All Wounds

by Dina James

  Funny. Rebecca never thought she’d miss him.

  But she did.

  w x

  “This thing itches, and it’s too tight,” Billy grumbled. He pulled at the tie at his neck for the tenth time, ripping it loose.

  “Billy! Leave that alone! Mrs. Reed! Billy’s messed up his tie again!” Robin said, exasperated.

  “For goodness’ sake, anubi! You can endure a bloody battle but not handle a few hours wearing a tie?” Nana scolded.

  “How’d I get roped into this again?” Billy asked as Nana fixed his tie once more.

  “You’re making Rebecca feel a little less out of place,” Robin reminded him. “With you there, no one is going to notice her, and for once, she’ll be happy not to be noticed.”

  Billy snorted and nodded toward the hallway entrance. “Gonna be hard for people to ignore that.”

  There Rebecca stood in a strapless gown of blue silk that perfectly matched the predominant shade of her eyes. The bodice gathered under her breasts and was held in place by a jeweled pin set with diamonds and light sapphires. The remainder of the floor-length gown fell from the empire waist in a smooth sheath to the simple blue low-heeled pumps she wore on her feet.

  Rebecca held up the hem of her gown so she wouldn’t step on it as she walked toward them. “I have no idea how I’m going to stay upright in these shoes. I can barely walk in them, let alone dance in them.” She reached to touch her hair. It felt weird, off her neck, done up in an elegant style that showed off not only her dark Healer’s mark, but the teardrop earrings she wore that were identical to the jeweled pin on her gown.

  A small choker of eight-pointed stars glittered at her neck.

  Rebecca smiled and tried not to blush at the open-mouthed stares of the people waiting for her.

  “I need to get the camera,” Nana said and left the room.

  “Same here!” Robin said, and dug into her clutch-purse for her cell phone.Rebecca cringed. “You guys! It’s just a dress!”

  “A phenomenal dress!” Robin said. “Look up, Rebecca.”

  “Ro-oooo!” Rebecca protested. “Put that thing away!”

  “Oh please,” Robin said. “Get used to it! Everyone’s going to be taking pictures of you tonight, so just deal!”

  “Maybe you should go without me,” Rebecca said, looking horrified as she glanced up at Robin.

  “No way,” Robin said. “Now smile. You look like a deer in headlights.” Billy snorted his laughter.

  Rebecca scowled at him.

  “Smile, Rebecca!” Robin prompted again. “Come on. Smile for the camera! Then I’ll take one of the gorgeous wolfy-boy!” Rebecca did smile at that. Robin snapped the photo with her cell phone.

  “Now one of you.” Robin took Billy’s photo as well and scowled as she looked at her phone. “Hey...it’s all fuzzy. Hang on, let me get another one.”

  “Don’t bother,” Billy said, grinning. “Photos of Ethereals never turn out. Why do you think there ain’t no pictures of us nowhere except bad sketches and horror movie props?”

  “Good,” Robin said with a haughty smile as she put her phone away and threaded her arm through Billy’s suited one. “I don’t want anyone else taking a good pic of my handsome date.”

  Billy groaned and shook his head, but Rebecca knew he was pleased.

  “Speaking of dates, where’s yours? It’s getting late, and the limo will be here at seven,” said Robin.

  “He’ll meet us there,” Rebecca said. “He’s...got some stuff to take care of before he gets there.”

  “If he looks half as good as you, then I can’t wait to see you two together,” Robin said with an impish smirk. “And he’d better be there. No way you’re walking into that room alone. Guys would be on you in five seconds, so he’d better be there to defend you!”

  “Hey! She’s got me!” Billy protested.

  Robin gave his arm a little shake. “No, I’ve got you, and I’m not letting you go for a second. Hope you know how to dance, Wolfy.” This time Billy grinned, even though he shook his head again.

  w x

  “Who is that?”

  “It’s Spot!”

  “Seriously?”

  “No way! Where?”

  “There!”

  Rebecca knew her face was beet red as she heard the quiet whispers and a lot of the not-so-quiet comments upon her entry into the winter formal.

  It was all she could do to put one foot in front of the other. Why Robin had insisted she go first was beyond her. She and Billy were supposed to be there to distract everyone so they wouldn’t notice her!

  “Who is that she’s with?”

  “You’ve got to be kidding!”

  “Ryan Dugan?!”

  “You expect her to do any better than him? ”

  “Just ignore them, Hot Stuff,” Ryan murmured to her. He had a grin plastered to his face, not caring that he was showing his fangs to everyone in the room. He saw Mr. Nairhoft was one of the chaperones and waved to him.

  “Would you stop that?” Rebecca hissed in a whisper. “Everyone is looking at us! They’re going to see your...uh...teeth.” Ryan grinned at her and winked. “They’l just think they’re fake. Something I did to piss off Nairhoft. Which isn’t bad really.” He let out a low whistle. “I knew he could move, but check it out.” Ryan indicated Robin and Billy with a jerk of his head. “Who knew the wolf had moves like that?” Sure enough, Robin had Billy out on the floor, dancing to an up-tempo remix of some song from the eighties.

  Rebecca was impressed. More so with Robin than Billy’s dancing ability.

  “Who knew she could dance in those shoes? She’s wearing the Empire State Building in duplicate! They must make her six feet tall!”

  “Billy doesn’t seem to mind how tall she is,” Ryan said as his arm slid around her waist. “How could he, in that dress. You can totally see she’s not wearing anything under it. I’m surprised her tight-ass dad let her out of the house in that.”

  “He didn’t. She changed at my house,” Rebecca said with a smirk.

  She looked up at him. “What? I told you I was just getting started on my delinquency.”

  “Nice! Now let’s scandalize the rest of this crowd with another surprise.”He pulled her close and led her onto the dance floor.

  w x

  “Did you enjoy the dance?”

  Rebecca smiled at the familiar voice that came from the darkest corner of her bedroom.

  She let go of the earring she was about to remove and looked at the familiar figure that stood there.

  “Not really,” she said honestly. “I don’t know what I expected. I’m never going to fit in, no matter what I look like or who I’m with.”

  “That’s not so,” Syd replied as he crossed the room to her. “You were in your own company. Your Helper, and two Ethereals. You fit in, Rebecca...

  just not with Regulars. I’m sorry that bothers you.”

  “It used to,” Rebecca said. “But not so much anymore. I used to want to fit in with the crowd, but tonight...” She shook her head.

  “Tonight?” Syd prompted in a whisper as he stopped in front of her.

  She looked up at him, and into his eyes despite every admonition she’d been given about doing so. “Tonight I only wanted to be here with you.” The words sounded cheesy to say, but it was what she thought, and she knew he would hear them in spite of any attempt of hers to shield them.

  Syd lifted his hand and curled his fingers in a slow gesture, and in them manifested a perfect white rose. He took her hand and pulled her to him, enclosing the rose between their joined palms for a moment before he laid it before the mirror she’d been using. “Though I could not accompany you, I am pleased that you went, if only so that I might see you dressed so beautifully.” Rebecca bowed her head to hide her blush. “Thanks to you. Thank you for the gown. And the loan of the jewelry. I wasn’t sure...when I’d see you...to give them back.”

  “They are a gift,” he said. “It would honor me if
you would keep them.” Rebecca started to protest—the earrings and brooch were diamonds, and antiques! Worth a fortune! It had made her nervous enough to wear them out, but keep them?

  “Without someone to make them beautiful, they’re simply rocks,” Syd replied to her unspoken thoughts. “If it makes you feel better, think of them as a late birthday gift. Please...keep them.”

  “Aren’t they...special to you?”

  “They are now.”

  He leaned down and captured her lips, stilling any further thought or words of protest.

  This time, Rebecca was sure she wanted to be kissed. Her arms slid around Syd’s neck as she returned his kiss, feeling for the first time that evening like herself.

  Like she belonged.

  “I thought you said...I thought you were...mad at me,” Rebecca murmured against his lips.

  “Why would you think that?” Syd asked as he rested his forehead against hers.

  “You...well...you said that...that there couldn’t be anything like this between us, and you haven’t exactly been around all that much more than you have to be lately, and have been sending Ryan to do stuff for you, and...

  and you know that...”

  “That you and he...got a little friendly? Yes, I know,” Syd said without a trace of accusation. “I know he cares for you much more than you realize.

  And you care for him.”

  “But not...not like I...he’s not like you,” Rebecca said. “I mean...he doesn’t make me feel like you do. He never has.” Syd pulled back and studied her for a long moment.

  “What?”

  “I’m trying to determine your true meaning,” he replied. “If you...feel for me because I’m...me, or because I’m a Master.” Rebecca’s eyes widened. He stil thought she liked him because he was. .

  what? Bewitching her, or something? Attracted by his power?

  “You’re human,” Syd replied to her thoughts again. “And easily...

  influenced.”

  “Oh,” was all Rebecca could manage as her arms fell from around his neck. That hurt to hear, and she didn’t know why. Tears burned beneath her eyelids and she fought not to cry. She didn’t want to cry in front of Syd.

  Then he really would think she was making it all up. Using her tears to show she was serious or something. Rebecca hated it when girls cried to get their way, and didn’t want to be one of them, or have him think that’s what she was doing.

  But damn it, that really hurt to hear him say. That’s what he thought, when it had taken her so long to figure out why her stomach tightened at the sight of him? Why her heart beat harder when she heard his voice? Why she always felt safe and comfortable in his arms, like she belonged in them?

  Why she couldn’t wait to get home and stay up all hours learning from him?

  Why she saw him every night in her dreams and hated the morning for taking him from her?

  “You dream of me?”

  Rebecca couldn’t reply in words—her throat had closed off, choked with her emotions. She could only nod and hate herself for the tears that escaped her control, and for being so emotional she lost the block in her mind and he’d heard her thoughts.

  “Hush,” Syd said as he gathered her into his arms.

  His compassion only made her cry harder. She slid her arms around his waist and hugged him tight to her as she buried her wet face into his shirt.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered when she could speak again. “I know this isn’t what you wanted. It’s not what I wanted either. I tried. I really did. Not only are you not human, you’re centuries older than me, you’re my teacher, you’re a leader of your people. I’m nothing compared to everything you are—”She felt Syd stiffen in her embrace.

  “Don’t say that—” he began.

  She pulled away to look at him, wiping the moisture from her cheeks as she went on. “There are a hundred reasons this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I told myself it was just...a dumb feeling. Not real. But it is. If you don’t want to be around me, I understand why, but it won’t change the way I feel. The way I really feel. This isn’t some idiot crush like you’re a cute guy from school or stupid made-up thing because you’re this big important clan leader!”

  “I didn’t mean that,” Syd replied. “It’s just...I wanted to be sure. If we’re going to acknowledge the...something...between us, we should know what it is, don’t you think? I don’t want someone interested in me because they’re enthralled, or because being what I am makes them feel something that isn’t real.”

  The pained, earnest look on his face clarified his words for her. “You don’t have anyone already? I thought...you and Billy have said things about

  ‘her’ before. Who is she? I know you must care about her.” Syd nodded. “I do, a great deal. Her name is Aymi, and she’s a very special member of my clan. You’ll meet her, someday, when you’re both ready.

  She requires some extra care and supervision, but she’s not Lady Cardoza.

  There’s no merit in devotion without heart. I could have willing, adoring companions if I wished it. I don’t.” He reached for her again and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin atop her head. “I keep thinking back to that night you begged me to let you heal Ryan, in spite of my wishes.

  You said you trusted me. No one has ever told me they trusted me before.

  I’m a Master. Trust isn’t something I think about having. I just know it’s there. I suppose I just...always assumed I had it. Perhaps I confused obedi-ence for trust. To have your trust...I do not know why that frightens me.

  The thought of losing that, or betraying it in some way... Rebecca, I would never...I would sooner take a stake through the heart and be tied to greet the dawn than do so.”

  “I know,” Rebecca said. She stretched up and kissed him again. He returned it without hesitation. She deliberately met his eyes and held his metallic blue gaze. “Do you honestly think I’d fight with you if I didn’t care about you? If I...if I loved you because you were a Master, I’d have done what you said that night, like someone who obeys your every word. It’s how I knew what I felt wasn’t because you’re what you are, but because of wh o you are.” He peered down at her and smiled a little. “Forgive me for doubting you? And for doubting my own...inclinations?”

  Rebecca giggled and nodded. “As long as you don’t expect me to suddenly morph into some adoring girlfriend-type who thinks you’re a god, we’re good. You already know I’m not real great at that ‘obey Syd’ thing.” Syd laughed and smiled broader, showing his fangs. “I’m willing to forgive your obstinacy if you’re willing to...love me...even though I’m not human, centuries older than you, your teacher, and a leader of my people.

  Now let us also hope Martha forgives me for...bewitching her granddaughter.

  And that the Clan forgives me for—”

  Her brow furrowed at the faraway look on his face.

  “For...?” she prompted when he didn’t continue.

  “For falling in love with a Healer.”

  epilogue

  The mark on her neck tingled, waking her up. Voices whispered in Rebecca’s ear, adding to her state of awareness.

  The enclave was calling to her.

  She sat up, switched on her lamp and turned to her night-table. Ryan’s lucky lighter fell over. She smiled and used it to light the candle she kept at her bedside. She was about to set the lighter back on the nightstand, then looked at it for a long moment before she tucked it into her pajama shirt’s pocket.

  The whispering sound came again, reminding her of her purpose.

  Rebecca got out of bed and switched off her lamp. Taking the candle, she left her room and started down the hallway.

  A low growl reached her ears. Rebecca froze.

  “Where you think you’re goin’?” Billy’s sleepy voice asked.

  Argh. Rebecca had forgotten Billy was denning in the hallway entrance instead of his garage den this week. With the winter solstice approaching, he said he wanted
to keep a close eye on her just in case. Apparently he didn’t entirely trust Rebecca’s revocation of the oath of neutrality to keep demons out of the house.

  It’s too late for them to be interested in me now anyway, right? She was already seventeen.

  “I heard something,” Rebecca whispered.

  “Don’t hear nothin’,” Billy replied with a snort.

  Wow, he was grouchy when he woke up.

  “Hush!” Rebecca admonished, lifting her candle up a little so she could better see the stairwell. “I need to go up there.”

  “Not alone you ain’t,” Billy grumbled as he got to his feet.

  “Okay,” she whispered with a nod.

  Billy snorted again and got down on all-fours, nudging her hip with his shoulder in an Anubin gesture of reluctant acquiescence.

  “Thanks, Billy,” Rebecca said as she laid a hand on the werewolf ’s massive head between his ears.

  Taking a deep breath, Rebecca held the candle up high, well away from Billy. Together they went upstairs. Rebecca opened the linen closet door and reached in, pushing the knot that swung the shelves back and revealed the entrance to the enclave.

  Rebecca cringed as the movement of the shelves seemed to scrape the floor louder than usual. Was it always that loud? Or was it only loud because she didn’t want her nana to wake up?

  “Wait out here,” Rebecca ordered the anubi in a whisper.

  “Was going to,” Billy growled as quietly as he could. “You be careful.”

  “I will,” she promised.

  Billy growled and nodded.

  Holding the candle in front of her, Rebecca stepped into the passageway behind the linen closet shelves that led to the Healer’s enclave hidden behind it.

  Nothing greeted her. It was completely dark inside, but that didn’t mean anything. A lot of things needed complete, or nearly complete, darkness. It’s why she used candles and not anything brighter.

  “Hel o?” Rebecca called, remembering to use the low, soothing Healer’s voice.A tingle of fear tightened her insides and she fought to quell a shiver.