“So where is the nursery set? Mom hasn’t replied,” Oliver said. He went on, “Lila isn’t home so now is perfect for a surprise,” Oliver explained.
Darcy managed a short laugh, talking to Oliver on speaker phone while she browsed the internet, hunting down a local store who carried the set. If he could pickup the set and get it home fast, before Darcy and Lila finished their downtown roaming, that would be ideal conditions. He would have an easier time working if Lila weren’t around to hover. Lila couldn’t be around to notice he left to go pickup the set, at least not for a long time. His mother’s house was less than five minutes from theirs.
Darcy debated with herself quickly: let him have it or gently? Did she really have a good choice? “Well, did you call your mother yet?” Elnora made his mess. She could explain her reasons better than Darcy could.
Darcy decided that he should have to deal with reality. Elnora was a total narcissistic bitch. He had to expect this event, unless he’s totally helpless, which Darcy knew Oliver was not. He should know how to best defuse the situation before a marital bomb went off.
“I texted mom ten minutes ago. Why?” Oliver said.
“Yeah. Well. I’m at Elnora’s right now actually, just saw her. She’s got the furniture. And she’s keeping it. For herself,” Darcy said and while she felt slightly bad for Oliver with such stressful news, she knew she had no other option. Oliver was involved. Even if he didn’t want to be.
Silence on the other end. Then he swore under his breath, which caught Darcy off guard because she hadn’t heard him use profanity before. “Of all the things she could do to Lila,” Oliver said, sounding like he was more angry at his mother than feeling sorry for himself or Lila.
“My idea,” Darcy cut in before he could keep going, “Was to keep Lila out of it. Get the same set she wants. The exact set, so she won’t know it wasn’t bought by Elnora.”
He paused a second. “What? That’s crazy,” Oliver said. “I can’t do that.”
Darcy cut in before he could elaborate, “Trust me. You want to cover for your mom in this very delicate situation. Lila won’t let this just roll over. It’s a last straw event. Picture your pregnant wife turning violent and hitting your mother over the head with a frying pan and still smiling while doing it.”
Oliver groaned.
Perhaps Darcy was a tad overstating, but he got the point. Hopefully. The situation was far more severe than he would think. Too much grit, not enough love? Darcy realized she was getting a little overly blunt with her brother in law, but he had to get on her side and fast if they were to rescue the situation.
Darcy held her breath, waiting for Oliver to respond while silence lingered on the line. How long did he have to think about this? He didn’t have a sweet and easy choice C. A or B. Take your pick. Tell your wife if you want, but what your mother just did was horrible. And you still need a bedroom set for your daughter either way. Oliver wasn’t thick but he was still a dude and a rookie parent. He hadn’t learned the rules of nesting before a baby and how tense momma bear can be.
What would Galen tell Darcy? To let Oliver make up his own mind instead of forcing him to do what Darcy wanted. Challenging time to go trying out new philosophical approaches to life. Letting a guy feel more intelligent or intuitive felt lame, even if it was a necessity for maintaining relationships.
When Oliver remained speechless, Darcy spoke up, “You still have to get the furniture on your own. I’m telling you, for Lila. Happily ignorant ever after is your best choice.”
Not so subtle. Oops. She told him what to do. Darcy wasn’t winning the relationship improvement sweepstakes, but hell, she wanted to save her sister a ton of grief. Besides, Oliver was taken, so he didn’t count. Oliver would thank Darcy, no, owe Darcy big time, for the rest of his life. Well. That was reaching. Lila would be happy with her mother in law for a time, until Elnora screwed her over on baby sitting and would pretty much flush her new found credits.
“Okay, okay. Whatever. How can we get this specific set she has to have? I’m betting I can’t just pick it up at Walmart this afternoon.”
Darcy immediately felt like her preparedness was serving her well. She had a specialty furniture retailer who carried the exact set and according to their online ordering, they had it in stock for pickup. The downside was price. Who wanted to spend a grand plus tax just like that, drop of a hat?
She brought up her find to Oliver, which he could pickup that afternoon and keep the illusion for Lila. She would never need to know what her mother in law did.
“She pays the bills, Darcy. How can I hide that charge, even if I’m about to suck it up and spend that much on a nursery set? A coffee splurge, sure, okay.”
“A used set, even if it’s gentle, would be hard to hide from Lila.” Darcy said, though she thought it impossible to pass a used set in this instance. A floor model would be perfect, if the price were reduced.
“She’d be more mad at me for spending so much money, even though we need a nursery set,” he said and groaned. Darcy was pretty sure she heard more swearing, but she wasn’t positive, as it sounded like he held the phone away from his mouth when he had said them. “Can you find a deal on it? Probably not.”
Darcy got a text from her mother about the bedroom set, asking about setup and delivery. Nothing surprising there. And Darcy realized the risk she had to take. Marcella might be all too happy to throw Elnora under the bus over this stunt. Darcy and Lila’s parents weren’t hard pressed for cash, but Lila had definitely married up.
Still. Marcella could pay for, quite possibly, enough of the costs of the furniture that Oliver and Darcy could pick up the rest.
That idea clung to a fighting chance.
Darcy replied to Marcella: a situation has come up and we need help with a nursery set replacement. It’s a long story.
Too politically safe? Perhaps. Darcy didn’t want to divulge all the details, but realized that was a given if Marcella would pony up any dough. Darcy’s best chances were to hit Marcella while she was in a good mood and still riding high from her daughter’s baby shower. The other thing was Marcella liked being needed. Winning combination. Those giddy, euphoria feelings lasted long enough and could potentially get Marcella in a less than sensible frame of mind. All she needed was a little money. That was all.
Darcy could only hope.
After a brief and terse text messaging exchange with her mother and scoring agreement she could help with the costs, Darcy left for the center of town to meet Lila.
They wandered the shops, strolling down memory lane, telling stories. Things they did. People they grew up with. Whatever they got away with. Those were their favorite stories.
She texted, without drawing attention of Lila, to Oliver about the furniture, to make sure he was aware of the situation. Marcella could foot part of the cost if Oliver would take maybe a quarter of the cost, she could pickup the rest. It hurt to think about how much money that was, over 250 more out of her pocket, but it was way better than their other options.
Darcy slipped her phone back in her purse, hoping her sister didn’t mind or see those incriminating messages. Darcy bit her lip, listening to Lila talk about joys of the third trimester and what it would be like to raise a family in their same hometown they grew up in.
“It will be wonderful to raise my daughter here, I think. It’s surprising. So many classmates stayed local. Or moved to Chicago. I thought people would move to warmer weather.”
“The snow is pretty though,” Darcy volunteered.
“Maybe when you live in Dallas and get a couple inches per year. Driving in it is an art,” Lila said. “I can’t wait for what’s next.”
“So, what are you craving?”
Lila screwed up her face, then realized that Darcy was talking about her food obsession. Since getting pregnant, Lila had gotten more than slightly lax with carbs because she could. And her doctor told her to. Darcy was all too happy to have the excuse and she felt the stress relieving b
enefits of chocolate were qualified for her needs list.
“You ever thought about moving back? Probably not,” Lila said.
“Some. It’s still home here. Dallas is my home away from home. I love it, but this feels more homey to me.” That was true. Darcy had talked to several old friends about planning help who had moved close to the city and they loved the balance.
Darcy suddenly recalled that Tamar wanted an office in a big city. Chicago wasn’t more than ninety minutes away. She could live in the windy city and visit family on weekends. Crash on a sofa if needed. She found herself drifting to memories of those piercing eyes she met at Lila and Oliver’s house, whom she never got the name of after she had hurt his hand. Maybe he would pop over in the mornings, on weekends, before everyone else in the house woke up. Conveniently. He and Darcy would have time on their hands and not getting caught added additional excitement.
Then Darcy stopped at the curb and stared.
Tyler. Walking leaving the bookstore, bag in his hand. What had he bought? He hadn’t been into reading much when they were together. Was that something new with him? Maybe this was a different guy who just resembled Tyler. She’d been seeing him everywhere, ever since she came back to town. But this was different. He looked different. His clothes were different. Walking on the sidewalk, his arms swinging a little, his shoulders back, his curly hair cut short and dyed to match his short beard because he had been going grey since twenty-two. His flannel shirt was fitted and Darcy swore he had lost weight. Sunlight bathed him, as he squinted into the brightness. He kept walking, one step after another. Closer to Darcy. But had he seen her? Didn’t seem like it. He didn’t change his gait, his expression.
Darcy was positive that was him. She said his name, mostly to herself, sort of under her breath, just so she could verify to herself that this was real.
She wondered if he still wore the musk she bought him. She wanted to know if he missed them together as much as she did. She wanted to know how he was getting on without her in his life.
But most of all, did he still blame her for what happened?
“Darcy? We’re going this way,” Lila said, pointing the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She stood, small frame with her protruding middle and waited, squinting in the sunlight and using her free hand as a visor, “Did you spot something?”
Darcy twisted her lips and nodded, biting her tongue. “What’s wrong with me? I mean, really wrong with me?”
“What ever do you mean?” Lila asked, in her best teasing tone of voice.
“I’m serious, Lila. Why…do I keep seeing him? Thinking about him?”
The man in question ducked into a chocolate shop, seemingly unaware of Darcy. He was out of sight and Darcy didn’t feel any better resolved.
Darcy felt stuck. Can’t go back to the house, with Oliver heading out to get the furniture, (fingers crossed he was doing that) and then putting it together for his wife. She had to keep Lila occupied for at least another hour and that was being overly optimistic. To make this life saving maneuver with the nursery furniture play out, she had to keep Lila away while Oliver worked out a miracle without getting caught. Like playing Santa, it was fun provided you didn’t get spotted.
Lila took several seconds before she answered, “Oh. Tyler? Still? I didn’t think you guys had been all that serious. Well, okay, I don’t mean it like that. You were living together a long time. Uh. What am I trying to say? I didn’t think he was that serious. Does that make sense?” Lila didn’t look sure of herself. “I’m sorry. You guys were away so much from me, I never really got a good feel for you and him together.”
Darcy tucked aside her hurt and did her best to play it off, “Yeah. I know. It’s been what, four months? Time to move on. But I can’t.”
If she told Lila the truth. The miscarriage. The hurt. What was said. Maybe Lila could understand. But what could Lila do about it? There was nothing to fix. What happened was in the past. Darcy couldn’t bring herself to speak up about the past. Leaving it in the past felt like the right decision. Burdening her pregnant sister felt like a self centered choice.
“You want closure. He said shit…oops. Work in progress.” Lila quoted scripture she had memorized out of the book of Luke. She went on, “So he said things, you said things. You went different directions and it was all over just like that but it wasn’t over, was it?” Lila clicked her fingers. “Oh, don’t doughnuts sound so good right now? I think I need one.”
Seriously Lila? Can pregnancy brain just do that? Switch gears that fast? Darcy told herself to let it go. Click. Just move on. Guy wasn’t Tyler anyway. He’s gone. Move on. Clearly he did, whoever he was, has done that. “Doughnuts it is! You’ll put on some weight eventually. Maybe,” Darcy said, making herself laugh a little and breathe easy, telling herself that the man she saw wasn’t really Tyler. Again.
“Hey, I gained a couple pounds. Now. Come. They have this new flavor. Orange brûlée. Oh so yummy. Split one with me. Not like I can’t eat three of them, but I don’t want to go in alone.”
“I’ve not had carbs in six months because I want to hurt people after I eat them.” Darcy said.
Lila cackled, patting her sister’s shoulder, Lila’s wedding band glinting in the scattered sun from behind clouds. “You can splurge once in a while. C’mon. Even Aaron Rodgers eats what he wants twenty percent of the time.” She rolled her eyes, “Oliver told me all about it the other night. Some interview he read in Sports Illustrated. Besides, we’re walking. Totally fine.”
“Are you sure you should walk so much?” Darcy said and realized she should keep her mouth shut if she’s to keep her sister away from home.
“For the most amazing doughnuts, yes! I can walk. You’ll soon discover.”
“I’ll bet,” Darcy said. “But like I said, I don’t know what to do.” The day felt like picture perfect spring. Sunshine. Warm enough. Foot traffic in ample means.
“Maybe it’s pregnancy brain, but does he even still live in town?”
Darcy said, “He moved back home, not long after we broke up. Part of me thinks that was his reason.”
Tyler hadn’t seen her. Or he didn’t acknowledge her in any way. Should she chase after him? Confront him? Act like she hadn’t missed him from her life when she had. Okay. She sort of missed him. She missed them, which wasn’t the same thing as directly missing him.
Lila said, “I think you need to become the director of your own life,” she paused before adding, “I read that recently and I think it’s good advice. You know? It’s all about comparison and nonsense stuff that we shouldn’t let bother us, but it does. And I hate that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Go get what you want and don’t worry about everyone else’s opinion of you. I mean, look at you. You look amazing. I’m seriously jealous.”
“No. I’m not all that.” Darcy told herself she had more work to go on her body, more weight to drop, but she admitted to herself she still drew lingering eyes in public places. Even though it was sometimes uncomfortable, it felt a lot like validation after the fact.
“Darcy, you have the body of my spin instructor. Seriously.”
“Whatever. I’ve got goals. But thank you,” Darcy said, trying to hide how good it felt to get body envy. Even just a little. Darcy knew Lila could never understand how jealous she was of Lila’s situation without knowing what happened. Darcy would give anything to go back in time and do it all over again. The right way. Then her life would be so, so different.
Darcy would have brought the first grandchild into the world.
Lila went on, “But. What I’m saying is, you’re beautiful and talented and you can do…whatever. Anything. Make up your mind. But, it’s kinda obvious, If I can say this, I think you’re not over Tyler. And it’s making you crazy. But maybe it’s just temporary because you’re home.” She paused, walked a few paces before going on, “If Tyler is hurting you without hurting you then you suffer alone. And that’s just like…voluntary tort
ure.”
It was different, coming from her sister than from anyone else. She knew Lila. They had a mutual trust. They could share secrets. Darcy didn’t know quite what the best choice for herself looked like. Life was so subjective and unpredictable. What really was her best choice?
Darcy desperately needed to forget about Tyler. At least put him out of her mind. Shove him into the winter closet where the long coats hung and leave him there until at least November. Maybe December. By then, hopefully she would find a new one so she could donate him happily.
“I know. I should move on, right?” Darcy said and wanted to ask her sister about Oliver’s buddy, but decided against it, because she didn’t want her sister making anything of it. More so, she didn’t want to know because, subconsciencely, she figured the guy wasn’t available. And if he were available, then that made her think something must be wrong with him. Besides. Fantasy trumped reality. The life she wanted to live was so much better inside her head. “I will move on. I’m just…I don’t know. The shower went way better than expected and you are just radient.”
Lila giggled. “Stop. I feel like I’m sporting a basketball. Or a watermelon.”
“Beauty redefined. That’s all. Who says your belly isn’t beautiful?”
“Now you’re sounding like my husband,” Lila said.
Her Tyler lookalike hadn’t shown his face. Was he still inside the chocolate shop? Darcy tried and failed not to keep an eye out for that revolving door, spinning, the man who still unknowingly owned half of her heart walking through without knowing the power he held over her.
Darcy didn’t know quite how she felt. Had he left her or had she left him? She felt confused. Hurt. And she wanted to know how he felt about her. Did he still think ill of her because of what she did?
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