Faye Kellerman - Decker 04 - Day of Atonement

by Day of Atonement

  'Want me to look for him, Ez?' Jonathan said. To Decker he said, 'Noam wanders off all the time. Maybe now's a good time to reestablish some contact.'

  Ezra took off his hat, adjusted the black yarmulke underneath, then returned the hat to his head. He rocked on his feet for a moment, then said, 'Do you mind, Yonie?'

  'No problem,' Jonathan said.

  'I'll come with you,' Decker blurted.

  Rina gave Decker a look of surprise. 'Anything to get out of lunch.'

  Decker tossed her a smile laced with emotion. Immediately, Rina felt his sadness. What that smile had told her.

  Jonathan.

  His brother.

  Talk about establishing contact.

  Decker caught himself. 'I'm not trying to get out of anything. I just thought Jonathan might want to avail himself of my trained eye.'

  Everyone burst into laughter that held more relief than mirth.

  It was taking too long, everyone making desperate excuses for the delay.

  'They got lost,' Breina said. 'Go look for them, Ezra.'

  'That's ridiculous,' Ezra countered. 'Yonie grew up here.'

  'Yonie's been away,' Breina fired back.

  Shimon said, 'Yonie didn't get lost, Breina. Calm down. They'll be back soon. Yonie probably started talking to someone and forgot there are forty people waiting for him to come back. You know how he is.'

  'He's the absentminded professor, Breina,' Miriam said. 'Don't worry.'

  'He's impossible when it comes to time,' Faygie added.

  'Always late,' Rina's sister-in-law, Esther, chimed in.

  Rina didn't buy it. Even if Jonathan was irresponsible, Peter certainly wasn't. But she didn't say anything.

  Everyone was quiet for a minute. Ezra broke the silence.

  'I thought you were watching him,' he scolded his wife.

  'I had the girls,' Breina said. 'The boys are your responsibility.'

  'Noam's a year past bar mitzvah,' Ezra said. 'I should watch him like an infant?'

  'I'm not saying you should watch him like an infant,' Breina said. 'But you can keep your eyes open. You know how Noam is. Lost in his own world. Just like Yonasan—'

  'So if you know how he is,' Ezra interrupted, 'you can't keep your eyes open?'

  Breina repeated, 'He's just like Yonasan—'

  Frieda Levine broke in. 'Stop bickering, both of you. You're making all of us nervous.' But Frieda's sense of dread had started long before this happened.

  This was not something that would right itself. This was Yad Elokeem - the hand of God - punishing her, condemning her for not being strong enough. It had taken Him forty-one years, but she'd known that the time would come eventually. And now He had chosen the w..ixest of her sons, her most vulnerable grandchild, knowing how much it would hurt.

  Her lost child - had he come as part of God's vengeance? Or had he been sent for some other reason? Perhaps the Almighty in His infinite wisdom was also testing her. Perhaps she could earn redemption if she showed herself worthy - worthy of His mercy, worthy of Akiva's mercy.

  Whatever was expected of her, whatever she must do, she would do. She would be strong. To her husband, Frieda said, 'Make kiddush. Akiva and Yonasan will make their own kiddush when they come back.'

  Alter Levine was sitting at one of the folding tables, a volume of Talmud in front of him. He looked up when he heard his wife speak, but returned his attention to the Talmud when no one else moved.

  Ezra gathered his other children and asked, 'Who was the last one to see Noam?'

  Aaron, the eldest, said, 'He walked to shul with us, Abba. I davened after that. I didn't pay attention to him.'

  'He probably went to a friend's, Ezra,' Miriam said. 'He shows up at my house unannounced all the time.'

  'He does?' Ezra said. 'What does he want?'

  'I don't think he wants anything, Ezra.'

  •What does he do then?'

  'I don't know. I give him a snack.'

  'He can't come home for a snack?' Breina said.

  'It's part of being a teenager, Breina. Sometimes a snack at your aunt's house is better than a snack at home. Maybe he went to a friend's house for a snack.'

  'On Rosh HashanahV Breina said.

  'Maybe he went to your brother's,' Ezra said. 'If he went to one relative, maybe he went to another?'

  'Enough!' Frieda said. She turned to her husband and again instructed him to make kiddush.

  'No one is sitting,' Alter said.

  'Everyone sit down,' Shimmy said.

  'Where should we sit, Frieda?' asked Sora Lazarus.

  The next few minutes were spent trying to get everyone seated. Rina instructed the boys to sit at the same table as their cousins. She asked them if they had seen Noam. Both shook their heads no.

  Sammy whispered in his mother's ear, 'I didn't see him in shul today.'

  Rina said, 'You probably just missed him, Shmuel. Aaron said he walked to shul with them.'

  'He wasn't in shul,' Sammy insisted.

  'How do you know?' Rina said.

  'Because anytimel'min town, Noam'llhunt me out just to bug me. And he didn't bug me today.'

  Rinasaid, 'Maybe he's bored with bugging you.'

  'No way, Jose. He bugged me yesterday, first thing. He's a real jerk, Eema.'

  Rina sighed. The kid did have problems. And she knew why Sammy was hostile toward him. Behind Sammy's back, Noam had dubbed Peter and her with crudeepithets. Naturally, Sammy had found out about it. There had been a fight, and Noam, being older and bigger, had given Sammy a black eye. At the time, Rina had been outraged, about to make a huge stink. But Sammy implored her not to say anything to Breina and Ezra. She backed off, knowing that her son had been fighting for her honor and her interference might somehow emasculate him. The whole incident eventually blew over, but not without psychological ramifications. She was cool to Breina after that, aware that Noam's thoughts didn't originate out of nowhere.

  'Any idea where he might have gone?' Rina said.

  'I don't know and I don't care,' Sammy said. 'Noam's always getting into trouble. He's a mental case.'

  'Shmuli, try to be charitable.'

  Sammy gave her an impish smile. 'IsMrs. Levineserving us kid food or do we get to eat the good stuff like you guys?'

  Rina was about to launch into a speech, but Sammy preempted her. 'Forget it, Eema.' He kissed her hand. 'Go sit down.'

  Rina wanted to squeeze him and would have if they'd been alone. But alas, her boys were at that age - embarrassed by her hugs and kisses. So she j ust smiled at her sons, then found her place at the table. Her seat was sandwiched between her sisters-in-law.

  Alter Levine made the ritual blessing over the wine.

  Following kiddush came the ceremony of the washing of the hands, then the breaking of bread. With all the people and one sink, the washing and blessings took over ten minutes. Finally the meal was about to be served and six women jumped up to help Frieda Levine. Frieda instructed the guests to sit, her daughters and daughters-in-law would help her and there was no room in the kitchen for anyone else.

  Esther patted Rina on the shoulder and whispered, •You look pale.'

  'It's been a tiring trip,' Rina said. 'And this incident isn't helping.'

  Rina's other sister-in-law, Shayna, agreed. 'Poor Breina. Noam has been giving her such a rough time lately. Not a bad boy. Just doesn't have any sense. No sechel.'

  Esther said, 'Remember that fight that he and Sammy—'

  'Yes,' Rina said. 'He's a very impressionable kid.'

  'A lonely boy, if you ask me,' Esther said. 'This thing must be bad news. Why else would Ezra ask Akiva to look for him?'

  'Jonathan volunteered to look for him,' Rina said. 'Not Akiva. Akiva just went along to keep him company. Akiva doesn't even know what the boy looks like.'

  'Poor Breina,' Shayna repeated. 'It's tough to raise teenage boys.'

  Rina said, 'Shhh, she's coming.'

  The appetizer was served. Rina was on he
r second sweet and sour meatball when there was a loud knock at the door. Shimon and Ezra leaped up at the same time. Ezra got to the door first.

  Rina studied the men as they came into the room.

  Jonathan seemed anxious. Peter, on theother hand, was calm, expressionless - his eyes unreadable. His professional demeanor. That was really worrisome. For a moment, she flashed to those young faces plastered on milk cartons. The images were too gruesome to dwell upon.

  Ezra said, 'You didn't find him.'

  The women came out from the kitchen. Breina's lip started to quiver. Frieda began to stagger backward. Esther stood up and offered Frieda her chair. Ezra told everyone to just calm down. But he was anything but tranquil.

  'He's probably at a friend's,' Jonathan said. 'I didn't know all his friends—'

  'He wouldn't go without asking me,' Breina said. Her voice was shrill. 'They wouldn't let him come without asking me. Not on Rosh Hashanaft.'

  Ezra said, 'Did you check the house? Maybe he went home?'

  'Twice,' Jonathan said. 'If he's home, he's not answering.'

  'I'll go check,' Ezra said to Breina. 'I'll check his friends, your brother's house—'

  'I already checked Shlomi's house,' Jonathan said. 'He's not there.' He whispered a damn under his breath.

  Decker said to Ezra, 'How about if I come with you—'

  'No,' Ezra snapped. He hugged himself and exhaled slowly. 'No, that isn't necessary.'

  'Let Akiva come with you, Ez,' Jonathan said.

  'Why?' Ezra said. 'Do you think I need a policeman to look for my son?' He turned to Decker, his face was a mask of pure fear. 'Doouthink I need the police, isthatit?'

  'No,'Decker said.

  "Then why do you want to come?' Ezra shouted.

  Decker shrugged and said, 'Up to you, Ezra. You want some company, I'll be happy to tag along.'

  'I don't care who goes,' Breina shrieked. 'Just go.' She burst into tears.

  'Why don't the two of you split up,' Shimon suggested. 'It will go twice as fast.'

  Decker answered, 'I don't know who his friends are or where they live.'

  'I can take you to them,' Aaron, Noam's eldest brother, volunteered.

  'I don't need anyone with me!' Ezra protested.

  'Then go already,' Breina said.

  Frieda spoke up, 'Ezra, take Akiva with you.'

  'Mama, there's no reason for a policeman—'

  'Take him!' Frieda ordered. 'You shouldn't be alone right now.'

  Decker caught Frieda's eye. Outwardly, she seemed in control. Her voice was firm, no tears to be seen. Her hands weren't shaking but they were clenched into balls, her knuckles almost white. What he saw was a frightened grandmother, trying very hard to keep a tight rein on her emotions. An expression he'd witnessed countless times as a detective in Juvey Division. Time to put the past aside. He gave her a shrug that said the situation was no big deal. She shrugged back.

  Their first real communication: a series of noncommittal shrugs.

  Ezra, on the other hand, was losing ground to his anxiety. He continued to bite his nails. His posture was stiff, his feet frozen in place as if he couldn't quite figure out how to move.

  Not that Decker thought he was overreacting.

  Although the kid had been gone for only a few hours, the circumstances were unusual. The cop in him didn't like it. He was experienced enough to know that most of the time, the panic did turn out to be much ado about nothing. But he couldn't help thinking about the flip sides -those ice-cold, barely pubescent bodies lying on steel slabs in the morgue....

  He needed to prod them into action. He put his arm around Ezra and gently propelled him to the door. 'Let me come with you, Ezra. I can use the exercise. How many houses are we talking about?'

  'Where should I go, Breina?' Ezra asked of his wife. His voice cracked.

  Breina rattled off a list of ten names.

  'Piece of cake,' Decker said. 'You know all of the houses?'

  Ezra nodded.

  'OK,' Decker said. 'Let's get it over with.' He patted Ezra on the back. 'You lead.'

  He noticed Breina Levine had her hand to her chest. She seemed to be breathing rapidly. As he crossed the threshold of the door, Decker whispered to Jonathan to keep an eye on his sister-in-law.

  The food was served and the groups broke down into two categories: those who ate because they were nervous and those whose stomachs were shut down by anxiety. The wait seemed interminable. In fact, it took only an hour for Decker and Ezra to return. Breina Levme took one look at her husband's face and collapsed into a chair. Frieda rushed into the kitchen to get a glass of water for her. Decker said to Jonathan and Shimon, 'Send everyone

  except family home.' He paused, thinking about that.

  He was friggin' family.

  'You think it's bad?' Jonathan asked.

  It wasn't good, Decker thought. But there was no point in offering a worried uncle his professional opinion.

  'We don't know where the boy is. That's all we know right now. We don't know where he is. One step at a time. First, you clear the place. Send the guests home. Have the kids - the brothers, sisters, and cousins - wait in the back room. I'll talk to them in a moment.'

  It took fifteen minutes for everyone to find coats and jackets. People patted hands, reassured the distraught parents and grandparents. Nobody believed a word they were saying.

  When everyone was gone, Decker sat down at the dining-room table and tried to clear his mind of morbid thoughts. Perversely, all he could think about were the tragedies. The overwhelming grief on the parents' faces as he broke the bad news. It made his stomach churn.

  The table was still piled with food. But the salad had wilted under the weight of the dressing, the cooked vegetables had wrinkled, the edges of the roast beef had begun to curl. It was past four and Decker hadn't eaten all day. He needed nutrition if he was going to think clearly. He picked up a chicken leg and bit into it.

  'Sorry, but I've got to get something in my stomach,' he said.

  Shimon gave him a clean plate. 'Of course. Of course. You need to eat. Can I get you anything else?'

  'No, this is just fine,' Decker said.

  Absently, Ezra said, 'Mincha's in twenty minutes.'

  No one said anything.

  'Tephilaf Ezra said. 'I need to pray.' His eyes flooded with tears. 'Tephila! Tzedakah! Tshuvah!' He buried his head in his hands and held back tears. 'It's my fault... I don't learn with him anymore... I'm not patient enough—' •

  'Ezra, stop it,' Shimon said. 'You're a fine father.'

  With moist eyes, Ezra looked at Decker. 'I'm sorry.'

  'Don't apologize,' Decker said. 'It's tough. But there's still a lot we can do. Ezra, did you specifically ask your children if they knew where he might be?'

  'Yes. Yes, I did.'

  'And they don't know?' Decker said.

  Ezra shook his head.

  'Has Noam ever run away before?'

  'Not like this,' Ezra said.

  'But he's run away?' Decker asked.

  'No!' Ezra said. 'He wanders off sometimes but he always comes back. And he wouldn't wander off on Rosh Hashanah. There's no place for him to go.'

  No place in Boro Park, Decker thought. He turned to Jonathan and said, 'Whose Ford Matador is parked out front?'

  'It's mine,' Jonathan said.

  'Give me the keys,' Decker said. 'A car can cover ground we can't do on foot. I'll start as soon as I finish with the kids.'

  No one said the obvious. Decker's willingness to drive on Rosh Hashanah - violating the holiday - indicated a serious situation. Decker broke the moment of silence and asked Ezra for a picture of his son. Ezra said he didn't carry one with him, but his mother must have a couple of recent pictures somewhere. He'd dig some up.

  After Ezra left, Decker said, 'The best thing to do in

  situations like these is a door-to-door search. You people know most of your neighbors, which is a big plus. Ask if anyone's seen Noam today, and if so
, when was the last time they saw him. Ask the teenage boys - see if any of them look nervous and scared—'

  Decker stopped himself, regarded his two half brothers. Scared witless, shaken to the core. They stared at him as if he were speaking gibberish.