Opened Up

by Eva Moore

  Not to mention the fact that he was covered in dirt and grass clippings, and all he wanted to do was collapse in his shower. He didn’t want to talk to anyone until he felt vaguely human again.

  So when he pulled up to his house and saw her car parked in front, he sat in his running truck in the middle of his narrow street, mind spinning with questions. What the hell? A honk from behind him cleared his head enough to pull into his driveway. He climbed out of the truck, dusted off the dirt as best he could, and went in the front door.

  “And these curtains, well, they came with the house— Adrian! You’re home.”

  “Hola, Mamá. Sofia, what are you doing here?”

  “That’s no way to welcome a guest, Adrian. Sofia came by to see you, but was kind enough to keep me company until you got home. We were just talking about redoing the living room.”

  “What? What’s wrong with the living room?”

  “Nothing. It’s fine.” Graciela stepped back from the annoyance in Adrian’s voice, but Sofia wasn’t going to let his bad mood spoil his mother’s joy.

  “It’s fine, but it’s not great. It’s dark and outdated. I was just talking to your mom about easy ways we could fix that.”

  Adrian felt his cheeks heat and his shoulders crept toward his ears. He only hit this level of embarrassment when Mamá chewed him out in front of his sisters. That Sofia could elicit it with a simple critique of his living room was not good. And didn’t that just piss him off even more.

  “Mamá, if you didn’t like the living room why didn’t you tell me? I will fix it for you.” He bent down to unlace his boots, frustration turning the bows to knots.

  “It is fine, and you have enough to do. Besides, Sofia offered to do it when I get up the nerve to go see Mahalia and the baby, so you should be happy I’m actually thinking about visiting.”

  That was a big deal. If it took Sofia dangling a reno carrot to motivate his mom, he wouldn’t argue, but it still rubbed him the wrong way. Why hadn’t she said something to him? He would have fixed the living room if she’d asked. He pushed away his guilt and focused on his mother.

  “You tell me when you want to go, and I will clear the whole weekend.” He crossed to his mother and kissed her on the forehead before heading into the kitchen. “If you want to talk about something, Sofia, can it wait until I’ve had dinner? I’m starving.”

  “Actually, I just…”

  Sofia gestured to the kitchen, but Graciela cut her off while she bustled to the fridge.

  “Here, mijo, take this upstairs. Put it in the oven for half an hour. There’s enough for two.” She pulled a ceramic baking dish from the fridge and pushed it into his hands. “Now shoo. You two have a nice night. And thank you, Sofia. It’s been a long time since I had something to look forward to.”

  “It will be my pleasure, Graciela. I’m already getting inspired.”

  Good Lord. What was she going to do to the living room? Tear down a wall? Make an outdoor living space that would send his mother running to her bedroom? Lay diagonal hardwood floors?

  “Come on.” He jerked his head toward the stairs, in a move he knew he’d hear about from his mother later. But damn it, he was tired, hungry, and filthy, and now apparently was going to have his living room torn up because Sofia didn’t like it. What the hell? She ducked back into the kitchen, and he didn’t bother to wait, plodding up the stairs in his stocking feet.

  Sofia didn’t speak until they reached his apartment. He set the casserole on the countertop and scrubbed his face and hands in the kitchen sink. It wasn’t until he dried his face on a towel that he realized she hadn’t followed him into the space. She warily held out a bottle of champagne from the top of the stairs.

  “Congratulations.”

  “What’s this for?”

  “I came by to celebrate the Shah project. They loved it, but I can tell you’re not in the mood, so I’ll just go.”

  “Stay.”

  The word was out before he thought about the implications, but he wouldn’t take it back. Yes, he was in a shit mood, but he didn’t want her to go.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I just worked an extra four hours shoveling mulch and manure to cover for Rico so that he’s not out money because he got the flu. All I wanted was some dinner, a shower, and my bed. And I walk in to find you criticizing my home. I’m entitled to be a little cranky.”

  “I wasn’t criticizing your home. I was trying to help. I came in, and your mother was reading in the dark. You can’t tell me you like that living room. I’ve seen your taste.” She gestured to his own apartment as she finally crossed the threshold.

  “I ask if she wants me to fix anything up around the house. She always says it’s fine.”

  Sofia looked at him, eyes full of pity for his feeble male brain, and it pissed him off. “When a woman says something is fine, it’s never fine.”

  “Noted.”

  “Look, I don’t want to make you mad. She just looked so sad when she talked about not seeing your sister and the baby, and then I had the thought, and then it was out of my mouth. I don’t have to do it if you don’t want me to.”

  “I’m okay with whatever she wants, and if it works to get her out of the house, I will kiss you.” An awkward silence fell between them when she didn’t respond. Dammit, he hadn’t meant it that way. Well, he would like to mean it that way but she’d made it pretty damn clear that was off the table. This was why he shouldn’t be around people right now. Why hadn’t he sent her on her way? Maybe if she got out what she needed to say, she would leave and he could retreat with a beer to his shower. “So the Shahs liked the house?”

  “Oh, I can’t wait for you to see the video.” She bustled around his kitchen, turning on the oven, grabbing two tumblers, and unwrapping the champagne as she spoke. Damn. She was planning to stay. “They loved everything. They had so many nice things to say about you and your crew. They really noticed that the details were done right. I guess they’ve lived in some places that could use your care and attention.”

  She popped the cork on the champagne with a grin, and he barely noticed the wine bubbling over onto his table. His attention had gotten caught on her lips. Why did that smile make him think stupid things? Paired with the warmth of her words in his chest, she was hard to resist. She traded him a tumbler for the casserole of rice and pork, which she popped in the oven before raising her own glass in a toast.

  “Here’s to the end of a job well done and the start of a new adventure.”

  He clinked his glass to hers and drank deeply but wondered what she meant by that. What did she think was a new adventure? The pilot? The partnership? Them? It wasn’t just the bubbles making his head swim.

  “I’m glad it went well.”

  “I haven’t even told you the best part. While we were in the nursery, Farha’s labor started! They are at the hospital right now, so they will get to bring home the baby to the house we made for them. Isn’t that wonderful?” She side-hugged him in her enthusiasm, and it took every ounce of control to let her go again.

  “Glad we got it done in time. It would’ve been done faster without all the fussy stuff, but I’m glad they’re happy.”

  “You party pooper.” She laughed off his sarcastic jibe, and his throat clenched.

  She didn’t want him. She’d said as much the other night when he’d tried to drive her home. Why did her laugh still have the power to twist him up inside? Why was she here? His thoughts flowed from his lips like he’d forgotten to connect a shut-off valve. No filter, control gone. “Why are you here?”

  “I told you. I wanted to share the good news with you, and celebrate being done with the pilot.”

  Nope. Not good enough. He crossed to stand directly in front of her. No hiding behind busy hands.

  “You could have just called. Why are you here, offering to do favors for my mother, baking my dinner, drinking champagne in my apartment?”

  “I don’t know what you mean. Why shouldn’t I
be nice to your mother?”

  “That’s not… Don’t twist my words. The other night you told me off in no uncertain terms.”

  “I told you I didn’t want you to touch me without my permission. I told you I needed to drive myself home. I am allowed to say no when I choose.”

  “What am I allowed to do, huh? Am I allowed to do this?” He slid his free hand up the back of her head, letting her warm ribbons of silky hair thread through his fingers.

  She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. Not good enough.

  “Am I allowed to tell you how beautiful you are?” He set down his glass on the table and rescued hers from her limp grip before it hit the floor. “Am I allowed to say that I missed you today? That I couldn’t get your smile out of my head? That your laughter slays me? Look at me, Sofia.”

  She slowly opened her eyes, and they were glazed with desire. He stroked a finger over her cheek, and those beautiful blue irises hid again.

  “I need an answer, Sofia. Am I allowed to fall for you or not? Because if the answer is no, you can’t be here. It’s too hard.”

  Her head snapped up at that, eyes wide open, and he let every emotion show on his face, the longing, the desire, the anger, the frustration, the entire tangled web of emotions he felt whenever she was near. She looked him in the eyes, long and steady, not saying a word.

  Great. He’d stepped in it again. He dropped his head and began to turn away from her rejection, but she stepped in to him, bringing her luscious body flush against his, and slid her hand up the back of his head, mirroring his own position.

  “Am I allowed to fall for you back?”

  Adrian could barely manage a nod before his control slipped its leash, and he kissed her.

  There was a heady freedom in knowing that his kiss was wanted, desired as much as he desired to give it. She was actively kissing him back, welcoming his every foray, chasing each retreat of his tongue. God, she was sweet. Warm cinnamon and coffee flavors filled his senses, and his stomach growled loudly.

  She pulled back and clapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why are you apologizing?”

  “Because I’m jumping all over you before you’ve even gotten a chance to eat your dinner. I told myself I could wait, but clearly, I can’t.”

  Adrian grinned at her admission.

  “Well, yes, that was very rude of you, kissing me senseless in my own kitchen.” He pulled her back in close and kissed just below her ear, where the scent of Sofia was the strongest. “Dinner will be awhile, but I’m hungry now.”

  “You also said you wanted a shower and your bed. Does the order matter?”

  Chapter 20

  “Fuck the shower.”

  Sofia gasped as Adrian picked her up again and carried her into the bedroom. When he did that so easily, like she was a light little flower, her heart fluttered. She tucked her head into the curve of his neck, inhaling deeply, wanting to remember every detail of this fleeting moment. When he sat her down on the edge of his bed, she held that breath, hoping it would give her the courage she needed for this next step.

  “I want you right here, right now. Let me see you, Sofia. Let me have you.” He knelt in front of her, hands tracing over her hips.

  Doubt crept into her mind. Would he like what he saw? She clenched her thighs together and stiffened. He rocked back onto his heels.

  “What? What did I say?”

  Moment of truth. Did she want him more than she wanted to stay hidden? Did she trust him to try and understand? After all, he’d been paying attention. He’d noticed she wasn’t comfortable and had asked. Gathering her courage and her words, Sofia decided to try and explain her paralyzing emotions.

  “I’m afraid…”

  “It’s not your first time, is it?” Shock blanked his features and his hands stilled on her hips.

  “No. No, it’s nothing like that.”

  Adrian let out a deep, relieved exhale. “Thank God for that.”

  “It’s just been awhile…”

  He rose back up off his heels, scrambling her thoughts as he moved his hips between her thighs. When he whipped his shirt off over his head, she nearly swallowed her tongue. Each hard day of labor had given him the build of a god, and she wanted to trace every divot, dent, and curve. Preferably with her mouth. His arms alone made her drool. The strength she’d felt gentled for her tempted her to trust him.

  “Don’t worry, gorgeous. It’s like riding a bike.”

  She stopped him with a hand on his chest, needing him to slow down and listen, but jerked it back, singed by the heat pumping off him. She had words. Somewhere in her brain. Words she had to say, before she started thinking with her hormones and let him do whatever he damn well pleased. She leaned back, away from temptation. She needed to be clear and open with him, so he knew what he was getting into. If he was going to reject her, she needed it to be while her clothes were still on.

  “Wait.” His hands dropped from her hips to fist around handfuls of the comforter beneath her. He tilted his head down and held her gaze, waiting as she’d asked. She cleared her throat and pushed her shame out of her mouth.

  “It’s been awhile, and I wasn’t this heavy before. I haven’t been with anyone since I gained all this weight, and I’m nervous to let you see me.”

  Sofia blurted her painful confession and then fixed her eyes firmly on the floor. She could feel the tears building at the corners of her eyes and prayed that she wouldn’t embarrass herself any further than she already had.

  “Hey.”

  Adrian hooked a finger under her chin and lifted, forcing her to face him and her fears in the same glance.

  “Hey, there. It’s just me. Let me tell you a little story and see if it helps, okay?”

  Sofia nodded, caught in the warm sincerity in his eyes.

  “Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was scared and lost, alone in the world of men, looking for somewhere to belong.” His hands ran down her arms and around her back so he could pull her back to the edge of the bed to kiss her neck. “The king took pity on this boy and gave him a job carrying trash. One day, an angel walked across the job site.”

  He kissed his way across her collarbone and she shivered.

  “She wore cutoff jean shorts that barely covered her ass.” His hands skimmed down her back to squeeze his target. “And a tight tank top that clung to her in all the right places. When she walked, her high blonde ponytail swished and swayed.” Adrian moved one hand down her ponytail, deliberately gripping and tugging lightly. “He wanted her instantly, the way a seventeen-year-old boy wants, all heat and little reason.”

  Wrapping her ponytail around his fist, he tilted her face up for a brutal kiss that left her lips throbbing and aching for more. She tried to follow his lips, but he leaned back and continued his story.

  “But she walked right up to the king and said, ‘Hi, Daddy,’ and the boy’s dreams crumbled.”

  He slid his hands down her neck, over her shoulders, down her back. She barely remembered being that girl, and his hands were making it very hard to remember anything at all.

  “Then came the dark time, when the princess went away.” He reached behind her and unzipped the back of her skirt, fingers dipping lower to grip her ass and pull her closer. When he reached around front and began to slide her tight skirt up her thighs, nerves compelled her hands to flutter over his. He steadied them and kissed them, grounding her in the moment. “The young man was sad, but he understood her need to grow her own wings. And when she came back, Dios mio, could she fly!” Her hands still caught in his, he moved them to slide up her thighs, pushing the skirt ever higher. She was twenty-eight years old and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d touched her body and enjoyed it, shame free. She wanted new memories to replace the ones she couldn’t find. “The girl had become a woman, and everything the boy had felt for her before magnified.”

  He bent his head and licked the hammering pulse at the base of her throat and sh
e gasped as the pleasure shivered down her arms.

  “She wore sweaters to hide her lush, perfect breasts.” Adrian slid his hands over them reverently, before moving lower. “And jeans that molded themselves to her sexy hips. And lust tied the boy’s tongue, because she was so smart and beautiful and he felt so dumb and crude next to her.” He kissed his way to her ear and gently bit the lobe, then soothed it with his tongue. He whispered into her ear, “He had no right to think about putting his rough hands on such smooth skin.”

  How had she not known? Sofia was so entranced that she barely registered that his hands had traced back to her breasts. She gasped with sudden awareness when he squeezed them together and gently tweaked her nipples, sending waves of electricity through her system. She groaned with pleasure and broke the spell, and he released her.

  “What happened next?” she asked breathlessly, needing to hear the rest of the story.

  “He tried to better himself so she would find him worthy. But then tragedy struck. Her smile dimmed in the shade of grief, and he wished more than anything to find the way to make her happy again. He wanted her the way a man wants his woman, but he waited for the right moment to tell her.”

  He tugged her blouse free from her skirt and slowly slipped her buttons free, one by one.

  “Every day. Every damn day, the woman walks in the door, and the man has to remind himself that he cannot touch her. Her body has curved and rounded in all the best ways, and it drives him crazy that she can’t see it. He sees the girl she was and the woman she’s become, and he wants her with his whole heart.”

  His voice wavered and he lowered his forehead to her sternum. She held her breath while he chose his next words.

  “You slay me, Sofia. Let me make you happy.” His eyes rose to meet hers, and the plea in them made her tremble. “I see you, Sofia. Better than you see yourself. The only thing I don’t like about your body is that it makes you sad. Let me show you.”