by Gina Wilkins
Brandy certainly didn’t sound like someone Mia would expect Connor to be involved with. But she supposed everyone made a few mistakes when it came to youthful romantic relationships. She had certainly made a couple, herself. She nodded. “Go on.”
He moistened his lips. “I got involved with Gretchen a few months later as sort of a rebound from Brandy. Gretchen was everything Brandy wasn’t. She was focused and normal and completely predictable. I thought we were perfectly matched. She was a dental assistant and she seemed to be content to be that and a coach’s wife. She didn’t encourage me to pursue a medical degree and I guess I used her as an excuse not to do so. I think the whole idea scared me at the time, even though it was something I’d always fantasized about. You know how it goes. I was twenty-two, been in school since I was five, thought I was ready to get on with my life…. I won’t say Gretchen and I were deliriously happy, but we got along well enough during the three years we were married. Until she ran off with the dentist, of course,” he finished with a grimace.
Mia had met him not long after that humiliation, when he was still stinging from his wife’s betrayal. She’d never met Gretchen, but from the few things he had told her, she doubted that she would have liked her very much, even though Connor had been very careful not to say anything too derogatory about his ex.
“Sounds like Gretchen had a little more in common with Brandy than you’d realized,” she murmured.
He winced and pushed a hand through his already-messy sandy hair. “Maybe I just have a knack for picking the wrong women.”
“You still haven’t told me why you think you have to quit medical school. Or what the lawyer told you that upset you so badly.”
The way his jaw tightened let her know that he was deliberately taking his time about that. Whatever it was, she could tell it was major.
“What I didn’t know when Brandy left was that she was pregnant,” he said after drawing a deep breath. “With my child. Apparently, she didn’t want me to know because she didn’t want that bond between us.”
“You have a child?” Mia asked, her eyes going wide.
He nodded, looking dazed again. “A little girl. She’s six years old. Her name is Alexis.”
“Oh, my God.”
He gave a short laugh that held no humor. “Yeah. That was pretty much my reaction.”
“And you never knew anything about this?”
“Nothing. I haven’t heard a word from Brandy since she took off, leaving me a note saying it had been fun, but she was ready for some new adventures.”
“And now she wants you to be a father to her child?” Becoming incensed on his behalf, Mia let go of his hands to clench her own into fists. “What does she want? Money?”
He shook his head. “No. It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“Brandy didn’t raise Alexis. She gave the baby to her mother in Springfield, Missouri, to raise, and then she took off again. A year ago, she was killed in some sort of accident in New Zealand.”
“She’s—”
“She’s dead,” he reiterated bluntly. “And as of two days ago, so is her mother. A massive heart attack. Which is why the lawyer contacted me.”
Connor watched Mia’s face as the realization dawned on her. “They want you to take the little girl?”
Still finding it hard to believe himself, he nodded. “Alexis has only one surviving maternal family member. An aunt, Brandy’s older sister. The aunt doesn’t want to raise the child. She thought I should be notified before she turned Alexis over as a ward of the state.”
“Oh.” Relaxing the fists she’d clenched, Mia twisted her fingers in her lap. “So they knew about you.”
“Brandy gave them my name. In case anything ever happened to her, she said, or in case her daughter ever wanted to know who her father was.”
“Do you think there’s any chance she lied? That you aren’t the father?”
“There will be paternity tests, of course, but Brandy was not a liar. She was almost ruthlessly honest about everything. Apparently, I’m even named as the father on the birth certificate.”
“So you believe Alexis is your daughter.”
She seemed to be trying to convince herself. He nodded, anyway. “If Brandy said she is, then I don’t seem to have any other choice. The lawyer—his name was Haskell. Art Haskell, I think. Anyway, he said it’s up to me what I want to do now, but I need to make a decision quickly. Brandy’s sister is giving me until Monday to decide whether to accept custody or to relinquish my parental rights so Alexis can be adopted by someone else.”
“But you’ve already made up your mind.”
He wasn’t surprised by her insight. Mia probably knew him better than anyone else in the world. “I have no other choice,” he said again. “She’s my daughter, Mia. I can’t just turn my back on her.”
His daughter. The words felt alien on his tongue. Somewhere in Missouri was a six-year-old child with his DNA. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a photograph Haskell had given him. “This is Alexis.”
He noted that Mia’s hand wasn’t quite steady when she took it. He could certainly understand that.
She studied the picture for several long minutes, then looked up at him somberly. “She looks just like you.”
He’d seen the resemblance immediately. Alexis looked like a feminized version of himself at the same age, down to the little dimple in her chin. “I know.”
“She really is your daughter.”
“I know.”
Handing the photo back to him, she shook her head as if to clear it. “Okay, I understand why you feel an obligation to her. But are you sure you want to take responsibility for this child you’ve never met and who has never met you? That’s an enormous undertaking.”
“Tell me about it,” he muttered. “At least most single dads have the advantage of being in the kid’s life from the beginning. I don’t know how she’s going to react to me. But what else can I do, Mia? Turn her over to the state? Would you be able to do that if it were your child?”
She hesitated a moment, then shook her head. “Of course not. Nor would I expect you to. That’s just not who you are. It’s not going to be easy, Connor, but you know that.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“Still, I can’t bear the thought of your quitting medical school. Not now.”
“I hate it, too,” he admitted glumly. “But what else can I do? You’ve seen how much of a time commitment it requires. There’s just no way I can handle that and raise a kid by myself.”
“Isn’t there anyone else who can help you? Someone from your family?”
“If my mom were still around, she’d be thrilled to help. She always wanted grandkids,” he said, sadness gripping his heart. But his mother had died of cancer. He still missed her every day.
“My only surviving grandmother lives in Nebraska and is in poor health, so she’s not an option. My dad is a great guy, but he’d be no help. He’s been a traveling salesman my whole life. Still travels a great deal. His concept of fatherhood was to play with me when he was home on weekends. The day-to-day practicalities of parenthood were all on my mom’s shoulders. He’ll spoil Alexis rotten when he meets her, I imagine, but as for being any real help…”
He shook his head. “I can’t afford to hire a full-time nanny, so that won’t work, either. Alexis will be in school during the day, but there are still evenings and weekends and holidays to deal with—hours I would have to spend studying to finish med school without flunking out. I just can’t—”
“I’ll help you.”
She had spoken quickly, as if on a sudden impulse, but her expression looked certain.
He frowned. “How could you?”
“I could move in with you,” she said, taking him completely by surprise again.
“Platonically, of course,” she added, as if there were any doubt. “My job is ideal for raising kids. I work during her school hours. We’d only need child care for a couple of h
ours a day and you could manage that financially. Evenings and weekends, I’ll take care of her while you study. I’ll do the cooking, the housekeeping, the laundry. I don’t have a lot of experience with young children, but I’ve got nieces and nephews around that age. I’m sure I can manage.”
“Why would you even consider this?” he asked, genuinely bewildered by the magnitude of her offer.
She shrugged and he could almost see her mind working. “It could actually be beneficial for both of us. You know I’ve been saving money to start graduate school after teaching for another year or two. Not having to pay the lease on this apartment would go a long way toward those savings. Your place is paid for, and I’d trade child care for rent there. I’d help you with some expenses, of course, but it would still save me several hundred dollars a month to share your house.”
It sounded to him as though she were trying to rationalize her impetuous offer. “It’s too much, Mia. I couldn’t ask—”
“You didn’t ask,” she broke in to remind him. “I offered. Think about it. This could be a win-win situation for both of us. I’ve even thought about taking an evening job in a bookstore or something to earn a little extra for my grad school expenses. This would save my having to do that.”
“Mia…”
“Connor.” She rested her hands on his again, her eyes locking with his. “You are one of the best friends I’ve ever had. You’re a good, decent man who’ll make a wonderful doctor. The world needs doctors like you. It would break my heart if you had to walk away from that dream now because of a youthful indiscretion. Wouldn’t you do the same to help me achieve my dreams?”
He wanted to believe he would do anything for Mia. She was such a good friend. Such a good person. Of course he wanted her to be happy. But what she offered was so overwhelming. So life-changing. Would he really be that unselfish?
“Why don’t you think about it tonight?” she suggested, seeing the conflicting emotions on his face. “Don’t do anything rash without at least considering what I’ve suggested, will you? I think we can do this, Connor. I think we can work together to provide a home for Alexis while you finish medical school and while I work toward my own educational goals.”
“I’ll think about it,” he agreed slowly. “But you need to do the same. You made an impulsive offer because you care about me, but you need to really consider what would be involved if you do this. Like you said, we don’t know this child. We don’t know what kind of raising she’s had, whether she’s been expected to follow rules or have respect for other people and their property. She could be a holy terror, for all we know. And you’re talking about spending every evening and weekend with her—what would that do to your social life?”
She laughed. “You, of all people, should know that I don’t have that much of a social life to worry about. I’m hardly a party girl.”
“What about the guy you went out with last night?”
She shuddered, giving the gesture an extra touch of drama for emphasis. “If I never see that jerk again, I’ll be quite happy, thank you. If I’d had to move his hand off my bottom one more time, I might have gone ballistic. As it was, his life was hanging by a very thin thread. I gave Natalie a piece of my mind later for setting me up with such a creep, but she swore she didn’t know he was that bad.”
The thought of some guy putting those moves on Mia made Connor’s blood boil. He told himself he’d have been as defensive on behalf of any of his women friends, and then tried to believe it. “You should have broken his fingers.”
“I considered it. I think he finally realized I was edging toward violence. He looked a little nervous toward the end of the evening.”
Her light tone invited him to laugh with her, but he couldn’t seem to tap into his sense of humor tonight. “It’s getting late,” he said. “I’d better go. Like you said, we both need to think about this.”
“I know my offer was spur of the moment, but I won’t change my mind. The more I think about it, the more I know it’s the right thing to do. It’s the only solution to your problem, and not such a bad deal for me, either.”
She’d obviously convinced herself. He was going to need a little more time to process. He’d had too much thrown at him today.
But there was certainly some appeal to the idea of Mia sharing his home. As a friend, of course, he assured himself as he left her apartment a few minutes later. A temporary solution to a very big dilemma.
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give her plan a try.
Mia shook her head when Connor looked at his watch for what had to be the dozenth time in the past ten minutes. “Constantly checking won’t make the time pass any more quickly,” she reminded him.
Looking sheepish, he dropped his arm. “I know. I’m just…antsy,” he admitted.
As if that was something she didn’t already know.
It was Tuesday afternoon, and the minutes were creeping toward 5 p.m., the time when Patricia Caple, Alexis’s aunt, had said she would arrive at Connor’s house with the girl.
Connor had offered to drive to Springfield to fetch the child, but Patricia had refused. Mia suspected she didn’t want Connor to know where she lived, for some reason. Maybe so he couldn’t return Alexis if he changed his mind about keeping her?
As if a child were a sweater or something that could be returned if the fit wasn’t perfect, she thought in exasperation.
Connor was a nervous wreck and she couldn’t say she blamed him. She could not imagine how it must feel for him to be on the verge of meeting the daughter he hadn’t known existed for six years.
She was more than a little anxious herself.
As she had promised him, she had not changed her mind about her reckless offer during the three days that had passed since she’d made it. Even though her parents had expressed concerns about her decision. Even though Natalie had asked her flatly if she had lost her mind. Even though she knew the gossips would have a field day with her moving in with Connor, despite her stated reasons for doing so. Even though she was occasionally overwhelmed with the reality of what she was doing, of how much responsibility she was taking on.
Just don’t let me mess this up, she prayed silently as she had quite a few times during the past few days. She hoped she was up to the challenge she had given herself.
The doorbell finally rang at 5:05 p.m. Stopping mid-pace, Connor took a moment to smooth his hair before moving toward the door, a gesture Mia found touching. He wanted to look nice when his daughter saw him for the first time. He was clean-shaven and dressed in a nice green shirt and neatly pressed khakis.
She, too, had freshened up after work, brushing her shoulder-length brown hair into a shiny curtain and donning a fresh pink top and gray slacks. Curious, she moved to stand behind him as he opened the door.
Patricia Caple was a tall, thin, bleached blonde with full breasts pushed upward into a black, scoop-necked sweater. Her high-heeled boots looked very expensive, as did her diamond earrings and the rings that glittered on her hands. It didn’t look to Mia as if money was her reason for declining to raise her niece.
“You’re Connor Hayes?” Patricia asked, giving him a long once-over.
He nodded, his gaze already going to the child half-hidden behind Patricia’s left leg. “Yes. You must be Patricia.”
Mia knew he’d already spoken to the woman by phone a couple of times and had expressed his sympathy at the loss of her mother and her sister. He’d told Mia afterward that whatever Patricia felt about those losses, she hadn’t shared her feelings with him. From what she saw now, Mia suspected Patricia kept her emotions locked tightly inside her carefully smoothed and perfectly made-up face.
“Yes. And this is Alexis. Say hello to your daddy, Lex.”
Patricia pulled the little girl forward as she spoke, and Mia was struck by her first sight of the child. She was a beauty. Her hair was still childhood-blond, although it looked as if it would darken with age. Her eyes, like Connor’s, were large and very dark blue, fra
med in long, dark lashes. Her little face was flushed, and the dimpled chin a bit unsteady when she gazed up at the father she didn’t know.
“Hello,” she whispered, obeying her aunt’s instructions.
Connor’s voice was husky when he responded. “Hello, Alexis. I’m very glad to meet you.”
She didn’t respond as she continued to look at him with searching eyes.
“This is Mia Doyle,” he said, including both the child and her aunt in the introduction. “My very good friend.”
Patricia gave Mia the same comprehensive assessment with which she’d greeted Connor. “You’re the nanny?”
“In a manner of speaking,” Mia agreed, knowing Connor had given the woman a brief explanation of the arrangements he’d made for his child’s care.
“She’s a good kid,” Patricia said somewhat off-handedly. “My mother raised her right. I guess she learned from the mistakes she made with Brandy.”
Mia didn’t know what to say to that.
Patricia turned toward her car. “I’ll get her bags.”
“Let me help you,” Connor said, moving forward. “Alexis, you can stay here and get to know Mia, okay?”
The child nodded, her somber eyes focused on Mia now. Mia held out a hand to the little girl. “Come into the living room, Alexis. We can get comfortable.”
Once again, the child obeyed without protest, sliding one cold little hand into Mia’s. Only then did Mia notice the somewhat grubby stuffed cat clutched in a death grip in Alexis’s other arm. “What’s your cat’s name?”
“Pete,” Alexis said quietly. “My mama gave him to me when I was little.”