. It was then that Kelsey noticed how shaky the woman was. Unsteady on her feet. Jittery. She reached the bed and picked up Luke’s gun.

  “Hey, careful, Brenda, it’s loaded.”

  Careful, Brenda? Did Luke know her? How could he?

  Brenda set the weapon back down. She weaved a bit, and Luke and Kelsey exchanged puzzled looks.

  Abruptly turning to Kelsey, Brenda said, “So, is the young agent as good in bed as his partner? I can vouch for Stonehouse’s performance...”

  Kelsey’s world tilted. The young agent. She stared at the newspaper reporter, then at Luke. “I thought...I thought...you told me only Ross Maloney knew about the undercover.”

  “Honey, listen—”

  From downstairs came a shout. “Luke! Kelsey!” It was Joe’s voice.

  Luke said, “Shit!” and yelled, “Up here.”

  There was pounding on the stairs. Joe raced in first. Gun out. Raised. He halted, and blew out a breath. “Jesus Christ, Brenda what are you doing here?” His gaze went to Luke, who shrugged.

  Suzanna rushed in behind Joe. “Oh, God, we were so scared. The front door was ajar. We thought Webster might have gotten in.” Her gaze rested on Brenda. “Brend, what are you doing here?”

  Everyone stared at Brenda.

  Kelsey stood and moved away from the bed; she wrapped her arms around her middle. “Brenda knew about this whole thing, didn’t she?”

  Suzanna and Joe exchanged a guilty look.

  “You said only the superintendent knew.”

  “I–”

  “You lied again.” And Kelsey was just beginning to reconcile the whole deception in her mind.

  “It wasn’t exactly like that.”

  Infuriated, Kelsey wanted to strike out. She glanced from Suzanna to Joe. “So, Agent Stonehouse, does Suzanna know you’re sleeping with Brenda?”

  “What?” Suzanna’s voice was hoarse.

  Joe stiffened, then ran a hand through his hair. “Son of a bitch.”

  “Guess not.” Kelsey had gone cold. She shook her head, disgustedly. “You two are a pair of goddamned liars.” With that, she ran out of the room.

  She’d reached the bottom of the stairs when Stonehouse caught up with her. “Where are you going?” he demanded, grabbing her arm in front of the door.

  “I’m leaving here.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “You can’t make me stay.”

  “I can try.” Suddenly he seemed to tower over her. Her eyes widened. But then his whole demeanor softened. “Kelsey, Webster attacked Luke. He’s in town.” Joe glanced to her knee. “He already hurt you once.”

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Brenda on the landing.

  “Think this out. Don’t be foolish.”

  Kelsey was pissed, but she wasn’t stupid. “All right. Let go of me. I won’t run off.”

  Joe sighed and stepped back, catching sight of Brenda. His look was homicidal. “What the hell are you doing here?” he said angrily. “Taking notes?”

  o0o

  Suzanna stood in her den and stared out the bay window. The weather was warming up. The grass was green. Spring would be nice.

  “Suz.” Brenda’s voice came from behind her.

  Suzanna turned around. Her friend was in the doorway, looking...odd. Though dressed in tailored beige slacks and a white shirt, she seemed unkempt. Even her hair didn’t look normal. “Brenda, are you all right?”

  “Sure. I’m fine.”

  Suzanna studied her. “Have you been drinking?”

  “No, of course not. Why?”

  “You’re acting strangely.”

  Shakily, Brenda ran a hand over her face. “I am a little out of it. I took cough medicine and an antihistamine. I’m not feeling well.”

  “I know. I called you at work and then at your house.”

  Brenda moved farther into the room. Up close, her face was drawn. But it was more than that. Suzanna couldn’t put her finger on it. “That’s why I came over here.”

  Suzanna fiddled with her turquoise earring, toyed with the matching bracelet. “You knew I wasn’t home. I told you to call me at school. What’s more, you upset everybody up there. Surely you see that.”

  “I did? It seems to me Miss America’s the one who was out to get you.”

  So, Agent Stonehouse, does Suzanna know you’re sleeping with Brenda?

  “Kelsey’s upset.”

  “She knows that Luke and Joe are agents, doesn’t she?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did she find out?” It was a reporter’s query.

  Suzanna felt chilled and stepped back. “Brenda, I don’t want to keep talking to you about this operation. Joe has asked me not to discuss it a thousand times.”

  Brenda regarded her carefully. “Why did Kelsey think it was necessary that Joe tell you he and I—”

  “I don’t want to talk about that, either.” She could barely think about Kelsey’s words, had blocked them out after she left Luke’s bedroom.

  “You’re sleeping with him.”

  “That’s none of
your business, Brenda.” This from the doorway. Joe.

  Closing her eyes, Suzanna wished for a little time alone to collect her thoughts. Kelsey was holed up in her room, and Suzanna had come down here to calm herself and think.

  Brenda faced Joe. “Oh, hell,” she finally said. “I’m going home.” She crossed the room and squeezed Suzanna’s arm. “We’ll talk later.”

  “All right. Be careful driving if you’re on that medicine.”

  Brenda brushed past Joe, and Suzanna turned back to the window. She sensed him come up behind her. Only hours ago she’d been ecstatic at his declaration of love. Now, she felt...she didn’t know what she felt.

  “What are you thinking?” He didn’t touch her.

  She waited a moment. “That you told me this had never happened to you before.”

  “This?”

  “That you’d never gotten involved with someone during an assignment.” She hesitated. “That you’d never felt this way about anybody. Or did I misinterpret the last part?”

  “No, you didn’t misinterpret anything. Both are true.” Gently, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “I met Brenda after an assignment had just ended, and my team and I were celebrating. We were together once, Suzanna.” His voice was hoarse. “I’m not into one-night stands, but I’d had too much to drink and it just happened, I guess.”

  “How did Kelsey find out about you and Brenda?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. Luke’s fit to be tied. He’s ranting about God knows what, and I can’t calm him down.”

  “So many lies.”

  He kneaded her shoulders. His hands felt good on her. How would she live without this, now that she’d had him?

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve hurt you again. Maybe we should stop this thing between us now. If you’re feeling like this already, what will happen when I leave?”

  Ah, the agent was back, slowly taking over the man.

  Suzanna thought about his hoarsely uttered words as he loved her. Oh, God, sweetheart, I want this so much. I want you so much. And later, I like what I become with you. It’s how I am with Ruthie, my family. And once, when he woke up in the night, You make the loneliness evaporate, lady...