Inspired by Grace

by Jeanna Ellsworth

  Robison nodded and left.

  Gavin was the first to arrive in the study. With the late hour, he had to light the sconces along the wall. Slowly, the shadows disappeared, and he looked around. Someone had already righted the furniture from his chess game with Grace and returned the chess set to the shelf.

  She had listened so keenly when he told her of the duel. In fact, there was one moment that he thought she was about to put him in check, but she had retreated. For a girl who hated losing, it must have cost her a great deal to pass up an easy win. But Gavin wasn’t surprised. Her compassion, not competitiveness, had always been her dominant trait.

  Spencer never truly understood that about Grace. Sure, he played with her, but he only saw her fighting spirit. He never saw the girl who would sacrifice her own happiness to make others happy. Grace believed in the goodness of others. She had an ability to be passionate about whatever they were passionate about, to rejoice in their successes and accomplishments. Maybe that was why she made Gavin feel like he could take on the world.

  There was a knock at the door, and Gavin waved them in. Robison entered with Tim, a footman hired about four months ago, and Helena, a young housemaid who had joined the staff only a week ago. Helena’s eyes were deep red and swollen from crying. Her shoulders hung as if her head were far too heavy to hold up. She made no effort to look in his direction.

  Tim, on the other hand, looked like he was prepared to do battle. His eyes were hard, and he walked with fists clenched at his side. As Gavin looked at him, Tim lifted his chin a bit more.

  “What seems to be the problem, Robison?” Gavin asked.

  Robison finished closing the door and returned to Gavin’s side. “Sir, Timothy here has been fraternizing with this young maid. He was found kissing her, which of course is against the rules.”

  Gavin’s eyebrows rose in surprise, and Helena burst into fresh tears. Tim interjected, “If I may say something, Your Grace?”

  Gavin leaned back against the front of his desk and crossed his ankles. “Go ahead.”

  “First of all, sir, I was unaware that I am not to converse with the maids. Second of all, Helena is of age. She should be able to make her own decisions. Thirdly, how else am I to find a woman if I serve six and half days a week at Willsing Manor? Fourth, it was never my intention to compromise her. I am ready to marry her if she will have me.”

  Gavin saw Helena look up at Tim briefly. A bright flush came to her cheeks, and then she returned her gaze to the ground. Tim continued, “Fifth, if kissing someone is so terribly bad, I want someone who never snuck one before to tell me that.”

  Robison and Helena gasped, and Gavin coughed to hide his chuckle. Well, I guess that answers the question of exactly how much he saw in the music room. Gavin cleared his throat and tried to sober his countenance.

  “Thank you, Tim. I would like to hear from Helena now.”

  The maid’s eyes shot up to him with a look of sheer panic. Her mouth parted and hung there motionless as if she could not form any words. He raised his eyebrow expectantly and waited. “I am terribly sorry, Your Grace,” she flustered. “It was only one kiss on the cheek. I didn’t enjoy it none.”

  Gavin tried not to notice the look of pain on Tim’s face. Clearly the footman’s devotion was sincere.

  Tim stepped forward and declared, “Helena didn’t do anything wrong, sir. It was all me. This is my fault.”

  Gavin shushed Tim and addressed the maid again, “Helena, please do not be distressed. I do not blame you in this matter. Is there anything else you wish to say?” Helena shook her head frantically. “Do you wish to pursue something further with Tim? It appears he is quite ready to defend your honor.”

  “I am,” Tim declared. “I love her. I want to marry her.”

  Helena gasped, and her hand went to cover up her slow smile that was forming.

  “And how do you feel about that, Helena?” Gavin asked.

  “Sir, I don’t know. I . . . could I have some time to decide?”

  “Of course. I know how important this job is to you and your sister. But if you want to leave service and marry Tim, I will be the first to congratulate you. The choice is yours. Confer with Mrs. Bearl, and let me know what you decide. Until then, you and Tim are not to have any contact. Do you understand?” Helena shyly nodded. “Then you may go.”

  “Yes, Your Grace.” Helena curtsied and nearly ran from the room.

  Once she was gone, Gavin turned his attention to Tim. “Do not disappoint me, young man. If I hear of you going near her again, I will have no choice but to let you go.” Tim clenched his hands into fists at his side but made no reply. “If you truly care for Helena like you say you do, you must keep her reputation intact,” Gavin added.

  Tim paused briefly before lifting his chin even higher and then said curtly, “Like you kept Miss Iverson’s reputation intact, sir?”

  “Mr. Gardner!” Robison bellowed. “I should fire you on the spot for that! Never, ever, refer to the master or his guests that way!”

  “He kissed her! What is the difference between me kissing Helena on the cheek and him smothering Miss Iverson with his affection?”

  Gavin held up his hand to silence Robison’s rebuttal. “Tim,” he said, slowly standing up, “I have a duty to protect the ladies of this house from opportunists and rakes. Believe me when I say, I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe.” He walked toward Tim until they were nose to nose. “Now, you are to have no more contact with Helena until you hear from Robison.” Then, in a deadly serious tone, he warned, “And if I ever hear you speak of Miss Iverson that way again, I will fire you myself.”

  “Exactly my sentiments,” Robison affirmed. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Tim. The truth of the matter is, your selfish actions have endangered Helena’s position here. Any other household would have dismissed you both without references. The duke has shown you mercy, and you have repaid him quite ill for it.”

  Tim looked much more contrite, and he bowed his head. “Forgive me, Your Grace. I meant no disrespect. My mother always said I have a bit of a temper.”

  Gavin frowned and dismissed both men. As soon as they were gone, he collapsed into a chair. These kinds of decisions were so taxing. He was sure Tim meant no harm; it was only a youthful romance. But a girl had been compromised all the same. Helena was an orphan with no one to protect her. She could only be sixteen or seventeen, and her younger sister was dependent on her income. It was doubtful Tim could support himself, a young wife, and the girl on his footman’s wages. He felt uneasy about the situation. Hopefully Mrs. Bearl would know what to do.

  For now, he had to return to the dinner and watch gentlemen fall in love with Grace. Suddenly his cravat was entirely too tight.

  *****

  After the dinner, Gavin retired to his room with little more than a forced goodnight to his mother and Grace. He had already taken off his cravat by the time Winston attended to him. The dinner should not have been so difficult. Grace had seemed to enjoy herself. Isn’t that what he wanted?

  Winston, sensing his agitation, asked, “Did the night not go well for your Grace?”

  “Blast it, Winston! Stop calling me ‘Your Grace’!”

  “Sorry, sir.” Winston paused, then added with a grin, “Perhaps you misunderstood my question. I did not ask whether your night had gone well. I asked if it went well for your Grace.”

  “Ah, smooth recovery, Winston,” Gavin chuckled. “My apologies. To be honest, I do not know what to make of the night. Grace seemed to enjoy Mr. Harrison’s attentions. I like the fellow, of course, but did she have to smile so much around him? And Mr. Woods was practically beaming when he won a smile or two from her. She really did smile a lot. I am going to have to talk to Mother about seating us closer together next time. I could not hear a thing that was said that far down.”

  Sensing there was more to the story, Winston prodded, “But . . .?”

  Gavin sat down on the chair and sighed, “But she looked
happy. Happy with someone other than me.”

  “Is that not what you want? For her to be happy?”

  “Not with someone other than me.”

  Winston started to remove Gavin’s boots and seemed to be pondering his next statement. Gavin hadn’t told anyone about the kiss in the music room, but his valet knew all about his feelings for Grace. For the past seven years, he had heard Gavin compare every woman he met to her. Winston was more than just a servant. Gavin had always considered him a confidant—one that just happened to have a good eye for fashion and a real talent for getting out stains.

  Once both the boots were off, Winston stood and said, “Might I offer you some advice, sir?” Gavin nodded. “You told me two days ago how much you both need each other. From my experience with Mrs. Winston, to need someone is to love someone. To love someone is to need them in your life. If she needs you to be a friend, then be that friend. And if she needs you to be more, she will let you know.”

  “Clearly you do not know Grace that well. She would never let anyone know that she needed something. That would be dangerously close to admitting a weakness. I am not sure that possibility is in her makeup,” Gavin sighed. “I want her to be happy, but with me.”

  “Sir—if I may be so bold—if you are still preoccupied with only your own needs, are you sure you deserve a lady like her?”

  His statement was certainly very bold for a servant, but Winston was the closest thing he had to a brother. Gavin’s shock was replaced quickly by humility. “I do not know,” Gavin murmured. “I want to. I recognize that she deserves the best.”

  Gavin paused. “Winston,” he continued, “It might help me understand her needs better if you told me about your conversation with her in the library—”

  “Sir, I told you,” Winston interrupted. “I cannot divulge what a lady says in confidence.”

  “Yes, I know, but I just need a clue . . .” Gavin could see the grin Winston was trying to hold back.

  “Back to thinking about your own needs again, I see,” Winston teased. “If you truly want to understand her, I recommend talking to her instead of badgering me.”

  Gavin sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Very good counsel, Winston. I suppose you are right as usual.”

  “As you say, sir,” Winston chuckled. He looked Gavin in the eye and said, “If you listen closely, she will show you what she needs.”

  “I hope so. Because God knows I need her.”

  *****

  The next morning, Gavin was prepared. If needing someone was loving someone, he was determined to be exactly what Grace needed.

  He wasn’t naturally an early riser, but Winston had promised to wake him as soon as Charlotte was called for. The plan worked perfectly; he finished shaving and exited his room just as Grace was exiting hers. She hadn’t noticed him yet, so he had a chance to observe her unseen. She had adorable, giant ringlets at the base of her neck today—one was slung over her shoulder, and the other bounced temptingly with each step. Unable to resist, he reached out and twirled the ringlet in his fingers, only to startle her.

  “Oh, Gavin! You scared me!”

  “You should have known it was me.”

  “And you should have known better than to surprise me!”

  “You always say you do not like surprises, but I know you better than that. You adore surprises. Speaking of which, this is for you.” He handed her a yellow rose with the faintest of red tips.

  She smiled brightly at him and took it. “Thank you, Gavin. The smell is heavenly. You are so thoughtful.”

  “Well, I wanted to be the first one to give you flowers after your marvelous debut last night. I had Winston put the rest of the bunch on the breakfast table.” With a deep breath, he added, “You look lovely this morning.”

  She blushed slightly and said, “Thank you.”

  He offered his arm, and they continued to the breakfast room. “I want you to know something, Gigi. I would never lie to you.”

  “Which is wise of you, because I know you well enough to detect a falsehood.”

  “Yes, indeed. But do you also know that Mr. Harrison, Mr. Woods, and Mr. Lewis were all very interested in you last night?”

  “Oh, I doubt that very much. I am a nobody, Gavin. There is no need to puff me up.”

  “No, you are a beautiful somebody. Do not doubt yourself. I would not be surprised if half of the gentlemen at last night’s dinner call on you today, which brings me around to my point: If you are truly interested in any of these gentlemen, I would like to help. You are too stubborn to ask, so I am officially offering my services. I will never let someone take my place, but I want you to be happy. I want you to find that big, brave man. ”

  “Oh, Gavin, no one could ever take your place! I am grateful to have you as a friend.”

  It stung a little to hear her call him a friend; he wanted to be so much more. He wanted to be the only man in her life. He thought it wouldn’t be too terribly wrong to say it. “As I said, I will not lie to you. If it were up to me, I would be the only man in your life. But I recognize that you need more than a friend. You need someone to marry, have lots of babies with, and grow old with. As much as it pains me to think you might fall in love and not need me anymore, I am your best friend. I want to give you whatever you need from me.”

  Her eyes filled with tenderness as she looked up at him. “You will always be more than a friend to me,” she whispered.

  He felt his heart lift. More than a friend! He wanted to reach out and kiss her right there, but just as he took a step closer, his mother entered. It was as good as dousing a flame. He stepped back and asked, “So, Gigi, I understand Harrison is taking you on a carriage ride today. When will he collect you?” The heaviness of the conversation lifted significantly, and Grace seemed grateful for the change of topic.

  “I am not sure. He did not give me a specific time.”

  “Well, if I know Harrison, he has already brushed every horse he owns and is now wandering his stables, trying to calm his nerves. You will have to carry a good deal of the conversation.”

  “Oh, no, he was very good company last night. He hardly stuttered at all as the evening went on.”

  Gavin frowned. “Really?” He had been counting on Harrison to exhibit at least one poor quality.

  They continued in this manner while his mother filled her plate and sat down to the table. They were both so consumed by their conversation that they didn’t realize she was waiting for them to join her until she cleared her throat. Gavin sheepishly pulled out a chair for Grace, and they took their seats.

  “So, you enjoy Harrison’s company?” He couldn’t help but be curious.

  “Yes, very much. I am quite interested in the untold stories he has about you.”

  “About me?”

  “Yes, that is why he is calling on me. He plans to tell me the long, complicated story about why you detest your title and have decided to never marry.”

  “I never said I would never marry.”

  His mother chimed in, “Yes, you did, Gavin. Numerous times.”

  “Mother, it is simply that I do not want to marry someone who knows nothing about the real me.”

  “Yes, my dear, but how will anyone get to know the real you if you continue to avoid everyone? You worry that people see you only as the Duke of Huntsman, but what have you done since being titled to distinguish yourself?”

  He didn’t want to discuss this. He had no interest in distinguishing himself as a duke. How can my own mother not understand that I just want things to go back to the way they were?

  He turned to humor to lighten the mood. “There you are wrong, Mother. Just a few days ago, I made a very important decision. I decided that I will have the spiral staircase rebuilt. It wraps three times before it reaches the second floor. It is entirely too tight. One cannot even see whom is coming or going. The plan will be a waste of both time and money; surely a decision worthy of a duke!”

  Grace hid a smile behind her napki
n, but his mother was considerably less amused. “Gavin, if you think that is such a grand decision to make, then you mock the title. You are a duke! Do you not realize what influence you could have?”

  He was no longer hungry. He excused himself from the table as politely as he could, but Grace followed him out. She reached out for his arm. “Do not be angry with her, Gavin,” she said.

  He folded his arms across his chest and looked at her. “Do not take her side, Grace. I need your support.”

  “You will always have it, Gavin,” she reassured him. “I find I am no longer hungry. Would you take a walk with me? ”

  “But you might miss Harrison’s call.”

  She shrugged. “We will only be gone a short time. Besides, your mother can entertain him until we return. Please?”

  He reluctantly nodded, and she rushed to tell his mother that they were going to go for a brisk morning walk. He heard his mother say that she hoped Grace would talk some sense into him. Grace laughingly replied, “I am not a miracle worker!”

  He followed her to the front door. Robison gathered her pelisse and bonnet, but Gavin had no intention of letting his butler perform an act that he would relish so much himself. Gavin helped Grace slide her arms into the pelisse, admiring her petite, tempting form. He lifted the two ringlets at the nape of her neck and got a whiff of her cinnamon scent. With her back to him, he closed his eyes and leaned in to take another breath through his nose. It had to be her hair. Whatever she washed it with smelled like cinnamon. Just as he was imagining bringing the ringlets up to his face and caressing his lips with them, Robison loudly cleared his throat. Gavin opened his eyes and stepped away just in time before Grace turned around.

  Friends do not smell each other’s hair, Gavin! Get ahold of yourself! He hadn’t realized how hard it would be to just be her friend, but he was beginning to get a taste of it, and it tasted like cinnamon.

  *****

  Grace had felt the slightest pressure as he lifted her hair out from under the pelisse. She was suddenly very grateful for the long sleeves that hid her goose bumps. She quickly put on her bonnet to hide that the hairs on the back of her neck that were standing straight up from his gentle touch.