EG03 - Home Is Where The Heart Is

by Joan Jonker

‘All right, don’t bite me head off! We’ll pick you up on the way.’

  ‘What! Me get in that contraption again? No, thanks, sis, me an’ Bill will get the bus.’

  ‘You’d be better off ringing first,’ Mary said. ‘You may make that journey down there just to be told you can’t see her.’

  ‘I’m still goin’, kid.’ Eileen sounded determined. ‘I’m not sittin’ here twiddlin’ me thumbs, worryin’ meself to death.’

  Only Eileen and Rene were allowed in the small side ward, and were told they had ten minutes only. Maggie looked exactly as she had that morning, her face white and drawn, her body perfectly still. Eileen, careful to avoid the tubes and drips, bent to kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, but there was no response. Maggie didn’t even know they were there.

  In the meantime, Bill and Alan went in search of the matron to try to get some information. They were not encouraged by what she had to tell them. The doctor had placed Maggie on the critical list. She could have visitors at any time. But only close family, and only two at a time.

  ‘I think we’ll keep that under our hat,’ Bill said, when the matron had bustled away, her starched uniform making a soft crackling noise. ‘I’m going to bend the truth a little.’

  When Eileen and Rene appeared, their eyes red with crying, Alan made a motion with his head to tell Bill he agreed. They were upset enough without burdening them with the extra worry.

  ‘We’ve had a word with the matron,’ Bill told them. ‘And with Ma being in a side ward, you can come in any time you like. But once she’s moved to the big ward you’ll have to keep to the regular visiting hours.’

  Maggie was taken off the critical list after a week and moved into the big ward. She was still very poorly, but the doctor said he was pleased with her progress so far. It was the longest week of Eileen’s life. Each day she sat by her mother’s bed talking and trying to be cheerful, while inside she cried. Maggie was a shadow of her former self, her skin didn’t fit her face any more, but hung in loose folds, and her eyes were dull and lifeless.

  ‘She’s tryin’,’ Eileen told Bill one night after Maggie had been in the big ward three days. ‘Yer can see her makin’ an effort to talk and smile, but it’s as if she ’asn’t got the heart.’

  ‘Honestly, Eileen, I don’t know what you expect! Isn’t it enough that Ma’s getting a bit better every day? Another week will see a big difference, just wait and see.’

  ‘The woman in the next bed is nice, very friendly. She said she’ll keep an eye on me mam for us.’

  ‘Can’t I go in and see her?’ Edna asked. ‘I could go tomorrow, it’s half day closing. I want to see me nan, and it would give you a break.’ Eileen was thoughtful for a while. She could do with an afternoon off, there was all that washing to be done. And the house could do with dusting and tidying, she’d let it go to pot over the last ten days. ‘Yeah, okay, sunshine, I could do with getting stuck into some housework. But tell yer nan I’ll be in at half seven.’

  ‘I’ll get her some nice flowers from one of the stalls by Central Station.’ Edna munched on a chip dangling from the prongs of her fork. ‘I’m dying to see her, it’s been ages.’

  ‘Ah, I was going to ask you to let me come in with you this afternoon.’ Mary looked disappointed. ‘I’ve even bought some grapes to take in with me.’

  Eileen laid the iron down and folded one of Bill’s shirts. ‘I was goin’ to get stuck into the bedrooms, kid, they look as though a bomb’s hit them.’ She saw the downcast look on Mary’s face, and tutted. ‘Okay, we’ll go in. But they only allow two visitors at a time, so we’ll get there ten minutes late to give our Edna a chance to talk to her nan.’

  ‘I’ll go and get me coat.’ Mary was already on her way down the hall. ‘Be back in two ticks.’

  ‘Remember when we used to come in an’ see your mam?’ Eileen asked, as they made their way up the long path to the hospital. Half way up, she stopped for breath. ‘This ruddy path gets longer every day.’

  ‘I remember very well,’ Mary said, linking arms to urge Eileen forward. ‘I was as worried as you are, but it turned out all right in the end, just like it will for your mam.’

  ‘This way, kid.’ Eileen steered Mary towards the ward door. ‘Come in with me an’ I’ll send our Edna out.’

  Maggie was in the fourth bed down, and Eileen’s eyes went straight to her. ‘Oh, my God!’

  Mary followed Eileen’s eyes and gasped. Edna was sitting one side of the bed and Joan opposite. She held tight on to her friend’s arm. ‘Take it easy, Eileen, don’t do anything to upset Maggie.’

  As they neared the bed, Joan glanced up and the colour drained from her face. She looked around as though seeking a means of escape, then felt Maggie’s hand on her coat.

  ‘Sit down, love.’ Maggie had seen Eileen and Mary before Joan had, and her initial sense of shock was soon replaced by one of happiness and a strange feeling of calm. ‘Everything will be all right, I promise.’

  Eileen neared the bed, her mind in a whirl. This was the last thing she expected, but oh, it was lovely to see her daughter. She bent and kissed her mother, then looked across at Joan. ‘Hello, sunshine.’

  ‘Oh, Mam.’ Tears squeezed between Joan’s closed lids. She wiped the back of her hands across her eyes, and her voice choked with emotion, she said, ‘I’ll wait outside.’

  Eileen watched her daughter flee down the ward before turning her gaze to Edna. ‘How did this come about?’

  ‘She wanted to come, Mam.’ Then Edna blurted out, ‘She wants to come home, too, but she’s frightened you don’t want her.’

  ‘Go out to her, lass,’ Maggie said, her voice sounding tired. ‘And make your peace with her. Life’s too short for arguments and anger. She’s a young girl who made a mistake and is sorry, so don’t be hard on her.’

  ‘Go on, Eileen, it’s what you want,’ Mary said. ‘I’ll just stay a few minutes because Maggie looks tired.’

  ‘I am, lass, very tired,’ Maggie admitted. ‘All I want to do is sleep.’

  ‘I’ll be in tonight, Mam.’ When Eileen bent to kiss her cheek she whispered softly, ‘I love you, Mam.’

  ‘And I love you, lass.’ Maggie smiled. ‘Go now and see your daughter before she runs away.’

  Eileen sat up in bed, her elbow leaning on the pillow. She watched as Bill undid the knot in his tie and pulled it from his collar. ‘Honest, yer could ’ave knocked me over with a feather when I saw our Joan. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, belt ’er one, or kiss ’er. And to think I wouldn’t ’ave seen ’er if Mary hadn’t wanted to go to the ’ospital.’

  ‘She’s been a very silly girl and I hope it’s taught her a lesson.’ Bill was standing on one leg, leaning against the wardrobe taking his trousers off. ‘That girl had no right to take her in, especially living the life she does.’

  ‘It was the Yank who did it.’ Eileen pinched at the fat on her arms leaving hollows that took a second to fill out again. ‘He probably thought he was on a good thing with our Joan, but ’e didn’t get anywhere with ’er. At least that’s what she says, an’ I believe ’er.’

  ‘Well she’s home now, thank God, so that’s one worry off our minds.’ Bill tied the cord in his pyjama trousers before throwing the bedclothes back and climbing into bed. ‘And Ma looked a lot brighter tonight. I think seeing Joan bucked her up a lot.’

  Eileen nestled into his body. ‘I asked ’er if she wanted our Billy’s room but she said she’d rather share with Edna. And yer should ’ave seen our Edna’s face when she said that, she was as pleased as Punch.’

  ‘I was going to mention that to you, chick.’ Bill slid his arm under Eileen’s shoulder and drew her close. Her body was so warm and comfortable it always relaxed him. Made him feel he was at home and all was right with the world. ‘I hope you don’t start making a fuss of Joan and leaving Edna out. That wouldn’t be fair.’

  ‘As though I’d do that! They’re both my daughters and I wouldn’t make fish of one and f
lesh of the other.’ Bill felt the bed shake when Eileen began to chuckle. ‘Anyway, our Edna wouldn’t let me. She can stick up for ’erself, that one, so yer’ve no need to worry about her.’

  Bill took his arm away and pulled the sheet over his shoulder. ‘Anyway, you had all your family together tonight when Billy and Mavis turned up, so perhaps we’ll see a smile back on your face.’

  ‘Yeah, all back together again, just as it should be,’ Eileen said. ‘And yer don’t ’ave to come to the hossie with me termorrer, ’cos Billy an’ Mavis want to come. So yer can put yer feet up an’ read the Echo to yer heart’s content.’

  Eileen listened to Bill’s gentle breathing, and when she was sure he was fast asleep she turned on her back, her face to the ceiling. In a low voice, she said, ‘Thank You, God, You’ve turned up trumps today. You ’ave given me my daughter back, and me mam’s on the mend. You really are me best friend and I’ll never forget You. I’m goin’ to be so good in future, You won’t know I’m the same person.’

  Chapter Twenty Two

  ‘Where are you two off to?’ Eileen gave a little skip as she followed her daughters down the hall. ‘Off flyin’ yer kite, are yez?’

  Edna opened the door and stepped into the path. ‘I’m calling in to our Billy’s, then going to Janet’s.’ A mischievous grin crossed her face as her sister joined her on the path. ‘Our Joan’s pretending she’s going to see our Billy and Mavis, but I don’t know who she’s trying to kid. She’s hoping to see Leslie Maddox, she’s got her eye on him.’

  ‘Go way!’ Eileen folded her arms and leaned back against the door. ‘Well I never . . . Leslie Maddox!’

  Joan shot her sister a dirty look. ‘Take no notice of her, Mam, she’s pulling your leg.’

  ‘Oh, aye? I suppose it’s just coincidence that he’s standing outside their door every time we go? And if you don’t fancy him, why d’you go the colour of beetroot every time he speaks to you?’

  ‘Oh, stop acting daft and let’s go.’ Joan linked her arm through Edna’s and pulled her away. ‘We won’t be late, Mam, ta-ra.’

  Eileen watched as they walked up the road arm in arm. Since Joan had come back home a month ago they’d become very close, and it did Eileen the world of good to see them so friendly. Now she only needed her mam home to make her happiness complete.

  Eileen heard a door bang, then saw Mary coming towards her. ‘Hi-ya, kid! Are yer comin’ in for a cuppa? Bill’s gettin’ changed to go to the ’ospital but it’ll be another ten minutes before he’s ready.’ She closed the door after Mary and followed her into the living room. ‘Have yer ever noticed, kid, that men are more vain than women? All I’ve got to do is run a comb through me hair and I’m ready, but Bill takes ages. Mind you, with my tatty ’ead it doesn’t look any different after I’ve combed it.’ Eileen gazed at Mary’s thick, curly blonde hair and grunted in disgust. ‘Every time I look at you I go green with envy.’

  Mary pulled one of the dining chairs out and sat down. ‘Harry asked if you and Bill would like to come for a run to Southport tomorrow night? We could stop at the Morris Dancers in Scarisbrick for a drink.’

  ‘We don’t get back from the ’ospital till half eight, kid, so it’d be too late.’

  ‘One of the others could go in for you, Billy or one of the girls. Come on, Eileen, the weather’s lovely and it would do you good. If your mam comes home next week you won’t get a chance to go out, not for a while, anyway.’

  ‘It’s not certain she will be comin’ out, we’ve got to wait till Monday to see if the doctor gives her the okay.’ Eileen straightened the runner on the dining table and gazed at it with a critical eye, making sure the ends that overlapped the table were even. ‘I’m keepin’ me fingers crossed, kid, and everything else that’ll cross. Except me eyes, of course, ’cos I don’t want to go around lookin’ like Ben Turpin.’

  They could hear Bill running down the stairs and Mary decided that she wasn’t going to give Eileen time to make excuses. ‘I’ll tell Harry you’ll be ready for seven tomorrow night.’

  Harry took the country route to Southport. It was a bit longer than going down the dock road, but the scenery was lovely. Especially when the sun was shining, as it was now.

  ‘It’s lovely down these country lanes, isn’t it kid?’ Eileen gazed out of the window at horses grazing in the field. ‘That cottage we passed before ’ad 1819 over the door, and this one,’ Eileen pointed as Harry slowed down, ‘was built in 1921. Yer’d ’ave a long way to walk to yer neighbours to borrow a cup of sugar, wouldn’t yer?’

  ‘An even longer walk to the nearest pub,’ Harry laughed. ‘We don’t know we’re born.’

  When they neared the Morris Dancers, Harry was about to turn into the car park when Mary tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Let’s go to Southport first and call here on the way back. There’s a smashing pianist plays here on Friday and Saturday nights, but he doesn’t start till about nine.’

  The fine weather had brought everybody out and Southport was crowded. Lord Street’s fine Victorian arcades were bright with flower baskets hanging at intervals the full length of the wide street, and summer dresses, that had been brought out of wardrobes at the sight of the sun, added colour to the scene.

  ‘Yer’d need plenty of money to live ’ere, wouldn’t yer, kid?’ Eileen paused to look in one of the high-class shop windows. ‘Look at the price of that dress . . . nine pounds nineteen and eleven! Blimey, I’d get a full rig-out for that sort of money in T.J.’s, including knickers.’

  They strolled up Nevill Street to the promenade and Eileen took a deep breath. She turned to Bill, who was walking behind, deep in conversation with Harry. ‘Fill yer lungs with that air, Bill, it’ll blow the cobwebs away.’ They walked slowly along to the marine lake and Eileen nodded at an empty bench. ‘Can we sit down for a while, me feet are killin’ me?’ She held out one of her legs. ‘Just look at me ankles, swollen up like balloons. The warm weather’s nice for some, but it sure don’t agree with me.’

  ‘You stay here and watch the sailing boats while I go and get the car,’ Harry said. ‘It’ll save you walking all the way back.’

  ‘He’s not a bad old stick, your feller,’ Eileen said to Mary when Harry had left. ‘Nearly as good as my Bill.’

  Bill was leaning on the railings around the marina. ‘Come and see the swans, there’s a whole family of them.’

  ‘Ah, aren’t they lovely!’ Mary joined him at the rails. ‘Come and see, Eileen, the little ones are gorgeous.’

  ‘I’ll ’ave to take yer word for it, kid. The spirit is willin’ but the flesh is weak. I’m knackered.’

  ‘It’s crowded, isn’t it?’ Bill looked over his shoulder as he pushed his way through the mass of bodies. ‘Is it always like this?’

  ‘Every time we’ve been it’s been chock-a-block,’ Harry said. ‘When you hear the pianist, you’ll know why. He can’t half tickle those ivories.’ He spotted two empty seats and pointed. ‘Grab those seats, quick. The girls can sit, we’ll have to stand.’

  The pianist was a man in his thirties, very ordinary to look at, but there was nothing ordinary about his playing. He could make the piano talk, and he knew which songs to play to get the crowd singing. After one sherry, Eileen was belting it out with the rest. ‘Smoke gets in your eyes’, ‘Talk of the town’, ‘Who’s sorry now’, all her favourites.

  ‘Someone’s enjoying themselves,’ Harry bent down to whisper in Mary’s ear. ‘It’s a long time since I saw Eileen let herself go like this.’

  ‘She’s really enjoying herself.’ Mary grinned, watching her friend’s mouth doing contortions as she sang with might and main, ‘My old man, said follow the van.’

  When it was time to leave, Eileen did so reluctantly. ‘I was just gettin’ into me stride.’ And as they made their way to the car she had them in stitches as she swayed from side to side, like a drunk, and slurred the words to ‘Show me the way to go ’ome.’

  ‘Woman, you’re drunk,’ Bill said, tryin
g to keep the smile off his face. ‘And there’s nothing worse than a drunken woman.’

  Eileen threw her arm round his neck. ‘Yer’ve got that wrong, Bill Gillmoss. What yer mean is, there’s no one better in bed than a drunken woman.’

  Bill spread his hands out. ‘What would you do with her?’

  Harry scratched his chin. ‘Take her home to bed.’

  Maggie came home on the Tuesday. She was as white as a sheet, and so thin her clothes hung loosely, miles too big for her. But she was glad to be home and her relief brought the tears to her eyes.

  Eileen was hopping from one foot to the other, her heart bursting with happiness. ‘Come on, Mam, don’t cry or yer’ll ’ave me at it.’ She’d missed her mother more than words could describe, but they were both too emotional to tell her now. She would tell her one day, but not until she’d got some flesh back on her bones and some colour in her cheeks. ‘You’re gettin’ in that bed for a few hours’ rest before the gang come in. And we’ll ’ave a house full tonight, everyone’s comin’ to see yer.’ Eileen slipped her mother’s shoes off, then reached under her dress for the top of her stockings.

  ‘I’ll do that!’ Maggie slapped her daughter’s hand away, her face flushed with embarrassment. ‘I’m quite capable of seeing to meself.’

  ‘Oh, yer ’ome, are yer?’ Eileen grinned. ‘Gettin’ yer knickers in a twist, as usual. Pity yer didn’t leave yer paddy in the ’ossie.’

  Maggie smiled. Oh, it was so good to be home with this daughter of hers. ‘Just leave me, lass, and I’ll get meself into bed. But I would like a cup of tea if you don’t mind. The tea in the hospital was terrible.’

  ‘Like maiden’s water, was it?’ Eileen threw her head back and roared. ‘I ’aven’t changed while yer’ve been away, Mam, either.’

  Eileen popped her head around the door of Maggie’s room to see Joan and Edna sitting on the side of her bed, both talking at the same time. ‘Come on, you two, dinner’s on the table.’ She walked over and put another pillow behind Maggie’s head. ‘They’d talk the hind leg off a donkey, wouldn’t they? I wonder who they take after?’